Zhang Wuji get's no respect. He's often viewed as wishy-washy with great kung fu, but poor fighting skills. While some of the criticisms against him are valid, I think that people over-look the things that makes him a "true" man, more so than the other 2 Condor Trilogy heroes: Guo Jing and Yang Guo.
Guo Jing grew into manhood and became a great hero, one everybody in Jiang Hu looked up to, someone who sacrificed everything for the good of China. But, how did he get there? I think the thing puts him a notch below Zhang Wuji is that Guo Jing wasn't a self-made man. He had a heroic heart, but his brain was often sorely lacking. It was only because of Huang Rong's scheming that he learned Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang, arguably, GJ's signature martial art. It was Huang Rong who helped (albeit through an intermediary) Guo Jing comprehend much of 9 Ying. Ultimately, Guo Jing wasn't a self-made man; he was a product of his future-wife, making him worthy of her to marry. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a man who, through his significant other, is able to succeed beyond even their own native abilities, however, it is a pale comparison to ZWJ, who succeeded based entirely on himself. ZWJ learned medicine by himself in a bid to save others under the unsympathetic eye of Hu Qing-Niu. Zhang Wu-ji spent 5 years by himself, teaching himself 9 Yang Shen Gong. And he built on that knowledge himself and learned even better arts. Not only was he smart enough to learn his own arts, he was every bit the intellectual equal of all the girls who loved him. Xiao Zhao and Zhou Zi-ruo aren't the equal of a Huang Rong, however, they weren't slouches. On the other hand, Zhao Min is (arguably) as smart as Huang Rong and even more underhanded than her. And Zhang Wu-ji was able to handle all of them. Zhang Wu-ji's one flaw is his soft heart, which allowed him to be used and abused by both Zhou and Zhao. And speaking of the heart, this leads us to our second leading man.
Yang Guo is certainly no intellectual slouch, he's every bit the match of Huang Rong and possibly even exceeds Zhang Wu-ji in that department. However, like Zhang Wu-ji, he had a soft heart. Not only soft, it was brittle as glass. Sure, Yang Guo had a hard start in life. His father died before he was born and his mother died while he was still a child. However, while it's tough (and folly) to compare these things, Zhang Wu-ji had it tough too. Both his parents committed suicide right before his eyes. Yang Guo knew that his mother loved him and left him because she got sick. Yang Guo was able to hold on to the fact that his father was a hero (it wasn't true, but he didn't know that). Zhang Wu-ji had to grow up knowing his parents chose death over him! The kind of psychological issues that go into that is mind-boggling. But Zhang Wu-ji soldiered on. In fact, he only ever cried once, the day his parents died. After that he never cried again, he never felt sorry for himself. He kept going. Yang Guo, OTOH, could be found crying like a little baby in the snow as a teenager, bemoaning the fact that he had nobody (he still had his Uncle Guo) and that the only person who loved him (hi Gu Gu) was no where nearby. However, I think he can be forgiven this, he was still young. The thing that I believe is unmanly for Yang Guo to do was to kill himself because he thought his Gu Gu was dead! Now, I'm as much of romantic as the next guy (I love English Romantic poetry), however, it's pathetic for a guy to kill himself because someone he loves died. A man would mourn for a respectable period of time then pick himself up and move on with his life. It's this co-dependency of Yang Guo's that makes me think that he's really a bit less of a true man. It's natural to mourn, it's un-natural to give up.
Sure, many people argue that Zhang Wu-ji and point to the fact that he was indecisive about which woman he wanted to be with. Can we rightfully blame him? The one thing that Zhang Wu-ji experienced that neither Guo Jing nor Yang Guo experienced was being spurned, used and betrayed by a girl they liked or loved. Guo Jing didn't love Hua Zhen except as a sister and Yang Guo laid his eyes on Xiao Longnu and never took them off her again. Zhang Wu-ji, however, was betrayed by the first love of his life and this was after she led him on for a period of time. I think it was this experience that made him less willing to commit to anyone, his trust had been betrayed, so he wasn't likely to trust again so soon.
Ultimately, I think Zhang Wu-ji had the mental and emotional character to what one think another man should have. He's an intelligent, self-made man with the confidence to lead others and depend on no one except himself.