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Thread: Dark Night

  1. #1
    Junior Member LilxAznxGrlx215's Avatar
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    Default Dark Night

    This is my second fanfic, and its kinda different from other fics, I hope you guys enjoy reading this, and comment or question are welcome!!



    Prologue:

    There wasn't a star in the sky, I was lost, in my own world. I can't get out, I can't get help. The seem to be a hole in the sky, and a little tiny light shown. I tried to yell, but no sound escape. I try to run, but end up in the same spot. Everything felt so real, which really scared me. I was sweating, I've never felt so alone..not like this.



    Part 1

    May 21, 2004

    "Wake up!!" a woman yelled.

    "Okay...Okay..give me 5 more minutes." I said with my eyes closed.

    -She was my room mate, she was my friend, she was my only person that ever cared about me, she is like my sister, my beautiful sister. Nataline has a cute face shape, with big eyes, blonde, brownish hair color, and very beautiful skin. I had another room mate, Lynn, but she is always in the bathroom. She is very HOT, man..any guy seen her must fallen. If I were a guy, I would fallen for her. Her personality were like many other beautiful girl, love make up, love shopping, love mens, love money, but one thing about her that show every one what she is make of is her personality. She is always very outgoing, talkative, and last but not least, she has the charms.

    "Get up now, or I’ll tell every one that you never kissed before!!" Lynn said proudly.

    "OMG, get something new, you've been saying this since the first day I meet you." I reply sheepishly.

    She slap lightly on my arm and walk into the bathroom, which I was suppose to be in. Half an hour had passed, and she still didn't come out. What is she doing in there, why does a person need that long to be in the bathroom.

    ***At the bus station***

    "Is this sit taken?" a guy asked me.

    "oh no, its not," I reply.

    Oh god, he was hot..wait no, HOTTTTTTT. My heart was melting. If I look at him any longer, I think I might fall for him, hell..I think I fall for him already. He has brown hair, and at the top, there were highlights. He wore a baggy jeans, and a white with a jean jacket on the outside. My face got soo hot as he sat right beside me. He chuckled as he raised his hand and introduced him self.

    "Hi, my name is Yoo Dan, what’s yours?" He ask while smirking at my blushed face.

    "Mi...mine name is Kim Hana, nice to meet you!" I stuttered.

    Why did I stuttered for?? This is soo embarrassing. He even gave me a smile of amusement. Lynn, I need you..now!!!!! really, this might be the only time I will need you.

    "Hi, hottie, what's your name?" a woman asked in a seductive tone.

    "HI, my name is Yoo Dan, and your's? Dan asked in a blank manners, which made the woman look bad.

    "Hiiiiiiii!!" I said happily as the stranger in front of me became my best friend.

    Part 2

    "Hiiiiiiii!!" I said happily as the stranger in front of me became my best friend.

    “Ummm...do I know you?” She asked in a disgusted voice.

    “No, but I want to get to know you!” I said happily.

    -Trying to hold down my anger, I reply in the most happiest tone. I could become a good actress! This girl, she is veryyyy pretty. She has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life, thin lips and oval face shape. Overall lets just say she is pretty as Lynn. She wore a pink tank top, with a blue flowery kneed length skirt. Her straight waist length hair made her face look angelic. People around me are pretty like models!!

    “Oh, okay, anyways..my name is Jenny.” She pronounce her name proudly.

    “Hi.” Dan and I said at the same time. I blushed and he still has the same expression as before..but he seem mad.

    -Hehehe..why am I blushing soo much? And can’t get this grin of my face! I wish I can meet him again since my bus arrive.

    “Hey, my bus is here, bye guys!!” I said as I waved.

    “That’s my bus too, lets go together.” Dan stated then he took my wrist and start to walk off.

    “Wait up!” Jenny said while catching up to us.

    -Should I give him my phone number or not? What if he doesn’t like me. What if he is some raper, or some killer, or robbers, or...

    “Hana, here is my business card, there is my cell phone, there is my work phone, and this is my e-mail.” He pointed out as he said.

    -I was snapped out of my thoughts, and start to smile like crazy. “Ohhh..here is mine, you can call me any time you want!” I reply with a huge, and I’m mean HUGE grin.

    “Here is my business card.” Jenny cut my huge grin.

    “Oh, thanks.” Dan said as he took the card from her hand.

    -I was staring at the card, and I suddenly had this urge to hug it, and which, I DID hug it. It was sooo stupid...he looked at me like I am stupid. I didn’t know what else to do, so I gave him a crooked smile. If hugging a business card isn’t dumb enough, the crooked smile really made me look bad.

    “Hehehe...” I laugh nervously then I turned my head the other way then I hit my head onto a pole.

    “Hahahhaha..hahahhaha..hahhaha!!! That is..hahahhaa..soo..hahhahaa..funny..hahhahha!!” Jenny laughed at me while holding her stomach.

    Dan chuckled, “Are you alright?”

    “Yea..hehehe..” I laugh it off.

    -The bus stopped, I got off, Jenny and Dan stayed inside. I walked happily thinking about Dan.

    “See you at work!!” Dan yelled out the window.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Eliar Swiftfire's Avatar
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    Default

    Watch out. Wrong use of tenses in certain areas.
    Swifty, Writing
    Film and book reviews, short films, videos from a Malaysian filmmaker based in Tokyo

  3. #3
    Junior Member LilxAznxGrlx215's Avatar
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    Default

    Part 3


    “See you at work!” Dan yelled while he put his head out the window.

    “Okay! But work? ” I yelled out as I started to chased after the bus. I stopped after I noticed cars and truck drivers gave me dirty looks and fingers. I looked at my watch, and 8:30 a.m.! I’m late for the meeting. The boss will kill me, as I thought about that, I ran the whole way to the meeting room. Everyone stared at me, and then turned their attention back to the files. I saw Mr. Mun gave me the-you’ll-get-fire-look. The doors behind me suddenly opened. There was a man stood right beside me panting like he just ran a marathon. He’s sooooo hot!!!!!! He wore a black business suit, with a black tie. I was drowning in his dark eyes. He has such beautiful eyes.

    “I’m sorry. I’m here now!” He said as he panted.

    -We both took ours seat. Mr. Mun smiled like he forgot about me. The hot guy stood up and bowed. “Hi, I am Franc, the new marketing consultant, and I’ll be partnering up with Ms. Kim.” He said in a confident tone.

    -He sat back down, and I bowed at him. About two hours, the meeting ended. I didn’t get fired, thanks to Franc...hehehe, I hope he goes late all the time. Nataline meets up with me, then Franc came running up to us, and introduced himself to Nataline. I could tell that Nataline was drowning in his eyes like me. My new objective for this month is, “I will hook those two up!”.

    “Hi, I am Franc, and you?” He asked Nataline.

    “Hello. My name is Nataline, nice to meet you!” She replied happily.

    He turns to me and says, “I hope we’ll be good partners!”

    “Yea, we will, don’t worry!”

    -It was 7:00 p.m., Franc and I decided to work on the new project tomorrow. We pack up our files, and then A question just slips my mouth.

    “Franc, what do you think of Nataline?” I asked in curiosity.

    “She’s okay, why?” Franc asked me in an amusement tone.

    “Nothing.. What would you say if I wanted to hook you and her up?” I asked. I wanted to smack my self soooo badly. Me and my BIG mouth.

    “You can try, but I refuse to corporate with you!” He said teasingly.

    -I pouted and chased after him. “Ahhhhh..why are you chasing me?” He asked me as he run.

    “Because you are Franc!!” I yelled as I laugh. I catch up to him and tackled him down. I ended up on top of him.

    “Sorry!” I got up and pulled him up with my hand.

    “Hahaa. It’s all right, lets go finish packing,”

    -He asked me if I want a ride home since it getting late, I accepted his offer. On the ride home there was an uncomfortable silence.

    “STOP!!! Stop the car!” I yelled out. The car stopped, and Franc head bumped into the car wheel.

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