Help: Please help me choose a better translation solution

I am a Chinese author and I am choosing a translation for my work, my English is not good, please help me choose which of the two translates better and reads better, thank you






1. El Prus is still sacred. Although the glory of the past has been buried with the relics of the ancestors, the spine of the “ruined city” is still the pinnacle of the entire desert. The yellow sand disperses, the shadows float, and the huge dark shadow outlines the appearance of its former master, the king of El Prus, the lord of wealth and glory, the golden dragon of the world – Barrayan.
Vanessa hung her head in silence in the shadow of the obelisk, her fingers tenderly tracing the rough rock surface as if she were stroking the face of a loved one. “I swear to avenge you, Father.” The young girl clenched her fist, mourning beyond words, her arm trembling slightly, long nails embedded in the flesh, piercing the skin, golden blood dripping down, and rising like a mist in the hot dusty sand. Stopping for a moment, she then walked deeper into the desert. The tumbling yellow sand was like the mists of history obscuring the truth, but a little scarlet was showing her the way——the Eye of Perus was calling to her in the distance. Father once said, “Time may bury the bones, but the original magic lives on." She had to find the treasure that the Barrayan bloodline had been guarding for a thousand years.
She knew every inch of El Prus as well as her homeland, but the sun was sinking and in a few moments, the evil creatures lurking in the shadows would take over the ancient country of dust and sand that once dominated the south of the continent, with the golden dragon as its totem, guarding the gateway to hell. With this in mind, Vanessa Barean spat at the sand, but nevertheless she had to collect her thoughts, hold back her anger, and quicken her pace.
The yellow sand was endless.
Although she has long been familiar with the roads, after two hours of traversing, her heart grew heavier and heavier. Once El Prus was prosperous and flourishing, with banners and caravans running like water, high elves settling in the oasis and angels chanting in the halls, but now the past is no more, and the glory and history have been buried by the dust and sand. If she hadn’t been invited by the star spirits to travel the planes, the name Barrayan would no longer exist.
I must have the diamond back, no matter what the cost. Vanessa repeated the words in her mind to increase her belief. Young beasts without the shelter of their pack can often grow up quickly, for the price of failure is a brutal death. She raised her right hand, the gilt wrist brace is bright and dazzling, this inherited treasure was given to her by her father at birth, is one of her few strengths. The dark golden dragon totem covered the arm, noble and majestic, but a strong contrast is the dragon’s eyes are vacuous and lifeless, as if the spiritual source of control of the mind was taken away and stripped.
As the distance draws closer, the magic eye above the sky gradually clear, it has a flame tumbling eye, scarlet red like lava iris, like a crack torn open in vain in the flame. The pupil representing the purest darkness stares at Vanessa, and the brown eyelids bring up a crease that makes people shudder. This is disgusting, Vanessa thought, while lowering her head and speeding up her pace. Another hundred or so steps forward she clearly felt a change in temperature, the dull heat turned to cold cold, the dust and sand beneath her feet is gradually occupied by the cracked earth, when she looked up to gaze at the dark sky hanging down the line of crimson and gold, she knew she had arrived, the world’s wound “crack”.




2. El Prus is still sacred, and though the glory of the past is buried deep in the ground with the remains of its ancestors, the spine of the ruined city remains the pinnacle of the entire desert. As the yellow sand clears and the shadows float, a vast dark shadow traces the shape of its former master, the King of El Prus, Lord of Wealth and Glory, Barrayan the Earthly Golden Dragon.
Vanessa stood silently with her head hanging in the shadow of the obelisk, her fingers tenderly tracing the rough rocky surface as if she were stroking the face of a loved one. "I swear vengeance for you, Father." The young girl clenched her fist, mourning beyond words, her arm trembling slightly, her long nails digging into the flesh, piercing the skin, golden blood dripping down in a smooth stream, rising like mist in the hot dusty sand.
Stopping for a moment, she then headed deeper into the desert. The tumbling sands were like the mists of history obscuring the truth, but a little scarlet was showing the way, and in the distance the Eye of Pelus was calling to her. As her father once said, "Time may bury the bones, but the primordial magic lives on", she must find the treasure that the Barrayan bloodline has guarded for millennia.
Returning to her homeland, she knew every inch of El Prus, but the candlelight was fading, and in a few moments the foul things that lurked in the shadows would take over the dusty sands that once stood in the south of the continent, with the golden dragon as its totem and the gateway to Hell.
With this in mind, Vanessa Barean spat at the sand, but despite this she had to gather her thoughts, hold back her anger and quicken her pace.
Yellow sand as far as the eye can .
Although lightly travelled, her heart grew heavier after two hours of walking through the city. Once El Prus was prosperous, banners and caravans flowed through it, High Elves settled in the oases and angels sang in the halls, but now the past is no more, glory and history are buried in dust and sand, and if she had not been invited by the Star Spirits to walk in the Ether, the name Barrayan would no longer exist.
I must have the diamond back, whatever the cost. Vanessa repeated the words in her mind to strengthen her belief that a young beast without the shelter of its pack can often grow up quickly, for the price of failure is a brutal death. She raised her right hand, the gilded gauntlet that had been given to her by her father at birth, one of the few things she had left. A dark gold dragon totem covers her arm, a magnificent and majestic sight, but in stark contrast, the dragon's eyes are empty, as if the spiritual stream that controls her mind has been stripped away.
As it draws closer, the demonic eye becomes clearer, with its flaming orbs and scarlet irises, like a gaping hole torn through the flames. The pupil of purest darkness stared down at Vanessa, its tan lids bringing up a crease that sent shivers down the spine. This is disgusting, Vanessa thought to herself, as she lowered her head and quickened her pace.
A hundred paces further on she felt a distinct change in temperature, the sullen heat turning to a chilling cold, the dust and sand beneath her feet gradually taking over the cracked earth, and as she gazed up at the line of crimson and gold hanging down from the dusky sky, she knew she had arrived, the wound (the rift) of the world.
"You have come, orphan of the Golden Dragon." An abrupt voice rang out and Vanessa followed it as a figure hidden in wide linen robes appeared not far away, he was a head taller than Vanessa, but all that leaked vaguely from the robes was a gloomy darkness. He might not really be that tall, maybe he was a green goblin under the robe, Vanessa thought. And then he seemed to wave his hand inside the robe, and an invisible spell barrier rose up around them and enveloped them, before stacking and regrouping and finally returning to peace. And after that, the demonic eye seemed to lose its target, its scarlet pupils opening slightly, lingering for a moment before turning away in slight puzzlement to gaze again at the ancient ruins of El Prus.
"Blasphemer... Felix", despite her readiness, she shuddered slightly as she pronounced the name, a taboo in Ahmed, a true name forged in sin and blood, a symbol of darkness, sin and blasphemy against the light of the gods. And what she was about to do was to make a deal with the devil, even though it might bring her to her doom eternally.
"I sense your fear, and as much as it pleases me, I have to correct you Vanessa, blasphemy may not be a bad thing, and when the world blindly follows the so-called truths of the gods, remember that there is no absolute truth in the world. When the world is bound by the dogmas of the gods, remember that any restraint can be broken. Darkness was not created to serve the light; it came into the world for its own reason."
"But you have slaughtered the gods, and look at this land, and Ahmed has been scarred by you!"
"The gods have described to you the reality of this world and have ordained all nature, even the abyssal hells, to securely in place , a world that is like a set of precise cogs running in fixed rules and order, which even makes you think that it is the world itself! But there is always a deeper truth beneath the truth, and I just never stop chasing the truth and seeking it. It is when order collapses, when the throne is shaken, when the hypocrisy of divine power shatters into rubble, that the truth hidden behind the lie emerges; perhaps you do not understand it, but you must try to accept it, even if the truth is more horrible than the lie"
The blasphemous words caused a riot in the boundary, the magic steamed and cracked like boiling lava, but Felix seemed unconcerned by this, he didn't even look down, an even purer magic spread like a tidal wave, despite the efforts of the rioting magic to resist and even to form a magic net, it was in a moment reduced to nothing, the scattered magic was captured by the tidal wave and finally gathered into a bundle and merged into Vanessa's body The tidal wave captured the magic in all directions, eventually converging into a single beam that was incorporated into Vanessa's body.
Vanessa stared at this in disbelief as she felt a more noble and pure energy than the net spread through her body, nourishing her flesh and blood, a powerful energy she had never felt before. Even the totem on her arm seemed to take on a divine rhythm.
"When the diamond was exposed to the air, an indescribable radiance burst forth, leaving Vanessa unable to keep her eyes open and Felix had to add another layer of boundaries to prevent the Devil's Eye from prying eyes.
It was incomparably beautiful and divine, like a shooting star falling from the topmost constellation in the sky, and it was the most beautiful one of all, even the sun could not stop its light, it was the child of light and the embodiment of wealth and power.
"The Treasure Diamond of Wealth!" Vanessa looked in fascination at the precious diamond before her, a glory that belonged to Barean, a supreme treasure that belonged to an earthly golden dragon. She had seen her father worship it in the dragon's lair, and even she had only seen it from afar a few times.
Vanessa held back her excitement, remembering well what her father had told her when she was very young, that everything in this world rested on a scale, that everything could be traded, that everything had a price, but also that the more you wanted, the more you had to pay. Even though she had been promised this place and had even seen the greatest treasure of her clan, she was still not sure that she could pay the price. All she had today was an inherited secret treasure, or this body, and her life.
"Of all the diamonds in the world, the diamond of wealth is the most beautiful of all, wealth, power, fame, and in a way the diamond of wealth can gain everything. And so it was when your father was alive." Felix walked towards Vanessa and handed her the diamond, "But in the end all things will come to nothing and your father will return to the gods."
Vanessa trembled as she took the diamond of wealth, as bright as a star, the sleeping dragon awoke, the wings of the golden dragon totem unfurled, her head raised to greedily suck in the flow of divine energy, the sensation of magic filling her eyes, pursing her lips to keep from making a sound. The light flowed and the precious diamonds gradually became smaller and smaller, eventually converging on the golden dragon to form a pair of golden eyes.
"There is a new king of the desert, wealth and power will revert to El Prus, to their queen, Vanessa Barean," Felix laughed, stroking his palm.
The light clears and Vanessa is now like a mythical creature, perfect, harmonious, a symbol of cosmic beauty, her divinity flowing around her like the embodiment of all that is good, her features softening, her form beautiful, her hands moving with a background of soft light and chanting. Vanessa opened her eyes to look directly at Felix, her golden hair flowing with light as divine.
"So, what is the price?"



thank you