The Yeung Gor Hatred Analysis Thread

[tape]

Anyway I definitely don't want to just derail this thread into my life's sob story, and I know plenty of kind folk in here will want to comment and give condolences, so I'll just say thanks in advance and not post anything further about it. If anyone has similar experiences and would like to exchange stories or anything like that, I'll be happy to via PM.

[kidd]

It's hard for me to take, because simply letting it go seems to send the message, "Hey, it's OK to abuse and hurt me. There are no negative consequences for doing that. Walk all over me any time you want, because I'm too unimportant for it to matter."

That's what I can't live down.

Then, get counselling to get this false belief out of your system. Keeping this hate did nothing other than keeping you in pain and making you look bad when you let it overcome you.

You want to continue writing hate posts and starting hate campaign against YG every few weeks when you are 40, 50, 60?

You certainly did not let anyone walk over you now. So, what for keeping that old memory?

I know letting go is easier said that done. But, you don't even want to try. There are a lot of professional that can help you do that.

Read this post of tape. Read the last 2 sentence. That's really useful.

http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showpost...2&postcount=79

[Ken Cheng]

You want to continue writing hate posts and starting hate campaign YG against every few weeks when you are 40, 50, 60?

I might not want it, but it'll happen unless I feel the scales are balanced.

What I need for that to happen: I want acknowledgement that what happened to me wasn't right and should not have happened.

It doesn't seem like a lot to ask for, and yet for all my struggles, I haven't gotten it yet.

[Ken Cheng]

I know letting go is easier said that done. But, you don't even want to try. There are a lot of professional that can help you do that.

Because letting go *can't* be OK. It means that those unhappy things that happened to me were right, fair, and SHOULD have happened.

[Guo Xiang]

Because letting go *can't* be OK. It means that those unhappy things that happened to me were right, fair, and SHOULD have happened.

Letting go is not about whether those things were right or wrong. It's about YOURSELF. It's about releasing yourself from things that happened in the past (that can't be changed) and which now STILL have you under their control.

Don't be the putty of those bad memories.

And one of the most important things about it is that you learnt lessons from what happened for example you learnt to stand up for yourself.

Bad experiences are bitter pills, no doubt, but sadly it is one of the best ways that a person can grow to become better.

You learning the good lessons out of it means you are already halfway there. NOW, letting go will complete the lesson. Nobody can change the past, but you can change yourself. Don't let those bad experiences deter you from that.

[tape]

If a drunk driver were to kill one of your friends' spouses or children, wouldn't you advise them to let go and continue with their life rather than spiral into nothingness?

Things happen that are neither right nor fair, and letting go and forgetting about it isn't a confession that you were wrong and those forces were right, it's just about maximizing what you do have right now. Economically speaking, those past events are sunk costs, and you shouldn't irrationally hold onto them if it costs you something now or in the future. I know, I know, easier said than done...but just acknowledging it is a small step in the right direction.

We need to find your address and pull a YG/XLN on you without you even realizing it. Carved onto your wall would be:

"Ken, for circumstances I can't tell you, I have to leave for 16 years. Please take care, enjoy life, and have a bright positive attitude for when I finally come back. You have done nothing wrong, and I cannot wait to finally marry you then !"
-Rayanne

[Ken Cheng]

We need to find your address and pull a YG/XLN on you without you even realizing it. Carved onto your wall would be:

"Ken, for circumstances I can't tell you, I have to leave for 16 years. Please take care, enjoy life, and have a bright positive attitude for when I finally come back. You have done nothing wrong, and I cannot wait to finally marry you then !"
-Rayanne

"Sigh." My most important teacher...the one who perhaps did more than any other to develop my writing skills (he was a writer/reporter for UPI for forty years and was at Pearl Harbor the day that the Japanese attacked)...spent a lifetime teaching reading and writing and other aspects of knowledge to others. When he died at the age of eighty-three, he had been a bachelor his entire life.

My granduncle, a Confucian scholar and school principal for many years in Hong Kong, who taught me so much about my Chinese heritage, also died a bachelor at the age of eighty-seven.

I look at the lives of my teacher and granduncle and I can't help but think...their fate will probably be mine as well.

[LuNaR]

dont let these evil yg/xln supporter make u like yg/xln and hate gj!!!

haha jokings aside, kidd/GX/tape have a point comrade

[Ken Cheng]

Letting go is not about whether those things were right or wrong. It's about YOURSELF. It's about releasing yourself from things that happened in the past (that can't be changed) and which now STILL have you under their control.

Don't be the putty of those bad memories.

And one of the most important things about it is that you learnt lessons from what happened for example you learnt to stand up for yourself.

Bad experiences are bitter pills, no doubt, but sadly it is one of the best ways that a person can grow to become better.

You learning the good lessons out of it means you are already halfway there. NOW, letting go will complete the lesson. Nobody can change the past, but you can change yourself. Don't let those bad experiences deter you from that.

One of the things that I continue to resent from those days is that I had to fend for myself. I had a whole group of people coming after me and nobody, NOBODY took an interest in helping, defending, or even sympathizing with me.

I had to learn, the hard way, to defend myself (and in so doing, often hurt myself even more), but just because I eventually did learn how to defend myself didn't mean I *liked* having to always go it alone.

That's why when I see Yeung Gor always getting sympathy and allies, it makes me sick.

[ByTmE]

Thx.

It's just I'm not going to be pouring my life story to everyone I meet. All the people I meet on a superficial will classify me as such, and shallow as it is, it's not a good feeling to know that the quick judgment passed on you will be being someone that has no ambitions and goals, and has not accomplished anything in his life.

It's not something I ever, ever wanted to be. I had goals to be a successful young person just like most people, and it's kind of disheartening to know I'll probably not have that chance. Selfish as it is, I often wish I could have had years of freedom and fun before settling down, and years of unbridled and wild experiences and it's led me to be more bitter than I've ever been. I've only recently come to terms emotionally that I'll just have change my whole outlook in life to ever be happy. I'll have to really be okay with what I have, instead of just settling for it and being bitter on the inside.

I took a five hour nap and woke up to...another page and your story. Thank you for sharing. It's always inspirational to hear of how someone gave up for love, but I do hope that you will find your peace and come to know that you did a great thing out of love that many cannot or simply will not do. Just willing to accept that you need to change your outlook is the first step to healing your inner soul...and I also direct that comment towards all the SPCNETers that have had to struggle with their selves.

[ByTmE]

One of the things that I continue to resent from those days is that I had to fend for myself. I had a whole group of people coming after me and nobody, NOBODY took an interest in helping, defending, or even sympathizing with me.

...well, it was a lesson well learned wasn't it? I've come to accept that if I want anything in life, I will have to work hard for it myself AND there will be people who will pray for the worst for me...::shrugs:: By nature, I am a happy person, and I think that it's my inner satisfaction and balance more than luck of any sort that has allowed me to move beyond my own negative experiences. Maybe you should spend some time reflecting on the the positive outcomes of your life lessons rather than the unfairness of life...

"Sigh." My most important teacher...the one who perhaps did more than any other to develop my writing skills (he was a writer/reporter for UPI for forty years and was at Pearl Harbor the day that the Japanese attacked)...spent a lifetime teaching reading and writing and other aspects of knowledge to others. When he died at the age of eighty-three, he had been a bachelor his entire life.

My granduncle, a Confucian scholar and school principal for many years in Hong Kong, who taught me so much about my Chinese heritage, also died a bachelor at the age of eighty-seven.

I look at the lives of my teacher and granduncle and I can't help but think...their fate will probably be mine as well.

...but their bachelorhood was certainly not the legacy that they left for you to remember, I hope. Sounds like you've had great mentors in your life. How lucky you are! I come from a culture where it is taught, "Give others the fruit of the tree, rather than show them where the tree is..." on one hand, it's self preservation [to save the teacher from being surpassed by the student]...but it's also selfishness. ::shrugs:: don't know why?

[Ken Cheng]

...well, it was a lesson well learned wasn't it? I've come to accept that if I want anything in life, I will have to work hard for it myself AND there will be people who will pray for the worst for me...::shrugs:: By nature, I am a happy person, and I think that it's my inner satisfaction and balance more than luck of any sort that has allowed me to move beyond my own negative experiences. Maybe you should spend some time reflecting on the the positive outcomes of your life lessons rather than the unfairness of life...


...but their bachelorhood was certainly not the legacy that they left for you to remember, I hope. Sounds like you've had great mentors in your life. How lucky you are! I come from a culture where it is taught, "Give others the fruit of the tree, rather than show them where the tree is..." on one hand, it's self preservation [to save the teacher from being surpassed by the student]...but it's also selfishness. ::shrugs:: don't know why?

I feel it is highly regrettable that both of my mentors (who interestingly enough, died only one day apart from each other) were not present when my girl cousins were subjecting me to that daily emotional torment. Had either of my mentors been present at the time, I think their presence would have made a big difference. At least somebody would have been in my corner.

[kidd]

One of the things that I continue to resent from those days is that I had to fend for myself. I had a whole group of people coming after me and nobody, NOBODY took an interest in helping, defending, or even sympathizing with me.

I had to learn, the hard way, to defend myself (and in so doing, often hurt myself even more), but just because I eventually did learn how to defend myself didn't mean I *liked* having to always go it alone.

That's why when I see Yeung Gor always getting sympathy and allies, it makes me sick.

Tons of people sympathise with you when you first told your Diana/Rayann story and tons of people try to help you, give you comfort, give you advice.

I guess you forgot all that and just remember the bitterness.

At that time, I also PMed you info on EFT and other things I hope can help you (I bet I'm not the only one who did so). But, you forgot all that the moment you think I 'betrayed' you over argument on a fictional character. I'm not asking you to thank me or feel indebted or anything. Just want to point out your selective memory and things you choose to remember.

You tend to go 'Woe is me. Everyone is against me and I'm all alone'. But, in actual fact there has been MANY who has tried to help you, comfort you. Even now tape is trying to help you by telling his story.

People here bothered to give you advice again and again and again (even though it's not music to the ears sometimes) because they actually care for you.

[Ken Cheng]

Tons of people sympathise with you when you first tell your Diana/Rayann story and tons of people try to help you, give you comfort, give you advice.

I guess you forgot all that and just remember the bitterness.

At that time, I also PMed you info on EFT and other things I hope can help you (I bet I'm not the only one who did so). But, you forgot all that the moment you think I 'betrayed' you over argument on a fictional character. I'm not asking you to thank me or feel indebted or anything. Just want to point out your selective memory and things you choose to remember.

You tend to go 'Poor me. Everyone is against me and I'm all alone'. But, in actual fact there has been MANY who has tried to help you, comfort you.

But, there's only so much sympathy one can extend when one's sympathy not only does not help, but, make your 'Poor me' even louder and stronger (until you actually created a poll to ask people to choose between you and YG).

You only absorb the comfort but the advice, the help, you bypass. Then, you continue to be stuck in the cycle of 'No one cares for me, I'm so alone'- someone extend sympathy - 'I'm so grateful. Thanks for the comfort, it helps' - feeling hate and anger again - 'No one cares for me, I'm so alone' - a new person extend sympathy - 'I'm so grateful, Thanks for the comfort' - feeling hate and anger over the same issue again - 'No one cares for me, I'm so alone, everyone is against'.

Lastly, you still have your fellow YG haters with you. So, how is that considered 'no allies and all alone'?

The thing is (and this is the unbreakable chain) is that I constantly have something...not a voice in my head, but an irresistible thought...that I MUST always be compared to Yeung Gor and come up short compared to him.

It's like no matter what I do, Yeung Gor does it better and I always feel/look laughable compared to him...it's like I exist to be his inferior shadow or something.

THIS is what my girl cousins did to me, kidd...locked me into this unbreakable thought pattern.

They're my relatives, but sometimes, sometimes...I really hate them for what they did to me.

[kidd]

The thing is (and this is the unbreakable chain) is that I constantly have something...not a voice in my head, but an irresistible thought...that I MUST always be compared to Yeung Gor and come up short compared to him.

It's like no matter what I do, Yeung Gor does it better and I always feel/look laughable compared to him...it's like I exist to be his inferior shadow or something.

THIS is what my girl cousins did to me, kidd...locked me into this unbreakable thought pattern.

They're my relatives, but sometimes, sometimes...I really hate them for what they did to me.

It's not an unbreakable chain. It only depends on whether you want to break it or not. I've some unbroken chains too. But, I know the reason they remain unbroken is because I choose to keep it so and that I'm no ready to break them yet.

Clinic psychologists, counselors, life coaches etc exist specifically to help people break this kind of 'unbreakable' chains.

I know even having the courage to break the chain is hard because it has been part of you for 25 years. But, just let you know that it is breakable.

The choice is always yours.

Btw, Yang Guo can't speak english. Yang Guo also did not shape the life of many students.

[Ken Cheng]

It's not an unbreakable chain. It only depends on whether you want to break it or not. I've some unbroken chains too. But, I know the reason they remain unbroken is because I choose to keep it so and that I'm no ready to break them yet.

Clinic psychologists, counselors, life coaches etc exist specifically to help people break this kind of 'unbreakable' chains.

I know even having the courage to break the chain is hard because it has been part of you for 25 years. But, just let you know that it is breakable.

The choice is always yours.

You know, I hate wishing ill on other people...especially against members of my own family.

But I *really* feel my cousins have to pay for what they did to me.

[Ken Cheng]

At this point, I think I can safely say that my "getting better" or being happy for the rest of my life isn't as important as those who caused my suffering paying for what they did.

That's the only thing that will satisfy me: to see those who hurt me pay for it.

I want nothing else. Nothing else will ever bring me peace.

[hoatran]

That's why when I see Yeung Gor always getting sympathy and allies, it makes me sick.

Jealousy? Why oh why???

[Ken Cheng]

Jealousy? Why oh why???

What some call "jealousy," others call "neglected injustice."

[LuNaR]

What some call "jealousy," others call "neglected injustice."

i call it revenge

not good not good