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Thread: Legend of the Kilin (Mo-hup fan fic #1)

  1. #41
    Senior Member TKL's Avatar
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    Goofy: why don't you continue the story? i want to know who it is first then I will post my part. Otherwise, I would ruin your character by creating some other man
    If a man could be at two places at one time, I'll be with you
    Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way

  2. #42
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Actually, I thought everyone knows who he could be. I just didn't want to be too wordy(which I always am ).

    The howling wind whipped away the scarf, showing none other than the scar-faced man who had appeared at Fortune’s Inn yesterday. During the incident between Mok Ying and the maiden last evening, he had disappeared silently into the dark. Not expecting anyone to recognize the Leung Family Kick and not wanting to confront any of Lord Leung’s friends at the moment, he had decided to leave the inn and continued his journey during the night. Guided by pale moonlights and twinkling stars, he had arrived at the foot of the mountain pass and had camped there till this morning before resuming his journey again.

    One, two more steps, he finally landed lightly at the end of the road. Not far from the path, he could glimpse at a magnificent building towering ahead of him. He took deep breaths and murmured “Yu Mei, I have come to your call.”

    Feedback would be much appreciated.

    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  3. #43
    Senior Member TKL's Avatar
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    hmm, thanks Goofy, I have intended for Yu Mei and my scarred friend to have some connection. Anyway, here is my contribution, not very well-written though Night descended over Shantung. Yet light was still brightly lit in the Cheung’s mansion. Everything must be done to perfection for the wedding ceremony. Ah Lan and Ah Yee had been working whole day cleaning up the guestrooms. They were somewhat amused by the reaction of other people in the household to their appearance. Ah Yee, being mischievous, grasped every chance to scare the male servants away while Ah Lan quietly observed the members of the household and memorized the way around the mansion. They had dinner in one of the storage room as the sight of them disgusted other people. Ah Yee rubbed her hands together and grumbled, “I cannot stand the harsh weather here. I hope we can complete this mission quickly and leave this place. Look at the food they have here, will they ever get bored of eating buns?” picking up a bun from the dish, Ah Yee continued, “ and their liking for raw garlic, eww…”
    Ah Lan smiled at Ah Yee, “Ah Yee, we are not here to eat and enjoy food. We are here for a purpose. I will try to search the Cheung’s mansion tonight when everyone is asleep. Hopefully, we will find what we came for quickly. The wedding would be one day from now and we must find it before the wedding is over.”
    Ah Yee tried her best to swallow the dry bun, “hmmm, I miss the dishes that you cook, Ah Lan. You always have this magic way with food and make them taste so delicious. So do you want me to do anything tonight?”
    Shaking her head gently, Ah Lan said, “No, I think one person would be better. Two people just increase the chance of being discovered.”
    Around midnight, when everyone was deep in their sleep. Ah Lan gently lifted the blanket. Ah Yee was sleeping next to her but did not stir when Ah Lan got up. Stepping out of the room, Ah Lan pulled up the black scarf to cover half of her face and closed the door softly. She had tried to enter Cheung Ping’s room during the day without success. The housekeeper was the only one to be allowed in there. Ah Lan reminded herself to ask Ah Yee to distract the housekeeper tomorrow. She quickly jumped to the roof and observed the Cheung’s mansion cloaking in moonlight. As Ah Lan identified the Book room next to Cheung Ping’s room, she leaped to the next roof and landed herself lightly outside the window. Pushing the window gently, she swung inside.
    The drawers of the desk were locked. Removing a short length of metal from her sleeve, Ah Lan inserted cautiously into the lock. There was a tiny click. She pulled out the drawer and began searching. However, at that moment, she heard footsteps and the gentle taps on the door of Cheung Ping’s room. Ah Lan could identify the voice of the housekeeper even though he had tried to lower it and a voice of another man. He must be Cheung Ping. Poking a hole through the paper on the window, Ah Lan saw the two exchanged whispers then Cheung Ping quickly followed the housekeeper. Curiosity swept through her, Ah Lan followed the two men quietly along the silent hall then through the servants’ section to the backyard.
    The two men entered an old storage house in the backyard. Ah Lan leaped up to the roof and gently lifted a tile and looked down. She was just in time to see the housekeeper holding a lantern disappearing into a secret passage after Cheung Ping. The door then closed after them and one of the storage shelves slowly moved across to seal the door
    A long time passed before the two men emerged from the storage house with Cheung Ping muttering oaths as he went back to his room. The housekeeper touched a vase on the shelf and the shelf once again moved across. He locked the storage house carefully before leaving.
    Using the length of metal, Ah Lan unlocked the door to the storage house. She turned the vase on the shelf just like the housekeeper did and the door to the passage was opened. Stepping cautiously down the dark stone staircase, Ah Lan reached a heavy wood door at the end of the steps. Removing a candle from her sleeve, she struck a match and lit the candle. The weak light flickered on the gray stone walls. The door was bolted. Putting down the candle, Ah Lan used all her strength to lift up the metal bar bolting the door. As she pushed the door open, the hinges squeaked eerily. Ah Lan stepped inside and gasped as a wave of deep, unrelenting cold swept through her.
    If a man could be at two places at one time, I'll be with you
    Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way

  4. #44
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Very intriguing TKL. Hope I didn't mess your scar-faced man up!
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  5. #45
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Given that Cheung Bo Kei and his dad being wishy-washy type of men, couple with his wife and his mom being rather devilish, I am not surprised if his descendents turn bad (providing Cheung Ping is his des.)
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  6. #46
    Senior Member TKL's Avatar
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    Goofy and everyone else: it seems like I will not have time to continue this story in a while so why don't you guys just ignore my last post and go on with the story from Goofy's part? I'm back to school and it's going to be a very busy year for me. . so sorry.
    I know you are itching to write some more Goofy, keep up the good work, i'll be reading the story.
    If a man could be at two places at one time, I'll be with you
    Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way

  7. #47
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    This is a Round Robin fanfic so it would be unfair to disregard any writer's contribution to this story. Therefore, TKL, you don't have apologize for taking this tale towards another direction. Ah Lan getting trapped inside this secret storage chamber is an intriguing spin. Here's what I have to add to it.

    Slowly entering the dark recess chamber, Ah Lan was struck first by the strong rancid odor of blood, sweat and decay everywhere. Holding her tiny candlelight flame, she realized that this stone antechamber was once used as an extra storage room for wine, rice and other staples. Now, it has turned into a practicing area of some sort with an assortment of swords, blades, and spears hanging from the two sides of the room. On the farthest wall, she could make out etchings of dancing figures and cryptic words that accompany each pose. Could this be what her sifu wanted her to find? She rushed over for a closer look. In her urgency, Ah Lan nearly tripped over a round object that rolled off making an eerie hollow sound. Regaining her balance, she shone her light down on the ground and gasped deeply. It was a horrific sight! Scattered bones and a smattering of mangled corpses laid by the farside of the room. What she had kicked earlier turned out to be a human skull. Although a seasoned swordsman by all means and used to seeing all types of carnage, she shuddered still. These people had suffered a slow and torturous death, because on the top of each skull she found there were five deep punctured holes shaped in a circular pattern that reminded her of a clasping hand print.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    TKL, your story is vey intriguing and no need to apologize, afterall this is roundrobin style. Anyway, C Monster is continuing the story and all is good. Come back sometime when you want to the break from your study.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  9. #49
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    Agree with everyone, it would be disrespectful to disregard your contribution to the story.
    -SC

  10. #50
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Don't know how good this would be, but I need to take my minds off the battle between me and the computer harddisk. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

    Swallowing the whelming fear, Ah Lan averted her eyes from the horrified sight and walked cautiously toward the inner chamber.

    Upon stepping into a semicircular room, Ah Lan was yet to gasped again with surprise. If the outer chamber was hell, the inner chamber by contrast was indeed the heaven. Though the room was small, it was decorated luxuriously. A bed on one corner was covered with rich red silk, embroidered with a pair of phoenixes. Nearby, a dressing table was filled with bottles of perfumes, boxes of sparkling jewelry, and varieties of makes-up.

    Confused yet curious, Ah Lan took a deep breath and started looking around. Facing the bed on the opposite corner, she saw a bookshelf covered with dust. Always interesting in reading, she went to investigate. Several books tumbled down and turned into a cloud of dust as they were touched, causing Ah Lan to sneeze.

    Ah Lan stepped back and waited till the dust cloud died down. On the floor among the heap of rotten paper, she saw a sealed leather package. Ah Lan picked it up, and retreated quickly back to her room.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  11. #51
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Huh, I did feel a lot better now.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  12. #52
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    This is a farewell till we meet again, cheerio!!

    Back in the bedroom, Ah Lan woke Ah Yee up, recounted her adventure briefly, and shown Ah Yee the package.

    "Mistress, do you think the manual sifu wants is in there?", Ah Yee asked wildeyes.

    "Hmm, I am not sure. But we'll find out now."

    Using her short daggar, Ah Lan slit open the leather package. Inside, a thin book with leather cover emerged. Trembling with excitement, both girls opened the book carefully.

    To their disappointment, it was not the martial art manual they have been seeking for. Instead, it was a diary written by a woman named Chiu Man. Ah Lan flipped through pages quickly, but suddenly caught her eyes on a word, 'Kau Yang Jun Kim'.

    Excitedly, Ah Lan pointed that out to Ah Yee. "Maybe this diary can be the clue to lead us to what we want."

    "Hmm, you might be right at that, Mistress. What else did you see there? Could there be more clues to the manual hidden there still?"

    Ah Lan shuddered again when she remembered the horror scene in the outer chamber. In all her eager to get out, she totally forgot to look at the painting on the wall.

    -----------------

    I kind of feel that I monopolize the story here, if so, please forgive me. I just like to write, and the story is getting more interesting.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  13. #53
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    This came to me as I was racking my brains for WhiteKrane's fanfic... since this fanfic -- so far -- has been based on a lot of unknown/unnamed folks with double identities and illusory backgrounds, what does the title of "The Chimera Legends" sound or "Legend of the Chimera"?

    "Chimera" (from good ole Webster) is name of a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythlogy having a lion's head, a goat's body and a serpent's tail. It also means an imaginary monster compounded by incongruous parts or an illusion or fabrication of the mind esp. an unrealized dream.

    I know that we shouldn't mix cultures up but in Chinese Mythology, we have a similar creature that stands guarding our front doors to scare off unwanted evilness. You know -- the "Kei Lung" (Strange Dragons) -- two statues that look like a cross between lions/tigers/ other animal features that flags the front gates of famous monumets ??? Well, for the Chinese title -- it would be apt to name it "Kei Lung Chuen" -- Strange Dragon Tales?? -- or "Kei Lung Gay."

    Since Jin Yong love animal metaphors from condors to flying foxes -- this is just a little inspiration I had. What do you think? Please comment.

  14. #54
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    C Monster: You must mean the Chinese mythological beast, the Kirin. I don't remember exactly what beasts it is a mix of. Legend of the Kirin? Not bad, it reminds me of the story for Stormriders but are we planning to add a Kirin into our story in the future? The "Kei" in "Kei Lun" actually doesn't mean strange, nor does "lun" mean dragon.
    -SC

  15. #55
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    Wink

    Sorry for the boo-boo. I did some more digging online and found out more about the mythological beast mentioned earlier. SC's right. It has nothing to do with "strange dragon" -- somehow I always assume so given my limited knowledge of Chinese. It's actually considered an Asian unicorn -- hybrid of dragon, horse and dog.

    The k'i-lin, or Chinese unicorn, is one of the four animals of good omen (the others are the dragon, phoenix and turtle), and chief among all the land creatures. The k'i-lin aided in the creation of human life, for the k'i-lin has both yin and yang ). Its appearance foretells the birth of an upright ruler, but seeing its dead body is unlucky. K'i = female; Lun = male. The following is a more extensive website for some of the legends involved with this mystical animal:
    http://stud-www.uni-marburg.de/~Vigier/uniasia.html

    Besides the mix-up, I still like the idea as a name. What do you think?

  16. #56
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Question

    On a closer reading of the webpage listed above, I found out that I made another boo-boo. According to the author -- k'i = male while lin = female. I found that hard to believe since I've seen the character "lin" used for names for boys mostly while the phonetic side for "k'i" is a common name for girls. Could someone -- more knowledgeable in Chinese -- confirm which part is which?

    Thanks.

  17. #57
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    "The Chinese unicorn, ch'i-lin was anciently described as having the body of a deer, the tail of a cow and the hoofs of a horse. From the Han period it was believed to be a benevolent animal, whose fleshy horn equips it for war, although it never does harm. Its appearance in the empire was a good portent, deserving immediate report to the emperor ..." (Watson, 1973, p.120-121).

    "The Chinese Unicorn is known as Kilin (pronounced chee-lin), which is a combination of both Ki, the male Unicorn, and Lin, the female Unicorn. "

    http://www.unicorn-party.org/chinese.htm
    -SC

  18. #58
    Senior Member charbydis's Avatar
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    I heard that whenever a sage was born, a kei lun would appear. And id a kei lun was killed, it would be a bad omen.
    "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
    Cyril Connolly

  19. #59
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    You're thinking about Confucius are you? A unicorn appeared to Confucius' mother before he was born and according to a legend, she tied a red ribbon on his horn. Before Confucius' death, he was supposed to have seen a unicorn that was killed and saw the same red ribbon on the horn...
    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
    - Lucille Ball

  20. #60
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    The story is really picking up... great jobs everyone. Does everyone agree to change the title to Legend of the Kirin? If so, let me know and I will rename it.

    Some more to add, killing away my boredom before class:

    Ah Lan heard some footsteps drawing near and quickly blew out the single candle they had burning in the room. The room instantly became pitch black. The footsteps were heavy and passed by their door a minute later. Xiao Yee whispered, "Mistress, let's review the journal early tomorrow morning instead." Ah Lan nodded her head in agreement and both settled down on their beds to sleep.

    At the crack of first daylight the next day, a severe knocking came at their doors. It was a kitchen maid who came to inform them that there is a lack of staff at the kitchens today and that Chef Bai will have to put up with them today--sour faces or not.

    Xiao Yee and Ah Lan both grumbled innwardly. Xiao Yee suggested, "Mistress, why don't I hurry along first while you find somewhere to hide the journal."

    Ah Lan agreed as Xiao Yee swiftly left soon after. Looking around the room, she couldn't find a suitable place to hide the journal and finally decided to keep it on herself in her inner pocket pouch after all. Ah Lan quickly splashed some water on her face, wiped it dry on her sleeve, and hurried to catch up with Xiao Yee.

    As she passed through the servant's quarters, a female voice suddenly called out from behind,

    "You there! I want to speak with you!"

    Ah Lan turned around to see a sweet looking maid dressed in a tidy green dress. "Yes?" she asked.

    "I need you to help out with something."

    "But... I am needed at the kitchen.."

    The maid looked crossed. "Don't you know who I am?"

    "No..I am new here."

    "Well let me tell you then. I am the future young mistress' personal maid, Xiao Yan. Now whose orders do you think are more important--the chef's or the mistress'?"

    Ah Lan almost shrugged in indifference. "Of course the mistress'," she said. She figured that it would be interesting to see how 'The world's most beautiful', Li Yu Mei, looked like.

    Xiao yan directed her to follow into the west chambers. They soon reached a large garden full of beautiful jasmines, all in full bloom. The fragrance was surprisingly not overwhelming but faint and making one want to linger to take another whiff.

    They entered a dim room with the all the windows and shades pulled. An elegant back of a female was turned to them as they approached. She was slowly combing long, lustrious, ebony black hair before a mirror.

    Ah Lan stretched her neck a bit to take a closer look but noticed from the reflection at the mirror that Li Yu Mei had a thin veil over the lower half of her face. Her eyes however were bewitching, sparkling even in the dim lighting. "Quite a beautiful pair of eyes!" Ah Lan thought.

    "Mistress, I have brought a maid here as you ordered." reported Xiao yan.

    Li Yu Mei slowly put her comb down and stood up. She was of medium stature and was clad in a beautiful silk blue dress. "What is your name?" she asked softly. Even her voice sounded musical to the ears, like the beautiful whisperings of the light wind.

    "I am called Ching yee, mistre---" Before Ah Lan could finish her sentence, several vital acupunture points were suddenly blocked, rendering her paralyzed and unable to utter another word. Though Ah Lan's martial arts were quite high and she is usually quite alert, never in her mind did she expect such a gentle-looking woman to suddenly attack at that moment--or at that speed! She cried innwardly and tried to unblock the acupuncture points with her inner force but Li Yu Mei's technique was so strange that Ah Lan could not break through.

    "She is quite ugly mistress, but I have observed her figure from the back, I dare say it is almost as perfect as yours. And with a red veil over her face, no one will suspect.." Xiao yan said to Li Yu Mei.

    "Ching yee, I need you to do me a favor.." Li Yu Mei looked at Ah Lan straight in the eyes, "I need you to pretend to be me tomorrow at the wedding ceremony."
    -SC

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