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Thread: Forlorn (Eric Mun, Hyori Lee, and cameos by various characters)

  1. #1
    Junior Member blueeyedhero's Avatar
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    Post Forlorn (Eric Mun, Hyori Lee, Minwoo and cameos by various characters)

    hi i'm very new to this forum and i hope to make a nice impression with this fanfic i'm about to begin. this fanfic is still incomplete in my mind but i know what i am writing. this is basically my own personal fantasy of how i'd want my life to turn out with hyori except of course i'm putting eric mun in my place cuz i think he's on a whole other level above me. but what i'm about to voice are what i would want to happen if i were just a fan only dreaming of this kind of intimacy with her. so i hope you all enjoy i will start the first chapter very soon. oh by the way i'd love if you could give me some constructive criticism on how you like the fanfic or what you dont like about it so i may make changes, improve, or improvise so everyone enjoys future chapters.
    Last edited by blueeyedhero; 01-22-06 at 03:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum. A new writer huh? I think its good to ask for other people's suggestions but I also think that a writer should always hold onto what they like and write what they want so that the reader can read and read what the writer really thinks and want to express in their story rather than something written to cater to the reader's interest and wants.

    Good luck with writing. I'm trying to pick up the pen and write again after 3 years of hiatus on my personal pieces of writing.
    I just love how you Captivate My Mind

    Self reminder - Update blog more often and continue editing/writing for TOV fanfic.

  3. #3
    Junior Member blueeyedhero's Avatar
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    Default Chapter 1: Infatuated

    Eric:

    "Ahhh! Home at last!" as he reaches his dorm in Dongguk University in Seoul. Quickly unlocking his dorm door and pretty much falling in.

    "Damn i really have to stop meeting the floor like this," in his thoughts, "I’ve just been so tired lately." he thinks to himself as he lets out a yawn. "But I have a paper to get to before i even go to bed, should i even bother?"

    "well i cant keep up this bad boy facade forever i have to do something" (turns on his pc, while he waits for it to load he just lays back in his bed and lets out a sigh) "how long has it been now since I’ve had this crush on Hyori" "these days i feel like such a naive teenage boy with a crush on her"
    "haha my friends think I’m just fooling around but in truth i really wish some way i could just get to know her through herself" "i guess when i think about it seems so far out of my reach"
    "How can i reach someone as far as the stars?"
    “I wonder if she’s ever written back any of her fans. I’ve written so many fan letters I thought I was bound to get something back in the mail. But with all fans she’s got I guess I shouldn’t expect that much.” (Sigh looking at his desktop wallpaper, Hyori smiling back)

    “I really do wonder what it’d be like just to talk to you even if it is only for one minute.”

    “Haha listen to myself I sound like a lost puppy looking for a home. Well i better get back to my paper it’s not going to write itself". (Gets up off the bed and sits down in front of the computer, starts to type as the view starts to leave the interior of his dorm room and starts to move to Hyori's.)

    Hyori:

    “Ahhh! Home at last!” opening up her room door. (Smiles and jumps onto her bed) “Mmmmm! I missed my bed so much, today really took it out of me, recording my new album, a shoot, a public appearance, when am I going to stop!” (Smiling to herself) “but you know it guess its worth it” “It’s great being known all over the world and so much fan mail it can fill my backyard” “I wish I could read it but I can never find the time to it’d be great to know what my fans would say to me if they could meet me in person.”

    (Yawn) “I’m so tired,” (closing her eyes) “Mmmmm I’ll just nap for,” (yawn) “maybe an hour or two. Then I have to rehearse for my show tomorrow night” (She falls fast asleep)

    Eric:

    Minwoo finally reaches up the stairs to Eric’s dorm. Huffing and puffing he starts banging on the door with his fist.

    “Eric!!!!!,” Minwoo yells. “Wake up!!!”

    Minwoo’s back pushes against the door as his whole body starts to slide down the door to the floor.

    “Man, why does he have to be at the top of the stairs it’s so unnecessary to climb all these stairs!” (Huffing and puffing) “I mean how he manages it I don’t know seriously” Just as he finishes his thought he finds himself falling backward. He finds himself looking straight up at Eric. He smiles, “Hey buddy! About time you opened up your door what took you so long.” Minwoo hops up to his feet.

    Eric: What are you doing down there? Seriously Minwoo you’re out of shape you got to hit the gym again. Right now I’m busy got to finish up this paper or I’m in some trouble.

    Minwoo: Eric… it’s a Saturday what are you doing? We should be out having some fun or something.

    Minwoo faces Eric’s PC.

    Minwoo: Ohhhhhh haha I see you have a personal date with Hyori’s image. Haha seriously we got to find you a girlfriend instead of letting you daydream all day about a fantasy girl

    Eric: Ha-Ha very funny Minwoo now if you don’t mind I need to finish writing this paper then we’ll see what we’ll do later tonight.

    Minwoo: This is what you get for slacking Eric. I’ve done mine already you should have finished yours last week when you had the chance.

    Eric: Minwoo… I’m not you okay so I’d like to do my paper now. Now!

    Minwoo: Alright alright! no need to get pushy. By the way I suggest you finish that paper by 8 tonight.

    Eric (whose already sitting at his pc typing away): Yeah why’s that?

    Minwoo: I’ve scored tickets to your wallpaper girlfriend’s concert tonight!

    Eric (stops typing and slowly turns around in the creepiest and slowest manner): what did you just say?

    Minwoo (reaches into his pocket and pulls out two very real tickets): how bout I just show them to you hmm?

    Eric (O.O): where’d you get those?!

    Minwoo (smirks): oh lets just say I have connections. Front row by the way.

    Eric (already typing away at his paper like a madman): Shut up! Don’t talk to me! I’m doing this paper! Right now!

    Hyori:

    Her mother is knocking on the door.

    Mother: Hyori, honey, Wake up. Shouldn’t you be at work right now?

    The word work just sends a shock into Hyori’s nerves. Her eyes just open wide. She practically jumps out of her bed. However, she finds herself not able to find any footing at all and falls to the floor.

    Hyori: Ow...

    She jumps straight to her feet.

    Hyori: oh my god I’m late I’m late I’m late. I have to rehearse, I need to get dressed, I need a shower, oh my god!

    Next thing you know she’s rushing down the stairs she reaches the kitchen grabs a piece of shrimp and puts it into her mouth so that only the tail dangles out as she rushes further outside to where her limo is picking her up. Finishing the piece of shrimp she sighs in relief having made it to her ride.

    Hyori (sigh): phew I made it in time to get to rehearsal and then get ready for the show. I wonder how many people are going to show. I hope many people come (she smiles) I think I’ll stay a little while longer so I can meet a couple fans before I leave the stage for the night to make up for not reading fan mail in so long. I would like to get to know the fans that I’ve been singing to. (smiling to herself)

    Limo driver: Hyori we’ve made it to the stage.

    Hyori: Yes thank you just let me off here I can walk.

    Limo driver: Yes Ma’am

    Hyori steps out of her limo and makes her way to the stadium. She starts chatting with her back up dancers. Smiling and laughing as if she were with her own girlfriends, which they are by the way. They start rehearsing following dance routines, Hyori handles practicing her bars before she joins the rest of them in the dance routines. The maintenance crew works on the special effects while Hyori and her dancers practice on stage. Her manager appears and makes her way to Hyori.

    Manager: Hey Hyori how are you feeling today?

    Hyori (yawns): A little tired but I’m fine now after awhile I start feeling awake. (smiles)

    Manager: Well our show tonight is sold out so expect a big audience. So you have the order of songs ready to perform correct?

    Hyori (yawns): Yep

    Manager: Hyori that doesn’t really reassure me of anything.

    Hyori: Stop worrying everything will be fine. Cuz I’m Hyori. (cutely smiles)

    Manager (she’s walking away): Haha okay okay I get it I’ll mellow out.

    Hyori: Anything else you'd like me to do so the concert will be a bigger success?

    Manager (turns her head back and pauses): Just improvise (smiles)
    Last edited by blueeyedhero; 01-24-06 at 12:41 PM.

  4. #4
    Junior Member blueeyedhero's Avatar
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    i see there are a lot of silent readers out there i hope ur enjoying this i'll have the second half out soon

  5. #5
    Junior Member blueeyedhero's Avatar
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    Default Chapter 1: Infatuated (continued..)

    Eric:

    Eric: I didn’t eat or even move from my seat all day. (staring at the finished product of his work) But I am finally finished, but I wonder what time it is. (turns to face the clock). It’s 7?! Oh man I gotta eat, get dressed, get ready. (stumbles all over himself as he rushes to do all 3 at once.)

    20 minutes later…

    His bedroom door opens. He steps out in a pair of camo green cargos, a similar colored shirt with a radical design of an angel across his chest. He grabs his jacket and puts on his beanie. Around the bottom edge of the beanie it reads “Shinhwa”. He steps out of his dorm room and makes his way out of his dorm building. He hops onto his motorcycle and turns the ignition. He gives it a little gas and it lets out a low roar of satisfaction. Grabbing his helmet it puts it over his head and flips his visor down.

    Eric: Keys, check. Wallet, check. Well looks like I’m going to finally see her in person. I wonder what its going to be like.

    He kicks up his kickstand and goes on his way to the stadium. So many thoughts are racing through his mind in his anticipation to finally meet the girl of his fantasies. He races down the streets of Seoul, his fingertips full of the eager anxiousness that he had when he first saw those tickets Minwoo flashed in his eyes. “This is my chance to finally see her, what am I going to do? I’m thinking way top far ahead of myself. I’ll just try to have a good time that’s all.”

    He reaches the stadium grounds, gets off his bike and turns off the ignition. Taking off his helmet he places it onto the seat of his car. He stares at the stadium’s outer walls. He takes a deep breath of the cool autumn air. It filled his lungs and satisfied his eagerness.

    Eric: I wonder if Minwoo is here yet. I hope he’s not late. I bet he’s enjoying every minute of it because he knows how much I want to see her in person. I’ll get him back for this.

    Minwoo (off in the distance): Yo!!!!!! Eric!!! Over here, you made it and here I thought you didn’t finish.

    Eric: Nope I finished around 7 and I came here as quick as I could. You got the tickets still?

    Minwoo: Uh I lost them Eric.

    Eric: What!? Wait wait I know this is a trick.

    Minwoo(=\): Yeah I thought you’d fall for it but I guess not. (Pulling the tickets out of his pocket)

    Eric: Yeah you’re just taking advantage of my crush today. Well let’s get going I’m sure they’re going to start soon.

    They make their way to the ticket handlers and hand their tickets over to them. They enter making their way to the stadium entrance. The doors open and the lights of the stadium shone brightly. Eric just stands in place to take in the view of the whole location. He breathes deep again and thoughts again begin to race through his mind. “I’m so nervous, I’m not really meeting her as a person would usually meet a person but I feel like I’m going to …” Before he could finish his thought Minwoo starts pushing Eric from behind.

    Minwoo: Okay get in there buddy! Let’s get our spots quick before other people fill them up. So let’s get going or you’re never going to even get a real view of your daydream girlfriend.

    Eric (low tone): you know you really have to stop teasing me like that. I’m going to get you back as many times as you’re teasing me.

    Minwoo: Well you’re not going to do anything if you’re just going to stand in the entrance like an idiot. Let’s go.
    Eric and Minwoo finally make it to their spots and start socializing with the other fans that happen to be there already. Eric just looks to the stage and his fingertips start tingling with eagerness. “I want to see her…”

    Hyori:

    Meanwhile backstage Hyori is putting on her make-up and getting dressed for the concert. She practices a few bars while she’s putting on her outfit for the first few of songs she will be performing before she hits backstage again during an intermission to change for the last set of songs. Everything is set and ready, while practicing her bars she starts to think of what to do about her manager’s words about improvisation. “I guess we’ll see what happens when I get on stage.”

    The cry of the crowd as the lights of the stage suddenly lit elicits excitement within Hyori. The crowd starts to chant, “Hyori! Hyori! Hyori!” She makes her way to the lift high above the stage. She, too, breathes the cool autumn air appears to live on the enthusiasm of the crowd. As their excitement grows so does hers, it is as though the audience is breathing life into her so that she may perform. She feels them and as the lift starts to descend the cheering only gets louder. She looks out to the crowd thousands of faces drawn to her. “Here I go,” she thinks to herself, “It’s time to fly.”
    Last edited by blueeyedhero; 01-24-06 at 12:59 AM.

  6. #6
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    hey i enjoy reading the story so far... But were is the rest of the story??

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