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Thread: chivalry is still alive?

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by BearBearNweather View Post
    I don't see the need or reason to have my chair being pulled for me or peeling my shrimps. Opening the door is a sweet gesture but I don't see the need for that too. And opening the car door is ridiculous.

    However I do find it irritating when the man enters the lift first and doesn't press the open button and he's also the 1st person to step out of the lift. Worse, he doesn't offer to carry shopping bags (not ladies' shopping but say grocery) or when he does, he only takes the lightest, leaving the poor girl struggling with the heaviest.

    Have you seen male customers telling female sales assistants half their size to carry heavy products to the cashier counters while they happily followed empty-handed? I know they are customers and they have no intention to date those sales assistants but I don't think it will kill them to at least carry some themselves.

    I have seen guys carrying (not temporarily holding) their girlfriends'/wives' handbag in the streets, that's ugly.
    oh the handbag thingy too , i've seen it too... a little weird for me IMO haha.

  2. #22
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Okie then. Just noticed a trend. If you say it’s not, then it’s not.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

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  3. #23
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BearBearNweather View Post
    Have you seen male customers telling female sales assistants half their size to carry heavy products to the cashier counters while they happily followed empty-handed? I know they are customers and they have no intention to date those sales assistants but I don't think it will kill them to at least carry some themselves.
    Why? They're the customers and men & women are equal now. If you want equality, carry the damn things. If you're not strong enough, well consider that your workout. Get fitter!

    Would you even blink & complain if it were male sales assistants having to carry the heavy products? No, right?

    Would you agree that male and female sales assistants should get paid the same wage? Yes, right?

    So lift the bloody things, woman!
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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  4. #24
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    Absolutely, it's a two-way thing. It kind of remind me of "transmutation", or the more familiar word - alchemy.
    Yea, it should be a 2 way thing. You must give and take in a friendship/relationship. I have always taken care of guys(only blood related since I never had a boyfriend) and enjoy taking care of people. However, I would not mind being taken care of at times. It is totally unfair for the girl or guy to sit on their butt and make the other person do all of the work. I think there should be more of a balance.

    About peeling the shrimp, I would do that for my boyfriend(if I ever have one later on) since I don't see what the big deal is. I think it is important for guys and girls to be more independent and learn how to do things themselves instead of making others do things for them. However, at times it is nice to show the other person that you care about them by doing things for them just like how you would do things for your parents, family and friends.
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  5. #25
    Senior Member BearBearNweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Why? They're the customers and men & women are equal now. If you want equality, carry the damn things. If you're not strong enough, well consider that your workout. Get fitter!

    Would you even blink & complain if it were male sales assistants having to carry the heavy products? No, right?

    Would you agree that male and female sales assistants should get paid the same wage? Yes, right?

    So lift the bloody things, woman!
    If the male sales assistant who is assisting me carries several items I am going to buy, I'll carry all or at least some myself. If it's heavy, I will carry together with him. We are heading to the cashier counter anyway.

    And I think the female sales assistant gets less pay and whether wages should be the same for the same job between genders, it depends. I am not one of those who links everything to gender equality and insists on it, neither do I believe a female should be submissive nor a female should behave as if she needs to be served like a queen by the male.

    You sound angry

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    Yea, it should be a 2 way thing. You must give and take in a friendship/relationship. I have always taken care of guys(only blood related since I never had a boyfriend) and enjoy taking care of people. However, I would not mind being taken care of at times. It is totally unfair for the girl or guy to sit on their butt and make the other person do all of the work. I think there should be more of a balance.



    About peeling the shrimp, I would do that for my boyfriend(if I ever have one later on) since I don't see what the big deal is. I think it is important for guys and girls to be more independent and learn how to do things themselves instead of making others do things for them. However, at times it is nice to show the other person that you care about them by doing things for them just like how you would do things for your parents, family and friends.
    Agree. Be it females or males, people like to be pampered now and then and the giver can be as happy as the recipient. A friend of mine likes peeling shrimp and she peels for everyone when we go for dinner
    Last edited by BearBearNweather; 07-14-09 at 02:43 AM.

  6. #26
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BearBearNweather View Post
    neither do I believe a female should be submissive
    Submission is actually quite good in certain cases .
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  7. #27
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    HAHA @ the responses. wow.

    anyways, i don't expect him to do any of the acts mentioned.. but as someone said, they're just gentlemanly acts and they look good doing it i don't need them to peel the shells off the shrimps (WTF) nor do i need them to open my car door (uh..) but i'd like it if they held the door open for me when we go somewhere. obviously if i get to the door first, i wouldn't be standing and waiting like an idiot until he reaches the door. i'll open it myself but somehow, all the guys i have dated managed to reach the door before me anyways.

    and yeah, i see it as a two-way balanced thing. be a gentleman and i'll be a lady you can be the boss outside of the home but i'll be boss inside.
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  8. #28
    Senior Member yittz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay &!* View Post
    HAHA @ the responses. wow.

    and yeah, i see it as a two-way balanced thing. be a gentleman and i'll be a lady you can be the boss outside of the home but i'll be boss inside.
    And wives still wonder why their husband spend as much time outside of their home as possible.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yittz View Post
    And wives still wonder why their husband spend as much time outside of their home as possible.
    HAHA.
    as long as he do what he needs to do- i'll do what i need to do for him. again, it's that two way thing. do what i say and i'll happily be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room, and a ***** in the bedroom.
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  10. #30
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Sorry, I'm going to have to break with most of the guys here. Although some of the things, I've never done or really even seen done (shelling shrimp? really?), I have no qualms against doing things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, or even helping carry her bags. Why? Well, simply put, she's my girl. I like to take care of her. If a few small gestures that don't cost me anything will make her feel happy/taken care of, why not? I'll take care of her, and in turn, I expect her to take care of me as well. Isn't that the clinical definition of a relationship?

    The OP stated that 'he is out to have fun', and doesn't really want to have to 'care' about what his girl wants. Well, he shouldn't be too surprised if his girl doesn't really care about him and what he wants either, and shouldn't be too surprised he doesn't have a girl. If you just want to have fun eating/playing/taking care of yourself, then go play with yourself.
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  11. #31
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    If you just want to have fun eating/playing/taking care of yourself, then go play with yourself.
    ahahahaha I like it.

    I don't mind opening doors and stuff either cuz I wanna do it. If she makes it like I HAVE to do these things, then I would tell her to suck it.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
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  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    I don't mind opening doors and stuff either cuz I wanna do it. If she makes it like I HAVE to do these things, then I would tell her to suck it.
    No disagreements there.
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  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Sorry, I'm going to have to break with most of the guys here. Although some of the things, I've never done or really even seen done (shelling shrimp? really?), I have no qualms against doing things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, or even helping carry her bags. Why? Well, simply put, she's my girl. I like to take care of her. If a few small gestures that don't cost me anything will make her feel happy/taken care of, why not? I'll take care of her, and in turn, I expect her to take care of me as well. Isn't that the clinical definition of a relationship?

    The OP stated that 'he is out to have fun', and doesn't really want to have to 'care' about what his girl wants. Well, he shouldn't be too surprised if his girl doesn't really care about him and what he wants either, and shouldn't be too surprised he doesn't have a girl. If you just want to have fun eating/playing/taking care of yourself, then go play with yourself.
    you can have fun with people who doesn't need you to do all that stuff just to show that they have power over you.

  14. #34
    Senior Member BearBearNweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded WenEr View Post
    Submission is actually quite good in certain cases .
    I know, sigh but I never learn my lessons One day, one day I will be able to do it.



    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Sorry, I'm going to have to break with most of the guys here. Although some of the things, I've never done or really even seen done (shelling shrimp? really?), I have no qualms against doing things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, or even helping carry her bags. Why? Well, simply put, she's my girl. I like to take care of her. If a few small gestures that don't cost me anything will make her feel happy/taken care of, why not? I'll take care of her, and in turn, I expect her to take care of me as well. Isn't that the clinical definition of a relationship?
    While I still don't like the idea of having the guy carrying the girl's bag (but that's my opinion, please ignore me ), your girl is a lucky female for all the other little gestures.

  15. #35
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    you can have fun with people who doesn't need you to do all that stuff just to show that they have power over you.
    If you read his post, he wasn't talking about "having power" over someone. He wants to do so because he cares.
    It's never about power or mind games in a true relationship. You do things for each other because you care and want to, not because you want to exhibit more power or gain more power.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  16. #36
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Sorry, I'm going to have to break with most of the guys here. Although some of the things, I've never done or really even seen done (shelling shrimp? really?), I have no qualms against doing things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, or even helping carry her bags. Why? Well, simply put, she's my girl. I like to take care of her. If a few small gestures that don't cost me anything will make her feel happy/taken care of, why not? I'll take care of her, and in turn, I expect her to take care of me as well. Isn't that the clinical definition of a relationship?

    The OP stated that 'he is out to have fun', and doesn't really want to have to 'care' about what his girl wants. Well, he shouldn't be too surprised if his girl doesn't really care about him and what he wants either, and shouldn't be too surprised he doesn't have a girl. If you just want to have fun eating/playing/taking care of yourself, then go play with yourself.
    Yeah, seriously.
    It's not required, but they're nice sweet gestures to win the girl's heart-- afterall, you're showing the world that this "girl" is diff. than all the other girls out there. if you're going to treat us like one of your other buddies, you want us to watch over you when you're sick, surprise and bring lunch to you during your lunch break, or give other forms of special treatment? and don't tell me these things we do for you don't matter or is not expected in a relationship. give and take. seems like some of ya'll got an ego full of shit.
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay &!* View Post
    Yeah, seriously.
    It's not required, but they're nice sweet gestures to win the girl's heart-- afterall, you're showing the world that this "girl" is diff. than all the other girls out there. if you're going to treat us like one of your other buddies, you want us to watch over you when you're sick, surprise and bring lunch to you during your lunch break, or give other forms of special treatment? and don't tell me these things we do for you don't matter or is not expected in a relationship. give and take. seems like some of ya'll got an ego full of shit.
    i don't agree with the ego thing... it's not about ego, it's just being fair to both sides.

    normally if girls do things for a guy it's call "desperate" but if guys do things for girls it's "ok" "normal". I find it a little odd.

  18. #38
    Senior Member KeongJai's Avatar
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    of course it's still alive. emergency and enforcement services save and protect people all the time.

  19. #39
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    i don't agree with the ego thing... it's not about ego, it's just being fair to both sides.

    normally if girls do things for a guy it's call "desperate" but if guys do things for girls it's "ok" "normal". I find it a little odd.
    This sounds like the typical high school mentality to relationships.
    Hopefully, only those still in high school actually believe it.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  20. #40
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post

    normally if girls do things for a guy it's call "desperate" but if guys do things for girls it's "ok" "normal". I find it a little odd.
    I've never heard of that before, seriously.
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