Relationship thread: was it really that bad?

[CrazyT]

I don't really post here often. Only merely observing from the sideline. But I've been a member of this forum for a few years now and still remember back when Relationship threads were allowed. What I want to ask is...for those who still remember...do you think the forum is better now or back then? And why?

Before any moderator decides to close this thread, I just want to say that this is a debatable topic. I know that debating about it won't bring back the Relationship board but the same thing apply to about 99% percent of the topic here. Just wondering how others feel about it.

[christinatran]

I just found Spcnet about 4 or 5 months ago. I was actually looking for links to download chinese movies. I like it here because I get to chat with ppl all over the world.

[trizz251]

i like it cause i get some ideas here for school and writing essay, i found it like during january. Ya i think it's cool we get so much ppl's point of view on here and why is relationship threads not allowed

[Sugar]

I liked the relationship thread. and i do want the general comment and r/s thread. however, i guess too much spam from those too, not to mention some ppl bringing up some gross or offensive threads

[delia_k_00]

I really enjoyed the r/s threads and general comment threads when they were here....i can understand that the r/s thread can get out of control, but it was a good place to share stories and such.

I'm not much of a debate sort of person, so i liked going to the general comments forum and commenting on things here and there...i find i have trouble now, trying to ask for other ppl's opinions. I can't do it here coz i don't really want a debate, but i can't ask elsewhere coz it will be off topic. In a way, having a general comments and r/s threads lets ppl stay on the right track and not stray too far away from the topic.

I think that there have been more rules imposed on the discussions, which does make it more user friendly and prevent ppl posting inappropriate things...but i personally think that the r/s thread was good...just my 2 cents.

[CrazyLilAngel]

I actually liked the R/S forum, but towards the end, it just started getting out of hand. It began to get inappropriate for younger members, and I know SC has to take that into account due to the variety of our members here. And people were just getting insulted left and right that it was so ridiculous. Friends started splitting apart over stupid things said in the forum.

But really, now that the trashy forum's gone, its pointless threads just relocated.

[James Ko]

I totally agree with what CrazyLilAngel that I do enjoy reading up on the R/S thread and lots of interesting topic and knowledge were gain from it but some of the topic were very unapproiate for younger crowd.

I often refer people here (mostly on my favorite download boards or newsgroup) if they wanted to discuss TV series... because I found people here are more friendly about it then in other forums.

How I dealt with closing of the relationship forum was basically either lose the whole SPCNET forum or just a thread... I accept the lost of one thread....

If there is one idea for the forum, I would suggest a CAN forum... where it is not moderated and anything goes... and basically there is a warning that enter with you own risk.

[trizz251]

i don't think they will set up something like that too much minors and r/s are fun and you get advices from it, but it gets kind of offensive when ppl start attacking each other, that is not worth it on a forum

[mich]

Personal experience of modding a GC and relationship forum is that despite all the rules and stuff, ppl just disregard and breach them. U issue warnings or reminders, they get defensive and all the crap spiral out. Instead of checking themselves, they would prolly blame the moderator for being blahblah....

So, I am all for keeping SPCNET the way it is now.

Oh and I think all the actors and actress threads should go too. They are wasting precious bandwidth and kinda overlap into the serial threads.

I remember that we started off as an info sharing site at geocities, not a site for all the oohs-ahs-idol worshipping threads.

[Suet Seung]

Originally posted by mich
Personal experience of modding a GC and relationship forum is that despite all the rules and stuff, ppl just disregard and breach them. U issue warnings or reminders, they get defensive and all the crap spiral out. Instead of checking themselves, they would prolly blame the moderator for being blahblah....

So, I am all for keeping SPCNET the way it is now.

Hmm...Mich, I always thought we had disagreements between us, however, your observation is quite true.

I'm not going to be pointing fingers. Because those who breach the guidelines, know quite well who they are. Just because this is a internet forum, they feel that the rules and guidelines can be forgotten and ignored or that the rules does not apply to them so they don't feel the need to follow them. Then they go cracking jokes about, "oh we can't have fun, we must be serious all the time". Why does following some VERY SIMPLE guidelines and rules have to be seen as something serious, up-tight, controlling, something stripped of freedom, and etc. Haven't you guys thought of common courtesy and politeness, I mean it's not really your forum but yes, you are a part of this forum and it's community but you don't pay the bills for the site and forum to keep them alive and on the net do you?

Basically, when you're in any kind community, everyone likes to be treated with a common courtesy, respect and politeness. With that said, it's doesn't mean you can't have fun AND follow the guidelines too! If you can't follow the guidelines, you'll have a hard time with the admin and my fellow mods. There is no Nazism there, I mean all members have the freedom to post and such but there's a structure and foundation to be followed with that freedom. Picture driving without traffic lights or speed limits, would there be absolutely no accidents or deaths resulting from that?

I don't understand how these guidelines be so simple but like a mosquito bite or so some members feel the need to rebel against them. Jeez, we're not like little kids or very young teenagers who think "oh rules are boring, let's rebel", can't we be mature about it and follow them. I know some of you are old enough to be older than I am, but geez, rebeling against guidelines and rules to be cool or in a bandwagon is SOOOO last century.

It's NOT some cruel and unusual guidelines that are HARD to FOLLOW. It's not liike "Oh you can't breath for the next three hours or you can't post or write anything with vowels. Honestly, if you can't follow such simple guidelines, there are millions of other forums which could cater to your flavor of topics. If SPCNET isn't for you, go to one that you like more.

I don't need to emphasize again how simple these guidelines are do I? It's should be simple as how you breath and not smoke in the non-smoking area. Just being polite and considerate of people, like you do elsewhere. It's just when you be inconsiderate and disregard the rules, those people ruin it for everyone. The admin and mods aren't the party stopper, it's those people who are inconsiderate and breach guidelines.

[mich]

Originally posted by Suet Seung
Hmm...Mich, I always thought we had disagreements between us, however, your observation is quite true.

Ahem...I still think we dont see eye to eye. I just dont see the need for all the brouhaha and whining, crying foul about being victimised blahblah by mods or members...

If there is anything that one feels injusticed it should be done open and void. Anyone here might ocassionally tripped the rules but to be vindictive and spam the forums just to get back at the mods is simply childish, mods who kicks up a big fuss are also a pain in the neck.

Let's just try not to be too personal. Most of the times..comments are directed at the post at the point of time. Bored now, shall take a hiatus. :P

[Suet Seung]

Originally posted by mich
Ahem...I still think we dont see eye to eye. I just dont see the need for all the brouhaha and whining, crying foul about being victimised blahblah by mods or members...

Ah yes, of course not. I'm just merely pointing out that I do agree with what you say here, not everywhere. So feel free to view things differently.

[flyingfox2002]

Hmm, I joined here when the R/S forum was still in existence, but I guess I must've have been paying attn cuz I don't remember what all the fuss is about. I'm sorry I missed it, sounds like lotsa fireworks LOL.

It sounds like topics started to get sexual and personal, and some people got out of hand, so it does sound appropriate for action to have been taken. However, to me "relationship" doesn't have to be about sex, so closing the entire forum may have been drastic. But like I said, I dunno the degree of transgressions, so I just have to assume by SPC's judgement that closing the entire section was necessary.

[James Ko]

I think there were a few reasons why things happen the way it happen. Here are some of the theories

1) Some people got harass to a point that Spcnet need to make changes. One of the changes was to get rid of Relationship forum because there many that pointed it as the source of these problem (personal jokes, comments, flirting etc.) By closing this thread, Spcnet successfully ended harassment (directly anyways). I would list example but those got harassed should rest in peace.

2) Some people (probably those that have relationship with the moderators or directly with Spcnet) who probably got hurt thru the relationship thread by others who mainly post in those area because of the heartbreaks, insults, inside jokes towards them, or thought some of the comments were unacceptable and the sense of losing the control of the forum... choice to close it for personal reason but blame it on the public board for what happen. You notice this when you see many who post a lot in the Relationship and General Thread stop posting when those threads are delete.

3) The owner of the site thought he/she might be losing the control of the Forum... rather then change and evolved from original TV series / Wuxia discussion to a communitee sharing ideas and thoughts as well as TV series / Wuxia discussion. By closing the relationship thread (which was the start... then General Forum, etc. but funny thing is we have added Books and still maintain Sports and Game/anime thread) he/she is able to maintain the site as what it was intended for. TV series/Wuxia discussions site.

4) Spcnet is mean and want to make some of us unhappy so she choose to close the fun threads. Never mess with a women's wrath. This is a great example of what women can do. Remember when we all try to force her to post her pic in one of those post your own pic thread started by I think Ganryu... man where have he been.

5) Age was a huge factor. Maybe someone realize that majority of the posters are minor and with the rises of crazy people online... that use board to contact kids to do some things that I cannot imagine. Closing the Relationship and General comment thread reduce these crazy people from harming kids.

6) The last thing is the mass postings that is going on in the R/S and General comment thread... at the rate it was going... Spcnet need to get a bigger hosting, which means more money from her own pocket since I doubt anyone of us help her with cash flow. You can tell with the closing of the Relationship and General Thread, I have no once experience the board crash except when there was change of the main site.

[junny]

One would think people can't live without relationship threads. Sigh.

[spcnet]

Gee, this whole thing about having a Relationships forum will never RIP will it? I really regret ever opening one up in the first place because I think if I never did, you guys wouldn't know it was gone.

Please stop jumping to conclusions and making assumptions over what I'm thinking. If you're still unclear, just PM me and I will happily give you my reasons. I don't understand why it keeps coming up. Once again, I'll reiterate--and I promise, it's not because I'm out to get any of you that we closed down the Relationships forum. The major reason was that it got offensive and inappropriate and took too much effort to mod. You can only keep warning and banning members so long. I just didn't think I or the moderators should have to deal with taking care of immature posters in a TV series discussion forum. It was a headache that was unnecessary and I really didn't want to think about it after a long day's work and reading about quabbles, name callings, and cries of injustices.

The site finances are doing ok enough from affiliate commissions from yesasia so I'm not worrying about paying for the site anymore.

And Ganryu, and whichever member who is no longer as active, leave for their own reasons--why am I being blamed for it?!

Anyway, moving to Tech Issues since this is forum-specific related.

[mich]

Originally posted by spcnet

And Ganryu, and whichever member who is no longer as active, leave for their own reasons--why am I being blamed for it?!

Dunno why u are taking the blame but that is the general reaction of some ppl.

See...all the cry foul blahblah....Next time, such threads appear, just delete and dont have to respond. Whatever u said or the mods said...u folks are still the big bad wolves...ahahhahahaha.

[James Ko]

I think the reason people still bring up R/S thread is because R/S is part of our lifes... and no matter what we do R/S has some indirect affect on this forum. Heck we are posting that is part of communication that is part of human relation.

Before anyone assume that I want R/S back or assume I am causing trouble. I am not. I mention one name because I am really curious where some of the posters went. I could of list a lot of names. I didn't put any blames on anyone... the previous post I wrote are just some of the theories not facts.

I enjoy the forum we have today. (if not why would I come back). So before anyone start to jump on anyone's side, (again not targeting anyone just a general statement before this get out of hand), lets remember CrazyT started this as a debate not public vote to bring back R/S forum. So this thread should be treated as a debate topic. Since Spcnet moved it to tech forum. It kind of change the purpose of the thread. Therefore no more debate.

[spcnet]

James... no, by moving it to Tech Issues doesn't change the nature--at least that was not my intent. I feel every thread in the forum can be a discussion thread in a sense. Not everything that is a 'debate' goes into Open Debate if there is a more suitable forum for it (i.e. obviously someone opening a wuxia debate topic in Open Debate would be more suitable in the Wuxia forum even though it's a 'debate'. ) In this case, I felt Tech Issues is the more appropriate forum since it's directly about the forum.

I'll stress again, Relationships threads that deal with love problems, boy-girl issues are not welcome at Open Debate. Of course everything's a 'relationship' in some sense and we never said we wanted to ban those topics in that general term.

If you are a member who was around at the time the Relationships forum was around, the forum description for was something like "Talk about love, friends, family and pets". So, if you have a personal problem in life, the Open Debate forum--or this forum here for that matter--really isn't the appropriate place to be posting about it.

I was just half joking about the blame part . I know some members will blame the admin and mods for what happens at the forum. I do believe though that members come and go for their own reasons--maybe it's because they hate the forum or just simply have other things to do--I don't know.

On a side note too, I will seriously apprepriate it if members would not try to do mods jobs for them by pointing out which threads should be moved or closed or deleted. I know some of you are trying to be helpful, but if a moderator feels a thread/post needs attention, he/she will handle it. I trust the mod of that forum's judgement. Stressing too that I'm not pointing to anyone specific and not blaming anyone, just been noticing that it's been happening sometimes.

[Moinllieon]

This reminds me of what Clemenza told Michael Corleone:

"This thing's gotta happen every five years or so...every ten years--helps to get rid of the bad blood."