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Thread: Betrayal

  1. #21
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Chapter 6: My Hero

    " Hmm, picking on a defenseless girl like that. Did your parents ever teach you manners?", a handsome man jump down of a tree nearby and stood facing the man in black.

    " First, she is not defenseless. You did see that she was winning before I...", the man in black stop and change the subject, " Second, my parents did teach me manners. It's just that she won't give us back our stuff."

    " Before you what? Before you attack behind her back? That was a dirty trick and you know it."

    " Why should I argue with you anyway? Attack him, you idiots!"

    The men all charge toward the newcomer but they were no match for him. He was able to defeat them all in a flash.

    " Idiots, how could you think that you could defeat me, Luu (Lau) Tuan Kiet?", the newcomer scoff

    The other men threw down something that cause the whole area to be cover in a thick fog.

    When the fog have clear up, the men have dissappeared.

    Tuan Kiet turn and walk away but a weak voice call out to him:

    " Help... me."

    Tuan Kiet stop and turn around to face a pale girl. Her lip was purple and her face was as white as a sheet of paper.

    Fearing that she might have been poisoned, Tuan Kiet grab her wrist and check her pulse.

    Ngoc Bich look at the strange man and then everything went black.

    Tuan Kiet took the star-shape object out of Ngoc Bich's shoulder. It has a python imprinted in the middle of it.

    " The Black Python Sect.", he mutter to himself.

    Thank you for reading. <IMG SRC="smilies/bow.gif" border="0">PLease leave comments.

    <font size="1">[ February 08, 2003: Message edited by: jeh ]</font>

  2. #22
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Okay, here's the cast so far:

    Ha (Ho) Ngoc Bich/ Ngoc Thanh/ Thuy (Water) Nhi (Yee)- Kristy Yang

    Luu (Lau) Tuan Kiet- Louis Koo

    <font size="1">[ February 08, 2003: Message edited by: jeh ]</font>

  3. #23
    Senior Member tido's Avatar
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    Hey Jeh! <IMG SRC="smilies/wave.gif" border="0">

    Finally got a chance to comment on your story.
    I must say, your story is really good. It is so mysterious. The blue pearl...hmm. I like the atmosphere you created in the story. Keep up the great work!!! Update!
    "It is poop calling vomit stink."---the insult dog

    Plz visit my site: http://omnibus.250x.com

  4. #24
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    Wow Jeh! I was wrong to wait too long to read this story. It's good. Glad you pick Louis Koo to be the lead, though I don't like Kristy all that much, but that's no problem. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> . HOpe you can update soon!

    NickiX
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  5. #25
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Hi Tido, <IMG SRC="smilies/wave.gif" border="0">
    Thank you for the nice complement. I didn't have much faith in this fanfic at first because no one was replying. But now I'm happy because someone finally reply. I'm going to do the best I can in this fanfic so I won't let you guys down.

  6. #26
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Hey NickiX, yeah a new reader <IMG SRC="smilies/clap.gif" border="0"> I'm so happy. Glad that you find my fanfic good. You're too kind. So you're not a fan of Kristy. That's okay. At first, I wanted Jessica Hsuan as the female lead but then she wouldn't be what I would call beautiful. So I change to Ada Choi but she look old for Louis Koo. I was stuck on the female lead but then while writing chapter 9, I was imagining how my character would look like. When I imagine Thuy Nhi (haven't appear yet), her face look like Kristy's. Kristy is one of my favorite actress so I decide to cast her as the female lead. by the way, I was reading your signature thing, and it sounded good. Are you planning to start on a fanfic or you post it already and I just miss it?

  7. #27
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    Hi Jeh,

    Well, where's the update? I'm waiting... I thought you would post your fanfic before or after, but i don't see it. Hehe... well update soon!

    Oh my signiture thingy... yeah it's already a fan fiction... That's my character intro. If you wanna read it I can give you the link to it, but I have to warn you though, it's not all that good and it's my first one too. Btw, it's not here because it would be out of place because it's a Thai fanfic with Thai actors and actresses. I really wanted to write a wuxia one, but it's hard not knowing anything about the customs and stuff. <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0">

    NickiX
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  8. #28
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Chapter 7: Misunderstanding

    Characters in this chapter:

    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo

    Ngoc Bich slowly open her eyes but was startled by a man's face so close to hers.

    " Get away from me!", she push the man away and try to stand up.

    " Hey, what did you push me for?! Is that how you repay your savior?!", Tuan Kiet stood up and face Ngoc Bich

    Ngoc Bich wasn't replying, she look down at her clothes. Seeing that she wasn't dress properly, anger arose in her.

    Smack!!

    Before Tuan Kiet could react, Ngoc Bich raise her hand and slap him.

    " What was that for?!", Tuan Kiet rub his burning cheek

    " That is for... for...You know what you did, you... pervert!!", Ngoc Bich shouted furiously

    Ngoc Bich ran toward the exit and shouted back at Tuan Kiet:

    " I, Ha Ngoc Bich, swear I will be back to kill you, Luu Tuan Kiet!!!", tears ran down her beautiful face.

    After Ngoc Bich left, Tuan Kiet stood there wondering what on earth did he done that make Ngoc Bich so mad. He coudn't find the answer.

    " Girls are queer, slapping a person for no reason. Geez, I hope I won't bump into that lion again.", he mutter to himself and settle down to sleep. <IMG SRC="smilies/argue.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/asleep.gif" border="0">

    Thank you for reading <IMG SRC="smilies/bow.gif" border="0"> please leave comments.

    <font size="1">[ February 10, 2003: Message edited by: jeh ]</font>

  9. #29
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    <IMG SRC="smilies/clap.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/clap.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/clap.gif" border="0">wonderful. Haha... I might end up like Kristy by the end of this fanfic. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  10. #30
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    What does you mean by you will end up like Kristy at the end of this fanfic? <IMG SRC="smilies/confused.gif" border="0"> Anyway, I would like to see your fanfic, it seem good. I don't think it would be out of place here because this is a place for every fanfic regardless of whether it is wuxia, or thai, or I even saw a fantasy type of fanfic (like Lord of the Rings etc.) Can you post the link to it? Can't wait. I will update the next chapter this weekend or sooner if I'm not busy (I doubt it though, I have a major project I have to do). By the way, if you really wanted to write a wuxia fanfic, you should write one. It really doesn't matter if you know the customs and stuff. Just use your imaginations and write <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> Are you chinese, viet, or what?

    <font size="1">[ February 10, 2003: Message edited by: jeh ]</font>

  11. #31
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    Oops...I meant liking Kristy. I might change my mind about her...hehehe...
    Last edited by nickianjo; 07-09-03 at 02:51 PM.
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  12. #32
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Are you Japanese, Korean, Inndonesean, Singaporean... Well, I hope I can get you to like Kristy, then you will enjoy this story more because this fanfic is about her <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">. I haven't start reading your fanfic yet but I will soon. If you don't want to write a wuxia fanfic by yourself, we could write one together <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">.

  13. #33
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    It'll be my honor <IMG SRC="smilies/bow.gif" border="0">. <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> If you really want to just email me.
    I believe I'll like your story even if I like Kristy or not... <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  14. #34
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Chapter 8: We Meet Again

    Characters in this chapter:

    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Lam Thien Tuan-not sure

    Tuan Kiet was looking around the marketplace when he spotted Ngoc Bich. He quickly hid his face behind a fan that he was examining.

    " Oh no. If she spotted me, she will surely want to fight. I don't want to fight with a girl. Better get away quickly then.", Tuan Kiet thought to himself and ran to the opposite direction of Ngoc Bich.

    He bump into someone.

    " Hey, watch where you're going!!", a familiar voice yell

    Tuan Kiet look up and saw the man from the Black Python Sect he fought with a couple of days ago.

    " Oh, it's you. Luu Tuan Kiet.", the man recognize him, " So where's the girl?"

    " Somewhere behind me.", Tuan Kiet reply, wishing that she have left already.

    " The man look and saw who he was looking for. He and his men advance toward Ngoc Bich.

    " Co nuong (miss), remember me?", he said

    " No , who are you?", Ngoc Bich retorted rudely

    " What?!"

    " Are you deaf? I say no, I don't remember you."

    " Don't remember me? I'm the person who injure you a couple of days ago, Lam Thien Tuan of the Black Python Sect."

    " Black Python Sect?", Ngoc Bich look surprise and then she look at Thien Tuan with a deadly grin, " Prepare to meet your death."

    Ngoc Bich unleash her sword and fought with the men.

    Tuan Kiet quietly try to get away but turn back. He couldn't leave a maiden alone to defend herself with these evil men.

    Tuan Kiet rush into the fight and help Ngoc Bich.

    It was chaos in the marketplace. Everyone was trying to flee for their lives.

    The seven fighters didn't seem to notice. They went on fighting, unaware of the surrounding around them. <IMG SRC="smilies/starwars.gif" border="0">

    Thank you for reading <IMG SRC="smilies/bow.gif" border="0">, please leave comments. By the way, can you guys choose an actor for the role of Lam Thien Tuan. He's a jerk but going to be deeply in <IMG SRC="smilies/love.gif" border="0"> with Ngoc Bich.

  15. #35
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    Great chapter! <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> Update soon...

    NickiX
    "share the glory in the story"

    .

    shut up already

  16. #36
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    Hey jeh! <IMG SRC="smilies/wave.gif" border="0">

    How are you?! Itís been long, huh? Wow! Finally just finished reading ur story and...oh my, itís has a lot of action! <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

    I like the idea with a maiden in the story, but however, Iíve always been totally against twin storylines, so hoped you will change my opinion on that <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

    Hehehe. Definately a good choice to pair Louis and Kristy up <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

    Umm...sorry, but since I am half Viet and my viet isnít that good, Iím abit confused with the characters in the story. <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0"> Can you please list down afew more cast? <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

    Anywayz, So...What is the official title to this story?

    UPDATE Soon! <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">

  17. #37
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Hi nickix, I won't be able to update soon <IMG SRC="smilies/frown.gif" border="0"> because I'm moving and my mom put my fanfic notebook at the new house. I'm still living at my old house so there's no way I could post any more chapters. I'm hoping I could move soon so I can update. Oh well, I will be working on my other fanfic, Revenge, then.

  18. #38
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Hi Hannah, you haven't update any of your fanfic for a long time. I'm still waiting. It's okay, I know you're busy. Tido mention that you're working on a website, what's the url. I would like to visit it <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> . Well, bye. Hope to hear from you soon.

  19. #39
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    Hey jeh! <IMG SRC="smilies/wave.gif" border="0">

    Hehehe. Sorry that I forgot to mention to you that I have just decided to post the latest update of A Tale Between Love And Feud In Shanghai on my site afew days before posting it here. But if you like, you can pop by my webbie now and read it.
    Here is the URL:

    Our Vision

  20. #40
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Hi, Hannah. I love your site! It's just so cool and colorful. I'm sure you'd put a lot of work on to your site. It's just so beautiful.

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