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Thread: A Happy Hero

  1. #421
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    Kinda fun to see Gu Long mock wuxia authors, like himself. Guo DaLu is like the one of the rare, unlucky characters I know to continuously lose money. The poor guy can't seem to catch a break.

  2. #422
    Senior Member Hoju!'s Avatar
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    Yup. Loved the questions from our own heroes about where the wuxia heroes' money come from. I had always wondered that as a kid.



    --------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 28 – The Way to Making Money
    --------------------------------------------------

    “If that is the case, does that mean we are at a dead end?” Guo DaLu asked with a groan.

    Yan Qi: “Who said that we are at a dead end? People have always made their own roads. As long as you have determination, as long as you are willing to make your way, there will certainly be a road.”

    Guo DaLu: “I understand this principle, and I have said the same thing to others before. Right now, though…” He paused a moment before carrying on, “Right now, I only believe one thing.”

    Yan Qi: “What is that?”

    Guo DaLu: “If, today, we are not able to pay back the money that we owe to people, then today is the day that we are going to go hungry.”



    The world has many good principles. Unfortunately, no matter how good the principle, it still cannot be sold for 9,999 liang of silver. It cannot even be sold for one liang.



    A moment ago, it was one person staring off in thought. Now, there were two. Two people staring off at a loss is even harder to bear than one person. Guo DaLu really could not take it any longer. Jumping to his feet, he paced around in a circle seventeen, eighteen times, before crying out abruptly, “I just remembered a saying.”

    Yan Qi glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “Which saying?”

    Guo DaLu: “A very useful saying.”

    Yan Qi: “What can it be used for?”

    Guo DaLu: “At least it can be used to get us out of our crisis.”

    Yan Qi: “If that is the case, then I want to hear it.”

    Guo DaLu: “ ‘Friends have an honourable obligation to open up riches.’ I am certain you have heard this saying before.”

    Yan Qi: “You want to go find someone to borrow money from them?”

    Guo DaLu: “Not go find ‘someone.’ I want to go find a friend.”

    Yan Qi: “One type of person will have the least friends in the world. Do you know which type of person that is?”

    Guo DaLu: “Which type?”

    Yan Qi: “The type who goes and asks their friends for money.”

    Guo DaLu: “I do not intend on seeking out a lot of friends, just one.”

    Yan Qi: “By the time you have found your friend and opened your mouth to ask for the money, you may discover that you do not even have one friend.”

    Guo DaLu: “But if it were friends like us…”

    Yan Qi: “If it were friends like us, it would not be necessary for you to even open your mouth and ask.”

    Guo DaLu: “So you believe that there are no friends out there that you can ask to borrow money from?”

    Yan Qi: “Not a single one.”

    Guo Dalu: “But I believe that there is one.”

    Yan Qi: “Who?”

    Guo DaLu: “Sour Plum Soup.”

    Yan Qi did not say anything, but his expression darkened.

    Guo DaLu: “I am not saying that you should go ask. I can go. I can be considered to have have helped her before.”

    With an icy smirk, Yan Qi scorned, “Only one type of person would ever ask to borrow money from a woman.”

    Guo DaLu: “What type of person are you talking about?”

    Yan Qi’s voice was frigid. “A fool. Only a fool would believe that a woman would be willing to lend him ten thousand liang.”

    Guo DaLu: “I know that women are a little more petty and stingy than men, but in her eyes, ten thousand liang should not really be anything at all.”

    Yan Qi: “Yes, truly not anything. It is just ten thousand liang, after all.”

    Guo DaLu: “Plus she is not the least bit stingy.”

    Yan Qi: “Even a more magnanimous woman would not lend money to a man.”

    Guo DaLu: “Why?”

    Yan Qi: “Because a woman’s way of thinking is different.”

    Guo DaLu: “How so?”

    In that chilly tone, Yan Qi stated, “Women always believe that any man who is willing to ask for money from a woman is absolutely pathetic. Therefore, a woman who is willing to lend money to a man is just as pathetic.”

    Guo DaLu was speechless for a while. With an unexpected little chuckle, he said, “Really, only women are able to understand their own way of thinking. You are not even a woman.”

    Yan Qi’s face grew stony. “Of course I’m not.”

    Guo DaLu grinned. “So you really do not know either. That is why I still want to give it a try.”

    Yan Qi: “And what if you are snubbed [literally, run into/bump into a nail]?”

    Sighing, Guo DaLu answered, “Even if I do, it will be a stone nail. That is at least better than colliding with other people’s iron nails.” He gave an unexpected little chuckle and joked quietly, “If there were some gold or silver nails in the world, I would rather collide with them.”

    All of a sudden, Yan Qi’s eyes lit up as he leapt to his feet and shouted, “You have finally said something that is actually useful.”

    This time, though, Guo DaLu actually paused a moment in surprise before asking hesitantly, “What did I say? How is it useful?”

    Yan Qi: “Not only is that sentence actually useful, it really is worth some money too.”

    Guo DaLu was even more perplexed.

    Scooping up seven or eight pebbles from the ground, Yan Qi asked him, “Were you aware that my skill with projectile weapons is not bad?”

    Guo DaLu shook his head. “Nope. You have never used any projectile weapons on me.”

    Yan Qi: “If I used projectile weapons against you, would you be able to catch them?”

    Guo DaLu: “Not necessarily.”

    Yan Qi: “Would you like to give it a try and see?”

    Guo DaLu: “No.”

    Yan Qi: “Well, even if you do not want to, you still have to. You have no choice.” Using the technique of “Rain of Blossoms Fills the Sky,” without warning, the pebbles in his hands were thrown straight at Guo DaLu. They were fired fiercely, without the least bit of civility.

  3. #423
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    maybe they are going to perform for money... like poor martial art masters???

    Thx for the update. Hoju!!

  4. #424
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    Actually heroes in Jiang Hu are usually poor and don't really care for money...

    The money situation is touched upon a few times in JY novels though.

  5. #425
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    Chapter 28 continued....
    --------------------------------------------------

    In the art of projectile weapons, there was one technique, “Rain of Blossoms Fills the Sky,” that nearly everyone in jianghu knew about or had heard of. However, the number of people who had seen this technique was not many, and even less could actually execute it. Guo DaLu had now seen it. Not only was Yan Qi able to execute this technique, he was also really quite good.

    Like a torrential rain, seven, eight pebbles went shooting over towards Guo DaLu. He spun his body and sidestepped, dodging two or three of the rocks and catching another three or four in his outstretched hand. Still, though, one or two of them managed to make contact with his body, hitting him so hard that he yelped loudly. Glaring at Yan Qi, he yelled, “What did you mean by that?”

    Yan Qi grinned at him. “No real reason. I just want you to make a few thousand liang of silver and bring it back.”

    Guo DaLu was taken aback for a minute. “How am I going to make all this money?”

    “Your hands.” Yan Qi gave a little laugh before adding, “Your hands are already very agile. Not many people are even able to catch four of my projectile weapons. You only need to practice a few more times and then, making a few thousand silver liang will be as easy as turning over your palm.”

    Guo DaLu stared at his own hands. The more he stared, the more confused he became. He honestly could not see how that pair of hands could bring in several thousand liang. Now, if someone wanted those hands to lose several thousand liang, that would truly be as easy as turning over his palm. He had lost a few thousand before in a single dice throw.

    Yan Qi was picking up stones again, and Guo DaLu could not help asking, “So what do you actually want me to do? Throw dice and scam people’s money?”

    Yan Qi guffawed, “Whose money do you think you could scam with your dice throwing? You are the King of Losers.”

    Guo DaLu: “How are you expecting the King of Losers to win, then?”

    Yan Qi: “As long as you are able to catch every one of my projectile weapons in one go, then I guarantee that you will be able to win.”

    Guo DaLu: “What if I still lose? What do I have that I can lose to other people?”

    Sighing, Yan Qi answered, “If you still lose this time, then I’m afraid you are going to have to lose your life.”

    A cynical grin was on Guo DaLu’s face as he said, “It seems, anyways, that all I have to lose is my life.”

    Yan Qi: “That is why you must find some way to catch all my weapons. If you cannot catch them with your hands and need to use your mouth, then make sure you bite onto them securely.”

    To catch projectile weapons thrown using the “Rain of Blossoms Fills the Sky” technique was not an easy feat. Guo DaLu had already gone through three attempts, and his body had endured seven hits that, although they had not been too hard, still left his bones feeling sore.

    This time, Yan Qi did not even show a hint of mercy as he picked up stones from all over on the ground. Guo DaLu could only stand off to the side and watch in amazement. Up until this point in time, he still could not figure out what it was that Yan Qi was plotting. If it had been any other person in his place, they probably would have quit already. But he trusted Yan Qi. He believed that, even if all the people in the world wanted to give him a hard time, in no way would Yan Qi support them. There were not many pebbles in the courtyard. Yan Qi was already holding a handful, but he still felt that it was not enough and jogged over to gather more along the wall. Rubbing the spot on his shoulder that was achy and tingling from being struck, Guo DaLu could not help exhaling a lengthy sigh. He really was not confident that he could catch all those projectile weapons at once.

    The breeze carried with it the fragrance of flowers. The peach blossoms on the other side were ready to bloom soon. Guo DaLu lifted up his head. All of a sudden, he noticed Wang Dong sitting by the window and gesturing at him. Waiting until Yan Qi had turned his back to him to pick up some more pebbles, Guo DaLu dashed over. The two of them, one on the inside and the other on the outside of the window, gestured and waved with their arms and legs, all the while whispering away about something that no one else knew.

    Yan Qi could only wait. After waiting for a long while, he finally saw Guo DaLu walk back over nonchalantly, his hands behind his back and a smug expression on his face. Wang Dong still sat by the window, facing over towards them. He was smiling, a very mysterious sort of smile. Unable to contain himself, Yan Qi called out, “Wei! What are you two talking about?”

    “Which two are you referring to?” Guo DaLu asked.

    Yan Qi: “You and Wang Dong.”

    “Oh, you mean Wang Dong,” Guo DaLu said with a feigned realization. “He told me to tell you that he wants to eat spareribs simmered with turnips tonight.”

    Anyone could tell that he was fibbing. It was as if there was a sign hanging from Guo DaLu’s face whenever he was lying. Yan Qi glowered at him and said icily, “The one who is lying should be careful that his teeth are going to get knocked out.”

    Grinning, Guo DaLu invited, “Come try.”

    Yan Qi: “Fine.”

    This time, he not only threw a lot more stones, he also threw them a lot harder. The greater the strength behind the throw, the faster the stones hurtled toward Guo DaLu. With a spin of his body, two shiny silver objects that looked similar to the nets with handles that children used to catch tadpoles suddenly appeared in Guo DaLu’s hands. More than ten pebbles shot rapidly toward him, but nearly all of them got scooped like tadpoles into the nets. At most, only two or three managed to escape. Guo DaLu had easily dodged all of them.

    This time, even Yan Qi’s eyes seemed to bulge out a bit in astonishment. Wide-eyed, he asked, “What sort of gadget are those?”

    Guo DaLu beamed, “What do you think of these two devices? Are you awed or not?”

    Yan Qi: “Did Wang Laoda teach this to you just now?”

    With a look that showed he was immensely pleased with himself, Guo DaLu replied, “Even if he taught me, it still required someone smart and talented
    like me to actually learn it.”

    The corner of Yan Qi’s mouth twitched in amusement. “Since when did you become so smart?”

    “I never was dense to begin with,” Guo DaLu chuckled. “As long as it is an amusing trick, I will learn it perfectly the instant I am taught.”

    Yan Qi stretched out his palm. “Let me see.”

    Guo DaLu quickly pulled his hands behind his back. “Can’t.”

    Yan Qi: “Why can’t you?”

    Guo DaLu: “Wang Laoda said that the secret must not be divulged.”

    Yan Qi: “Fine. Let’s see you try again.” His motions were even faster and more remarkable this time. More than ten small stones suddenly seemed to come alive, like they had sprouted wings and grown eyes. They seemed to specifically seek out the weakest places on Guo DaLu’s body to hit.

    But the two nets in Guo Dalu’s hands appeared to be waiting for them. This time, only one of the stones managed to slip by the nets. With loud laughs of delight, Guo DaLu shouted, “You should be in awe of me now.”

    Yan Qi stared at him until, at last, his lips curled up into a smile also. “It seems you really are not dense.”

    Even more proud of himself, Guo DaLu told him, “To be honest, I never really put much effort into practicing techniques for catching projectile weapons only because… only because… Can you guess what the reason is?”

    Yan Qi: “Nope.”

    Guo DaLu boasted, “It was because my pair of hands is naturally faster than other people’s and my eyes are sharper also, so I never really needed to learn.”

    Yan Qi added nonchalantly, “And so that is why you suffered badly at the hands of Big Centipede.”

    Guo DaLu’s face did not even turn pink. A smile was still on his lips as he replied, “That does not count. Tell him to come try now.” With a sparkle in his eyes, he chuckled, “I have heard that the brave men of jianghu all have a mighty-sounding title. I have thought of one now for myself that is rather befitting.”

    Yan Qi: “What sort of title?”

    Guo DaLu: “Thousand-Armed Buddha, Untouchable Phantom’s Shadow, the Swift-Handed Great Drunken Hero.”

    Yan Qi could not stop himself from bursting out into giggles. “I have a title for you as well that is even more suitable.”

    Guo DaLu: “Let’s hear it.”

    Yan Qi: “Clumsy Hands, Clumsy Feet, Crawls Around Drunken, King of Losers, the Great Dim-Witted Bird. Don’t you think that this title is rather befitting?”



    End of Chapter 28
    Last edited by Hoju!; 05-06-08 at 09:04 AM. Reason: added the word "not"

  6. #426
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    nice one hoju....love the exchange between them....thnx and kisses hoju

  7. #427
    Senior Member eliza bennet's Avatar
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    Thank you Hoju! These love birds should really come clear (on an unrelated note, their relationship reminds of Korean Drama Coffee Prince)

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    bahahaha

    clumsy hands, clumsy feet, crawls around drunen, king of losers, the great dim-witted bird...


    bahahahahah



    thanks Hoju! xD

  9. #429
    Senior Member Hoju!'s Avatar
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    --------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 29 – Gold and Face
    --------------------------------------------------

    This house’s front door opened out to the south, and its pair of ringed door knockers glinted in the sunlight. Guo DaLu spotted those rings the instant he entered the lane. A long time passed, yet his eyes were still fixed on them, as if he had never before seen ringed door knockers in his life. Actually, he very rarely in his life had the chance to see something so peculiar.



    Every household had a front door; every front door had ringed door knockers. This point was not the least bit peculiar. What was peculiar, though, was the door knockers on this house’s front door were actually made of gold.

    All the while that Guo DaLu had been fixated by the door knockers, Yan Qi had been watching him. Lately, there almost seemed to be a rope around these two that connected them together. Wherever Guo DaLu was, Yan Qi would be there also. After a long time, Guo DaLu finally exhaled and commented, “This family must be the new-rich.”

    Yan Qi blinked at him curiously. “The new-rich?”

    Guo DaLu: “Only the new-rich would do something like this.”

    Yan Qi: “Something like what?”

    Guo DaLu: “Something that makes people laugh so hard that their front teeth fall out.”

    Yan Qi: “You are wrong.”

    Guo DaLu: “How am I wrong?”

    Yan Qi: “This family is not only not ‘new-rich’ but moreover, they are, in fact, one of the few large, influential families of the martial society.”

    Guo DaLu: “Oh?”

    “It may be very tacky and funny-looking to have ring door knockers made from gold, but when he does it, no one will find it the least bit funny,” Yan Qi told him.

    “I find it very funny,” Guo DaLu argued.

    Yan Qi: “That is only because you do not know who he is.”

    Guo DaLu: “I know.”

    Yan Qi: “You honestly know?”

    Guo DaLu: “He is a person, a person who reeks of the stink of copper, whose wealth is massive but his manner is crude, and who is worried that other people do not know that he has lots of money. I do not know this person, nor do I want to befriend him. I want nothing to do with anything that people of this sort choose to do.”

    Yan Qi grinned at him. “But unfortunately, someone of this sort now has something to do with you?”

    “What does he have to do with me?” Guo DaLu huffed. “He is not one of my loaners.”

    Yan Qi chuckled, “We are not so poor that we have reached that extent.”

    Guo DaLu breathed a sigh of relief. “So, don’t tell me that you made me travel for half a day and hurry to this place just to see this pair of door knockers.”

    Yan Qi: “Not quite.”

    A worried expression started to come over Guo DaLu again as he stared Yan Qi. “I know the idea you have could not possibly be a nice one. That is why you have not been willing to be frank and just say it out.”

    Letting out an amused laugh, Yan Qi reassured him, “Don’t worry. In any case, I will not sell you to these people. I would not want to part with you.” His face suddenly seemed to redden.

    Guo DaLu appeared to grow even more concerned. “If someone has not done something to make his conscience feel guilty, he would not blush.”

    Yan Qi: “Who is blushing?”

    Guo DaLu: “You.”

    Yan Qi turned his head away quickly. “I think there is something wrong with your vision.”

    Guo DaLu’s eyes lit up abruptly, and he blurted, “I understand now.”

    Yan Qi: “What do you understand?”

    Guo DaLu: “It must be that this family has a daughter who is an old maid. You want me to use the ‘handsome man ploy.’ ”

    A “pfft” slipped out and Yan Qi could not stop himself from giggling. “You think that you are very handsome?”

    Guo DaLu: “Maybe not exceedingly handsome, but I am precisely the type of man a woman would fancy the instant she laid eyes on him.”

    “You are like a horse that does not know its face is long,” Yan Qi said with a sigh.

    Guo DaLu exhaled a sigh as well as he remarked, “It is a pity that you are not a woman, otherwise you would definitely fancy me, too.”

    Yan Qi’s cheeks seemed to grow pink again, but he purposely drew his face into a scowl. “If I was a woman, right now, I would give you a solid kick straight into the gutter.”

    Guo DaLu: “No matter what you say, I am not going to fall into your trick.”

    Yan Qi: “Fall into what trick?”

    Guo DaLu: “That old maid must be ugly and weird and maybe even has a face covered in pockmarks, so that is why she still is not married. Even if her dowry is eight hundred silver liang, you should give up on any hope that I would take her as my wife.”

    Throwing a sideways glare at him, Yan Qi asked icily, “What if she is both young and beautiful?”

    Grinning widely, Guo DaLu answered, “Then that can be discussed. You are my good friends after all. For my friends, I am willing to do anything.”

    Yan Qi: “Right now, I only want you to do one thing. Would you be willing or not?”

    Guo DaLu: “Go ahead and say it.”

    Yan Qi: “I just want you to go look at your own face’s reflection in the gutter, then go buy a stinky tofu and smash your head into it.”

    The lane they were in was quite wide, and suddenly, a large carriage drawn by four horses came tearing into it. But even though the street was wide, if Guo DaLu and Yan Qi had not skirted out of the way quickly, they would still have been struck. Guo DaLu glowered angrily at the carriage that had gone galloping by, and grumbled resentfully, “This street does not belong solely to him. Based on what right does he get to barge and rampage about as he please?”

    Yan Qi: “Based on only one point.”

    Guo DaLu: “Which point?”

    Yan Qi: “Based on the fact that this lane does belong solely to him.” Guo DaLu was taken aback for an instant. Only then did he notice that there really was only one household in the lane.

    The carriage had pulled to a stop outside the door. From within what had been a quiet entryway, more than ten people suddenly came rushing out with hurried footsteps. With the fastest speed possible, a few of them unsaddled the horses that had been pulling the carriage. The remaining ones shoved the carriage onto the carriageway beside the stone steps, then pushed it back inside.

    A head protruded out briefly from the within the carriage window and cast a glance towards Guo DaLu and Yan Qi. Guo DaLu did not have a chance to catch a clear view of the person’s face. The only impression he had was that this person’s eyes seemed to be particularly bright compared to normal people. “From the looks of it, it seems like Jin DaShuai [Commander Jin] has returned,” Yan Qi commented.

  10. #430
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    hahahaha

    yea ya, i would do anything for my good friends!! (but only if she is young n pretty)

    hahahaha

  11. #431
    Senior Member patricia n's Avatar
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    loving the translation, especially the bickering between guo and yan...very cute indeed.

    “It must be that this family has a daughter who is an old maid. You want me to use the ‘handsome man ploy.’ ”

    “It is a pity that you are not a woman, otherwise you would definitely fancy me, too.”


    so cute.
    if you have the time and enthusiasm, please join in on the new and fabulous wuxia rpg fic /rpg discussion. (<--- click here)

  12. #432
    Senior Member Hoju!'s Avatar
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    So, what is Yan Qi up to?



    Chapter 29 continued.....
    --------------------------------------------------

    “From the looks of it, it seems like Jin DaShuai [Commander Jin] has returned,” Yan Qi commented.

    Guo DaLu: “Who is Commander Jin?”

    Yan Qi: “He is the one whom you said has massive wealth but a crude manner.”

    Guo DaLu: “And, sure enough, my words were not wrong.” He gave a cool smirk. “Commander Jin. You only need to hear his name and you already know what kind of person he is.”

    Yan Qi: “I do not see how wealthy people cannot be good people.”

    Guo DaLu: “But on what basis is he allowed to call himself ‘commander?’ ”

    Yan Qi: “Number one: because he carries himself with the air of a commander. Number two: because other people like to call him commander.”

    Guo DaLu: “It appears that you have a high regard for him.”

    Yan Qi: “Am I allowed to have a high regard for him?”

    Guo DaLu: “Yes, of course you are. But am I allowed to not have a high regard for him?”

    Yan Qi: “No.”

    Guo DaLu: “Why not?”

    Yan Qi: “Haven’t you always thought highly of yourself?”

    Guo DaLu: “Heh heh.”

    Yan Qi: “So you should also think highly of him. You two are basically the same type of person – very great-hearted and very ‘dalu’ [straightforward, carefree, does not take things to heart, etc]. ”

    Guo DaLu: “Heh heh.”

    Yan Qi: “What is ‘heh heh’ supposed to mean?”

    Guo DaLu: “Heh heh means that I do not believe it.”

    Yan Qi: “When you see him, you will have to believe it.”

    Guo DaLu: “I never wanted to see him.”

    Yan Qi: “But you do not have a choice. You must see him.”

    Guo DaLu: “Why?”

    Yan Qi: “Because if you do not see him, then you are going to have to face the expressions of the people you owe money to.” What is worse to look at than the face of the people you are in debt to?

    Guo DaLu’s brow creased together as his thoughts turned to these people. “You….. you couldn’t possibly want me to open my mouth and ask to borrow money from a person that I do not even know?”

    Yan Qi: “I know that the skin on your face is not quite that thick yet.”

    Guo DaLu: “Then why are you telling me to go see him?”

    In a low tone, Yan Qi explained, “Wulin has many strange people, for instance, that Sour Plum Soup’s father.”

    “Are you referring to the lao qianbei [(respectfully) old elder/senior] who is called ‘The Stone God’?”

    Yan Qi nodded. “Do you know how the name ‘Stone God’ came about?”

    Guo DaLu: “It is because he uses weapons of stone, and he uses them very proficiently.”

    “Correct answer.” Yan Qi carried on, “Stone tools and weapons were used by people of ancient times because at the time, humankind had not yet discovered how to smelt iron and produce steel. Nowadays, hundreds and thousands of bizarre weapons exist, but yet he still prefers to use those awkward and heavy stone weapons. Isn’t he a strange character?”

    Guo DaLu: “Yes, but… what does he have to do with Commander Jin?”

    Yan Qi: “Commander Jin is the same. He, too, is a strange character, and the weapons he uses are unusual also.”

    Guo DaLu: “What weapons does he use?”

    Yan Qi: “He will only use ones made of gold, and furthermore, they must be pure gold.”

    Guo DaLu’s eyes were blinking now. He appeared to be starting to comprehend what Yan Qi was intending.

    Yan Qi: “The weapon he is most adept in using is his Golden Bow, Godly Pellets. The pellets are fired in succession. In a single assault, a total of twenty-one of them will be shot out. Very few people in jianghu are able to evade this attack.”

    Guo DaLu: “The pellets are also made of gold?”

    Yan Qi: “Pure gold.”

    Guo DaLu: “You want me to somehow get into a fight with him, catch his gold pellets, and bring them back to pay the bills?”

    With a wide smile on his face, Yan Qi replied, “Supposedly, each one of his gold pellets weighs several liang, and in addition, each attack will launch twenty-one of them. You only need to be able to catch three or four of these attacks and then you will not need to face the expressions of all your creditors.”

    Shaking his head adamantly, Guo DaLu objected, “I will not do it. I will absolutely not do something like that.”

    Yan Qi: “Why?”

    Guo DaLu: “There is no ‘why.’ Won’t do it means won’t do it.”

    There was a twinkle in Yan Qi’s eyes as he gave an offhand chuckle. “Oh….. I get it. You are scared…”

    “What would I be scared of?” Guo DaLu snapped loudly.

    In a casual tone, Yan Qi answered, “Of course you are not scared of him. You are just afraid of getting fat.”

    Guo DaLu was taken aback by this, and he repeated, “Getting fat?”

    Yan Qi: “Gold may be softer than iron, but each pellet weighs five or six liang, and if it hits you, it would still hurt quite a bit.”

    Guo DaLu: “Hmph.”

    Yan Qi: “Once it hurts, it will swell up; once it swells, you will look fat, and it does not look nice when you look fat.” He let out another nonchalant laugh. “So even if you do not go, I will not blame you. If you suddenly get fat, I would be worried that people would say that you took some sort of pig fattening drug anyway.”

    Guo DaLu glared at him for a long time. Scowling, he grumbled, “Funny. So frigging funny!”

    Yan Qi: “If a person suddenly swelled up, then that would really look funny.” Guo DaLu threw another angry stare at him before turning his head and walking away. Yan Qi grabbed him and held him back. “Where are you going?”

    “I am too thin from being starved lately,” Guo DaLu replied coldly. “I should have been thinking of ways to get fat anyways.”

    Yan Qi’s face broke into a sweet smile. “Don’t tell me you are planning on just barging inside and picking a fight.”

    Guo DaLu: “How else can I get him to fight me? Do I have to get on my knees and beg him?”

    “Even if you get on your knees and beg, he still may not fight,” Yan Qi told him with a laugh.

    Guo DaLu: “Oh?”

    Grinning, Yan Qi explained, “After all, twenty-one pellets are worth quite a bit of money. He has not lost his mind so why would he use them on just any random person? Plus, if by chance he does kill someone, then that would not be very fun at all.”

    Guo DaLu nearly screamed with frustration. “You were the one who was forcing me to go just a moment ago. Now, the person stopping me from going is also you. What trick are you trying to play?”

    Yan Qi: “It is not that I do not want you to go. It is just that, if you want to pick a fight with Commander Jin, you have to have a plan.”

    Guo DaLu: “What sort of plan?”

    Yan Qi: “Think about it: what sort of person is able to force Commander Jin to make a move?”

    Guo DaLu: “I cannot think of any, nor can I be bothered to think about it.”

    Yan Qi: “Only two types of people.”

    Guo DaLu: “Which two?”

    Yan Qi: “The first type would obviously be his enemies. If his enemies came knocking on the door, of course he would strike out immediately. Unfortunately, though, there is not a single bit of enmity between the two of you.” He heaved a long sigh. There was a look on his face that seemed as if he was filled with regret over this point.

    A dark cloud covered Guo DaLu’s face as he muttered, “So do you want me to go steal his wife from him to create some enmity between us first?”

    Yan Qi giggled, “Supposedly, his wife is fat and ugly and what’s more, she is a tigress. If you really do take her away, he may actually be grateful to you.”

    Guo DaLu: “Ha ha. Very funny.”

    Yan Qi: “Fortunately, aside from that, there is another method.”

    Guo DaLu: “Humph!”

    Yan Qi: “In wulin, no one is ever willing to bow their heads and show weakness to another person. And so, if a person seeks him out in a forthright and honourable manner and challenges him to a contest of martial arts, he will have no choice but to fight.” He reached unexpectedly into his garments and pulled out a bright red card [bai tie; a card that pays one’s respects when you request to see a person] and said charmingly, “But of course, this person has to have a name for himself, for example, someone like you, Clumsy Hands, Clumsy Feet, Crawls Around Drunken, King of Losers, the Great Dim-Witted Bird…. Do you agree?”



    A card, entirely red in color and very elegant-looking. Written on it, in a neat script, was a very resounding name: “Thousand-Armed Buddha, Untouchable Phantom’s Shadow, the Swift-Handed Great Drunken Hero, Guo DaLu respectfully pays a visit.”

    ********************

  13. #433
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    haha

    sometimes the only worth while comment is a good laugh! =)

    Thanks Hoju! =))

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    Is this book better then legendary siblings ?
    is this Gu Longs best book ?

  15. #435
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    Chapter 29 continued.....
    --------------------------------------------------

    ********************

    The doorkeeper of the Jin family mansion was already quite old, and his entire face radiated the look of a sly, old fiend. After accepting the card, he had glanced over it, and not even a trace of astonishment had crossed over his face. He merely asked unenthusiastically, “And where may this Great Hero Guo be right now?”

    Guo DaLu: “He is right here.”

    Only then did the old doorkeeper bother to lift his head and glanced over Guo DaLu a couple of times. “So you, sir, are Guo Daxia [Great Hero Guo]. My ignorance, my ignorance.”

    Guo DaLu: “Hmph.”

    The old doorkeeper stared at him with a look where his skin seemed to smile but the facial muscles did not smile [phony smile] and laughed drily, “Could it be that Great Hero Guo, you are here to challenge our master to a contest in the art of projectile weapons?”

    “How did you know?” Guo DaLu blurted in surprise.

    The old doorkeeper smiled like an old fox as he answered in a detached tone, “Each month, there are always a few ‘great heroes’ who come here. If I still did not know by now what you sir are here for, then that would truly be strange.”

    With a serious look on his face, Guo DaLu instructed, “If you already knew, then why have you not sent word that I am here?”

    Assessing him up and down a few more times with his eyes, the old doorkeeper remarked, “It appears that Great Hero Guo is not drunk yet today?”

    Guo DaLu replied coldly, “The Great Drunken Hero does not necessarily have to be drunk every day.”

    Old doorkeeper: “Then I would advise Great Hero Guo that it would be best if you turn around and go back.”

    Guo DaLu: “Why?”

    That smile on the old doorkeeper’s face became even more infuriating as he said unemotionally, “Because the number of ‘great heroes’ who come here is really too large. Our master said that he grows dizzy the instant he sees a great hero. He had instructed us in the past that he will see any person. Even bastards, bandits, and pickpockets are all allowed to be invited inside, but as for ‘great heroes’… heh heh… he absolutely refuses to see any one of them.”



    The card was back in Yan Qi’s hand again.

    Guo DaLu’s entire face was red with fury. “This was all your brilliant idea. Never in my life have I been so humiliated before. And especially that old fox! It was as if he views me as a thief. His entire face has that skin-smiles-but-the-muscles-don’t-smile look that just maddens me to death.”

    Yan Qi blinked at him. “Why didn’t you slap him a couple of times?”

    Guo DaLu: “Because I am a thief to begin with. My conscience is guilty. The fact that he did not give me a couple of slaps is already very courteous of him. How could I still have the nerve to beat him up?”

    Yan Qi laughed in reply. Naturally, he was much more pleasant to look at than the old doorkeeper. Once Guo DaLu saw him laugh, his anger seemed to subside a little bit. “So the face on your skin actually is not that thick. It is even slightly thinner than a city wall,” Yan Qi giggled.

    Letting out a sigh, Guo DaLu said with a bitter smile on his face, “That’s why all I want to do right now is hurry away from here, the faster the better.”

    But Yan Qi pulled him back again. “What is your hurry? I still have another plan.”

    Guo DaLu looked terrified. With an anguished expression, he groaned, “Is it possible for you to not offer any more ideas?”

    Yan Qi: “No.”

    Covering his ears with his hands, Guo DaLu whimpered, “Then is it possible for me not to listen?”

    Yan Qi: “No.” Seizing Guo DaLu’s hands, he yanked them off his ears, and chortled, “This plan is even better than the last one. You have to listen.”

    There was an agonized smile on Guo DaLu’s face. “Your not-so-good idea is already quickly making lose all the face I ever had. I don’t think I could handle this new great idea of yours.”

    Yan Qi: “You really think that this whole situation is very humiliating?”

    Guo DaLu could only sigh.

    Yan Qi: “Let me ask you: if Big Centipede was using projectile weapons to attack you and you caught them, would you give them back to him?”

    Guo DaLu: “I am not crazy. Why would I give them back to him? For him to use them on me again?”

    Yan Qi: “That’s exactly correct.”

    Guo DaLu: “What is exactly correct?”

    Yan Qi: “If he used projectile weapons to attack us and we were able to catch them, that would all be a result of our own skill and ability, correct?”

    Guo DaLu: “Yes.”

    Yan Qi: “When a person earns money through his own abilities, there is nothing shameful or humiliating about that, correct?”

    Guo DaLu: “Yes.”

    Yan Qi: “How many points do we have now which are correct?”

    Guo DaLu: “Three.”

    Yan Qi: “So do you have anything else you would like to say?”

    Guo DaLu: “No.”

    Yan Qi: “Then would you still like to hear my idea or not?”

    With another sigh and a pained smile, Guo DaLu answered, “I am simply dying to hear it.”



    In reality, it is very humiliating to buy things on credit while knowing perfectly well that you have no money to pay back, yet Guo DaLu still forced himself to do it. He had always been a person who needed to save face. Why, then, would he do something like that?

    Naturally, it was for his friends. If, within a lifetime, a person is able to befriend someone who is willing to lose face for him, then even if he should die, his life would have been worthwhile already.



    End of Chapter 29
    Last edited by Hoju!; 05-12-08 at 01:21 AM.

  16. #436
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    Thank you Hoju

  17. #437
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    ------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 30 – The Old Fox and the Great Drunken Hero
    ------------------------------------------------------------

    Guo DaLu really did not enjoy swearing and cursing, nor did he really know how to insult people, but his voice was extremely loud. As he stood before the front door of the Jin mansion hurling insults, even Yan Qi, who was outside of the lane, could hear him clearly.

    A large white poplar tree grew near the entrance to the lane, and beneath the tree was a stone block. Yan Qi was standing on that stone block listening to Guo DaLu. A look of appreciation covered his face, as if he was listening to a famous actor singing in an opera. That was because he was not the person Guo DaLu was cursing; Guo DaLu was insulting Commander Jin.

    “You, surnamed Jin! You should be a human being. Why are you hiding away inside your house like a frightened turtle hiding its head? What are you afraid of? Could it be that your nose was knocked crooked by someone and you do not dare show your face to others now?”

    The more Yan Qi listened, the more proud he felt because he was the one who taught Guo DaLu to say all those things.

    “Since Commander Jin refuses to see you, then you will stand in front of his door and insult him until he does come out.”

    This tactic was called “battle through verbal abuse.” It was actually an age old battle strategy that was, in fact, usually very effective. In a situation where two armies were facing off, if one stood firm and refused to come out, the other army would send someone out to do “battle through verbal abuse.” This person would mock and ridicule the opponent until they could bear it no longer and finally came out to do battle head on, at which point, the ‘battle through verbal abuse’ would be considered a success. Reportedly, Zhuge Liang had insulted Cao Cao in the same manner[12] .

    At first, Guo DaLu had not been willing to cooperate with the plan, but Yan Qi’s one sentence finally convinced him: “Even Mister Zhuge could use this type of strategy; why can’t you?” This was actually a type of battle strategy, not something a scoundrel would do. So, off Guo DaLu went to throw insults, and he did so heartily. As long as Commander Jin heard his curses, then it would truly be a strange thing if he did not come out.



    Strange things occur every year.

    When Guo DaLu’s voice was bellowing insults, even people three streets away could hear him. But no hint of activity came through the front door of the Jin mansion. Could Commander Jin be deaf? His hollering had not caused anyone to come out yet before his impatience first took over. He had already cycled through several times the words that Yan Qi had taught him. The people inside were not sick of listening to them, but he was already sick of yelling them. He wanted to think of some new and fresh insults to shout, yet sadly, he could not think of any.

    At that moment, that sly, old doorkeeper sauntered out leisurely carrying a chair in his arms – a very comfortable wicker chair. The old fox actually went and placed the chair right in front of Guo DaLu. As he set it down lightly, his face carried on it that skin-smiles-but-the-muscles-don’t-smile look but not even a trace of anger.

    Guo DaLu was taken aback, and he could not help asking, “What are you doing with that?”

    The old doorkeeper smirked, “Our household’s master specifically instructed me to deliver this to you.”

    Guo DaLu: “Has he heard me insult him or not?”

    Old doorkeeper: “Even though our master’s age is no longer young, his ears have not yet gone deaf.”

    Guo DaLu: “What does he mean by having you deliver this chair to me?”

    Old doorkeeper: “He is concerned that Great Hero Guo is overly tired from shouting, and therefore, invites Great Hero Guo to sit while you continue with your yelling. He also said, should Great Hero Guo you grow thirsty from your efforts, you only need to order me. Whether it be tea or wine that you request, I will immediately bring it to you.” He sneered again before continuing, “Although many great heroes have come to this place, none of them have cursed as superbly as Great Hero Guo, so our master hopes that Great Hero Guo will continue cursing for a while longer. If you could actually shout your insults a little louder, that would be even better.”

    Dazed, Guo DaLu stared at that wicker chair for half a day. Without saying a word, he turned his head and left.

    Behind him, the old doorkeeper was still laughing loudly as he called out after him, “Great Hero Guo, you are leaving? Pardon me for not seeing you out. If you have time in the future, please feel free to come back whenever you would like. We not only have tea and wine here but also medicines to treat laryngitis.”



    Guo DaLu was so maddened that his nose was quickly going to become crooked. Yan Qi looked at him, shaking his head as he chided, “I told you to go provoke people, and instead, you come back provoked half to death. Why put yourself through that?”

    Guo DaLu fumed hatefully, “If you saw that old fox’s face, I would be surprised if he did not infuriate you to death.”

    Yan Qi: “No matter what he says, just treat it as bull***t and then you won’t get angry, right?”

    Guo DaLu: “It was more like no matter what I said, he treated it as bull***t.”

    Yan Qi blinked in surprise. “Did he really tell you that you were saying bull***t?”

    Guo DaLu: “Even though he did not say it out, the look on his face was even more hateful than if he had.”

    Yan Qi: “And you could actually stand it?”

    Guo DaLu: “Even if I couldn’t, I still had to.”

    Yan Qi: “Why?”

    Guo DaLu: “Because I was saying bull***t to begin with.” Yan Qi laughed. Naturally, he was much more pleasant to the eyes than the old doorkeeper, but it seemed that he was no longer as nice to look at as before. Guo DaLu stared at him with a scowl on his face. “How many other brilliant ideas do you actually have? You might as well just say them all out at once.”

    Yan Qi: “You still want to listen?”

    Guo DaLu: “I might as well listen to them. With each one I listen to, that is one down.”

    Out of the blue, Yan Qi exhaled a breath and smiled bitterly. “But alas, I do not have any ideas either.”

    Guo DaLu replied sarcastically, “How could a genius like you suddenly have no ideas?”

    Sighing, Yan Qi said, “You said that doorkeeper is a sly, old fox. In my opinion, though, Commander Jin is the real sly, old fox.”

    Guo DaLu’s tone was chilly. “Didn’t you say that he is always very greathearted and generous?”

    Yan Qi: “When he really does agree to enter into a fight, if he is not able to hit you, then he must compensate you with several hundred liang of gold. Even if he injures you, he will give you several hundred liang of silver to cover your medical expenses.” With another sigh, Yan Qi remarked, “I think Commander Jin must have been fooled a few times lately and has learned some lessons, so he finally understands this theory. If that is the case, why would he be willing to be duped again?”

    Guo DaLu: “He was not duped, but I was.”

    Yan Qi beamed at him with a sweet smile. “Really, you cannot be considered as having been duped. At least you got a very satisfying opportunity to curse and swear at someone.”

    Guo DaLu: “Could I curse and swear one more time?”

    Yan Qi: “Who do you want to curse at?”

    Guo DaLu: “You.”

    All of a sudden, a horse and rider came galloping over. Guo DaLu was already so annoyed that he was uninterested in everything and could not be bothered to turn his head around to even cast a glance. However, Yan Qi, who was standing across from him, had lowered his head, as if he did not want the rider on the horse to see him. Unfortunately, the rider’s eyes were extremely sharp. The horse had just streaked into the alley when, with a long neigh, it reared unexpectedly on its hind legs.

    The rider on the horse had outstanding horsemanship. With a sharp tug on the reins, this person was already leaping upwards and somersaulting in midair before coming down lightly in front of Guo DaLu. The garments this person wore were redder than a plum, so red they dazzled the eyes.



    End of Chapter 30
    --------------------------------------------------

    [12] Of the Three Kingdoms period. Zhuge Liang was the renowned military strategist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhuge_Liang) and Cao Cao a warlord (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cao_Cao) of the time.

  18. #438
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    i'm guessing that yan qi is related to commander jin and must have ran away from home (thus she wants to avoid being recognize). this is getting so interesting. if that rider isn't commander jin himself, it must be another powerful person in that town who knows yan qi!!!! maybe we'll get to read about yan qi dressed up as a girl. thanks hoju!
    if you have the time and enthusiasm, please join in on the new and fabulous wuxia rpg fic /rpg discussion. (<--- click here)

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    Cool, more clues that hint Yan Qi's relation to Commander Jin. Yan Qi must have learned how to be a projectiles expert from another projectiles master. Also entertaining to see Yan Qi laugh at Guo DaLu's amusing attempts. Not easy to lose face each time for a hero like Guo DaLu!

    I'm assuming "Jin" is gold, as in Jin Yong? A fitting name for a rich and respected master.

  20. #440
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    Poor Guo - I think General Jin's treatment was spot on and very very funny.

    Thank you Hoju

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