100 lessons learned from Wuxia (1-100)

[PJ]

1. The way to win a girl's heart is to first chat her up, then when she jokingly asks for something valuable, say yes without hesitation.

Continue if you'd like.

[Doc Kwok]

2. If you want to become super powerful, jump off the nearest cliff. You will definitely survive and come out being among the best of your era.

[tape]

3. If you find a really weird looking insect, amphibian, or reptile, you should probably eat it (by accident, if you can).

[devilz91]

4. Castrating yourself can potentially make you really powerful.

[pannonian]

5. The older you are, the more powerful you get.

[Trien Chieu]

If you are an orphan, you will likely be a hero.

[wkeej]

7. There is always a higher mountain

[PJ]

8. Keep a record of who you've had an affair with. It saves the trouble of later wondering "did I do something with that woman? I don't quite remember, but it could have happened..."

9. If you meet a girl and become interested in her, she will turn out to be your cousin. If you don't become interested in her, she'll still turn out to be your cousin.

[smurf120]

10. Religions (any denomination including all cults) are not places of religious worship but secret world-shaking martial arts cultivation

11. The best leaders are the accidental ones that get dragged in and don't want to be there in the first place.

[juvetb]

12. The ability to generate an exaggerated Hahahahah is a great way to start your speech. It is also prerequisite for all martial arts practitioners.

13. Orthodox sects/heroes can always be counted for a display of irony; wrongly accusing someone, forcing decisions on others "in the name of good", committing random sins which they eagerly penalized others for.

14. It rocks being the main protagonist. Girls, usually too good to be true, will fall in love with you. if only this was real life.

[Trien Chieu]

15. Having sex (making love) with a virgin can cure a lot of sicknesses.

16. The older the ginger, the more spicy it is.

[wkeej]

17. Poison is transferred from male to female after sex, but never vice versa.

18. Your true age is revealed after sex.

[Doc Kwok]

19. There is no point in training hard under a teacher. If you are not a protagonist, then even if you train diligently all your life, you'll still end up as a low-level mook with no hope of reaching your teacher's level. If you are a protagonist, then powerful martial arts will drop into your lap with little effort on your part.

[Ken Cheng]

20. When in town, stock up on mantou buns.

21. If the drink is colored funny, don't drink it.

[smurf120]

22. Wuxialand never costs anything for the protagonists - if anything one can always shelter at the local run down temple (exists in every town) and hunt for food.

23. Those who want, have, or earn money, especially merchants/landowners are EVIL.

[wkeej]

24. Finding food seems effortless. There is always food around, be it a chicken or wild fruits.

25. Setting up a fire looks so easy.

[PJ]

26. If you are in a scene and the author says something is impossible to achieve, there is a good chance you will be able to achieve it.

27. If your name ends with UO, most readers will mistaken it for OU.

28. The h in Zhuo is the most invisible pinyin character in the universe.

[liubang1992]

29. If you want to be the hero of the story, never join the predominant sect.

30. If your girlfriend is viewed as evil by the good sect, she's a keeper.

31. If your wife gets pregnant, your son will be a great hero, but you two will never see that day.

[pannonian]

32. Minerals and vitamins are for sissies. Plain rice and salt will sustain your wuxia master indefinitely. Lower ranked mooks subsist on meat and wine. The higher ranked you are, the less food you need.

[juvetb]

33. Hygiene magically takes care of itself in the world of Wuxia.

34. if you're in an orthodox sect, you can auto win arguments just by stating this, regardless of what happens.