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Thread: Stages of Dating/Relationship

  1. #1
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Default Stages of Dating/Relationship

    so my friends and I were having a discussion of 'when' do you know that you are 'official' with someone while you guys are dating. My girl and I said that when you date someone.. you start off as friends, and then you start hanging out more often (the 'crushing' stage), then you will start going on dates, and THEN the talk will come up whether or not you guys should be an 'item', 'exclusive', etc. and thing is, during the 'dating' stage, you are allowed to date other ppl.
    but my other friends (guys) said that there are no stages and they have never had to ask the girl to be 'their gf'.. you just 'know'.. once you start seeing each other so often, holding hands, kissing, and doing couple things. so its like.. friends.. then dating/relationship is the same thing and you're not allowed to date others.

    any of you guys have inputs on this? how did you guys come about to be 'official' or know when?

    i'm currently dating this guy, and he has the same mentality of my guy friends. he's been assuming that we are bf/gf the whole time but i thought we were just 'seeing' each other.. i.e i still considered myself 'single'. i expected him to ask me to be his gf soon but i guess he didn't realize that until we had that discussion yday. to be honest, i don't really care whether he asks or not.. it's just something i had always thought was the RIGHT way? lol. so we would at least have a date for anniv..
    we basically started off as friends until he started to like me.. i was unsure about him so i kept him as friends zone for the longest time. then i realized i liked him back so we hooked up (kissed) one night and after that night, he assumed we were bf/gf but i thought we were still in the 'dating' stage.. still is? LOL. told him the only way we'll be official now is if he surprises me somehow since i HAD to tell him to do it... doing that to make him work for it, i'm not that easy pft hahah yes, i'm being complicated! but i also am taking it lightly because at the end of the day, i know he makes me happy and it doesn't really matter since i don't mind.
    just wanted to hear what you guys think?
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  2. #2
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    How old are you two?
    Based on what you wrote, I think you two are bf and gf.

  3. #3
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    'when' do you know that you are 'official' with someone while you guys are dating.
    The only way I know of is to talk to your potential partner about it.

    I agree that as a girl, you can assume you're single unless the guy has requested otherwise and you have agreed. Yes, never give in to a guy easily
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    Senior Member Dirt's Avatar
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    Obviously, you're not going to get anything in writing (that's called a marriage license ). However, I have always believed that a verbal confirmation is absolutely necessary. When you say that I am your bf or gf, you're giving a verbal promise of commitment; it leaves no room for interpretation.

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    I'm under the mentality that unless exclusivity has been discussed, you and the other person are simply dating, so you both reserve the right to see other people if either of you so choose. Once the relationship gets more serious, that's when you should raise the question as to whether or not you guys are an item. Although, most of my friends tend to start off dating, and then after an extended period of time they'll simply start introducing their significant others as such without formally discussing it beforehand (which I guess is fine, as long as both are certain that neither are seeing anybody else and there's a strong unspoken mutual understanding).
    Last edited by skylee; 09-14-11 at 07:00 PM.

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    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    LOL How did I miss this? In the past, I have kept one or two guys in the "just getting to know each other" stage for quite a long time...for like a year even. As I understand, other people call this "leading him on." ::shrugs:: I'm with Dirt on this one: if either of those guys had just said, "so are we exclusively boyfriend/girlfriend now?" I would have promoted them to official boyfriend status...or not. But no one has never been explicit with me and neither have I been with them...hence to date--I have never had a real boyfriend
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  7. #7
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    I don't think you can assume anything. If the two parties are under different assumptions, then they better get on the same page soon.

    And I don't think there's a set rule. If you find yourself putting the other person as one of your top priorities and the other person does the same, then you're probably together.

    But if that's not the case and there's doubt, then broach the subject and discuss.
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    Watch the video.

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    wait the "dating stage" and "bf/gf stage" is different?

    i dont even....
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  10. #10
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Dating is the beginning of a prospective relationship. BF/GF is when you've progressed to a real relationship.

    Therefore, dating doesn't necessarily mean bf/gf, but bf/gf means dating.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
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  11. #11
    Senior Member Han Solo's Avatar
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    It's either you are friend-zoning your guy/girl or you are in a relationship.
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