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Thread: Asian Men returning to homeland to find Wife

  1. #61
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post
    You know, now that I think about it...I don't have any female cousins that went back home to look for husbands. Not that it doesn't happen, but then we [as in the community, including myself] just assume that she's probably uneducated, or ugly...ehhh possibly poor with no means to support herself or parents...and a flagrant wh0re, or all of the above.

    Man, isn't that kind of a double standard? I am vexed with myself.
    You are funny with stating that line. somewhat artistically phrased, reminded me of a statement I read from Biography of Charlie Chaplin information provided by Geraldine Chaplin.
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 09-07-10 at 04:32 AM.
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  2. #62
    Senior Member Dirt's Avatar
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    Ladies and gentlemen, it's called a pre-nup.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    ouch that really sucks. (give you a big hug)
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  4. #64
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirt View Post
    Ladies and gentlemen, it's called a pre-nup.
    Pre-nups don't mean sh!t these days, especially if there are children involved. Ask Tiger Wood how good his pre-nup is.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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  5. #65
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Pre-nups don't mean sh!t these days, especially if there are children involved. Ask Tiger Wood how good his pre-nup is.
    Tiger Woods isn't the best of examples to use, is he?
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  6. #66
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    He is. He's a billionaire with a sh!t ton to lose so he'd have an army of best lawyers writing up the pre-nup for him.

    Your average man doesn't have access to that level of legal power and therefore is a lot more vulnerable.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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  7. #67
    Senior Member Dirt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Pre-nups don't mean sh!t these days, especially if there are children involved. Ask Tiger Wood how good his pre-nup is.
    Tiger Woods has other secrets to keep. Elin didn't walk away with a divorce settlement, she walked away with hush money. 99% of the people who get divorced have no need to pay that kind of money.

  8. #68
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    The moral of your story is not about marrying women from the homeland. It is this: if the guy is a chump who places women on a pedestal and dives into marriage head first, it doesn't matter where his wife comes from, he will still get fvcked over. And in America & the West, he will definitely get reamed by the divorce industry and the ironically named Family Court, whereas he may just get away with it (being a dumb & obedient provider for his family) elsewhere in the world where misandry isn't running rampant.

    It's a much harsher world than you think, kid, so toughen up.
    I agree. I do think the guy placed the woman on a pedestal but she still left. Makes it a bit uneasy to bear.

    ... my friend just find it hard to trust anyone anymore.
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  9. #69
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    well marriage is quite a highrisk contract to get yourselves into; but that's also why it makes things special. pre-nups is another one of those modern-creation nonsense; if you couldn't trust your spouse enough and think you needed one of those, you better not marry.

    if you did, then if anything happens, you have to bear the consequences of a marriage failure - otherwise marriage will become pretty meaningless; and modern day people will tell ya, "its just a piece of paper".

    well the reason is cos, modern people make it into this. with all the other nonsense that comes with marriage, humans have began to abuse this institution, reducing it to nothing more than a mere piece of paper.

    it wasnt just a piece of paper, and never should be.
    o wilku mowa...♪

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  10. #70
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    Good read fellas

    person going back to native homeland to get marry cause he/she cant get a wife/husband where they currently reside...only means one thing, they do not meet the expectations of the opposite sex whether its wealth, security, looks and personality attractiveness department....i got a few stories to share also

    i know a person who divorce his wife cause of some family investment fraud where he was the victim (loss $100k) so they settle everything out of court 50/50 on total assets, he got paid back his loss also...so what did the fool do? he went back to his homeland married some +20 yr old whose as old as his eldest son...bought her family and shit all these businesses so they can make a living for themselves, everything went belly up loss the lot, so now he returns back to foreign country with zero assets living on welfare and renting...i assume the new wife is going to dump his broke *** anyway after she gets her green card...I just lol when i hear about their updates cause u know with extended family members they are dogs, when they need you for a favor like financially they come to you, when they are well off and u need help, they are nowhere to be seen....

    another clown i know knocked up some intern student cause she was from some wealthy family, i assume he was a gold digger...i dont think she knows his family sells drugs, well rest of family are all in prison anyway...and she is outside with a baby as a single parent...i just lol at some extremes they go for a green card...

  11. #71
    Member mi do ri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    Sucks to be nice sometimes. But now you guys don't have to waste money and breaths on such people. Your story actually reminds me of my best friend's story. Her sister spent so much money to sponsor their cousins over and those cousins complained to their dad back in their home country saying that my friend's sister brought them over to be slaves and stuff. The said part was that my friend's sister only asked them to do some simple house chores and let them live there for free and gave them money and stuff. It's common sense that if you're staying with someone for free that you should at least help around the house or in other areas. Some people just need major beating of reality and good judgments into them.
    Less Than Perfect

  12. #72
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mi do ri View Post
    Sucks to be nice sometimes. But now you guys don't have to waste money and breaths on such people. Your story actually reminds me of my best friend's story. Her sister spent so much money to sponsor their cousins over and those cousins complained to their dad back in their home country saying that my friend's sister brought them over to be slaves and stuff. The said part was that my friend's sister only asked them to do some simple house chores and let them live there for free and gave them money and stuff. It's common sense that if you're staying with someone for free that you should at least help around the house or in other areas. Some people just need major beating of reality and good judgments into them.
    What happen to these ungrateful freeloaders now? Did your friend's sister send them back to their home country since they were so unhappy at your friend's sister's place?

    Honestly, if I live in someone's place for free and was given lodging and spending money, I would be too embarrassed to not give something back.
    Last edited by kidd; 10-31-10 at 11:12 PM.
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  13. #73
    Member mi do ri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    What happen to these ungrateful freeloaders now? Did your friend's sister send them back to their home country since they were so unhappy at your friend's sister's place?

    Honestly, if I live in someone's place for free and was given lodging and spending money, I would be too embarrassed to not give something back.
    The last I heard is that they moved out to live on their own. However, because of them, the relationship between their parents and my friend's parents worsen. Sometimes I think I'd rather be selfish than to help people out only to learn that they will turn against me.
    Less Than Perfect

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    I swear i replied to this topic like 5 years ago... not sure why it poped up to front page again lol.

    5 years ago I saw this same topic (not sure if it's in the same forum or not), and my reply would be totally different from now (since I just traveled back to Vietnam).

    I now have some insight of what those guys see.

    It's the number game.

    Imagine this (I'm gonna use Vietnamese as my example). In the US there are 1.5m vietnamese, in vietnam there are 86m packed into an area the size of California, specifically into 2 major city (Hochiminh city and it's capital Hanoi).

    Are the girls there better than the ones over here? That's hard to say, and I'm not gonna compare, but I'll tell you this, just because of the sheer number alone and the density, you will see more pretty girl just about everywhere you walk once you land into one of those cities.

    Now let's talk about status, in the US you earn about 50k a year (college degree w/e ect...), that's about the average income in the US. In vietnam, a college grad gets about 250 dollars to 300 a month (landing a decent job I might add), that pop you out to be 3.6k a year. 1 year working in the US earn about 14 years of salary in VN, your social status just got raised WAY UP.

    Given that situation, guys from the US will most likely land a better girl in VN than they do here without doing any work (better in term of looks, and dare I say it education too). But the MOST important thing is that no one really knows if these girls are falling for the guy or his money (all of a sudden he's a rich dude, and the same concept will apply to any rich person in the US or VN). And if I have to place a bet, I will always bet that the girl is going for the guy's money, for the simple fact that I never see a pretty girl dating an ugly old guy because of his personality, and I would do the same dam thing too.

    And to answer the OP's question, the reason why they do it... These guys lack the social skill (and I'm not going to mention look or money because even homeless dates) the inability to land a girl in their current country is majority due to their lack of social skills, then they meet a pretty girl who's really way beyond their level in terms of communication and social skills, and they get murdered, it's simple as that. Pretty gals are the king of socialization, communication and manipulation, no they're not born with those skills, society teaches them at an early age and quite frequently.

    Take me as an example, I know myself as a very well aware guy, who can see through situation and people fairly well (if not really well), the last time i fell for some pretty girl, even though I saw the through situation (the lies and the cover up), I lied to myself to see her in a better light, but my spider sense was too strong for me to follow through. Now I looked back and saw the thousands of guys that she dated, I'm glad I was not hooked in, at the same time I laugh @ how stupid and blind I was.

    Those guys that went back to their country to get a wife is in that same situation I described, except amplified like 100 times... it's like a spider web, once those guys are hooked in, without the experience dealing with such situation, they're so not getting out.
    Last edited by warlock110; 11-07-10 at 01:34 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    Are the girls there better than the ones over here? That's hard to say, and I'm not gonna compare, but I'll tell you this, just because of the sheer number alone and the density, you will see more pretty girl just about everywhere you walk once you land into one of those cities.
    the girls over there today know whats going on and they know what they can get, especially the hot looking ones, why settle for a Vietkieu, when they can be a mistress on the side or marry some rich person and be settle for time being or for life. These gals get showered with expensive goods like cars, houses and trips overseas...
    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    Now let's talk about status, in the US you earn about 50k a year (college degree w/e ect...), that's about the average income in the US. In vietnam, a college grad gets about 250 dollars to 300 a month (landing a decent job I might add), that pop you out to be 3.6k a year. 1 year working in the US earn about 14 years of salary in VN, your social status just got raised WAY UP.
    You been to the upper end masage parlors in vn? those girls at best can earn anywhere between AUS/US$4K-5k a month just from giving out happy endings and pussy. waitors earn like $100 a month, while programmers and office workers earn like $200-$1000 a month...

    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    And if I have to place a bet, I will always bet that the girl is going for the guy's money, for the simple fact that I never see a pretty girl dating an ugly old guy because of his personality, and I would do the same dam thing too.
    yeh this...then you have the dodgy tourists walking around with ugly prostitutes lmao...
    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    These guys lack the social skill (and I'm not going to mention look or money because even homeless dates) the inability to land a girl in their current country is majority due to their lack of social skills, then they meet a pretty girl who's really way beyond their level in terms of communication and social skills, and they get murdered, it's simple as that. Pretty gals are the king of socialization, communication and manipulation, no they're not born with those skills, society teaches them at an early age and quite frequently.
    another shit i see is the gals in the foreign country are either up thereselves or have high standards in what they are looking for, where the guy doesnt meet any of the criteria and force to look at the bottom of the food chain or head back home to vn to get something....Yes everyone wants to marry a pretty girl...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dai Hiep View Post
    the girls over there today know whats going on and they know what they can get, especially the hot looking ones, why settle for a Vietkieu, when they can be a mistress on the side or marry some rich person and be settle for time being or for life. These gals get showered with expensive goods like cars, houses and trips overseas...
    Again it's sheer number, the rich/poor gap in VN widen considerably, and since it's dam close to a 3rd world country, this gap is huge... there's not enough supply of those "filthy rich" dudes for all those girls. Ofcourse on 50k a year you're not gonna get a glamor super model, but I can assure you a much more decent looking girl who's willing to go with you than what you find in the US.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dai Hiep View Post
    You been to the upper end masage parlors in vn? those girls at best can earn anywhere between AUS/US$4K-5k a month just from giving out happy endings and pussy. waitors earn like $100 a month, while programmers and office workers earn like $200-$1000 a month...
    You're talking about prostitution, prostitutes in Nevada makes a ton of money too, that's not normal income. I have relatives over there, I know what the salary is, my cousin is a managing 3-4 different jewlery store from a big chain, 250 bucks a month, the neighbor is a head of accountant for a company, 500 bucks a month... so I gave a figure of 250-300 is more of a relative average rate for office worker, let just say that head of accountant isn't your run of the mill jobs.

    Personally I would probably not get a wife in Vietnam (even though I speak/write vietnamese fluently), the culture is just way too different, I don't want to have to sponsor her whole family to the US. And from what I see, (i'm 24), most girls/guys my age over there get married @ around 22-24, so I'm left with the unwanted or weirdo ones lol, I can definitely hit on the 18-20 ones but naw, if you think people are different over there, check out the 199X kids, they're totally on a different class. Dating one for fun, yes, marrying one? most likely no.

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    Warlock110 and Dai Hiep, shame on you two for putting all Vietnamese girls in such bad light. Did you two ever heard of something called LOVE?

  18. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    Warlock110 and Dai Hiep, shame on you two for putting all Vietnamese girls in such bad light. Did you two ever heard of something called LOVE?
    They didn't say all Vietnamese girls are like that. Just a lot. And their actions are understandable. Most people will want a better life for themselves, so if the opportunity comes, why not?

  19. #79
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Have you ever dated a Vietnamese woman?

    Oh wait, it's TC. Nevermind...
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    Warlock110 and Dai Hiep, shame on you two for putting all Vietnamese girls in such bad light. Did you two ever heard of something called LOVE?
    dude, where's the love when a young beautiful girl is dating a guy that's old enough to be her great grandpa?

    And i'm not saying all girls are like that, but it's kindda hard to know what they're thinking and you must take precaution... your judgment is real cloudy in front of a beautiful girl that you're falling for.

    guys that come back to their country for women, I think if they have a plan and stick to it, they might come out ahead (better leverage)... but once you're sponsoring your "wife" to the US, you have lost the game. If you want to marry a girl over there, stay there, and watch your money like a hawk, better yet, don't let her know you have money, it's too dam risky and put too much stress on the relationship (huge gap in financial makes a relationship very very hard), imagine you are a normal person (50-60k) a year trying to date a multi millionaire, same situation over there (except now you're the multi millionair).
    Last edited by warlock110; 11-16-10 at 02:53 AM.

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