Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 70

Thread: Rejecting someone you actually do like

  1. #21
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeung Gor View Post
    I once rejected a girl whom I liked. She was smart and pretty. Well, she was actually in love with me for a while. I had always felt bad that I never gave her a chance. But I rejected her because I wasn't ready for a relationship.
    Why did you do that?? That is sad and do you regret it now??
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Yeung Gor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,734

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    Why did you do that?? That is sad and do you regret it now??
    I do regret it. I wonder how the relationship would have turn out. In my school, a lot of guys wanted her because she was the whole package, brains and beauty and she even plays sports. She and I have the most fate out of all the girls I ever met. By that I meant I ran into her in odd places. She hated me for a long time when I rejected her. She wouldn't say hi to me when we bump into each other in the street, I don't blame her I broke her heart.

    6 yrs after I rejected her, I met her at a BBQ outing in the beach. That day I wanted to apologize to her and told her that I had liked her all along. She was surprised to see me there. And she and I sat close to the shores all by ourself and just talk about our lives and where we are heading. The fact she was open and nice to me again, I thought she had move on so I didn't bring up what had happen between us. Looking back I should have told her how I felt.

    It's too late now, she is married I believed and has a daughter.

    Good to know she found someone, not surprised she is a good catch really.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeung Gor View Post
    I do regret it. I wonder how the relationship would have turn out. In my school, a lot of guys wanted her because she was the whole package, brains and beauty and she even plays sports. She and I have the most fate out of all the girls I ever met. By that I meant I ran into her in odd places. She hated me for a long time when I rejected her. She wouldn't say hi to me when we bump into each other in the street, I don't blame her I broke her heart.

    6 yrs after I rejected her, I met her at a BBQ outing in the beach. That day I wanted to apologize to her and told her that I had liked her all along. She was surprised to see me there. And she and I sat close to the shores all by ourself and just talk about our lives and where we are heading. The fact she was open and nice to me again, I thought she had move on so I didn't bring up what had happen between us. Looking back I should have told her how I felt.

    It's too late now, she is married I believed and has a daughter.

    Good to know she found someone, not surprised she is a good catch really.
    Thanks for sharing and what a sad story...I guess I can understand in some ways why you rejected her. Was this back in high school?? Luckily, I have never had to reject anyone nor have I ever been rejected by anyone. I can imagine myself having to do it if it was back then, but I never had anyone chase or like me. However, IF it is now then I would give most guys that likes me a chance(IF I also like him too) since I am getting old and all and need to find my guy one day...

    I guess it is also timing and fate too. I have never thought of timing as being so important. However, I have learned through the years how important it is. It is also partly dependant on fate too. I guess maybe it was not meant to be. You should not feel bad and it is great that she has moved on and is married now. Are you still friends with her?? I guess it is a bit awkward since she is married now...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    1,288

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeung Gor View Post
    I do regret it. I wonder how the relationship would have turn out. In my school, a lot of guys wanted her because she was the whole package, brains and beauty and she even plays sports. She and I have the most fate out of all the girls I ever met. By that I meant I ran into her in odd places. She hated me for a long time when I rejected her. She wouldn't say hi to me when we bump into each other in the street, I don't blame her I broke her heart.

    6 yrs after I rejected her, I met her at a BBQ outing in the beach. That day I wanted to apologize to her and told her that I had liked her all along. She was surprised to see me there. And she and I sat close to the shores all by ourself and just talk about our lives and where we are heading. The fact she was open and nice to me again, I thought she had move on so I didn't bring up what had happen between us. Looking back I should have told her how I felt.

    It's too late now, she is married I believed and has a daughter.

    Good to know she found someone, not surprised she is a good catch really.
    that's too bad you should have been with her too see what the future holds. now it's too late

  5. #25
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Exodus View Post
    that's too bad you should have been with her too see what the future holds. now it's too late
    Yea, it is indeed really sad... Now you have to live with thinking what could have been... I guess it just wasn't meant to be...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Yeung Gor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,734

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    Thanks for sharing and what a sad story...I guess I can understand in some ways why you rejected her. Was this back in high school?? Luckily, I have never had to reject anyone nor have I ever been rejected by anyone. I can imagine myself having to do it if it was back then, but I never had anyone chase or like me. However, IF it is now then I would give most guys that likes me a chance(IF I also like him too) since I am getting old and all and need to find my guy one day...

    I guess it is also timing and fate too. I have never thought of timing as being so important. However, I have learned through the years how important it is. It is also partly dependant on fate too. I guess maybe it was not meant to be. You should not feel bad and it is great that she has moved on and is married now. Are you still friends with her?? I guess it is a bit awkward since she is married now...
    It happen in the summer before my first year of high school, we had known each throughout Jr. High. We ended going to different high schools though. So I was still young and thought I wasn't ready for dating yet even though I liked her. Had she asked me the following year when I started High school I would have said yes, that's actually the year I started dating. And there is another reason why she hates me. I happen to date this cheerleader from her school. She doesn't like her because she's kinda ditsy. I don't even know why I went out with her really. Probably out of curiosity. Anyways, I ended that relationship because the drama was too much. So yea, although there is fate between us, the timing wasn't right. That's life.

    And no I am not friends with her, the last we spoke was at the BBQ. I'm not sad actually, I am happy for her really.

    Yes, timing is so crucial.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeung Gor View Post
    It happen in the summer before my first year of high school, we had known each throughout Jr. High. We ended going to different high schools though. So I was still young and thought I wasn't ready for dating yet even though I liked her. Had she asked me the following year when I started High school I would have said yes, that's actually the year I started dating. And there is another reason why she hates me. I happen to date this cheerleader from her school. She doesn't like her because she's kinda ditsy. I don't even know why I went out with her really. Probably out of curiosity. Anyways, I ended that relationship because the drama was too much. So yea, although there is fate between us, the timing wasn't right. That's life.

    And no I am not friends with her, the last we spoke was at the BBQ. I'm not sad actually, I am happy for her really.

    Yes, timing is so crucial.
    WOW, thanks for sharing and your story really proves just how important timing is... I guess it just was not meant to be and you guys just did not have fate. I am glad that you are not sad and are happy for her... That is the healthy thing to do...
    But then again, even if you did date her back then, who knows if it would have worked out or not?? There are plenty of others in this world and there are several people for each of us, not just one.
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  8. #28
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,489

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeung Gor View Post
    It happen in the summer before my first year of high school, we had known each throughout Jr. High. We ended going to different high schools though. So I was still young and thought I wasn't ready for dating yet even though I liked her. Had she asked me the following year when I started High school I would have said yes, that's actually the year I started dating. And there is another reason why she hates me. I happen to date this cheerleader from her school. She doesn't like her because she's kinda ditsy. I don't even know why I went out with her really. Probably out of curiosity. Anyways, I ended that relationship because the drama was too much. So yea, although there is fate between us, the timing wasn't right. That's life.

    And no I am not friends with her, the last we spoke was at the BBQ. I'm not sad actually, I am happy for her really.

    Yes, timing is so crucial.
    What is with this "not ready" stuff? I thought only girls have that excuse.

    Cmon she's hot, and she's nice right? That's all that matters. So the relationship may not have worked out, who cares? You are not with her now, so the result is the same. At least if you went for it - I mean jeez you don't know how lucky you are to have a catch throw herself at you - you could have enjoyed your time together.

    Of course, if you have hotties routinely throwing themselves at you, then that one time doesn't matter, I guess.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

    Jiang Bao's Karaoke Corner

  9. #29
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,866

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    What is with this "not ready" stuff? I thought only girls have that excuse.

    Cmon she's hot, and she's nice right? That's all that matters. So the relationship may not have worked out, who cares? You are not with her now, so the result is the same. At least if you went for it - I mean jeez you don't know how lucky you are to have a catch throw herself at you - you could have enjoyed your time together.

    Of course, if you have hotties routinely throwing themselves at you, then that one time doesn't matter, I guess.
    I know of guys who don't want to get into a relationship because they don't feel ready to be in one, and thus have turned down perfectly attractive women because of it, there's nothing wrong with that. Some guys are more serious when it comes to relationships, and would rather wait so they can be in a meaningful relationship instead of going into a relationship just for fun.

    It's just a personal difference.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Yeung Gor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,734

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    What is with this "not ready" stuff? I thought only girls have that excuse.
    I was just too young at the time, my mind was not even thinking about relationships. I was too occupy with video games and playing basketball with my friends.

    That was one of two times in my life that I wasn't ready for a relationship. The other time it happen was when I met this awesome girl at work, she was a customer that frequent our shops and she stays extra long to talk with me and she gave me many hints that she likes me, but my gf just break up with me not long ago, so my heart was still shattered so I was not ready to jump into another one. Looking back, this girl could have been something special. she had many qualities I like. She was ave looking but I still find her cute. She's smart and passionate as well. We could talk very openly, there was no small talks between us and she could say what's on her mind. I like that. But again the timing was bad, and I didn't pursue her and I quite the job the next couple of weeks because I was moving away. I actually regret about this girl even more than the previous one. But again she caught me at the wrong time and nothing became of it...

    So it isn't strange to "not be ready" for a relationship. It rarely happens but it does sometimes.
    Last edited by Yeung Gor; 05-19-09 at 11:08 PM.

  11. #31
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,489

    Default

    I can understand the second one, but not too much the first one. It wasn't like you were committing to marrying her. At that point, it was just gonna be hanging out and maybe some sexy time (as Borat would say) if things progressed. But the first step is just to hang out and see if you can be a couple.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

    Jiang Bao's Karaoke Corner

  12. #32
    Senior Member tweety365's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,478

    Default

    I read this article awhile back about men dating wonderful women, but would not commit to serious relationship/marriage because they didn't feel like settling down yet. Once they feel ready to settle down, the women they choose may not be as great as their previous girlfriends. So timing does play a very important factor.

  13. #33
    Senior Member Yeung Gor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,734

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    I can understand the second one, but not too much the first one. It wasn't like you were committing to marrying her. At that point, it was just gonna be hanging out and maybe some sexy time (as Borat would say) if things progressed. But the first step is just to hang out and see if you can be a couple.
    haha you must of forgotten how it was to be a kid if you didn't understand the first scenario.

  14. #34
    Senior Member Ghaleon's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    3,555

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    I met up with this friend (not that close) over the weekend. We were catching up and the topic changed to personal lives and she mentioned someone had been pursuing her. Of course, I asked more about it. She said she liked him but she rejected him because she isn’t sure that it would work out. Now she’s not happy that he hasn’t continued to pursue her, which makes her think that she was right to reject him because he wasn’t serious about her.

    I mean, isn’t crazy to reject somebody and then get mad that he’s still not pursuing you??? Is that an ego problem or is that just some crazy mind game?
    That's almost like player mentality. i have a friend that does that to every guy, even ones that she likes. in the beginning she might be kinda interested, but as soon as the guy throws himself at her she starts losing interest. It's kind of messed up, really.

  15. #35
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghaleon View Post
    That's almost like player mentality. i have a friend that does that to every guy, even ones that she likes. in the beginning she might be kinda interested, but as soon as the guy throws himself at her she starts losing interest. It's kind of messed up, really.
    Sorry but that friend of yours seems really messed up... If she continues on like that, she will not have anyone...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  16. #36
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Posts
    13,111

    Default

    I've read in asianfanatics where a girl ask people for advice. The problem is a male good friend of hers has started to become interested in her and she didn't know what to do. She never thought of liking him in a romantic way because she never thought he would like her because he's handsome and popular and she felt herself isn't. She also worried that other girls in school will be mean to her if she dated the guy and she also felt she couldn't handle many girls interested in her guy. She also questioned why the handsome popular guy will like her. From her words, I think she did like the guy.

    Many advised her to give the guy a chance, that she should have more confidence in herself. But, she's still not convinced.

    So, the guy finally confessed and she rejected him.

    What a waste. They are good friends, so, there must be something in her that attracted the guy. Girls always whine about guys being shallow and only attracted to physical appearance and now, here's a guy who likes a girl for who she is and the girl keep thinking she's not beautiful enough and how come the guy likes her. Sigh.

    http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index...owtopic=645268
    Last edited by kidd; 07-28-09 at 03:57 AM.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  17. #37
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    ( @ )( @ )
    Posts
    4,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Girls always whine about guys being shallow and only attracted to physical appearance and now, here's a guy who likes a girl for who she is and the girl keep thinking she's not beautiful enough and how come the guy likes her. Sigh.
    See, guys, ugly or hot, women are full of bullsh!t drama. Just go for the hot ones - at least you can explain to others & yourself why you're putting up with her sh!t.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  18. #38
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,866

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    See, guys, ugly or hot, women are full of bullsh!t drama. Just go for the hot ones - at least you can explain to others & yourself why you're putting up with her sh!t.
    We have the Crazy Hot Scale for a reason:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zdGBL0PhJE
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  19. #39
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    5,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    I've read in asianfanatics where a girl ask people for advice. The problem is a male good friend of hers has started to become interested in her and she didn't know what to do. She never thought of liking him in a romantic way because she never thought he would like her because he's handsome and popular and she felt herself isn't. She also worried that other girls in school will be mean to her if she dated the guy and she also felt she couldn't handle many girls interested in her guy. She also questioned why the handsome popular guy will like her. From her words, I think she did like the guy.

    Many advised her to give the guy a chance, that she should have more confidence in herself. But, she's still not convinced.

    So, the guy finally confessed and she rejected him.

    What a waste. They are good friends, so, there must be something in her that attracted the guy. Girls always whine about guys being shallow and only attracted to physical appearance and now, here's a guy who likes a girl for who she is and the girl keep thinking she's not beautiful enough and how come the guy likes her. Sigh.

    http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index...owtopic=645268
    I have seen that situation quite a bit in real life actually. ONe of my cousin's told me that she once went to a class with a really attractive guy that had a very unattractive girlfriend. One of my brothers who is pretty attractive married a very unattractive girl, so guys are not always really shallow. I have seen good looking guys with not so great looking ones in real life all the time.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and also if they are good friends then the guy would know about what kind of person she is, not just her looks. I think it is normal for the opposite sex friends to cross paths and like each other in that way. I have seen that a lot but of course, it does not happen in every case.

    It is a big waste that she rejected him though. Maybe it just was not meant to be or the timing was not right yet?? Fate works in strange ways at times. sigh...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  20. #40
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Posts
    13,111

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    It is a big waste that she rejected him though. Maybe it just was not meant to be or the timing was not right yet?? Fate works in strange ways at times. sigh...
    It's not fate. It's the girl's lack of confidence in herself and the guy that caused it. Maybe if the guy is less attractive and popular, she would have accepted him. And she kept focusing on the physical attraction part. One example of what she wrote.

    Question:
    Does he shows anymore signs to show he is really interest in you?

    Her answer:
    He does!
    WhenI told him I can't be his gf I saw the disappointment in his face.
    But how I said, is it only coz he feels comfortable with me or do I really turn him on not only with my character, but also bodily....??
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •