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Thread: =/\This love/\

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Here and there, not too far

    Default =/\This love/\

    Actually i've posted this story in the story vault but just in case anyone want to read this....please, be my guest.....If you want to read the next chapter then I will try to post it here but it's available in the story vault....

    Anyway, enjoy your reading......


    Chapter One - Memories

    Time: Sometime in the present - Location: someplace in your mind


    ‘This relationship was doomed from the beginning. It will never work between you two. Why insisting something that will lead you to a brick wall? Why hurting yourself? Why Nick?’, tears started streaming from her eyes. She asked him with frustration filled her heart.

    ‘Doomed? Huh..’, he stroke her hair gently and smiled weakly but without a word he headed towards the door, he reached out and pushed it.

    She stared at his back this time feeling tired and reckless, ‘You won’t find her. She’s gone’.

    He stood still while one hand gripped the handle of the door tightly. he heard the words softly and instantly his heart jumped out from it place. He was patient enough to hold his feeling for years but this time he felt exhausted.

    Anger took control of his emotions and it consumed all of his energy that he was afraid his head might blow up. But maybe, just maybe, if it really happened than he would not have to face this problem again.

    But he swore that he would not give up, not in this lifetime. ‘I’ll find her’, he mumbled the words softly then left her in silent. She shook her head weakly and dropped herself on the couch feeling helpless.

    How come she falls in love with a man who doesn’t love her in return? ‘You won’t find her, not in this lifetime and not in this world’, she whispered softly and smiled cynically.


    My thoughts - 1

    ….As if my life were shaven/-And fitted to a frame, And could not breathe without a key/- And ’t was like midnight, some,/- When everything that ticked has stopped,/- And space stares, all around,/- Or grisly frosts, first autumn morns,/-- But most like chaos,—stopless, cool,—/-Without a chance or spar,/-Or even a report of land/-To justify despair
    (Emily Dickinson (1830–86).)

    The poem was nicely framed and hanged on the wall of our bedroom. She loved Emily Dickinson and collected her book, it’s old and dusty now but I tried to maintain it’s shaped from time to time.

    Memories, yes, that’s all I have now that still remains to keep me from loosing my sanity. The feeling of hopeless and frustrated that once consumed me slowly disappeared. Of course it was then replaced by loneliness and misery.

    I traveled too far and had reached the end of nothingness. I missed her so much that I could no longer bear the feeling; trying and failing each time and in the end it didn’t matter.

    The life that I had was merely a gift and a share.

    ‘Live on. Promise me that you’ll live on. Live on to share my part of life. See things that I can’t see. Experience things that I can’t This is my wish, will you promise me this?’, her words kept linger on my mind.

    The day when she left me forever, I summoned all of my strength to stay conscious, to capture every single thing in my mind and crafted it in my heart so that I’ll remember it for life. Memories of her that kept me from insanity but now I realize that it has been slowly faded.

    And like my life, it soon will be over. Do I have regrets? No, never. ‘Where will you be in a place without me?’, her last question that honestly I could never answer, but now I have it.

    No, it wasn’t because I didn’t have the answer when she asked me that. No, because actually I had it all a long in my mind. The only place that I wanted to be was at her side, forever.

    There’s no place in this world that could hold me back.


    He stood there under the three for God knows how long. Across the street there an ice cream shop with a lovely lady in her early 20’s serving the customers smilingly. He hardened his grip at the flowers and started to think that he was an idiot acting like this.

    His eyes were fixed at her movements, not once he let this chance slipped away. The girl of his dream was there right in front of him and all he had to do was summoned all of his strength and confessed his feeling to her.

    He finally made his decision and walked across the street. He reached the door’s knob and opened it. ‘Ouch’, a feminine voice screamed in hurt as she stumbled on the floor rubbing her forehead.

    ‘I am sorry. I…my fault’, it became a chaos in instant. He kneeled in front of her trying to help and felt guilty for what happened. He accidentally hit her when he opened the door carelessly.

    The next thing happened when Cecil, his dream girl, walked towards him holding a tray filled with ice cream but she didn’t see him and again she stumbled and dropped the ice cream directly onto his head and also that lady’s face.

    ‘Woop’, Cecil stared at both of them with pale face. ‘Woaaaaaaa’, the lady screamed but this time in panic when she felt the coldness of ice cream hit her face. Suddenly he felt this was the most ‘unluckiest' day in his life.

    Last edited by lonely_snowflake; 08-26-04 at 04:30 AM.
    Le coeur a ses raisons
    Que la raison ne connait point.

    The heart has its reasons,
    Where of reason knows nothing

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004


    do u have the continuation? i think its nice... i wana read moooree~

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Here and there, not too far

    Default A Never Ending Dream

    ‘I have a great life’, her eyes withered away as if she was talking to someone else.

    ‘Yes, you are’, he nodded weakly and felt the pain in his heart to see her sadness.

    ‘Why?’, she didn’t understand. ‘It’s my fault, isn’t it?’, she turned to him trying to find some comforts and it made him felt more guilty.

    ‘It’s nobody’s fault’, he lied and he knew he wasn’t good in lying but he couldn’t bear to see her drowning herself in grief.

    She smiled bitterly trying to find a reason to comfort herself because she knew no one could help her now. ‘He left when everything was perfect’, she sighed and slowly walked towards the balcony.

    He watched her back and followed her, he was afraid she might do something foolish.

    She sensed his presence behind her and again she smiled sadly, ‘I am not going to jump.’, he grinned and stood beside her.

    She knew that he was there to protect her but she didn’t want to look at him. His face would remind her of the one she loves most and now had passed away.

    The resemblance of their face was inevitable to avoid after all they are twins.

    Looking at him would only brought sad memories and now she has no courage to deal with it. She has no energy left inside her.

    He knew her reason and the pain she felt. If it wasn’t his brother’s wish he would have run as far as he could because he knew his presence would only give her burdens.

    Right now there’s no other option whether she liked it or not he had to stay. He could only hope that time would heal her wound in her heart.

    ‘It’s getting cold you better get inside or you’ll catch a cold’, he reminded her gently. She didn’t know how long she was standing there and let her mind withering away. His voice pulled her back to reality as she turned to face him.

    Their eyes met and instantly she felt he was still alive. She reached out her hand and touched his face gently, ‘Nathan’, she whispered out his name.

    He felt her cold skin touched his cheek gently and saw her eyes turned brightly just the way he remembered when the first time his brother introduced her to him.

    Spark of love inside her eyes reminded him that she was drowning in dream again and thought that he was Nathan.

    ‘Angel, I am Nicky’, he shrugged her shoulders gently. She heard his voice and stepped back, ‘I…..I….am….sorry’, she startled softly and dashed towards the bedroom.

    Nicky stared at her back slowly disappeared behind the door and sighed. He looked up and saw gloomy clouds were ready to pour the rain. ‘Nathan, what should I do?’, suddenly he felt so exhausted.

    She didn’t know how long she has been sleeping. Perhaps she didn’t even care. This was a better way for her to forget. Forget what had happened and maybe just maybe she would feel relief.

    Her room was still dark when she got up and sat on her bed cuddling both legs feeling nothing only emptiness. Slowly she walked towards the door and opened it.

    Stood there facing a face that so familiar and yet so very very far away struck her.

    Her beloved, Nathan, was gone forever. This time she would never hear his voice called out her name and no more laughter in this room. Did she accept the reality? Even though she knew dtill it made her wound bleed.

    She gazed at Nicky, Nathan’s brother and exact replica of him, who was sleeping on the couch soundlessly. His face reminded her of Nathan, his gesture, his voice and his laughter brought all memories of Nathan flooded into her mind.

    She kneeled down in front of him and stroked his hair gently. How could she live on knowing that her soul had gone? How could she fulfill her promise knowing that there’s no reason for her to stay without Nathan in her life?

    She shouldn’t promise something she could not keep. ‘I am sorry. This emptiness is too thick and the hollow inside me grows stronger. It consumed my entire mind and your presence makes it even worst. Your exact resemblance of Nathan always reminds me of him. I can’t fulfill my promise, please forgive me’

    Slowly she headed towards the balcony and gently climbed up onto the edge. The lights filled up the sky as the wind breezed gently upon her face. She didn’t feel the cold and freezing night. She felt numb and maybe she should be grateful.

    She looked down below 25 stories high and wondered if she could actually fly. She looked up and saw the glamorous light of the city this time she smiled. Her life was perfect then, she had everything and everyone who loved her.

    How about now? She wondered as she closed her eyes and began to feel that her body became lighten. She heard voices called her name and then everything turned dark.

    Nicky stared at the dark space in front of him. He saw her, he did. She was jumping from the balcony. Was it his hallucination? Her long black silky hair was moving like a wave when harsh-cold wind breezed. She was wearing her silky white gown that Nathan bought for their wedding day.

    ‘Angel’, he searched down but saw nothing only emptiness. Was it his dream???

    He jumped out from the couch in sweating feeling dizzy and looked around him. The door to the balcony was closed tightly as he dashed inside Angel’s room and found her sleeping soundlessly. He felt relief and closed the door slowly.

    ‘Nathan, please, don’t take her away from me again’, he mumbled softly and dropped onto the couch feeling tired and reckless.

    Again that night, he laid on the couch staring at the ceiling recklessly. He knew that from this moment on, his life would never ever be the same.

    The fear of loosing her would haunt his dream forever. .......

    The End
    Last edited by lonely_snowflake; 08-30-04 at 10:36 PM.
    Le coeur a ses raisons
    Que la raison ne connait point.

    The heart has its reasons,
    Where of reason knows nothing

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Here and there, not too far


    Chapter Two - Victoria Anderson

    ‘I am sorry…I am really sorry’, Cecil kept on bowing and repeating the word ‘sorry’ feeling guilty for what had happened. While he rubbed his hair with a towel also feeling embarrassed for what happened.

    ‘No, it’s Ok. It was an accident. It’s Ok’, the lady whom he was hit earlier, was busy convincing Cecil that she forgave her but he thought that she must try harder because Cecil seemed to find it’s hard to believe that she would forgive her that easily.

    ‘Actually it was my fault. I was the one who bumped you and made this whole mess started’, he moved forwards and apologized to her.

    ‘Oh, no….no…no…’, I didn’t see my way either. I wasn’t aware that you wanted to open the door. No, it’s ….’, she didn’t blame her or him but when she saw the two of them kept on apologizing she finally gave up and shut her mouth.

    ‘I’ll clean your clothes’, suddenly this young girl, the waiter in this shop, offered her this solution. She had no other choice and nodded, ‘This is my card. You can contact me here. I have to leave, Thank you’, again the girl who kept on apologizing handed her a small box and she assumed it contained slices of cakes.

    ‘Let me. It was my fault’, he took it from her hand and put it inside his pocket. She smiled and left the shop.

    ‘I hope she doesn’t mind’, Cecil complained while staring at the lady’s back. ‘Well, I am the one who should apologize’, he tried to turn her focus from the incident.

    ‘What did you say? This is my fault’, Cecil frowned sadly. ‘It’s Ok. I’ll make sure that she’ll forgive you’, he assured her while mopped the floor.

    Cecil stared at his back for a while and sighed, ‘you dropped the flower’, she kneeled and took it. It was a bouquet of calla, her favorite flowers. He stood in numb, afraid that he might do or say something foolish.

    ‘Brother, is this for me?’, she asked anxiously. Like a robot he nodded and started mopping again but this time he did it awkwardly. There’s a long silence behind him and made him turned around, ‘Happy birthday’, finally he did it.

    Cecil’s eyes sparkled happily as she jumped forwards and hugged him, ‘You remember. Thank you’, she kissed his cheek lightly and again stared at the flowers. He didn’t know what to do as he turned around and continued his work. His cheeks blushed like a red cherry.


    Sometimes, just sometimes, when you thought about it and then flashed of images of your past came flooding in front of your eyes at that time you remembered.

    That moment, one moment only, I realized that we’ve been destined to be. That moment was the moment when our path crossed each other way. Did you remember?

    The moment of chaos, no, it wasn’t smooth sailing at all. It was merely like bubbles that burst and disappeared so fast that I couldn’t hardly notice until the second time I met you.


    ‘I’ve met that lady again. I went to her apartment’, suddenly Cecil slipped inside his room when he was busy unpacked his luggage after traveling to London for two weeks. ‘huh?’, he didn’t understand.

    ‘You met her when you visited the shop. The one that you bumped’, Cecil explained. He thought about it for few seconds and smiled, ‘I forget about that. I should go there and apologize, shouldn’t I? oh, gosh…I owe her one laundry’, he remembered.

    ‘Don’t worry. I came to her house and explained. She understood everything and she was nice’

    I got her namecard but I misplaced it somewhere’, he totally forgot about it and now he regretted that Cecil replaced him and went there alone.

    ‘Here’, she took out a name car. ‘Where did you find this?’, that’s why she could go there. ‘You left this on the counter when you left in a hurry the other day. I saved it and I thought I should go there, so I did’, with innocence smile she explained slowly.

    He looked at her and wondered when he would have courage to admit his feeling for her. ‘Brother? Brother? Are you listening?’, she shrugged his shoulder.

    ‘Huh? I am sorry. Ok, because of this I will treat you ice cream then’, he grabbed the car keys and led the way. He missed Cecil so much that he wanted to be with her today.

    They sat on the corner of a nearby café and enjoyed the afternoon together. He didn’t want to miss this chance. He thought this was a perfect time. He bought a ring for her in London and wanted to declare his feeling.

    Cecil came towards him with a familiar smile, she brought her favorite, strawberry cake. ‘Cecil, there’s something I want to say to you’, his heart was beating uncontrollably when he tried to stay calm.

    He heard his voice was trembling and the air turned warmer. Cecil’s eyes sparkled with curiosity because she never seen him acting like this.

    ‘Oh, I have something to tell you too’, suddenly he felt strange. ‘What?’, he asked anxiously.

    ‘Go on you first I’ll tell you later’, she shook her head gently and smiled. ‘No, you first. I am afraid if I said this you would not be able to say anything’, he didn’t mind.

    ‘I am planning to continue my study in London. You know this right? I always have this dream in my heart that I want to go. I applied to one of university there and they finally accepted. I will go there next month. Don’t you think this is good or what??’, she told him everything excitedly.

    He sat there dumfounded by her statement. As if he was struck by a lightning and suddenly he couldn’t hear anything. ‘Brother?’, softly he heard her calling him and when he pulled himself to reality he knew then that his dream began to fade.

    That night, he said goodbye …..His dream suddenly disappeared in front of him.

    He was waiting for the bus and sat alone in the station. Two or three people came and walked back and forth but he didn’t bother. Cecil had decided to leave and again he was left with uncertain.

    ‘I don’t think it’s necessary’, a feminine voice struck his ears. ‘Yeah, I got it. Tomorrow, I’ll hand you the report first thing tomorrow’, she was talking on the phone just beside him. There’s something familiar about her but he couldn’t figure it out.

    ‘Yes. Thank you’, she hung up and turned to him. Their eyes met and instantly he felt somehow recognize those eyes. ‘You’, she seemed remember him too.

    ‘yeah, it’s me’, she was the one he met on the ice cream shop the other day. She chuckled and it sounded so warm to his ears, ‘It’s a coincidence. You know the other day your sister came and again she apologized. She insisted to put my clothes in the laundry and I couldn’t say anything so I let her.’, she explained slowly.

    ‘oh, yeah. She told me’, sister? Cecil is not his sister, but she said that to her. He grumbled in his heart and tried to stay focus. ‘Oh, by the way I should be the one who said sorry. It was started because of my clumsiness’, he was asking for forgiveness.

    Again she chuckled, ‘No, it’s Ok. I forgive you’, she tapped his left shoulder gently twice and nodded then laughed.

    ‘I should introduce myself to you. We’ve met twice but we didn’t know each other name. My name is Victoria Anderson’, she introduced herself. ‘I am Nick, Nicholas Crafton’...

    Le coeur a ses raisons
    Que la raison ne connait point.

    The heart has its reasons,
    Where of reason knows nothing

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