Legendary Book of Sun-Moon Swordplay

[eeyore]

I got a feeling this story is only half way... 1 girl admired 3 guys is going to have long resolve ...

anyway Mel, waiting for the next chapter.

how is your work? not that busy anymore? or you're now better in juggling time?

[Melanie]

CHAPTER 33 --- THE BLUE DIAMOND RAPIST

Chapter 33 is currently being revised. Please check back for updates. If you wish to be notified about updates on this story or on my other story (Legendary Book - The Prequel), please go to Cloud Manor and choose the "follow blog" option. I also welcome comments, gentle nagging for quicker updates, etc. Thank you for reading.

[Melanie]

CHAPTER 34 --- SNOW SO WHITE, BLOOD SO RED

Chapter 34 is currently being revised. Please check back for updates. If you wish to be notified about updates on this story or on my other story (Legendary Book - The Prequel), please go to Cloud Manor and choose the "follow blog" option. I also welcome comments, gentle nagging for quicker updates, etc. Thank you for reading.

[charbydis]

Hmmmm. Melanie. I wonder how many exectioners there are and are they all male? The innkeeper's son knowing martial arts was such a shock, and with him being to catch Tin Lok's sword. I feel sorry for the girls in this chapter - Gong Yu being injured and captured, Siu Fun being captured but luckily saved and Siu Han by being kidnapped by the rapist.

And Chun On! Wow! I feel sorry for him and admire him for his loyalty and bravery. And to die that way! I hope the White Executioner takes revenge for him!

[Melanie]

eeyore: Yup, I guess I am learning to make more time for my story so that it doesn't lag on without updates.

cherrie: Hiya! Chapters 11-16 are still in script format. I am still in the process of revising the script format to novel format for those chapters. The good news is that the rest of the story is in conventional novel format.

charby: There will be 4 executioners total. The fourth one has yet to be revealed.

Thanks for commenting and reading, everyone!

[hello me]

Very good....keep it up!

(silent nonverbal reader)

[Melanie]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! Thanks to all who are reading this story and a special thanks to those who are taking the time to comment. I really appreciate that you are letting me know that I have readers.

hello me: Hi! I'm glad you've decided to comment. It's always nice to have another reader. I hope you won't drop back to silent reader status.

CHAPTER 35 --- SCOUNDREL!

Chapter 35 is currently being revised. Please check back for updates. If you wish to be notified about updates on this story or on my other story (Legendary Book - The Prequel), please go to Cloud Manor and choose the "follow blog" option. I also welcome comments, gentle nagging for quicker updates, etc. Thank you for reading.

[Psycho Cat aka Cathy]

Keep up the good work. I wonder when will Gilbert finds out that Annie is a spy? What is his reaction once he find out about it. Anyway, I hope that Annie will survive and be save. I wonder who will save her? Louis or Gilbert?

[Melanie]

Hiya, Cathy! Welcome back to the story! Where have you been all this time?

CHAPTER 36 --- A LITTLE PRIVACY, PLEASE!

Chapter 36 is currently being revised. Please check back for updates. If you wish to be notified about updates on this story or on my other story (Legendary Book - The Prequel), please go to Cloud Manor and choose the "follow blog" option. I also welcome comments, gentle nagging for quicker updates, etc. Thank you for reading.

[SwisheR]

Wow, the fighting scenes are so naughty, just like the author. And I think you should kill off that guy with the silly, dopey grin.

[kidd]

no, I love the dopey guy, don't kill him.

[Melanie]

SwisheR: Kill the dopey guy? Are you sure now?

kidd: Oh, hello! I didn't realize you are reading this story. Thanks! Any more comments or words of wisdom besides not killing the dopey guy?

CHAPTER 37 --- A DASH OF SILVER, A TWIST OF BLUE

Chapter 37 is currently being revised. Please check back for updates. If you wish to be notified about updates on this story or on my other story (Legendary Book - The Prequel), please go to Cloud Manor and choose the "follow blog" option. I also welcome comments, gentle nagging for quicker updates, etc. Thank you for reading.

[SwisheR]

Originally posted by Melanie
SwisheR: Kill the dopey guy? Are you sure now?

Sure, since stupid, dopey characters piss me off all the time.

[eeyore]

Mel!

Just finish reading your last 3 chapter. So look forward for the next one.. Sui Han, who is she going to end up with?

[kidd]

I have a confession. I actually didn't read ur whole story. I skip chapters, so, I don't have a very accurate impression of it.

But I've now started reading it from the beginning again (no skipping chapters this time) and I'm currently in chapter 2. I like your style. It's easy to read and very clear. I can really picture what's happening and how is the surrounding from reading your description. It is obvious you get your idea from TV series since ur description of events make someone few like he/she is watch TV.

Since it is only chapter 2, I don't have any feeling towards the main characters yet. So, can't comment on them. I really like the emperor though. An emperor is use to having his way and was never denied anything. The fact that he can let his beloved concubine leave with another man and even give them his horse shows what a big heart he has. I do not know whether this is your intention, but intially, I was curious why the emperor is alone in his persuit of the couple. A logical course of action will be to gather a large number of soldiers to search for them. So, my reasoning is that, the emperor is aware that what Concubine Chan did is an act of treason, and he would be forced to execute/punish her if others know of it and he doesn't want to hurt her. So, he doesn't let anyone know, and just pursue them himself. If that is the case, the emperor is even more amiable than before. If it is not the case, and it's just temporary lack of logical judgement on your part, nevermind, I'll just assume that's the case. Hehe.

A question on your choice of words. In this sentence "She looks achingly beautiful and fragile and would have been mistaken for royalty if not for the steel chains clamped on her feet, restricting her from taking long strides and from running." in chapter 2, why do u use the word *achingly* to describe the girl's beauty. As far as I know ache means 2 things
1. feel physical pain
2. have a desire for something or someone who is not present What are u trying to convey?
Another one "Tears of gratitude swim in her eyes". How can tears swim? Tears can *well up* in her eyes, tears can *flow* or *streamed* down her face but tears cannot *swim* in her eyes. Ants can *swim* in her tears though

[SwisheR]

Originally posted by kidd
I have a confession. I actually didn't read ur whole story. I skip chapters, so, I don't have a very accurate impression of it.

But I've now started reading it from the beginning again (no skipping chapters this time) and I'm currently in chapter 2. I like your style. It's easy to read and very clear. I can really picture what's happening and how is the surrounding from reading your description. It is obvious you get your idea from TV series since ur description of events make someone few like he/she is watch TV.



A question on your choice of words. In this sentence "She looks achingly beautiful and fragile and would have been mistaken for royalty if not for the steel chains clamped on her feet, restricting her from taking long strides and from running." in chapter 2, why do u use the word *achingly* to describe the girl's beauty. As far as I know ache means 2 things
1. feel physical pain
2. have a desire for something or someone who is not present What are u trying to convey?
Another one "Tears of gratitude swim in her eyes". How can tears swim? Tears can *well up* in her eyes, tears can *flow* or *streamed* down her face but tears cannot *swim* in her eyes. Ants can *swim* in her tears though

Frankly, it's not right to criticize others what you're not good at, if you know what I mean. There is a term called personification. Rich usage of literay elements is what makes storytelling riveting; it's not an essay now.

Since it is only chapter 2, I don't have any feeling towards the main characters yet. So, can't comment on them. I really like the emperor though. An emperor is use to having his way and was never denied anything. The fact that he can let his beloved concubine leave with another man and even give them his horse shows what a big heart he has. I do not know whether this is your intention, but intially, I was curious why the emperor is alone in his persuit of the couple. A logical course of action will be to gather a large number of soldiers to search for them. So, my reasoning is that, the emperor is aware that what Concubine Chan did is an act of treason, and he would be forced to execute/punish her if others know of it and he doesn't want to hurt her. So, he doesn't let anyone know, and just pursue them himself. If that is the case, the emperor is even more amiable than before. If it is not the case, and it's just temporary lack of logical judgement on your part, nevermind, I'll just assume that's the case. Hehe.

Hmm. Not that I'm trying to be rude, or is defending Melanie, but your point? I mean you did think that the King was a honorable man for letting them go, does it matter what was Melanie's intend?

[kidd]

SwisheR,

I do not know what u r so work up about. Melanie ask for comment, and I give my honest opinion of what I think. So, we must only give glowing praises to author and nothing else? People should expect positive and negative feedback if they ask for one.

And I don't think my comment is particularly rude either. I'm all for personification and all that if it create the right image. But in the case of "tears swim in her eyes" it does not for me and I tell her that. She can even say "tears found her way to the brim of the eyes, cannot hold back, and finally topple out and flow slowly down her face", I can accept that because it still create the right image.
She also use a lot of other metaphore like "Lightening blazes across the dark sky", "horse's hooves beating the rhythm of a thousand drums", "their cries blending in with the soothing melody of gentle waves" and "Bees buzz busily around the field, flying from one sweet blossom to another, sampling their sweet nectar". I have no problem with these. I even think they r beautifully written. (Ok, next time I'll include more praises like this to balance out the negative opinion).
And for the 'achingly' word. I really do not know what she want to convey, so I ask her that. Whether she mean her beauty make the hero ache for her or something. It is a question. Ok?

Finally, for the Emporer comment, it does matter what her intent is, because I will look stupid and think too much if it's not. And furthermore, if it's not her intent, that it will be an illogical scene.

To Melanie,
I am sorry, if I hurt your feelings. I really don't mean to. I can tone down my negative opinion but I cannot give glowing praises when I don't mean it. I do like your story a lot and will continue reading it. And BTW, I'm up to chapter 3 now, and I've got to say, I love Chi Chi.

[SwisheR]

Originally posted by kidd
SwisheR,

I do not know what u r so work up about. Melanie ask for comment, and I give my honest opinion of what I think. So, we must only give glowing praises to author and nothing else? People should expect positive and negative feedback if they ask for one.

And I don't think my comment is particularly rude either. I'm all for personification and all that if it create the right image. But in the case of "tears swim in her eyes" it does not for me and I tell her that. She can even say 'tears found her way to the brim of the eyes, cannot howl back, and finally topple out and flow slowly down her face', I can accept that because it still create the right image.
She also use a lot of other metaphore like "Lightening blazes across the dark sky", "horse's hooves beating the rhythm of a thousand drums", "their cries blending in with the soothing melody of gentle waves" and "Bees buzz busily around the field, flying from one sweet blossom to another, sampling their sweet nectar". I have no problem with these. I even think they r beautifully written. (Ok, next time I'll include more praises like this to balance out the negative opinion).
And for the 'achingly' word. I really do not know what she want to convey, so I ask her that. Whether she mean her beauty make the hero ache for her something. It is a question. Ok?

Finally, for the Emporer comment, it does matter what her intent is, because I will look stupid and think to much if it's not. And furthermore, if it's not her intent, that it will be an illogical seen.

To Melanie,
I am sorry, if I hurt your feelings. I really don't mean to. I can tone down negative opinion but I cannot give glowing praises when I don't mean it. I do like your story a lot and will continue reading it. And BTW, I'm up to chapter 3 now, and I've got to say, I love Chi Chi.

Words without similies can seem so rude. I was not defending Melanie, and her feelings aren't hurt or anything (she isn't even there to read your comments since shes on vacation), I was stating what I felt toward your comments. Take it for what it is.
There, is that better?

[kidd]

Ok, . Peace. Thanks for your comment.

[Melanie]

Hi, kidd! Welcome to the story, and thanks for reading. Nope, I am not offended by your comments at all. After all, if a story generates no constructive criticism or friendly discussion, then it is not worthwhile to read. And SwisheR is just being gallant by coming to my defense in my absense from the forum, so don't be offended by him. Here are a few answers to your questions:

Yes, I did intend to make the Emperor a good guy, one who rules wisely (and sometimes with an iron fist, if necessary), but nevertheless has a soft spot for his favorite concubine. I guess everyone must have a weakness, ya?

As for certain words or phrases in my story, well, I am a flowery writer by nature. I love to set the scene with elaborate descriptions to give the reader a sense of where the characters are and what they are seeing. It is my goal to one day be skillful enough to transport the reader INTO the story, to be surrounded by the characters, the action, the scenery. Perhaps, sometimes I may get carried away with certain descriptions, but I tell myself that I am far from perfect. Therefore, for an amatuer writer like me, mistakes are still okie.

I described Sui Han as "achingly beautiful" to suggest that, in Wai Sun's eyes, she is so graceful, fragile, and beautiful that his heart aches when he first saw her. You know, like that twinge in the heart when you see someone you love? That's what I meant. Maybe it was a little overly dramatic, but this story is a drama, after all.

Finally, I would like to thank you once again for taking the time to read Legendary Book and for penning such a long comment. Please stop by and share your thoughts more often. Without reader suggestions and support, the story would be meaningless. Bye for now, and I'll see everyone in the next chapter.