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Thread: Bus Uncle vs. Wimpy Nerd

  1. #21
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    I'm with "standing up for one's self" or even defending your friend in distress (per se), just as I've did years back except that skinny tattoo-ed drunk is obviously a drunk ex-con....and maybe a nutcase, more or less. Say, if that Bus uncle trully is suffering from a chemical breakdown in his head, just keep calm and call the mental institution. That's where he belongs.
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 12-13-09 at 09:04 PM.
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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    Bus Uncle may have been loud and way over-reacted, but compared to something who would take abuse from some middle aged dude, he's better by default. I can understand tolerating it if he was up against several guys or if the bully was likely a gang member (in that situation the right thing to do is to just shut up), but it was just some random older dude that the younger dude should have been able to take in a fight if it came down to it (if he wasn't powerless).
    Wait a minute here. You are saying it takes balls for an old man to berate some kid, someone you wouldn't find dangerous at first glance. But if the person berating you is someone that you perceive could be dangerous to you, you shut up like and put up?

    Where I come from, having balls is being scared, or perceiving danger in something, and doing it anyway.


    I am sorry, but if you are someone who would not fight back if some random lone stranger pointed a finger in your face for 6 minutes and said he f'ed your mother multiple times and totally pwned you, you are a loser.

    I don't advocate going around seeking confrontations, but there are situations where you must stand up for yourself.
    How many 5 year olds have you beat up for annoying you and making fun of you? Little kids are not even worth the effort of dealing with, neither are crazy people you don't even know. What do you have to prove by paying them any attention?

  3. #23
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    I agree with JW and RWX. Why bother with a crazy idiot. Judging by the uncle's behaviour, things will just get worse if the young man had retaliated in any way.

    It's not worth wasting energy and effort with a crazy old man.
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  4. #24
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    I would love to do others some justice by sending that nutcase to where he trully belongs.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

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  5. #25
    Senior Member Cesare's Avatar
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    As for crazy people and weirdos on public transportation - it's not like we don't have any but they generally tend to be less loud and less aggressive.
    ...Now I'm not talking about groups of drunk students that plague night buses between midnight and 2 AM. During those hours, the overall level of noise - and tolerance to it - is considerably higher than during the rest of the day (and night).
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  6. #26
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded WenEr View Post
    I actually just watched the video of the event. Seriously, the kid is anything but a wimp! He totally humoured the old guy and got a few wise cracks in (Maybe I should've patted you on the head ... awesome). He's doing what any rational, normal person would do when in a situation like this. Just humour the "crazy" old guy and have a laugh about it after. If you paid attention to the kid's body language, he was very chill about the situation and was clearly just humouring the guy.
    You have great observation skill. The nerd actually admitted to what you observe in a later interview. He said he was not afraid at that time and the few responses he gave during tirade was just to egg the old guy more (to make him continue making a fool of himself).
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  7. #27
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    It's actually pretty embarassing to speak loudly on the bus, let alone shout.

    I believe "fight back" or "argue back" would show a distinct lack of class, and as well ungentlemanly. Moreover, the person confronting is a senior which I believe to be at least 20 years old older.

    I'm not trying to say the bus uncle is right (of course he's not right), but as a junior the least you could do is to shut up and just let him rant finish. Confronting him straight on would cause distress to those around, which would be unfair and very unnecessary.

    It hasn't gone to the stage where the bus uncle gets physical, that would definitely warrant another opinion from me.
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  8. #28
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banh Mi View Post
    Wait a minute here. You are saying it takes balls for an old man to berate some kid, someone you wouldn't find dangerous at first glance. But if the person berating you is someone that you perceive could be dangerous to you, you shut up like and put up?

    Where I come from, having balls is being scared, or perceiving danger in something, and doing it anyway.

    How many 5 year olds have you beat up for annoying you and making fun of you? Little kids are not even worth the effort of dealing with, neither are crazy people you don't even know. What do you have to prove by paying them any attention?
    Yup, it even takes balls to berate some stranger when you perceive an offense. The young guy turned out to be the wimp that he looks like, but he could have had guts to yell back or fight. He didn’t, so Bus Uncle was lucky. Avoiding gang members is just common sense. Except in special situations where confrontation is unavoidable to protect yourself and friends and family, leave them alone.

    Btw, Bus Uncle is not crazy. The stuff he said may have been a rant, but it wasn’t a rambling of a nutjob. He may not be a good guy, but he has his marbles. Check out his interviews.

    No, I have not beaten up any kids. I know (or I hope, for your own sake) you are just being tongue in cheek. But the deal is I am NOT saying you should go around with a short fuse and picking fights. I clearly said that above. What I am saying is that when some guy berates you for more than 6 minutes, you have to stand up for yourself. I live in New York, where we have a reputation for being rude. I have taken public transportation thousands of times. I have not seen anything like this on the subway or bus. It’s way beyond rudeness, like I said before, and warrants a reaction.

    In contrast, check out the vid of the Chinese lady who fought back against a black lady who punched her on a SF bus. She rocked. She’s someone to be proud of.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Bangs's Avatar
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    If a wimp keeps on being a wimp then he shall stay that way for the rest of his life. Bullies bully wimps because nobody dares stand up to them. Sure its easier to just let the bully be but when does it stop? Do we have to wait for them to go overboard before we do something?

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    You have great observation skill. The nerd actually admitted to what you observe in a later interview. He said he was not afraid at that time and the few responses he gave during tirade was just to egg the old guy more (to make him continue making a fool of himself).
    It's pretty obvious when you look at the video.
    The kid's entire body was very relaxed, his arms were spread out, and he had a very calm body posture. You can't see his face clearly, but if you could, I bet he'd be having an expression where he'd be like trying hard not to laugh. Also, the fact that he wagged him fingers at the old guy and even shook his hand indicates that he's not afraid of him, and only wanted to humour him. If he was actually afraid, his body would have been much more tense and closer huddled in together. Also, no way would he have stuck his fingers in front of the old guy's face nor would he have shook his hand (come on, if you're scared of someone, why would you even want them to take your hand or touch you). He also managed to get a few snide remarks in at the old guy, probably to humour him and piss him off a bit more ("Maybe I should've patted your head instead," "Go answer your phone"). The way he "apologized" to the old man was also very nonchalant and again, done to humour him.

    This kid is not a wimp, at least not in this situation. He handled things in a very humourous way (though clearly, the humour was subtle). He managed to make a fool out of the old guy without having to resort of physical or brute verbal confrontations.
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  11. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded WenEr View Post
    It's pretty obvious when you look at the video.
    The kid's entire body was very relaxed, his arms were spread out, and he had a very calm body posture. You can't see his face clearly, but if you could, I bet he'd be having an expression where he'd be like trying hard not to laugh. Also, the fact that he wagged him fingers at the old guy and even shook his hand indicates that he's not afraid of him, and only wanted to humour him. If he was actually afraid, his body would have been much more tense and closer huddled in together. Also, no way would he have stuck his fingers in front of the old guy's face nor would he have shook his hand (come on, if you're scared of someone, why would you even want them to take your hand or touch you). He also managed to get a few snide remarks in at the old guy, probably to humour him and piss him off a bit more ("Maybe I should've patted your head instead," "Go answer your phone"). The way he "apologized" to the old man was also very nonchalant and again, done to humour him.

    This kid is not a wimp, at least not in this situation. He handled things in a very humourous way (though clearly, the humour was subtle). He managed to make a fool out of the old guy without having to resort of physical or brute verbal confrontations.
    That's way cooler and neater than yelling back or punching the uncle. It shows that one do not necessarily have to scream or use the fists to fight back. What the young man did was kinda like taichi.

    He solved the issue well IMO. On the other hand, violence begets only violence. It also won't look good on him since his opponent is a senior.
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  12. #32
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Dunno about HK, but in LA, SF, and NYC...not all that uncommon to see weirdos and crazies on public transportation. Just avoid eye contact and stay the hell away from'm
    Is that one of those bad advices from our parents "don't make eye contact with strangers, esp the weird ones"? I reckon the majority of Asian boomer parents are just socially clueless.

    That has helped much in churning out one Asian wimp after another and is actually very ineffective in dealing with aggressive people in a non-Asian environment.

    I see Asian kids try that on nights out all the time - usually to avoid groups of semi-drunk white / black / Lebanese guys, and the results are:

    - Respect they have for Asians goes down the toilet
    - They know that it's easy to pick on and fvck with Asians
    - Some of they get madder as those skinny little Asian girly boys are avoiding them as if they're some disgusting non-human dirtbags -> b!tchslapping goes down.

    That last point is important. By not even acknowledging their presence, you present yourself as weak AND priggish.

    All you have to do is to look at their faces if they're in the way, have half a smile & strength in your eye contact, give a slight nod, a thumb up, followed by a "G'day mate" or "cheers to a good night" or something along that line, and the world will be a better place, plus the Asian race will start pumping out warriors again instead of sissies who watch K-pop dramas.
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  13. #33
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Yup, the Asian culture has somehow managed to raise a race full of half-males. Sure, genetically they may have the XY chromosome, but in terms of behavior, many can’t be described as true men. Don’t get me wrong, there ARE standup Asian men, it’s just that they are in the minority.

    Things may be better in China itself, but I am just very disappointed and disgusted at the apathy and selfishness I see out of FOBs here in NY. Just last night, as I was exiting the subway and climbing the stairs out of the station, I see ahead of me this old man (70’s, maybe 80’s even) struggling to carry a small cart downstairs. And these two FOB looking guys (I can tell by their hair style – you know, the one that many sissy idols sport, distinctive to Asian Asians.) coming down the stairs just skipped past him without even a look. So I ended up helping the man carry the thing back down the stairs. I mean for god’s sake, don’t THEY want someone to help their elderly parents or grandparents?
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  14. #34
    Senior Member pemberly's Avatar
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    i can understand standing up for yourself, but sometimes, it really is better to just avoid eye contact and walk away. in the US, someone could have a gun and shoot you. i ran into a weirdo a few weeks ago, and instead of starting anything, i walked away. why? bc she seriously looked like she would take out a needle and stab me with it.
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  15. #35
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    The kid did the right thing. Like someone else mentioned the kid did not look scared ..seemed pretty laid back. Anyways, what can you gain from fighting with a bum? are people going to think that your tough for beating him up? This type of b.s. happens everywhere...not really an issue...I give the kid props havign the self control and not punching the guy in the face.
    Last edited by JoeLee; 12-15-09 at 05:23 PM.

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by pemberly View Post
    i can understand standing up for yourself, but sometimes, it really is better to just avoid eye contact and walk away. in the US, someone could have a gun and shoot you. i ran into a weirdo a few weeks ago, and instead of starting anything, i walked away. why? bc she seriously looked like she would take out a needle and stab me with it.
    You're a girl, besides, there's a world of difference between the "I'm sh!tting my pants" eye contact and a strong, friendly one.

    If someone is in the mood to assault another, the worst thing you can do is to appear intimidated (avoiding eye contact, nervously walking away) by him/her.

    jiang bao, hear, hear, on the selfishness of rich spoilt FOBs.
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    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Is that one of those bad advices from our parents "don't make eye contact with strangers, esp the weird ones"? I reckon the majority of Asian boomer parents are just socially clueless.

    That has helped much in churning out one Asian wimp after another and is actually very ineffective in dealing with aggressive people in a non-Asian environment.

    I see Asian kids try that on nights out all the time - usually to avoid groups of semi-drunk white / black / Lebanese guys, and the results are:

    - Respect they have for Asians goes down the toilet
    - They know that it's easy to pick on and fvck with Asians
    - Some of they get madder as those skinny little Asian girly boys are avoiding them as if they're some disgusting non-human dirtbags -> b!tchslapping goes down.

    That last point is important. By not even acknowledging their presence, you present yourself as weak AND priggish.

    All you have to do is to look at their faces if they're in the way, have half a smile & strength in your eye contact, give a slight nod, a thumb up, followed by a "G'day mate" or "cheers to a good night" or something along that line, and the world will be a better place, plus the Asian race will start pumping out warriors again instead of sissies who watch K-pop dramas.
    Strawman argument. I don't see any reason you need to look away from drunk people of any ethnicity (hell, most of the time they look like fun). I'm talking about crazies. And out of curiosity, Candide, how much travel experience do you have out of Australia? I mean, "g'day mate"? Really? That's your advice?
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  18. #38
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Change "g'day mate" to whatever suitable for the occasion.

    As for the other question, a few places in East / Southeast Asia, South Asia, Western & Eastern Europe. Doesn't make much difference: people are similar at the core wherever you go.
    Last edited by Candide; 12-15-09 at 08:40 PM.
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  19. #39
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    Was teasing, Candyman. Still a strawman argument vis a vis drunk people and crazy people though.
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  20. #40
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a strawman. I have some experience dealing with crazy folks: good friend at a mental care place which I visit a lot, and being an entertainer doing shows for disabled people, many of whom are mentally ill, and physically interacting with them. One of the worst things those people experience is that normal people avoid them & don't even acknowledge their presence. This sometimes triggers their aggression and they may act on it.

    Now this doesn't mean that you get all chummy with them, as you have to set boundaries, but a simple acknowledgement while actually NOT inviting them to interact with you works much better than nervously turning your head the other way to avoid eye contact. Occasionally you get the odd crazy that you have to intimidate a little so that they respect your boundary (in their own oddball crazy way). But the trick is the same: establish yourself as a strong confident person with kindness, NEVER as the typical sh!t-scared nervous-wreck cold-faced SWPL wimp.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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