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Thread: Legend of the Kilin (Mo-hup fan fic #1)

  1. #1
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    Post Legend of the Kilin (Mo-hup fan fic #1)

    I started writing this for the Jin Yong fan fiction site a while back when the site was still active but never finished enough to submit a chapter to them. Didn't have a title for it, so I came up with the least creative subject title until something better pops up. I guess, try it on for size? <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

    Time is like a released arrow, shooting by in a blink of the eye. Heroes, peasants, rich, and poor alike, all return to the yellow soil in death.

    The Ming Dynasty had established itself for over eighty years already since its first emperor, Chu Yuen Cheung. The name "Ming" was derived from the Ming Sect that had played a fundamental role in the up-turning of Mongolian rule but after Chu came into power, he betrayed the sect and ordered the uprooting of Ming Sect members. Now the Ming Sect does not exist any longer and Cheung Mo Kei, its former leader, has also passed away half a century prior.

    On a small road to Shantung, a man in his early fifties walked briskly along the rolling hills, accompanied by his first two disciples. The man's name is Fong Zheng, the current leader of Qing Tong Clan. His first disciple is a young man in his late twenties--last name Cheng, first name Yuen Jin--of medium stature, and carries a long sword in his left hand. The second disciple is Lau Hong, five years younger, slightly taller, and also carries a long sword in his left hand. All three carry a pale-yellow bag on their shoulders, their faces covered with "wind and dust", suggesting of traveling from afar. Winter had settled in at Shantung province and as the three hurried past, they could also see their breaths alongside the gray, frozen scenery. After two more hours of traveling, night descended, and they reached a small village called Ng Family Village.
    -SC

  2. #2
    Senior Member Swordmaster87's Avatar
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    This is not relating to the story but do you know that Jin Yong also wrote a mo hup story after HSDS. I think a movie was made too.
    **~~Swordmaster87~~**

  3. #3
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    Wink

    Since no one's continuing, might as well add some more:

    Entering the village’s only inn, a rundown, two-storied place called Fortune’s Inn, the three travelers are greeted eagerly by a thin tea boy of about fourteen who shows them to a table. The first floor of the inn is an eatery, as is common, and is brimmed with the hum of conversation and laughter of other guests. A small stove is set up at the center of their table and the three travelers quickly stretched their arms forth to thaw out the cold from their fingers.

    "See-fu (martial teacher), have some tea," Lau Hong poured some hot tea into Fong Zheng's cup and did the same for his martial brother, Cheng Yuen Jin. "See-fu, how much longer must we travel till we reach Sword Lake (Keem Wu) Sect from this village?" he asked.

    Fong Zheng stroked his graying beard and replied, "We should be there in two days time."

    Cheng Yuen Jin teased Lau Hong, "Are you tired already?"

    "No!" denied Lau Hong and joked, "I'm just eager to see the world's most beautiful woman!" Cheng Yuen Jin laughed while Lau Hong made a funny face.

    Fong Zheng cleared his throat and his two disciples quickly pulled on a serious face but not before winking at each other.

    Overhearing their conversation as he brought them their food, the tea boy asked, "Misters, are you attending the wedding ceremony of the Cheung family's only son?"

    “That we are,” answered Lau Hong. “How did you know?”

    Revealing two missing front tooth as he smiled, the tea boy pointed to the other guests in the room and announced with authority, “Like you sirs, most guests here tonight, they are also on their way to the wedding ceremony. The inn’s been packed full these past few days. People from all over the place have to pass by here.” He boasted proudly, “You know, Fortune’s Inn is the only inn within the vicinity before reaching Sword Lake. My father, you know, he owns--”

    He was suddenly interrupted.
    -SC

  4. #4
    Senior Member TKL's Avatar
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    here is my first lousy attempt at writing fan fic <IMG SRC="smilies/redface.gif" border="0"> . i don't know if you really attempt to write a sequel to HSDS, so sorry if i ruin any of your characters or plot.
    <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
    The door is opened with such force that cold wind blow in from outside sending a chill down everyone’s spine in the inn.
    All the guests in the inn turn to the door. Standing there is a man dressed in black who appears to be in his late twenties. He is tall and solidly built with broad, sleekly muscled shoulders. The stark colour suits him. It emphasizes his fierce, and strong features. His coal-black hair is clubbed back
    and falling below his shoulder. His eyes gleam beneath the dark brows. Yet it is the deep scar that slashes across his left jaw like a lightning bolt catches people’s attention most. The scar does not detract in any way from his appearance, instead it bestows upon him a fatal attraction. It is a vivid, savage slash of old pain and mortal danger. The man contemplates the scene in front of him for a moment longer and then steps in. The very silence of his movement is unnerving because everyone else in the inn is so vividly conscious of his size and presence. The coldly arrogant set of his
    shoulder implies he is neither unaware of the curiosity in the faces around him or else that he does not simply care about it. He sits down at a table right to Fong Zheng’s. His right hand grasps firmly on a black sabre. Fong Zheng notices a flower-shaped jade attached to beautifully woven
    thread dangling off the handle. The tea boy asks politely:
    “Misters, would you like some tea?”
    The man orders coldly: “A room for one night, some wine and food”.
    The man drinks his wine quietly while the guests in the inn resume their conversation. Lau Hong whispers:
    “See-fu, do you know who he is? What is he doing in such a promote place? Look at his sabre, it’s unusually large. And the Flower-shaped jade just does not match the man and the sabre” Fong Zheng glances at his disciple: “Lau Hong, you must learn to watch your mouth”
    Cheng Yeun Jing joins in the conversation: “Yes, Lau Hong, you must keep your voice down”
    Lau Hong replies: “ See-hing, everyone else in the room is undoubtedly curious about him. Look at the Siao Lin’s monks sitting at the corner, they are watching him too”.
    Cheng Yeun Jing eyes the two monks before saying: “I wonder if the Cheung family’s bride is really that beautiful. Even monks are coming from far away to attend the ceremony”.
    At that moment, loud laughter from the next table cuts the conversation. The four men sitting there are obviously drunk. They are dressed in Jin Lun Sect’s clothes. One man calls out: “tea boy, more wine here”
    The tea boy quickly brings the wine over. The man grasps the tea boy’s arm then says: “tea boy, have you ever seen the Cheung family’s bride? We are having a bet here that she is not as pretty as my girl in the Yan Brothel”. The man then laughs loudly. The tea boy replies:
    “Mister, I had a glimpse at her face while she was passing by last year. She is surely the most beautiful woman in this world”
    The conversation is drawing the attention of everyone in the inn. The man demands: “Describe her to me, tea boy”
    The tea boy complains: “Mister, you are hurting my arm. Let me go then I will tell you what I know about the Cheung family’s bride”.
    The man from Jin Lun Sect releases the tea boy’s arm while he continues with his story: “She was wearing a veil but everyone could tell that she was a beautiful, and delicate woman. Her name is Li Yu Mei (flower in the rain). The Cheung family’s only son, Cheung Ping, is very protective of
    her. He is always by her side and never lets her go anywhere by herself”
    While the tea boy is telling the story, Fong Zheng is secretly watching the man in black. Fong Zheng notices how the man’s fingers clamp his wine cup so fiercely when the bride’s name is mentioned.
    Others are joining in the conversation now, one man eagerly says: “yeah, I heard about that. He is very protective of her. There was an incident five years earlier. No one really knows what happened. There is some rumour that the bride was engaged to someone else yet her family was in trouble and she had agreed to be engaged to Cheung Ping”.
    The man in black clears his throat.
    The man from Jin Lun’s sect laughs drunkenly: “then she is no different to my girl at the Yan Brothel. Everyone is for sale for a price, eh? Even Li Yu Mei, the most beautiful woman in the world”.
    His laughter is cut short by the icy voice of the man in black: “you are not worthy to speak of her name”. Everyone in the inn is stunned by the interruption. The Jin Lun Sect brothers stands up angrily: “mister, who are you to speak to us in such tone”
    The man replies coolly: “there is no need to know my name as you will not live to remember it”. One of the Jin Lun Sect man surges his sword towards the man in black who does not bother to turn around. He puts up his hand and locks the swords with two fingers as it sails past his ear.
    If a man could be at two places at one time, I'll be with you
    Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way

  5. #5
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    Wow, I can't write as well....but here goes!

    The Jin Lun Sect attackee whose name is Kao Lo could not budge his sword since the man in black seems to have it in a strangle hold. He tried using all his inner strength but to no avail. The man in black just laughed coldly and picked up his cup to drink some more wine.

    Kao Lo turned beet red. His other see-hings charged up to attack the man in black. They were all sword users. The man in black kicked three of them away 3 feet with his legs. Or at least that's what they assumed.

    Because they didn't see the man's legs move at all! It was too fast!

    "So this is the kung fu of Jin Lun Sect? Not even worth to play with my shoes!" the man in black mocked with utter disrespect.

  6. #6
    pyro
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    My attempt: (is Jin Lun same as Kwun Lun? I'm used to cantonese names.)

    "What kind of clan's kung fu is that?" whispered Lau Hong to his sifu.

    Fong Zheng replies, "It's Leung Family Kick."

    The man in black heard him and looks in his direction in mild surprise. "Who are you?"

    Cheng Yuen Zhen angrily says, "How dare you speak to my master this way!"

    He was about to get up but Fong Zheng put out his arm to stop him and said, "We're not
    here to mind other people's business today."

    The man in black pushes Kao Lo away and just laughed. "I don't want to see
    your faces anymore. Scramble!"

    Jin Lun Sect members helped each other get up. One of them turns around and
    asks politely, "What is your name?" He wanted to know because he was secretly thinking
    about getting their sifu to come back later for revenge.

    "Didn't you hear what that man said before?" the man in black pointed his finger
    at Fong Zheng.

    The Jin Lun Sect member said, "So it is Leung Family. Very well then Mr. Leung, we will be back."

    "Don't make me wait too long."

    The Jin Lun Sect people left.

    Fong Zheng asked, "Your surname is really Leung?"

    "Didn't you see me use Leung Family Kick?"

    "just because you can use Leung Family Kick doesn't mean you are really from that clan.
    Besides, I don't recall Lord Leung having any disciples or sons like you."

    "Why do you care whether my surname is Leung or not?"

    "Because Lord Leung is my good friend and I don't want someone to use his name to cause
    trouble."

    "Do you think you can stop me?"

    Just when Fong Zheng is about to reply, the doors to the inn opened with a loud swish again.

  7. #7
    Senior Member charbydis's Avatar
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    Keep going, you're doing a fine job! We, wu-xia fans need stories like this now that Jin Yong doesn't write any more novels. Don't give up!
    "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
    Cyril Connolly

  8. #8
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Talking

    Like what I've read so far. Why hasn't anyone added to this? Well, I'm going to take a stab at it. Don't know if this is the direction that this heading... but... here goes:

    Just when Fong Zheng was about to reply, the doors to the inn opened with a loud swish again.

    "Brrr... It's cold out there," remarked a shivering maid with two heavy parcels slung around her back. She rubbed her hands together for warmth near the stove. "Siu Yee (servant boy)! Hot tea please!" She dusted off the wood tables and chairs with her sleeves before dropping the bundles onto the table. "Master, please sit." She boomed out.

    Lau Hong looked around the room to see who it was the maid was referring. He had only seen her walking through that door. He blinked his eyes and a billowing cloth of white sailed through the door, oh so gently and quietly like the light caress of zephyr. The sweet scent of freesia permeated the inn. The figure wrapped in a thick cape of white fur glided onto the proffered chair. Face completely hidden from view because of the hood on the cape, but Lau Hong could only assume that it was a woman given the refinement and grace of her movements.

    In the room, there was only silence as all the men waited in baited breath for the mystery lady to take off her cape and lift her hood to reveal herself. At last, when the maid went to help her master, they were only granted with the vision of the latest elegance in Ming fashion. She wore a diaphanous light pink gown which had a cotton underlining. For added protection against the harsh elements, she was wrapped in a wool shawl. From the styling of her hair, multiple long braids tied together with silk ribbons, everyone could see that she was a young gulerng (lady) about 18 to 25 or so. As for her looks, no one could tell since half of her face was covered with a porcelain mask. However, just examining the bright luminous brown eyes and demure mouth and chin, much of her hidden beauty still shone through.

    ____

    What do you think?

  9. #9
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    Re C Monster: Funny that in my original fan fic, I had a beautiful girl come in too. Well, I'm a little disappointed that no one's really taking an active part in the fan fics but I hope to write some more in a couple of weeks. Here's a little venting--I HATE MIDTERM WEEK! whew, that feels a little bit better.
    -SC

  10. #10
    Senior Member TKL's Avatar
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    To c monster: this is good, keep it up
    I would surely continue this story when i have time
    to everyone else: don't you think this is really interesting since at the moment we have no idea who is the main characters and what is going to happen
    If a man could be at two places at one time, I'll be with you
    Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way

  11. #11
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    All pairs of eyes turned to look at the mysterious woman who seemed to have just dropped down from heaven. Her luminous eyes seemed to have an enchanting, seductive power. Some gaped rudely. She ignored everyone.

    "Tea-boy, hurry and get us some dim-sum and hot tea!" the maid said impatiently.

    The tea boy stood flabbergasted for a full moment rooted to the ground, blushed, and then hurried inside the kitchen to get the food. The maid took out a red handkerchief and delicately wiped the tea cups and chopsticks for her mistress.

    Flecks of melted snow dusted off from their cloaks--apparently it had started snowing outside. Fong Zheng looked across to his two disciples and he grunted in disapproval when he saw the two stealing some helpless glances at the woman.

    The woman slowly casted a sweeping glance across the room. Each person shivered inwardly as her eyes laid upon them--as if her eyes could see right through each and every one of their hearts. The room was silent with tension as she casually measured each and every one. Her eyes rested briefly at the man in black and the sword he carried before turning away. Finally she spoke.

    "Who here is Mister Mok Ying of the Hang San Clan?"

    A middle aged man in his 60's sitting at a corner table with three disciples suddenly spoke up. He was a rather tall and thin man with a long graying beard that almost reached his waist. Taken by surprise that this strange woman would query for his name, Mok Ying replied warily, "I am Mok Ying, miss."

    "You are who people refer to as the 'Sky Slicing Sword'"? she asked bluntly.

    "That is only an unworthy name that people of the Wulin bestowed upon me." Mok Ying said modestly. In the martial world, Mok Ying was renown for his fast and lethal sword techniques which were said metaphorically to be able to slice open the skies.

    "If you are unworthy of such a name, why don't you give it to me?"

    Mok Ying swallowed down his anger at this rudeness and said, "Though I am unworthy, it doesn't mean that you, miss, is worthy either."

    The woman smiled quietly. She said, "Wulin's people often quote the saying, 'Mountain has Leung, Water has Cheung' when debating the best of the world's martial arts. 'Cheung', of course as everyone knows refers to Cheung Chi Xue of Sword Lake Sect while 'Leung' is speaking of Leung Mo Lin, the leader of Dragon Mt. Clan. How do you compare with Mr. Cheung and Leung, Mr. Mok?"

    Sword Lake Sect and Dragon Mt. Clan are two of Wulin's most famous sects since the Yuen Dynasty collapsed. Cheung Chi Xue is the current leader of Sword Lake Sect. The saying that "Mountain has Leung, Water has Chueng" was used to refer to these two great fighters. "Water" is derived from "Wu" of Keem Wu (Sword Lake), founded near a huge lake in Shantung. "Leung" points to Leung Mo Lin, the founder of Dragon Mt. Clan, which is located at the holy land of Taoists in Kiangsi. The mountain is called Lung Fu Shan (Dragon Tiger Mountain) where Leung Mo Lin was born and naturally, "Mountain has Leung" is how the saying came about. Aside from Shaolin and WuTang, Sword Lake and Dragon Mt. Clan are considered at the top of other existing clans, though who sits at the third place is disputable.

    Mok Ying replies, "I am of course not worthy to be spoken of in the same sentence with Chueng Chi Xue and Leung Mo Lin."

    The woman's maid smirked and announced, "Just yesterday, my mistress has defeated the legendary Leung Mo Lin in a sword duel."

    The room was instantly filled with gasps of disbelief and low murmurs of the impossibility of such a thing. "How can a weak looking woman defeat the legendary Lueng Mo Lin?" they thought to themselves.

    Mok Ying's jaw had dropped. He slowly spoke, "That... that.. can not be true..."
    -SC

  12. #12
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Love the background on the characters and rivalries you've established so far - spcnet. I'm hazarding a guess that this Cheung Chi Xue and Cheung Ping are descendents of Cheung Mo Kei, right?

    Well, here's a little bit more to add:

    Before Mok Ying could even complete his utterance, the young masked lady pulled two twin swords hidden within her cloak, leaped into the air and launched herself toward "Sky Slicing Sword." The aerial attack came so swiftly that Mok Ying barely had a chance to pull his own blade out of the scabbard on the table. Bang! Sparks flew as the swords collide grinding metal against metal.

    Fong Zheng, his disciples and the other men quickly scurried out of the way giving the two fighters enough room to settle the score, but still be able to bare witness in this amazing duel. The lady's hand movements were synchronized to compliment one another exactly as if two swordmasters were advancing rather than one. Fong Zheng could see that each of her hands practiced a totally different style. One sword moved soft and fluid like water while the other aimed fast and strong like an arrow. To be able to combine the two styles and coordinate them to a singular attack took great skill and talent. Fong Zheng began to realize that the handmaid's earlier claim might not be all a bluff. Of course having the title of Sky Slicing Sword, Mok Ying proved his own mettle as well. For the first 10 moves, he was able to thwart her thrusts by using tables, chairs and any form of temporary shielding to protect himself from her blows. As the fight moved up to second level of the inn, the spectators saw that Mok Ying's defense was beginning to wane. If he don't find her point of weakness fast, the battle would soon end.

  13. #13
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    C Monster: Good guess about Chueng, but since this is a round robin fan fic, you guys can sure change it. I don't want any constraints on creativity! I originally intended it that way but actually did not plan to make the descendants the main characters of the story. I think writing a Jin Yong fan fic has many restraints because one would try to fit everything to his original stories. So please, no restraints!
    -SC

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    Hello all, haven't been here in a while, but you've done wonders, SC!!!

    Here's my take...

    As the sun began to set, the final decisive sword movements between the young woman and Mok Ying became apparent. Mok Ying was wavering, retreating as his movements could barely parry the woman's soft, lightning strokes. The woman advanced in a spectacular move that resembled the curve of a crescent moon as her thrust aimed at Mok Ying's throat. Mok Ying shivered as he attempted to obstruct the sword he knew he could not stop.

    As the darkness of the moonless night penetrated through the windows of the inn, an imperceptible change overcame the young woman. Her sword movements seemed less accurate, and she appeared less energetic. That deadly stroke targeted at Mok Ying was off-center and he was able to defend himself, regaining his stance. In the next few moves, the young woman seemed tired, yet still intent on victory. The duel was closed hastily to a draw, as her fluid sword pierced his arm and he cut off a single lock of her hair.

    The feisty maid, sensing her mistress' weakness and the eager eyes of the many men in the inn, hurriedly gathered their belongings as the young woman sheathed her swords. The maid hurled five white-feathered darts at the approaching men with unconcealed lust in their eyes. In the blinking of an eye, the young woman and her handmaid disappeared.

  15. #15
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Pretty good continuation, Goldsong! Here's my take...

    Lau Hong asked his sifu, "What was all that about?" while he made his way to pull one of the feathered darts out of a wood beam.

    Just in the nick of time, Fong Zheng used a quick arm maneuver to swat the hand of his young disciple away. "Be careful! It might be poisonous!" He warned.

    "What?!"

    Immediately, one of the lusty men who had been pierced by one of the darts keeled over, vomiting blood like a burst of fireworks all over his table. His friends jumped back as he collapsed to the floor. The man's face had turned into a dark shade of indigo.

    Fong Zheng, Mok Ying and an Elder of the Shaolin sect went over to examine the body. The Elder stroked his long beard and remarked, "Jue Guo, Jue Guo (What a shame. What a shame.) For a man so young to journey toward the next passing." His hand moved quickly over the dead man's face to shut the glassy eyes turned cold.

    "Mong Ley Daisi (Teacher 'Forget Wealth'), what is it?" asked Mok Ying.

    "Fong Si Ju here is right," the monk replied. "Poison. A poison so deadly that its origins was thought to be destroyed over 100 years ago. How can it be?"

    "What is it?" Mok Ying asked again hurriedly.

    The earlier mystery man with the scar across his face who had remained in the shadows during the spectacular duel sneered loudly from his corner of the room. "Tsk tsk tsk. What ignorance. Consider yourself fortunate that the light was on your side or you would be the one lying down flat like a dead fish right now." He raised his bowl of rice wine up as a toast toward Mok Ying.

    "Why you little..." Sky Slicing Sword's face turned red with anger. Although weakened by duel earlier, he was not going to let another upstart get away with a defaming comment like that. He was about to draw his sword again, but was stopped in time by the hand of Fong Zheng.

    Fong Zheng reasoned, "Mok Hing. Let it be. You took on the ai-tow (young chic) fair and square and clearly came out as the decisive victor. More than fifty pairs of eyes can bear witness."

    "Yes, yes," added Lau Hong. "Mok Chien Pui. Your sword strokes were executed most excellently. Especially the Yau Fey Chong Tien (One Leap Toward Sky) move. I've never seen anything quite like it."

    Feeling satisfied that there was still people who appreciate true quality in the crowd, Mok Ying complimented, "Fong Hing, why you might turn out to be the better teacher after all. Such clever disciples."

    "Now, now. Don't praise him too much. Why don't we get back to business and see if Mong Ley Dai Si might be able to identify our masked culprits?"

    Realizing that most of the action had drawn to a close, the crowd began to disperse. Some went back to their rented rooms to rest for the evening. Some curious onlookers stayed and waited for the elders' analysis.

    Back at the table where Fong Zheng's disciples sat, Cheng Yuen Jin asked his sidai curiously, "Ah Hong. When did you become such a big fan of Sky Slicing Sword? Which one was the Yat Fay Chong Tien move by the way? I think I might have missed it in the excitement."

    Lau Hong laughed and whispered back. "Sihing, there was no way you could have missed it. That was the big leap jump he did toward the second landing in between the time scrambling butt and swinging orangutan moves. Heh heh."

    <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

  16. #16
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool

    This is my first time attempt. <IMG SRC="smilies/redface.gif" border="0">

    Having heard that, Cheng Yuen Jin can't help laughing at his sidai's remarks. He whispered back, "So this is just another of sidai's jokes." Trying not to snicker aloud, Lau Hong replied "Moreover, the move should be renamed to Monkey leaping, Ape Swinging." Daring not to laugh out loud, the two youngsters had to settle with grinning and making faces to each other.
    At this point, their sifu, Fong Zheng walked back to their table. Looking at both of his disciples' grinning faces and knowing well of his second disciple's mischievous character, he shook his head warningly at Lau Hong. "Hong-er, I think your praise of the elder Mok has underlined jesting. There are many skilled martial art people here. Don't try to play tricks or joke around too much. We have an important mission to carry out, so we need to be careful."
    Lau Hong put on straight face immediately. He stood up, cupped his hands, and bowed to his sifu respectfully. "Sifu is correct. I promise to be good and not create troubles for sifu and sihing."
    Fong Zheng nodded to Lau Hong approvingly. "Hmm, it's getting late. Let's have a rest for tonight. We have to continue the journey early tomorrow."
    Once they settled down in their respective rooms, Cheng Yuen Jin, having seen his sifu in good mood, walked over to Fong Zheng's room, wanting to ask his sifu's opinion of today's event.
    "Sifu, who do you think the maiden can be?"
    "Hmm, I am at a loss myself. However, I remember having seen some of her stances before. Those are the style using solar energy to fight against opponents. Needless to say, it is a powerful kungfu. I thought this art has disappeared since..."
    "Since when, sifu?" Cheng prompted when he saw his sifu stopped and signed.
    "Once there was a grand duel for the leader seat of molum. I was barely eight years old then. I went there along with my parents for a look. The duels between high skilled di-hup are something worth to see. Although, this was the fighting event, everyone in the duel was very friendly and courteous toward one another. At the end of the day, only 2 fighters were left - leaders from Wudang and Huasan. The following morning, even before they had started fighting, something swooped down at them with the great force. A beautiful young woman appeared and started using peculiar stances - some of them you have seen today - and started attacking both Qin Tong and Huasan leaders. You can imagine the chaos among the audience. These two men were among the highest martial arts ones, yet they seemed unable to withstand the mere sword sweeping of the young maiden." Fong Zheng reminisced.
    "What happened next?" Cheng was so engrossed in the story.
    "Well, after a short period of time, the two leaders of Wudang and Huasan were totally defeated. The young maiden then disappeared leaving an astonishing crowd. Nobody has ever heard of the young maiden since although Wudang and Huasan people flipping the earth trying to find her. You can imagine how embarrassed the two clans must have felt that their sifus lost to an unknown young girl in front of the big crowd. After the event, the rumor had it that the Huasan leader shut himself in a cave, swearing not to come out till he could find the counteract of the maiden's moves. For the Wudang, the leader just disappeared the following morning, leaving a letter authorized his sidai to be the next Wudang leader. No one has yet seen him till this day."

    Please give feedback.
    <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  17. #17
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Well done job, Goofy! Love the history and recap of another epic battle from years ago. -- Reminds me a lot of the story Cheung San Fung told his disciples of his encounter with Kwok Seung and his having kicked of Shaolin. This is turning out to be a colorful bunch of characters with great history to them. Here's what I have to add... <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

    Cheng Yuen Jin then surmised, "Sifu, with the disappearance of their leader, that explains Huasan's decline over the past thirty years. They're no longer even listed in the top 5 anymore. It's no wonder they're having problems recruiting new members."

    Fong Zheng nodded. "It doesn't help either when the current leader that took over the reins is a corrupt sycophant of the Ming Dynasty Court."

    "You have something against our Emperor, sifu?" He rarely heard his teacher speak on politics, especially slanders against the government.

    "No. Not at all," muttered he. "Surname Chu got his seat to the throne using the blood and sweat of many Han patriots, that's all. Many talented fighters gave up their lives in order to take back what the Mongols usurped from us."

    "But that was so long ago. We're already coming to the second coronation of the third Emperor. Chu Taijo (First Emperor) -- Chu Yuen Cheung's grandson, and so far, there's peace throughout the land for the common people to farm. Cows are grazing. The wheat's coming in. What's there to complain?"

    Fong Zheng arched a brow. "Jin-er, I'm not going to get into a political debate with you tonight. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Crossing White Crane Mts. is no easy task."

    Yuen Jin agreed. Like the swooping wings of a giant crane, two oblong mountains fronted their entrance to Sword Lake. Only through a narrow, spirally pass would they be able to reach the lake from this side of the mountains. With the intermittent snow and ice, it was very easy to slip and fall through the snarly ravine. Of course, there was a safer trail that circled around White Crane mountains but that would mean another week of trekking. By that time, they would have missed the entire wedding celebration.

    "Well, good night then, Sifu." With that, Yuen Jin closed the doors behind him and went back to the room next door he was sharing with Lau Hong. Fong Zheng then blew out the flame from his oil lamp to rest.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool

    How about the title "Condor Trilogy the continue" because I guess it's about descendent of Bo Kei.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  19. #19
    Administrator spcnet's Avatar
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    Nice jobs, Goofy and C Monster. Goofy, I took the liberty of changing Fong Hing to Fong Zheng in your story. That was C Monster's reference to "Fong Brother" by Mok Ying.

    Not too keen on Condor Heroes as the title. Though I originally intended this to be Jin Yong fan fiction, it doesn't necessarily have to be a post Heavenly Sword story. So Chueng Chi Xue may or may not end up as Cheung Mo Kei's descendent. The story also may or may not be about his descendents either. It is all up to how the story progresses and how contributors continue the story. However, I do want to ask everyone participating in this fan fic, who the intended main character will be? Every story needs some hero, so I think it's best to collectively choose one. In my original story, he has not shown up yet in the story but we can choose someone already mentioned.
    -SC

  20. #20
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    I apologized for messing up Fong Zheng's name. I am trying to clarify my understanding between kau yin and kau yang. Hope I get it right, otherwise, SC please feel free to edit the wrong infos.
    <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/redface.gif" border="0">

    The night was dark and silent. Occasionally, the pale moonlights shown through the thick forest, creating moving patterns of shadow. Suddenly, a shrilling sound of flute shattered the silence of the night. The noise of the flute was high and wailing at the beginning, yet became low and mournful next then went back to high again. Two shadows noiselessly appeared in front of the flute player.
    “Master, we are here.” Moonlight flickered through the leaves at that moment, showing two figures of young women kneeling in front of another figure clad in black. All three figures have veils cover their entire faces, only their eyes shone through the opening gaps.
    “Ah Lan, you disobeyed me again.” The figure in black paced back and forth, the voice was severe and full of authority. “I never told you to go pick on the old man Mok. Besides you lost to a mere nothing, almost got caught, and jeopardized our long-awaited plan. What are your excuses?”
    “I am totally in the wrong, master. Please punish me, but spare Xiao Yee. She didn’t really do anything.” One kneeling maiden answered while cupping her hands with her head bent down low.
    “Master, I am equally to blame because I failed to stop the mistress from her wrong. Please punish me too.” Another kneeling figure scurried forward, pleading with fear.
    “Hmm, you will both be punished in time. Now, I have another task for you. Hopefully, this time you won’t fail me. In two days time, there will be a wedding at Cheung House. I want both of you to disguise yourselves as servants. They would need extra helps for the ceremony. During the commotion on the wedding day, you will go to the study of Cheung, find the Kau Yin manual, and bring it back to me. I need the Grand Lunar Manual (Kau Yin) to complement what I am practicing from the Grand Solar Manual. Here is a bottle of poisonous lily; you may have a need for it. Be careful, your solar absorb level was not completed yet, result in your weakness at night.” With that, the figure in black flipped a greenish bottle to Ah Lan, who caught it gracefully. Although that figure in black reprimanded two maidens in a severe tone earlier, the voice now was gentle and full of concern.
    “We will not disappoint you, master.” Both women sang out in unison.
    “Hmm, Ah Yee, take care of your mistress.”
    When the two lifted their heads, their master was already gone. One of the maidens stood up and lifted off her veil, showing an oval face with beautiful brown eyes. The other maiden followed suit, showing a youthful face with red lips and big black eyes.
    “Mistress, how should we disguise ourselves?” The big black eyes maiden asked her master while dusting off their attires.
    “Xiao Yee, many people have seen your face, so you have to make yourself ugly a little bit. Take a couple of these pills. They will make your face as if you had chicken pox. I will put on a few scars on my foreheads and twitch the shape of my eyes so no one would think I was the beautiful maiden at the inn.” Smiling to each other, they went to work.
    At the Cheung mansion, the two new maids were just hired. The housekeeper shook his head pitifully as he looked at both of them. One girl was covered with chicken poxes, and another, the ugliest one, had a face covered with hideous scars. Moreover, the latter was crossed eyes and had twitched mouth. “I have never seen such two ugly creatures. You both are agile and graceful in a way, but for your faces you could have been beauties indeed. Normally I would not have hired you, but we are shorthand already with the wedding to prepare and all the guests coming. You are not to go mixed with the guests. I’ll have you work with Chef Bai in the kitchen.”
    Chef Bai, however, refused to work in the same room with two ugly girls. “My food would get sour just from the look of that scarred-face.” Signing, the housekeeping reissue the new maids to clean the guest chambers. “Mind that you don’t let the guests see you around, lest they said us Cheung don’t have anyone pretty in the house!” Through to his words, everyone in Cheung Mansion is good looking. The housekeeper himself although an old man of sixty still had the handsome face and graceful air.

    <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/redface.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

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