Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Forsaken General

  1. #1
    Senior Member SkineePanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    854

    Default Forsaken General

    Year 1587: Ming Dynasty 15th year of WanLi
    15th day of the 6th month

    On a hot summer night, two figures are running swiftly down the mountain path. It is a man with a child on his back. The child is sleeping soundly, drooling slightly while being carried. The man showed no sign of fatigue or discomfort despite the speed he is going at and the weight he is carrying. His leaps and jogging were both swift and graceful, displaying his excellent lightness kungfu. A straight sword hungs by his left side, while a quiver of arrows, a bow, and a long pole-like object, wrapped with cloth hung from his back with the child.

    He is a young man, in his mid 20's. The child is his disciple, a girl, only 6 yrs of age. Both are fugitives of sorts. Both are heading south.

    By dawn, the child wakes up beside her master, who is sitting below a tree, cleaning his sword.

    She asks, "Master, when will we reach Canton?"

    "Soon", her master replies.

    Her master always was a man of few words and soft-spoken when he does speak. His tone is somber yet gentle. His demeanor is quiet and melancholic. His name is Liu Jingyuan. A former high ranking military officer of the Ming army. He is in civilian clothing.

    The child surname is Zhu, given name Fuming. She is a curious young girl. Her nature is directly opposite of her master's. She would ask a very long, detailed question and her master would only give her a short answer. Despite her outgoing and wild nature, her time with her master negates all that, making her also quiet.....occasionally.

    After a short rest, they both continue their journey. They both walk hand in hand in the warm, glowing sunlight.

    "Master, when we get to Canton, can we go sailing on a huge ship?"

    "Sure."

    "Master, do people speak a different dialect in Canton?"

    "Yes."

    "Then do you know how to speak Cantonese too, master?"

    "I was born and grew up there. Of course I do."

    "Then can you teach me too?"

    "Sure."

    "Master, when we get there can we...."

    "Shhhhhh........."

    Jingyuan let go of Fuming's hand and dash forward ten feet, and shouted "Come out!"

    Soon about 14 men brandishing various weapons came out of the bushes. They wore no uniforms, so they're not soldiers. So obviously they are bandits. They are all filthy, some are grinning, some just look pissed-off for no reason.

    "Young man!!" one of them shouted, "Give us all your money and valuables and we'll let you pass."

    Jingyuan ignored them.

    "Bastard, do you really want to die?!!!!" another shouted.

    "Liitle punk, what the hell you think you're doing with those weapons?!!!" another also said.

    "Drop the damn weapons as well!!"

    All feeling indignant that this punk is not responding, a large man with a tiger fork gave out a gesture to one of the men. One of them walked up to Jingyuan, he is holding a 9-ringed sabre. He is grinning like a hyena as he approaches.

    "Punk, just gives us your money and everything's ok. You don't want anything to happen to your cute little daughter do you?" he said with a smirk.

    Then he said: "Lucky your wife isn't here as well or else we'll play with her too!"

    And all of them laughed loudly and heartily.

    Jingyuan suddenly lift up his right hand and swiftly smacks the bandit's face. The bandit's body violently spins a 360, and falls down the ground...........apparently lifeless. All the other bandits were shocked.

    "Fuming, close your eyes" Jingyuan orders in a calm quiet voice.

    Fuming does as she's been told. Without a warning, Jingyuan rushes forward towards the bandits. The bandits were caught surprised, not even prepared that he would actually dared to rush at them. In a blink of an eye, Jingyuan grabbed a sabre from one of the bandits, slit his throat and slashed 4 others with deadly precision and speed. Then with one single move "Fierce Winds Blows Descending Leaves" he cut down 3 men with one swipe. This sabre style is fierce, powerful, unrelenting, and fast. It was designed to cut down many enemies on the battlefield, a true skill among generals.

    The suppossed leader of the group instinctively came from the back and attempts to stab him with his tiger fork. Without looking, he blocks the thrust with the move "Reading Book Under the Moonlight" which is both a defense and a attack. The leader's 4 fingers on his left hand is lopped off. He screams in pain and the other 3 bandits ran for their lives.

    Jingyuan then drops the sabre and sternly says to the bandit leader: "This is a lesson, next time you try to rob or plunder or rape, think of today." The bandit runs away, leaving his tiger fork and 4 fingers behind.

    Jingyuan walks over to Fuming, who has her eyes closed with her hands covering them the whole time. He held her hand and says to her in a gentle tone: "Don't open your eyes yet".

    Not until they walked a good distance from the bloody scene till he let her open her eyes again.

    "You can open your eyes now".

    She opened them and asks "Master, is it all over?"

    "Yes" he says with a forced smile.
    Last edited by SkineePanda; 05-19-04 at 06:10 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member HookOnRice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    201

    Default

    Interesting Plot and great writing. Please update soon.

  3. #3
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Default

    SkineePanda,

    Nice to see you've started a fanfic of your own. Liu Jing Yuan seem to be a very cool and interesting character. He's very mysterious, I bet his past would be interesting to read too. Do continue writing!
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  4. #4
    Senior Member SkineePanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    854

    Default

    3rd Day of the 7th Month

    Arriving at the border between Zhejiang and Fujian, both master and disciple is in a fairly relaxed mood. The sun is bright and the breeze is cool. Fuming is amazed at the south's beauty. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and rivers run freely. Everywhere is green and full of life. Along the way, Jingyuan would instruct her more on kungfu. Fuming would often run ahead playfully, while Jingyuan watches behind. So far there is no danger aside from the occasional local bandits whom Jingyuan dispatch quickly and effortlessly. But by now a new kind of banditry is menacing the coastal regions.

    As they were walking the dusty path leading to a hill, Jingyuan hears a commotion. The noise gets louder and louder. What sounds like hundreds of voices along a stampede of footsteps echo the hills.

    "Could the army have come already? So they found us?" Jingyuan thought as he clenched Fuming's hand tightly.

    But theses voices are different, they sound different. And judging from the footsteps, they are not in formation.

    Some several dozen feet away, a huge crowd of people appears on top of the hill heading down the foot path. There were several hundred in all: men, women and children, young and elderly. Many were carrrying knapsacks and other belongings, many also carrying children. They looked rather scared, nervous, and in panic. As they all headed toward the direction of Jingyuan and Fuming, they were quite bewildered.

    "Young man", an old man said, "What are you just standing there for?!"

    "The Wokou is coming!!" the young man holding the old one yelled. "Run as fast as you can!"

    "Wokou? They still around?" Jingyuan thought. "Where are they?" he then asked.

    "About 3 miles behind us, hurry and run!" a woman answered as she clutches her baby.

    "Where are the gov't troops? Are they back there fighting the enemy?" Jingyuan asked.

    "Hmmpph!! Those gov't troops were the first to run!! Those damn cowards!!" a man angrily spoke.

    "Run, those Wokou are merciless!" the woman said again.

    The crowd moves pass them and the two stand in the cloud of dust.

    "Master?" Fuming called.

    Jingyuan looked like as if he was in a trance.

    "How can there be Wokou nowadays? General Qi Jiguang has defeated them over twenty years ago and the coasts had been peaceful ever since. Maybe there's a resurgence?" as Jingyuan thought.

    Then he said "Let's take a look."

    Before they even reach the villlage grounds, they have seen the smoke as it filled the skies. All too familliar of these horriffic scenes, Jingyuan told Fuming to hide in the bushes and no matter what, she should never come out till he comes back. He took his clothed pole-like object with him, and utilizes his lightness kungfu. Soon he reached the village entrance.

    Flames burned uncontrollable. Not a house was left untorched. Bodies lay on the ground, some burnt, others in blood. Some were even children. Some of the female bodies were striped naked, obviously violated. Unspeakable anger and disgust filled his heart. Adrenaline is pumping as he looks for Wokou blood. He frantically searched the burning village, but they have all left.

    Frustrated and enraged that he was unable find them, he throws his clothed weapon to the ground in anger. Then he felt pity and sadness for this once peaceful village.

    "This is just one village, many more villages must have been burnt and pillaged" he thought. He sighed as he looked down in sorrow. Then he find something........footprints.

  5. #5
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Talking

    Nice Update and good job in keeping it suspenseful and intriguing. Although I've noticed one mispelled word in the "carrying" knapsacks part and some sentence fragments where you could've combined them to make sentences. But overall I'm enjoying the story so far. Keep it up!

    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  6. #6
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Default

    SkineePanda,

    Please update, it's been a whole month well tommorrow it will be a whole month since you last updated. Thanks. Waiting for new chapter!
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  7. #7
    Senior Member SkineePanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    854

    Default

    Originally posted by Suet Seung
    SkineePanda,

    Please update, it's been a whole month well tommorrow it will be a whole month since you last updated. Thanks. Waiting for new chapter!
    wow, someone's actually following. I'm so touched

  8. #8
    Senior Member SkineePanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    854

    Default

    He crouched down for a closer look. They are still fresh. The footprints lead to a small footpath through the forest. Jingyuan immediately leap in pursuit. He wasted no time worrying about ambushes or a trap. He sped through the path with all his speed. As he approaches, he hears louder and louder shouts and laughter. Before he gets too close to the group he leaves the footpath, and leaps to the trees and observes.

    There are 30 or so men in all, all armed. They are all rough and brutish looking, with their clothes dirty and worn. Some are wearing strange robes and straw hats, and appearing to wear sandals. Some wear regular Han clothes with occasional armor. Some are speaking Han dialects yet some are speaking something entirely different. But both different groups seem to get along well.

    Jingyuan is puzzled. “What a odd-looking group of bandits” he thought.

    These men appear to be in good spirits. Several of them are carrying bags of loot. They laugh and roar with pleasure for the deeds they done today. They appear to be ignorant of his presence. He decides to strike.

    Jingyuan leaps down from the trees and lands in front of the group, blocking their path. Some of the bandits become alarmed and draw their weapons.

    “Who the hell are you?!!!” one of them yelled. Another also yells but in something that Jingyuan can’t understand. Among the strange-looking bandits, they laughed.

    “A good dog don’t block the way, do yourself a favor and scram!!!! one yelled in Han again.

    Jingyuan made an obscene hand gesture. The Han bandits were pissed off and the “strange” bandits were baffled.

    The three closest to Jingyuan, rushed at him with their weapons and battle cries. Jingyuan unwraps the cloth, revealing a 7-foot long steel spear. Its tassel emits a crimson red. The three charged and attacked Jingyuan’s front. He stood his ground and raised his spear. He blocked their strikes with the blunt end of the spear. With one circular motion he knocks their weapons out of their hands and makes a lightning quick sidestep. While the three men are aligned side to side, he plunges his spear forward in a swift and powerful motion, utilizing the move “Breaking through Heaven and Earth”. The single spear thrust impales all three men.

    The others were utterly shocked. In a blink of an eye, this one man has killed three men with a single move. Not daring to take him lightly, they tightly clench their weapons and prepare for a move. Jingyuan pulls out his spear out of the three men’s bodies. Half of the spear shaft, from the spearhead all the way down to the middle, is covered in fresh blood. The tassel is drenched and dripping red.

    One of the men roared at him in an indecipherable tongue and charged. He appears to be using a saber or sword, and with two hands. He swung his weapon in a quick fashion. Flashes of shining silver appeared before Jingyuan’s eyes. Each strike comes out faster than the next. Jingyuan dodged and back stepped effortlessly while observing his techniques. “This bandit’s sword style is quite ferocious,” he thought. The man yelled with each attack, sounded as if he’s cursing in another language. Nonetheless, he saw an opening when that bandit swung again. He crouched and pierced him in the abdomen with a “Pillar Holds Up the Sky”. All the other bandits surround him. Jingyuan spins his weapon around using “Swept Away the Clouds”. Its force was unimaginable. The bandits although not being in contact with the spear, felt the strong winds coming from it. In a feint move, Jingyuan suddenly crouches down and swung his spear around and sweeps six of them off their feet. Before they can even get up, Jingyuan spears them while they were on the ground in frightening speed. It all happened in a sudden. As if the moment they landed, the spear has already plunged into their bodies. The others didn’t know what they saw. They saw him move in an instant and only grasp what were faint images of his movements. And soon it was their turn to die.

    The foreigners attack the fiercest, but to no avail. The Han bandits, on the other hand let them attack and wait for their chances. When one of the foreign bandits bravely attacks in front, the Han-looking bandit hides behind. Jingyuan charges with his weapon forward and again spears multiple men with one strike. He did this several more times, taking multiple lives with one thrust. It’s a special skill of his on the battlefield, often times when he is outnumbered. Some attempt to attack from behind, but it’s if he had eyes all around him. All attackers are met with a spear in the chest. Jingyuan thrust out his spear with each step. No one can dodge or block a single move. Every strike hits its mark. In 15 steps, Jingyuan killed 15 men. Blood splattered everywhere, as the spear’s tassel waved and waved. A few began to run away, but were literally stabbed in the back when Jingyuan reached them. “Spare me”, “have mercy”, they pleaded. It all fell into deaf ears.

    Before long it was almost over except a lone bandit, another one of the foreign ones. He simply stood there and in a frantic and desperate state, he blindly unleashes a series of slashes and chops. He did this for a while as he sweats and pants. Jingyuan was part amused and part weary of the spectacle. He thrust out his spear with one hand and sends him to his death. The smell of blood consumed the air, and Jingyuan’s spear tassel drips relentlessly, leaving a little river of its own as he walks around.

    He closely inspect these men, and most notably…………their weapons. Jingyuan picked up one of their weapons, a blade. The same ones used by the foreign bandits. It looked like nothing he had ever encountered before.

    “Doesn’t look like a saber or a sword” he examined.

    Its handle is long, obviously used with both hands. But it is single edged and curved like a saber but with a thin blade like a sword. Its blade is sharp and well made.

    “These definitely must be the true Japanese wokou that General Qi described in his Ji Xiao Xin Shu(New Text of Effective Tactics/Techniques)” he thought. “Oh no, wonder if Fuming’s still okay?”

  9. #9
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Default

    Hi SkineePanda,

    Hahaha Whoa...Bloodsheding action, I wonder if any blood had gotten on Jing Yuan's clothing?

    Somehow JingYuan and his spear reminds me of Marco Ngai in the TVB series, Self-Denial-he played Yue Fei's grandson in one of the sub-stories in the series. Pretty interesting. So I think I was picturing him this whole time with fighting the spear. Too bad I don't have a picture of Marco Ngai in that role, but oh well.

    Interesting action, now wheres the concrete plot? I'm saying you should update a bit more so I can see more than just all these action scenes. Good job, btw.

    Just like a guy to forget about a little girl. Hahaha JK! Update soon.
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  10. #10
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Default

    BTW, battle cries? Hahaha...sounds kinda Xena the Warrior Princess-ish to me.
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  11. #11
    Senior Member SkineePanda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    854

    Default

    “Stupid mosquitoes!! Leave me alone!!!”

    It was soon sunset and she grows impatient and annoyed. Her little hands soon grow tired of swatting them away. Her stomach growls in hunger and she is desperately bored. The mosquitoes and the pointy leaves of the bushes irritate her to no end. She decides to get out of the bushes.

    She crawls out slowly until she reaches the footpath and to the belongings that her master dropped off before going off to the village. She found some of their rations and ate some buns. Although her hunger has been satisfied but her boredom and loneliness has not. She looks at the direction of the burning village. Darkness has begun to cover the sky, but the fires continue to burn. At the same time, the moon is getting brighter. It was beautiful to see the lights illuminate the coming night along with the fading horizon. But she sat there alone in the middle of the footpath, not knowing what to do for the time being. She was confused and scared. She looks around constantly, waiting to see her mentor return. For her, the wait was agonizing.

    Meanwhile, Jingyuan cleaned the blood off him to avoid scaring his disciple. He left the bandit’s corpses unburied. They could rot for all he cared. He quickly wrapped his weapon back into the cloth and leaves the scene in great speed.

    While running and leaping through the forest, he looks up and noticed that the sun is setting. He worries. He knows that this disciple of his doesn’t like staying in one place too long and that she often gets too restless. What’s more scary to him is the thought of something happening to her. He had sworn to protect her with his life. Maneuvering through the forest at the coming night proves to be quite a delay nonetheless. The path has dissapeared in the growing darkness and the thick foliage of the forest denies him of any light. Eventually he reached the village gate where he found the footprints. When he reached past the village gate, he notices something different in the village.

    “Where are all the corpses?” he wonders.

    He walks around the village. Fires are all gradually burning out, leaving only charred, smoking remains of houses. But there were no signs of the bodies he saw earlier that were littered all through the area. He wanders around, bewildered. But he caught a scent. A cool breeze brought with it a smell of burning incense. He followed the scent. He reached near the outskirt of the village, where there was an open plain where crops were once grown. But now he saw graves. They were unmarked and there were 50 or so of the burial mounds, around the same number of villagers that he saw slaughtered. All around the graves there was paper money for the dead, scattered in all directions on the ground and 3 sticks of incense on each grave. He went for a closer look to each grave and noticed that they were all obviously freshly dug, but the incense was all nearly burned out. But its still carries a strong smell of incense. “With the incense all burned out, I can’t exactly tell what time they were buried.” This was incredibly strange to him. He left no longer than half an hour ago. “ How can anyone dig all these graves in such a short time?” he thought.

    A chilly, heavy wind gives him a slight shiver and blew the paper money all around him. As the paper money floats in the air and slowly settles down, he thought “Could it be…. no, it’s impossible, how in the world could there be……but how can this happen?” As he ponders on, he felt a sudden tug on his sleeve. A little, pale hand has reached out and grabbed his sleeve. He immediately turns around and looks down.

    “Hahaha, master did I scare you?”

    Jingyuan let out a sigh. “Didn’t I tell you to stay in the bushes?”

    “I was scared” Fuming answered in a innocent voice.

    “I’m sorry” Jingyuan said with a soft smile. “Come lets get something to eat, you must be hungry.”

    “I already ate,” Funming said.

    “But I haven’t,” he said jokingly.

    “Master, what are those behind you?” she asks.

    “Nothing, let’s go.”

    At dawn, the master and disciple set off to their journey. They walked to a little teashop, lonely managed by an elderly man who appeared to be in his 70’s with hair of frosty white. He is a nearly toothless, skinny, old gentleman who struggles with his walking and his back slightly hunched over. He greeted them warmly. He was very friendly to Fuming, always smiling and even gave her pieces of candy to eat. As the old man struggle to their table with the tea and food, Jingyuan gets up to assist him.

    “Old sir, are you the only one working here” Jingyuan asked

    “Oh yes, I have no sons, my wife have long past, and I’m too poor to hire any workers. I have no more family or friends. Besides, many have fled since the wokou has attacked these parts. There’s not much business to do, let alone people to hire” the old man sighed. “I’m simply glad if I see any people at all nowadays”.

    Jingyuan felt a little pity for the old man. Fuming got sad and it clearly showed on her face. The old man saw her and said, “Oh little girl, please don’t be sad for me. I feel so free, I can do anything I want everyday and without a care in the world, I feel very happy”. The old man slightly strokes her face, and Fuming smiled.

    “How long has the wokou been around here?” asked Jingyuan.

    “Oh, they are like the plague, they come and go. But people always come back when the wokou leaves but only to flee again. However this area is more desolate,” said the old man.

    “So no one is around here?” said Jingyuan

    “Well, there is a inn about 10 miles away south from here……that is if they too haven’t left as well. I’m much too old to travel that far to find out anyways. If you want I can tell you directions to that place” the old man replied.

    “That will be great” said Jingyuan.

    “By the way young man, where did you come from, your accent sound like you’re from Guangdong?” asked the old man.

    “Yes, I’m just going home” replied Jingyuan.

    “I see, and who is this lovely little girl right here?” the old man said with a delightful smile as he holds Fuming onto his lap.

    “She’s my daughter.”

    “Oh, where is her mother then” asked the old man as he tickles Fuming and she laughs uncontrollably.

    “She…..she” Jingyuan muttered softly, with his eyes looking down on the table, not being able to give an answer.

    “Oh please forgive me for asking all these questions, I’m just a nosy old man.”

    “It’s okay” Jingyuan said with a depressed tone. The old man notices that he became troubled and decides to change the subject. “Oh, by the way, your daughter, what is her name?” the old man asked with a friendly grin.

    “My name is Fuming!” she answered.

    “Fuming, let me teach you a game. It’s very fun.” As the young and old played a rock catching game, Jingyuan sits there silently, lost in his own deep thoughts. There’s not a single day since that he had not been thinking of her, and that made him suffer to no ends and bounds. This time, after actually talking to a person about her, although just vaguely, it made him very distressed and empty inside.

    “Fuming, let’s stay in a inn for a night” Jingyuan said with a slight, forced smile.

    “Great!!! We won’t have to suffer from the mosquitoes and ants!” but she looks at her new friend, the old man and became sad to leave him.

    “Oh little girl, don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. From now on you be a nice girl and listen to your father.”

    Jingyuan paid the bill along with a sizable extra for the kindly old man. “Oh this is much too kind of you young man, but I can’t take this much.”

    No, please take it…..for her at least” Jingyuan insisted.

    “Well, okay. Thank you then.” The old man crouches down and strokes Fuming’s face. “Little girl, have a good journey.”

    Fuming nods her head sadly. Jingyuan picks her up and walks to the direction of the inn.

    “Byebye little girl, hope to see you soon” the old man said and waved with a smile. Fuming waves back as she’s being carried away on Jingyuan’s back.

    He continues to walk in a brisk, normal manner. Only long after losing the sight of the old man and the teashop in the fading distance did Jingyuan utilize his lightness skill.

  12. #12
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Talking

    Hi SkineePanda,

    So hmm..What's Fuming's real relation to JingYuan? Come on Skinee....update! It's been four months already! Update!
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  13. #13
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    14,053

    Default

    Panda! Get your Skinee behind back here and update please~~! Have you forgotten about your fanfic?
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

Similar Threads

  1. General Father, General Son
    By Jirehmy in forum On Reviews
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-01-16, 05:36 AM
  2. The Legend of the General Who Never Was?
    By cmu_wasabi in forum TVB Series
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 04-04-13, 04:53 AM
  3. General Discussion
    By CrazyLilAngel in forum Actors
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 12-08-10, 11:45 PM
  4. Ratings in General
    By Sword Goddess in forum TVB Series
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-29-06, 10:07 PM
  5. the legend of the general who never was
    By darthmal in forum TVB Series
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-05-06, 10:46 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •