Ting Yuan Sheng Sheng
(A Trip Back to the Old Courtyard)

PART II: Chapter 9

Original novel written by Qiong Yao

Fan translation by TKL (Send an email)

Days passed by but no trace of Han Yan could be detected. Pai Wen looked for her everywhere, asking her friends, and her colleagues. He posted messages on newspapers. Yet it was useless. He remembered what she told him about her adopted parents and thought that she might return there. However, he did not know where they stayed at. He had never really asked her about that matter. He grew thinner, lost his appetite and interests. He seldom went to his company. These differences in him could not escape the eyes of his mother and Kao Li De who was his best friend and also his best assistant. Li De was from the countryside and came to study in the city. He went to the same school and university as Pai Wen. When they graduated, Pai Wen invited Li De to work at the company and also stayed at his house.

When Pai Wen came home that night, his mother and Li De were discussing the renovation of the living room. Pai Wen did not notice and ate little before pacing back and forth in the room like a demented person. His mother was very concerned.

"Are you alright?"

Pai Wen was startled, staring at his mother. "Yes?"

She thought for a moment before saying, "You become like this just because of one woman?"

Pai Wen was stunned. "How did you know?"

She smiled. "I know everything. She is not a good person anyway. She is not compatible with you and won't fit into our family. She is probably just playing with you."

Pai Wen was annoyed. "Why did you say so? You don't even know Han Yan."

She laughed coldly. "I know very well. She is not worthy of your love, not even to polish your shoes. How can you marry such a lowly person in your position?"

"You don't know her. She is educated and has finished high school. There is nothing wrong about a worker. There are many famous people who were once lowly workers."

"Huh, you sound as though she is going to become the owner of the company."

Pai Wen frowned. "She doesn't care about money or title. The proof is that she left when I insulted her pride."

His mother was still determined. "She will come back soon. She is just playing hard to get. Pai Wen, I don't want a poor person from an unclear background as my daughter-in-law."

Pai Wen was quiet and his mother walked up to her room in anger. He looked at her then sighed. Li De lighted a cigarette and handed it to Pai Wen. "Have a cigarette."

Pai Wen absently took the cigarette from his friend's hand and sunk down on the sofa.

Li De also lighted a cigarette for himself and said slowly, "Why don't you tell me the whole story? I might be able to help you."

Pai Wen glanced at Li De before sighing heavily and gazing at the floating smoke chain coming off his cigarette. He frowned. "Li De, how did my mother know these things?"

"She called the manager Zhao at the company and he told her everything. He did not do that on purpose though."

Li De asked, "Han Yan left?"

Pai Wen's head bowed in silence. Li De continued to smoke and did not urge any answer from his friend. A long moment later, Pai Wen said, "It was all my fault. It was the first time in my life that I met a person with such goodness in her heart. Yet I placed too much value on virginity…"

Then he told Li De everything. "I have to find her no matter what. I am willing to exchange everything for her return."

Li De was quiet. He was a careful person, who only made a suggestion once he was sure of its credibility. A moment later, he suddenly said, "I think you should pay a visit to the new dance club. My friends told me that there is a new girl there, who went to work there because she seemed to be heart-broken."

Pai Wen frowned. "You mean…"

Li De sighed. "Once a person is in a hopeless and desperate moment, they often made decision without thinking of the consequence."

"What if she…"

"Maybe…I think Han Yan is a person with a strong will but it seemed like you crushed all of her wills."

Pai Wen stared at Li De for a moment then stood up and walked to the door without saying anything. Li De asked, "Where are you going?"

"To the dance club."

Li De's eyes followed his friend's figure out of the door. He shook his head and said to himself, "Han Yan must have been very brave to tell Pai Wen the whole truth but he was too silly."

Pai Wen sat down at a corner in the new dance club. His eyes swept lazily through the crowd on the dance floor. Happiness overwhelmed him as he saw Han Yan, who was dancing with a man. She looked different, covering in jewelry, but he recognized her immediately. He suddenly felt nervous and his hands trembled. He gestured to a girl standing by. She asked him in a seductive voice, "I've been waiting for you to call me all evening."

Pai Wen did not notice the girl but gave her some money before pointing to Han Yan. "What's her name?"

"Me?"

"No. That girl."

The girl glanced at him. "You called me just to ask about another girl? She is new here and very shy."

Pai Wen was annoyed.

She continued, "I must warn you. She is very difficult and not as experienced as me. I think her name is Han Yan or something like that."

Pai Wen waved for her to leave and she glared at him before walking away. He bought all tickets for Han Yan. The manager stared at him curiously. Pai Wen returned to his table. He ordered wine, lighted a cigarette, then down sat waiting. A woman sat down opposite to him. Her voice was familiar. "You bought all my tickets?"

Pai Wen looked up. She brought a hand up to suppress a shocked exclamation. She would never think that she would meet him here. He handed her a glass of wine. "Why don't you have a drink then listen to me?"

Her hands shook as she took the glass from his hand. He studied her appearance and realized that she looked tired and thinner. She put the glass of wine down and looked at him. Her face had changed. There was no more trace of vulnerability and fear on it. Pai Wen held her hand, "Han Yan, did you know that I looked for you everywhere?"

She was quiet. He continued, "You…"

She interrupted him, "Why did you buy all of my tickets? I am new here so I don't dance very well. Do you want to dance?"

Pai Wen frowned. "Han Yan…"

She shrugged her shoulders. A feeling of pity and bitterness rose inside him. He said pleadingly, "Han Yan…Please don't use that voice to speak to me. I looked for you to apologize and I came here to…"

She laughed, "For entertainment, right?"

His voice was sad, "No. I came to take you away from this place."

She nodded her head quickly. "Take me away? All right, where do you want to go? Movies? Dinner? I'm free tonight since you bought all the tickets."

She stood up and continued, "Should we go now?"

Pai Wen stood up quietly. Her coldness and distance pained him. However, it was him who put the distance between them. He realized that she did not want to continue their relationship. She asked coldly, "Should we go? Why are you still standing there? If you want to dance, we can dance."

Biting his lips hard, Pai Wen replied, "Let's leave. We'll talk outside."

She picked up her purse. His arm wrapped around her waist but she did not push him away. Pai Wen felt that she was so distant and did not care for anything. After they got into the car, she asked, "Where are we going?"

Pai Wen sighed. "Where are you living at the moment?"

"It's near here."

"Why don't we go to your place?"

She nodded without hesitation. "If you want."

She did not say anything else, withdrawing herself into the coat. Pai Wen put his arm around her shoulder and she rested her head against his chest coldly like any professional prostitute. However, Pai Wen also felt an awkwardness in her behaviour. It was like she was putting up an act for him to despise and to leave her.

She pointed to a dark and narrow lane on the side of the street. Pai Wen stopped the car and she took him up the stairs. Her room was small but very well-furnished, very different to her previous suffocated room. There was a small wine shelf with many imported wines, and a beautiful sofa. Pai Wen stopped and glanced around as if someone just slapped him hard on the face. This was a room of a professional prostitute. Han Yan was probably going to become one. However, he commented, "The room is nice."

"Really? Everything was in here when I rented the room. If it was my room, I would decorate with purple. The bedroom should be painted white or light pink." She gestured to the sofa. "Sit down, please."

She put a packet of cigarettes and the ashtray on the table and said, "Do you smoke?"

Pai Wen shook his head. "Thank you."

"Then let's have a drink."

She looked at the wine shelf. "I have champagne but I think you should have whiskey."

Pai Wen shook his head. "No…I don't drink."

Han Yan still talked in the same cold voice. "You should drink something. I won't charge you anything tonight. You have already bought all the tickets. I'm serious. I won't charge extra tonight."

Pai Wen surged to his feet and reached Han Yan's side. His hands grasped her arms and turned her around, forcing her to look at him. He said, "That's enough. I know that I was wrong but please don't punish me anymore." His hands squeezed painfully on her arms. "I know you hate me and I'm willing to be punished but please don't use those cold and cruel words anymore."

Han Yan pushed him away and stepped back. She stammered, "What are you talking about? You paid and I provided the service. I'm just a dance girl. I haven't said or done anything that you could accuse me of being cold and distant."

Her words were like from a stranger. Pai Wen sighed. "Do you know how much I regretted my action. I've been look for you for the past few months. Han Yan, listen to me. I love you…I really love you. I will marry you despite everything."

She was stunned and stared at him for a moment. Then her head bowed low and she said sadly, "If you want to marry me, I must give my reply that I won't marry you."

Pai Wen called out. "Han Yan..." He held her hand. "I know, you hate me. I understand everything. However, I beg you to consider my proposition. I beg you, Han Yan."

"No, it's not possible."

She turned away, staring out the window. "You despised me. You saw me as a dirty person who did not deserve you. I can't be a wife to a person who despises me. Mr. Bo, I have already said, I'm not worthy…"

"Han Yan, please don't say so. It was me who was selfish. I understand it now. I have ridded myself of selfishness and ridiculous ideology. Whatever happened in your past did not taint you in anyway. I was narrow-minded and selfish." He sighed and continued, "I don't think about your family or your past. In my heart, you are always a perfect person. I beg you to marry me. Please forgive me and don't reject me."

She trembled but her eyes were still gazing out the window. Her shoulders shook lightly and tears stung her eyes. Her lips moved but no sound escaped. Eventually, she smiled awkwardly, "If you said so before…"

She whispered sadly, "I would have knelt at your feet. But now…I have returned to my dark and sad life. I must face reality. I won't dream and hope anymore. I won't come back to you, Mr. Bo."

She was choked with tears for a moment. "But…you have money, you can always come to the dance club to buy me, as long as you want."

Pai Wen shook his head. "Han Yan, I cannot leave you here. I must take you away and marry you."

"No."

Pai Wen was patient. "You can scream at me, reproach me, say whatever you want but please don't treat me so cruelly."

"Mr. Bo, it is you who is being cruel." She suddenly turned back and looked at him, tears falling down her cheeks. "I beg you, please let me go." She wept uncontrollably and it pained Pai Wen. He pulled her toward him and kissed away her tears. "Please forgive me, Han Yan…I was wrong…I have caused you so much pain."

"No… I'm not hurt anymore. To put it more correctly, I don't know what pain is anymore."

Pai Wen pleaded, "Please give me a chance to make up to you. Please leave this life to have a new life with me full of happiness that you deserve."

She was quiet and he pressed on. "Han Yan. Please say yes. I will marry you."

Shaking her head, she tried to speak. "There will be one day when you regret today. I will still have to come back to this life."

"No…It won't happen. I have thought about this very carefully."

"I believe that in your mind, you still hold the ideology about a perfect and untainted woman. I don't know about the future. What if one day something happens and those thoughts appear in your mind again, what would happen to me then? Mr. Bo…I don't dare to marry such a worthy person like you."

Her hands covered her face and she cried. Her shoulders shook violently as tears dripped through her fingers. She shook her head and continued, "Please let me go on with my life. I beg you. Please leave me alone. Please don't use me as your entertainment like many other men who will do so in the future. I don't want to see you as one of those people." She could not say anything else and Pai Wen gently took her hands away. He gazed at her pale face. He understood that he had injured and humiliated her. She now looked at life with a suspicious eye and dared not to trust anyone. He also knew that she became so because she really did love him. He gathered her into his embrace. "Han Yan…you can say and do anything if that takes away your anger. I have done so much wrongs by you. I lied to myself when I wanted to leave you. It was my fault. I know that…"

He kissed her but she was still crying. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders tightly. She said, "You…Do you really want to marry me?"

He replied in a determined voice, "I'm in love with you and want to marry you."

He changed the tone of his voice to cheer her up. "I will prepare for our wedding tomorrow. I will also pay whatever you owe your adopted parents while you arrange to stop working at the dance club. Han Yan, you cannot live like this anymore. I promise that I will take care of you this life and many other lives if heaven will let us reunite in the next life."

"You…"

"You will see that I keep to my words if you marry me."

"But… I don't deserve it."

He pressed his fingertips against her lips. "You are the most beautiful girl, both in soul and in appearance, the only person for me."

She blinked away the tears as she looked at him. "Will you regret?"

Pai Wen smiled. "Never. I only regret that I did something that almost destroyed our love. I am not a child who acts out of impulse."

She was quiet and he asked. "Han Yan, do you forgive me?"

Her arms tightened around him. Her head rested against his broad chest as she cried tears of happiness.

It was beautiful that morning. The bird sang joyfully outside. Han Yan opened her eyes slowly, bathing in the warmness of the sunlight pouring into her room. She glanced at the watch and it was 8:30 am. It was time to get up. Pai Wen would pick her up at 10 am. She still had enough time to dress up and wait for him. She was living in happiness and the joy seemed to spread deep into her bone. That gave her a floating and surreal feeling as if she had flied up and reached extreme happiness. However, she was still not sure that this was real. Last night, she lay awake, thinking about the turns of events. Pai Wen had told her that he would marry her and she would become his wife. It was like a dream. She did not think the day that she would become Pai Wen's wife had come. She looked at the wedding dress hung next to her bed. It was white as snow. Today was going to be the most beautiful and busiest day of her life. She got up and washed her face. Staring at herself in the mirror, she realized the changes. Her eyes were luminous and not tired as usual. Her face glowed with joy.

She let out a sigh and said to herself, "Pai Wen said that my days of misery had passed. How will the future turn out?"

From today, she would start a new life. She brushed her long silky hair and thought of Pai Wen. Pai Wen! That name sounded so comforting, like how his voice was last night when he told her of his plan. "We will organize a wedding, the sooner, the better. I won't let anything separate us this time."

"You sound as though there is some difficulty?"

She smiled at him.

"No, but I don't care. I love you and want to marry you." Holding her hand, he had said, "I want to marry right now. I am afraid of time."

Han Yan shook her head. "You won't lose me. Never. Unless you leave me." She smiled and continued, "Except that, there is nothing else that could part us."

Pai Wen suddenly asked. "How would you like your wedding to be? A grand wedding?"

She shook her head. "It's up to you but I rather have a simple wedding with just the two of us. I don't like too many guests. The simpler, the better."

Pai Wen let out a relieved sigh. "You're really simple."

"You don't want to?"

Pai Wen shook his head. "No. I have the same thought as you. How about marriage certificate?"

Han Yan smiled. "It's up to you."

Pai Wen was happy. "I think we should do our marriage certificate first then have the wedding. Let's go now."

Han Yan smiled. "My age won't be legal until the end of this month."

Pai Wen laughed. "The bride is still too young. What should we do?"

Han Yan blushed. Pai Wen placed a kiss on her hair. "Your adopted parents are your guardians, right?"

"Yes."

"Will they give permission?"

"I think they will as they don't really care anyway."

"Then we should have our wedding this week." He smiled mysteriously before continued, "I will take you home after that."

She stammered, "Why don't you introduce me to your mother first?"

"Now or later makes no difference." Pai Wen stood up. "I will go to take care of few things. You just wait for me and we will become husband and wife this week. I cannot wait for that day."

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