7 Killers - Gu Long

[Jayariyin]

Wow. Super cool translation. With the literal translation as footnotes, we got the best of both words (worlds).

Thanks, deathblade.

[deathblade]

Deathblade the word ''person'' is more a gender-neutral singular pronoun than ''they'/them'' as the latter is meant for more than one individual. If repetition makes it sound tedious, then ''he'' may be the better option. Take the word chairman. In the past chairperson is used if the person is a female. These days it is acceptable to use chairman to designate position whether male or female. Or take this statement: "Man is a social animal". It is understood that the writer meant mankind in general and encompasses both male and female.

Right. But using they is not necessarily incorrect, and sounds a lot more natural than "person," at least in spoken English. Since Gu Long's style is more informal, it makes sense to me.

Here's a couple articles about what I mean.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/austheir.html

In any case, I hear you and I think I'll change it to 'he,' which as you pointed out is also acceptable. Thanks for the input, I'm really open to any English feedback.

[deathblade]

I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. The next part is relatively short, I should be able to post it later tonight!

[ycb5959]

looking forward to it. It is a refreshing new story...

[WesY2K]

Wow! Already Chapter 5 of 8! Thank you very much.

I think the Gu Long love is coming back to this forum currently :-)

[deathblade]

Chapter 5 - Lovesickness will make you grow old

Part 2

Where there are mountains, there are mountain caves.

Some mountain caves are large, some mountain caves are small; some mountain caves are beautiful, some mountain caves are treacherous; some mountain caves are like a nostril that everyone can see, some mountain caves are like the navel of a fair maiden, which even though everyone knows exists, has never been seen.

This mountain cave was more mysterious than the navel of a virgin.

After traveling through seven mountain passes, and climbing six treacherous slopes, they arrived at a cliff.

The cliff was immense, so much so that the bottom could not be seen.

Across from them was another precipice, about fifteen or twenty feet away. The two cliffs faced each other, and far above, only a sliver of sky could be seen.

Tang Qing at long last let out a long breath. “We’re here,” he said.

“Where are we?” asked Liu Changjie.

Tang Qing pointed at the cliff on the opposite side. “You should be able to see it.”

Liu Changjie obviously had already caught sight of it. The opposing cliff face was as bare as if it had been carved out with a sword. There, amidst a wild growth of wisteria, was the black mouth of a cave.

White clouds wafted to and fro, and eagles soared in the mountain air.

Even though Liu Changjie could see it, he wasn’t sure how to get there.

Tang Qing suddenly asked, “Have you read the poem “Call of the Waterfowl” from the Book of Odes?” (1)

“No, I haven’t.”

“The idea behind the poem is that there is a fair maiden standing at an estuary. On the other side is a horny prince. Even though he can see her, he has no way to reach her, no matter how hard he wants to. This cave is like that fair maiden.” (2)

“And I’m the prince?”

“You only asked me to bring you here, and so I have.”

“I never imagined that you were an educated man.”

Tang Qing laughed. “I wouldn’t dare claim to be.”

Liu Changjie glanced at the treacherous cliff face. “If an educated man fell down this cliff,” he said coolly, “I wonder if he would die the same as an uneducated man?”

Tang Qing tried to laugh, but couldn’t. He couldn’t even speak. Suddenly, he squatted down and twisted a piece of nearby rock. A wire cable shot forth, at the head of which was a steel awl.

A dinging sound rang out as the awl imbedded itself into the opposite cliff face, just below the cave mouth, forming an extremely narrow bridge.

Tang Qing bowed and said, “Please, after you.”

“I would rather the educated man go first.”

Tang Qing’s face lost its color. “You want me to go with you?”

“Yes, and I want you in front. If we fall to our deaths, you can fall first.”

With a long face, Tang Qing replied, “If Madam Lovesickness finds out that I brought you here, I’m dead.”

“That’s better than falling to your death right now. Life is a treasure. Being able to live even one moment longer is good. And who knows, maybe I can think of a way to keep you alive.”

“Really?” asked Tang Qing.

“I’m an uneducated person. The word of an uneducated person is generally dependable.”

Tang Qing let out a long sigh, and then laughed. “As it turns out, reading too many books isn’t such a good thing after all.”

————————————————————————————

(1) The Book of Odes is one of the five classics of the Confucian canon. Here is more information: http://goo.gl/C2Id5
(2) The poem is relatively famous, and is about a fair maiden and a virtuous young man. In his explanation, Tang Qing changes the meaning of the poem. He adds the word 好色 to describe the man, which makes him sound perverted. For a deviant like Tang Qing, it seems really appropriate for him to do this. Here is a link to a (pretty bad) English translation of the poem that I found: http://goo.gl/zcSHVx. Thanks to LuDongBin for a link to another translation of the poem: http://goo.gl/aULYZ4 . If anybody knows of a link to a better translation of the title, or a better translation of the poem itself, please let me know.

[ycb5959]

Thanks!! Like the title

[deathblade]

I spent way too much time trying to find resources about the Book of Odes, otherwise I would have posted this much earlier. Haha. The rest of chapter 5 is all in part 3, which means it's going to be a long translation session. Which therefore means I might not be able to get it done until monday......

So, here is a sneak preview of the first part of Chapter 5 part 3:



The wire was slippery, and the mountain wind blew violently. They walked across, knowing that with one slight misstep they would plummet down.

And if they fell, they would become flat meatcakes.

Luckily, the distance between the two cliffs was not great. As soon as they stepped forth onto the cable, they heard a friendly voice from inside: "Close your eyes as you enter. I'm bathing!"

[Jayariyin]

Thanks, deathblade.

Now, you are even doing a teaser! Much appreciated.

[LuDongBin]

I like your devotion to searching for related items like Book of Odes. It expanded my knowledge. Here is another link to "Call of the Water Fowls" (关关雎鸠): http://oll.libertyfund.org/?option=c...html&Itemid=27. (Odes of Chow and the South)

I see where you are coming from regarding the singular-they/theirs. But given the context of the speech I don't think it meets the preconditions for such usage. ''He'' is good because if female the character would have been 她. Thanks for discussing with me. I have learned a lot.

[Ysabelkid]

Thanks deathblade.

[Anh Nam]

Thanks deathblade

[deathblade]

Okay, I'm going to break form and split up the last part of Chapter 5. Part three is really long and split into a couple parts. Here is part 3, the first part...

[deathblade]

Chapter 5 - Lovesickness will make you grow old

Part 3.1

The wire was slippery, and the mountain wind blew violently. They walked across, knowing that with one slight misstep they would plummet down.

And if they fell, they would become flat meatcakes.

Luckily, the distance between the two cliffs was not great. As soon as they stepped forth onto the cable, they heard a friendly voice from inside: "Close your eyes as you enter. I'm bathing!"

**

The entrance to the cave was deep. From the outside it appeared pitch black, but as they walked in, they could see that it was illuminated by lamps.

The pink-colored lamplight was soft and entrancing.

The voice was even more soft and entrancing than the lamplight.

Liu Changjie didn’t close his eyes. In fact, it would have been strange if he had.

As he walked forward, his eyes widened, as if he had just entered a fairyland. Except this cave was more beautiful than a fairyland.

In the middle of cave was a cistern formed by a hot spring, encircled by a balustrade of white wood.

There was a woman in the cistern, only her head was visible above the surface of the water.

Black hair floated like storm clouds, further drawing attention to the woman’s face. It was a like a spring flower, and her skin was extremely smooth.

Sadly, the water was not clear.

Liu Changjie let out a breath. He knew that what was beneath the water was even more amazing.

Madam Lovesickness’s radiant, enchanting eyes really were like undulating ripples on the limpid waters of an autumn pond. (1) She was staring at him with those eyes, seeming to be smiling without smiling, both happy and angry. Her voice was as beautiful as the call of a mountain oriole.

“Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?” she asked.

“You did,” replied Liu Changjie.

“Your eyes don’t appear to be closed.”

Liu Changjie sighed. “I’ve braved countless dangers, narrowly escaped from death, all just to be able to lay eyes on you. At long last, I’m finally here, how could I possibly close my eyes?”

“But I’m taking a bath at the moment.”

He laughed. “After I heard you were taking a bath, I was even more unwilling to close my eyes.”

Madam Lovesickness let out another breath. “It seems you are not only disobedient, you’re also dishonest.”

“Everything I said was completely honest.”

“Aren’t you afraid that I might dig out your eyes?”

“I’m not afraid of you chopping off my head, much less dig out my eyes.”

“You’re not afraid of death?”

“Fear death? Why fear death? The world is like an inn, and people are like customers. What happiness is there in life, what fear is there in death?

“So, it turns out you’re an educated man,” she said in her beautiful voice.

He smiled. “The ancients said, ‘if a man in the morning hears the right way, he can die in the evening without regret.’ As long as I am able to see the Madam, I’m just as willing to die.” (2)

She looked at him seductively. “Haven’t you already seen me?”

“I yearned for day and night, and finally my desire is fulfilled.”

“So that means you’re ready to die now.”

“Not yet.”

“You haven’t seen enough yet?”

He laughed. “I not seen enough. In fact there are quite a few places I still haven’t seen.”

Madam Lovesickness stared at him, a look on her face that made it seem she didn’t understand.

He stared at her, looking as if he wished his eyesight could penetrate the water. “What I can see now is only a small part. The most important part, I can’t see.”

“How much do you want to see?”

“All of it.”

It seemed as if Madam Lovesickness’s face was reddening. “You’re quite ambitious!”

“Men who aren’t ambitious, don’t count as true men.”

She bit her lip. “If I really let you see, who’s to say you wouldn’t have further ambitions?”

He laughed. “Who says I don’t already?”

Her two captivating (3) eyes stared at him unblinking. “You don’t really count as a good-looking man.”

“Of course I’m not.”

“But, you’re different from most other men.”

He laughed again. “Maybe in more way than one.”

“I like men who are out of the ordinary,” she said softly.

“Every woman in the world likes men who are out of the ordinary.” (4)

“Leave,” she said, suddenly.

Liu Changjie didn’t move.

He knew that she wasn’t talking to him, she was talking to Tang Qing.

Tang Qing left immediately, his eyes still closed. He had never opened them.

Liu Changjie laughed. “It looks like he’s an obedient man.”

“He doesn’t dare to be disobedient.”

“So, if he leaves, I definitely have to stay.”

“Women don’t like men who are too obedient, but you…”

She looked at Liu Changjie out of the corner of her eye, her look as smooth as silk. “You’re just standing there like a simpleton, are you willing to do anything else?”

He didn’t say anything in response.

He used actions as a response.

Women also don’t like men who don’t take action.

He suddenly walked to the edge the cistern, throwing off his shoes.

Madam Lovesickness’s eyes widened, as in shock. “You dare come in?”

Liu Changjie had already begun throwing off other items of clothing

“You obviously know who I am, aren’t you afraid I’ll kill you?”

He didn’t say anything; he was in too much of a hurry.

“Can’t you tell there is a special quality to this water?” she asked.

Apparently, he didn’t.

After all, he wasn’t looking at the water. His gaze was fixed on Madam Lovesickness’s eyes.

“There’s a special drug dissolved into the water,” she said. “Other than me, anyone who enters will die.”

He had already jumped in.”

There was a splash, and water flew everywhere.

“It seems you really aren’t afraid of death.” She sighed again. “Many men have said they were willing to die for me, but the men who were really ready to do so, other than you, you …”

She didn’t say anything more; she couldn’t.

Because she couldn’t exhale.

(1) This part contains a sort of play on words of Madam Lovesickness’s different names and nicknames. It describes her eyes as 明媚如秋水横波的眼睛. I’m translating 明媚 ming mei as “radiant, enchanting.” After that is a four-character adjective phrase. The first part of the phrase is 秋水 qiu shui, which means “limpid autumn waters.” This is what I earlier shortened into “Autumn” in her nickname “Madam Autumn.” The next two characters are 横波 heng bo which the dictionary says is “transverse wave” and I’m translating as “undulating ripples,” which I think imparts the meaning and flavor better. These two characters are also her given name, Hengbo. So, he uses the different parts of her name and nickname to describe her eyes. It’s pretty cool.
(2) This is a quote from the Analects of Confucius. The original Chinese is really hard to understand, unless you have studied that stuff. The English translation is actually much more clear than the original. Here are two external links: http://goo.gl/iffPXq and http://goo.gl/y6HC9h
(3) The expression is 勾魂摄魄. The literal translation would be “soul-captivating, spirit-assimilating.” He uses a common and clever way of splitting up one word 魂魄 which means soul, and then adding two other characters which basically have the same meaning, to create a cool expression.
(4) The part I translate “every woman in the world,” should be literally translated as “every woman under heaven.” But, I’m trying to make the dialogue more colloquial, and using “under heaven” in English is just not native. I’m open to constructive criticism ;-)

[ycb5959]

Thanks for the fast upload!

[Jayariyin]

Thanks, deathblade.

[Ysabelkid]

That was fast. Thanks deathblade.

[LuDongBin]

Captivating. I particularly like the part 明媚如秋水横波的眼睛. Thks deathblade.

[deathblade]

Chapter 5 - Lovesickness will make you grow old

Part 3.2

There is only one method to defeat a woman.

And Liu Changjie used the correct method.

People don’t necessarily smile when they are most happy, and they don’t necessarily moan only when they are pain.

At this point, the moaning had ceased, and all that remained was panting; rapturous panting.

Surging ripples of water finally subsided into calmness.

“People talk about ‘heaven-like libido,’” panted Madam Lovesickness, “but your libido is larger than the heavens.” (1)

Liu Changjie closed his eyes, lacking the energy to speak.

“Actually,” continued Madam Lovesickness, “I know that you didn’t just come here for me. You have some other goal.”

Women usually like to talk, and at this time they usually have more energy than the man.

So, she continued. “But for some reason, I decided not to kill you.”

Liu Changjie suddenly laughed. “I know why. Because I am not an ordinary man.”

She sighed, unwilling to argue.

“So, the water wasn’t poisoned,” said Liu Changjie.

Madam Lovesickness didn’t deny it. “There are plenty of ways to kill you if I want to.”

“If a woman wants a man dead, there definitely are lots of ways to do it.”

“Therefore, you’d best tell me why you really came here. Immediately.”

“You mean you’re already thinking of killing me?”

“Only new men can be considered out of the ordinary,” she said levelly.

“So I’m already not new?”

“Women are the same as men,” she said in a sweet voice. “We also are fickle.” (2)

Liu Changjie sighed lightly. “But you forgot something.”

“Oh?”

“Some men are like women, in that, if they want a woman to die, they can find lots of ways to do it.”

“Well, depends,” she said ingratiatingly, “on what type of woman the man was dealing with.”

“Any kind of woman.”

She laughed even more haughtily. “Even a woman like me?”

“As for you, I probably would only use one method. If it was effective, then I wouldn’t need to think about other ways.”

“Then why don’t you give it a shot?”

“I already did,” he replied.

She laughed even harder. “And was it effective?”

“Of course!”

“What method was it?”

“The water didn’t have poison in it before,” he said in a relaxed tone. “But now it does.”

Her voice suddenly became stiff. “You…” she whispered.

“I already took the antidote, of course.”

“When did you put the poison in?” she asked, seeming unconvinced.

“The poison was hidden under my fingernail. When I jumped in, it dissolved into the water.”

“And the antidote…”

“I took it when I was taking my clothes off. I know that a man taking his clothes off is not a pretty sight, and that women generally don’t want to watch.”

Emotions flickered across her face. Suddenly, she slid toward Liu Changjie like a fish, her ten fingers extended, clawing toward his larynx.

And that was when she found out that Liu Changjie wasn’t lying—she suddenly felt her body grow soft, her hands weak. All the energy seemed to have disappeared without a trace.

Liu Changjie grabbed her hand gently. “Men are also fickle,” he said softly. “You’re already not so new, so you’d better be a good girl”.”

Her face was draining of color. “You … you really want to kill me?”

He sighed. “I don’t want to …” (3)

Even before he finished speaking, he had sealed three of the acupuncture points on her large, firm chest.

————————————————————————————

(1) This is a pretty literal translation. She uses an idiom 色胆包天 which means that one’s sexual desire encompasses the heavens.
(2) Again, the same idiom 喜新厌旧, to like the new and hate the old.
(3) This is a place where my translation differs a bit from the literal Chinese. Here, she says 你真的忍心杀我 and he replies 我实在不忍心. The word they both use 忍心 means to have the heart to do something, or to be heard hearted enough to do something. But to me it wouldn’t flow well to have her, with her (potentially) dying breath say, “are you really so hard-hearted as to kill me,” or "do you really have the heart to kill me," and then he replies “I am not that heardhearted.” Thus, my translation choice.

[deathblade]

There is still Chapter 5 part 3.3. before we are finished with Chapter 5. Comping up as soon as possible!