Thank you deathblade. I'm enjoying the story even though it start becoming 18sx huhuhu
Thank you deathblade. I'm enjoying the story even though it start becoming 18sx huhuhu
Thanks deathblade for another quick update.
Good choice in note 3.
I think you are missing something here:
She sighed, unwilling argue.
Thks for update.
That was a fast update.
Thanks, deathblade.
Thanks for another update.
Last edited by ycb5959; 12-07-13 at 10:25 PM.
Thanks deathblade
Chapter 5 - Lovesickness will make you grow old
Part 3.3
Everything else was relatively simple.
The hidden door was located behind a large Persian felt that hung on the cave wall. The thousand-pound door wasn’t actually one thousand pounds, and wasn’t that difficult to open.
Liu Changjie’s hands really were incredibly dexterous. (1)
After leaving the cave, Tang Qing had disappeared without a trace, but the cable bridge was still there.
Another person might think that they had struck it very lucky, but Liu Changjie was not that type of person.
“If a person’s method is correct, things will go smoothly, no matter what difficulty they encounter.”
His methods definitely were out of the ordinary.
The inn that had been built to be destroyed was still there. Of the people sent to destroy it, three were dead and three had fled.
There are many such situations under heaven; foolproof plans that go awry and impossible tasks that are unexpectedly accomplished.
There really is no distinct line between success and failure, so one should not take matters so seriously.
The lamps in the inn were still lit, and the people inside were still waiting.
The sky was still dark, and until it was light, they dared not leave.
Carrying a small sandalwood box wrapped up in cloth, Liu Changjie strolled in.
“So it turns he didn’t die after all; he actually returned.”
The girls’ eyes were wide as they looked at him; they could see that he was clearly a very capable person.
There was wine on the table.
Liu Changjie sat down and made himself comfortable. Now really was an appropriate time to be comfortable and have a drink.
He was thinking of pouring himself a drink, but before he could, the girl with the largest eyes of them all approached. She seemed to be the most intelligent of them all as well. Her hips swayed as she walked over, smiling sweetly. “How is lovesickness?”
“Good. Very good”
She smiled enchantingly and took in a deep breath, causing her chest to stick out. “My name is Satisfy. I’m also good.” (2)
He laughed. “You do look good. But sadly, although you might be able to satisfy me, I wouldn’t be able to satisfy you.”
“Why?” she asked, with a seductive glance.
“Because what I have wrapped up in this bundle is neither gold nor jewels.”
Satisfy didn’t seem to be disappointed. She continued to smile bewitchingly. “What I want isn’t gold or jewels. What I want is you.”
“Unfortunately,” said another voice, “he has already been bought by another.” (3)
The voice came from outside. Satisfy turned her head and saw a beautiful woman, as ethereal as an orchid, as proud as a peacock. She walked in from the darkness.
Kong Lanjun had also come.
In her presence, Satisfy suddenly felt like she looked like a chicken. She let out a soft breath and quietly said, “Who would have that that there were men in our line of work, and that they could be bought.”
Liu Changjie also sighed. “I do a pretty good job, although maybe not as good as you.”
She smiled sweetly. “But, I really like you. One day when you’re free, I’ll buy you for a few days.” She chuckled and pinched Liu Changjie’s check. Then she gathered the other girls together to leave. “It looks like there’s no business here. Let’s go back and get some rest.”
Liu Changjie’s eyes followed them as they left, looking a little disappointed.
Kong Lanjun had already sat down and was staring at him. “You can’t bear to part with them?” she asked coldly.
He let out a breath. “I’m a very sentimental person.”
She ground her teeth. “You really are inhuman,” she said venomously.
“Luckily, a lot of women actually like inhuman men.”
“Those women are also inhuman.”
“What about you?”
She let out a light breath. “It seems I’m quickly becoming inhuman,” she said softly.
In a moment, her entire countenance changed, from that of a proud peacock, to that of a gentle dove.
It seemed Liu Changjie had used the correct method to deal with her as well.
Some women are like hard-shelled nuts. You need to use a hammer to break them open.
Right now she looked like a hart nut that had been cracked open to reveal a tender and supple heart.
Looking at her, Liu Changjie suddenly felt like he had won a great conquest, and there was nothing that could make one more happy than this type of feeling.
And then, he suddenly seemed to soften.
After you have conquered a woman, there’s no need for the hammer any more. He reached out his hand and took hold of hers. “Actually,” he said, “I know that you that you treated me well.”
She lowered her head. “You … you really believe that?”
“I also know that you had a good plan.”
“But … but you didn’t do anything according to my plan.”
“Because I’m an impetuous person. I usually like to use a more direct method.”
She lifted her head and stared at him, her beautiful eyes swirling with concern.
“But, I really think your way was just too dangerous.”
He laughed. “It doesn’t matter now, the matter is handled already.”
Her eyes shone. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“You have the item already?”
He pointed at the bundle on the table.
Kong Lanjun looked at him, exuding both affection and admiration. Seemingly unable to hold back her emotions, she grasped his two hands and placed them on her face. “Now I know, you’re not just a real man, you’re an amazing man.”
Liu Changjie was even more happy than before. Upon hearing these type of words, any man would be just as happy.
He could help but smile. “Actually, I’m not that amazing, it’s just…”
He didn’t complete the sentence, and he probably never would.
Because at that moment, Kong Lanjun suddenly grabbed him with both hands, digging her fingertips into his wrists. She flipped him up and tossed him, using first rate Mongolian wresting technique.
She flipped his body over like a dead fish and slammed him face-first onto the table.
Her hand sped down his spine, sealing all of the acupuncture points. She laughed coldly. “You obviously aren’t amazing at all, you’re just a cocky rabid dog!” (3)
Liu Changjie was speechless.
“Do you really think I would be convinced by that kind of method?” She was still laughing coldly. “Mark my words, you screwed up! It doesn’t matter who strikes me, I will pay them back tenfold.”
Her hand laid hold of a wooden plank and she began slamming it down onto his butt. Over and over she hit him, not holding back in the least bit, thirty times in total.
He could do nothing but wait, wait until she finished the beating.
“This time I’m teaching you a lesson,” she said. “From now on, don’t underestimate women!” She grabbed the bundle from the table. “I’ll take this. I just hope that your luck isn’t too bad, and that Qiu Hengbo, Tang Qing and the others don’t come back looking for you.”
How bitter to see the meal you so carefully prepared suddenly being eaten by the mouth of another.
Who could imagine the feeling in Liu Changjie’s heart as her voice faded into the distance?
It’s not that he was incapable of speaking, but what was there that he could say?
Women … Ai …
Liu Changjie sighed, suddenly coming to the realization that one should not offend a woman.
Unfortunately, he had offended a lot of women.
He couldn’t even bear to think about what would happen if Madam Lovesick really did come looking for him.
Let alone Dan Yifei, Iron Mon, Tang Qing …
Each and every one of them would certainly have plenty of ways to torment him.
He could only lay there on the table waiting. At this point he didn’t look like a rabid dog, he looked like a dead dog.
It was hard to say how much time passed. It seemed like millions of years.
The sun had long since risen.
Luckily, the waiters and the girls had left, otherwise he would have to stand up and beat his head against the wall until he died.
————————————————————————————
(1) The adjective he uses to describe Liu Changjie’s hands is the same one used to describe Gongsun Miao’s.
(2) Her name is 如意 which basically means “to fulfill one’s wishes or desires.” A good name for a prostitute I guess…
(3) What I’m translated as “bought” is 包下来, which is the situation where a rich guy basically pays for a prostitute to be his permanent mistress for a period of time.
Last edited by deathblade; 12-09-13 at 12:18 AM. Reason: minor editing
And that's it for chapter 5!
Thanks deathblade. That was quick.
Thanks, deathblade.
Thanks for clearing c5!
Thanks deathblade
Loves how this stories go. Thanks deathblade.
Chapter 6 – A dragon amongst men
Part 1
A long time passed. His whole body had began to grow numb, and his hands were ice cold. It was at that time that he suddenly heard the sound of footsteps.
The footsteps were very light, and the person seemed to be walking very slowly. He could feel their every step in his tingling muscles.
Who was this person?
Was it Madam Lovesickness, or Tang Qing?
Whoever it was, they certainly would not be bringing good times with them.
The sky was bright.
The early morning sun shone in through the door, casting the shadow of the person into the restaurant. It was very long, and it seemed to be in the shape of a woman.
After a while, he was able to see the person’s feet.
The shoes were soft and decorated with green flowers. The feet were dainty and delicate.
Liu Changjie sighed. He knew who the person was.
“Since when did you start laying on tables this way?” Her voice was general quite pleasant, but now it carried a mocking tone, as acidic as an unripe plum. “Is it because your *** is swollen from being spanked?”
Liu Changjie could only laugh bitterly.
The voice continued, “I remember you were always the type to brag until you’re blue in the face. But how come your *** is black and blue instead of your face?” (1)
He laughed. “Even if my *** was twice as swollen as it is now, it still wouldn’t be as big as yours.”
“Look, pal,” she laughed, “at a time like this you still dare to be obstinate. Aren’t you worried I’ll punch your face until it’s black and blue?” (2)
“I know you couldn’t bear to,” he smiled. “Don’t forget that I’m your husband.”
As it turns out, the woman was Hu Yue’er.
She crouched down, took hold of his chin, and stared into his eyes.
“My poor little husband, who was it that beat you up this way? Tell me.”
“You’re getting ready to go vent your anger on her for me?”
“I’m getting ready to go thank her.” Hu Yue’er suddenly twisted his nose. “Thank her for teaching you a lesson, you disobedient bastard.”
He laughed. “When a wife wants to curse her husband, she can say anything she wants, but she shouldn’t use the word bastard. After all it, implies bad things about the wife.”
She bit her lip. “If I really was mad,” she said hatefully, “I could turn you into a cuckold if I wanted to.” (3)
She seemed to be getting angrier and angrier. She twisted his ear violently. “When you left, did you wear extra thick clothes? Answer me!”
“I didn’t.”
“Did you go ask for the super sharp sword?”
“I didn’t.”
“Did you take care of Tang Qing first?”
“I didn’t.”
“Did you do anything according to plan?”
“I didn’t.”
She bared her teeth. “Other people thought things through so carefully for you, why do you always ignore everyone?”
“Because ever since I was young, I’ve never been an obedient kid. When people tell me I can’t do something, that’s exactly what I want to do.”
She laughed coldly. “You think you’re so amazing, don’t you? That nobody else can compare to you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he smiled. “What you wanted me to do here, I did.”
“You still dare to talk this way?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Why don’t you go find a mirror and have a look at your butt?”
“Somebody spanking your butt is one thing,” he said steadily. “Accomplishing a mission is something else.”
“Correct. You had the duck in your hand ready to eat, but sadly it flew away.” (4)
“It didn’t fly away.”
“It didn’t?”
“The only thing that flew away were some feathers. I still have the skin and bones.”
Hu Yue’er seemed shocked. “Are you saying that woman took away an empty box?”
He smiled. “The only thing inside is a pair of old, stinky socks.”
She seemed thoroughly surprised. She couldn’t help but chuckle, and then lightly kiss Liu Changjie’s face. “I knew you were an amazing man,” she said sweetly. “I knew I wouldn’t pick my husband incorrectly.”
He sighed. “It seems like a man does need to live up to expectations,” he said quietly, “otherwise he might really become a cuckold.” (5)
————————————————————————————
(1) Okay, this is one of those clever Chinese plays on words that can’t be translated into English. She uses an expression in Chinese, 打肿脸充胖子, that means to go beyond your means to try to impress others. However, the characters that make up the expression literally translate as “to hit your own face until it is swollen,” the idea meaning to make your face puffy so that you look more imposing to others. Then she asks him why his butt is swollen and not his face. It’s pretty clever, but doesn’t translate well. If you translate the actual meaning of the phrase, then the joke doesn’t make sense. If you translate the phrase literally, it also doesn’t make sense. I tried to translate it in a similarly idiomatic and sarcastic way.
(2) The clever wordplay continues here, because the word in Chinese for obstinate literally means “to have a hard mouth.” Then she threatens to beat another part of his body until it’s swollen, and it just so happens to use the same character for mouth. In an attempt to have a similar continuity of wordplay, I’m adjusting the translation a little bit.
(3) Okay, I tried to keep the feeling of the original, but it’s literally impossible to translate the wordplay here. She starts by calling him 王八蛋 wang ba dan, which is a pretty common epithet usually translated as bastard. Then he responds by saying, “you shouldn’t use the characters 王八 wang ba when cursing your husband.” This is clever because 王八 carries the meaning of a man whose wife is cheating on him (a cuckold.) Then she responds by saying, “if I was really mad, I really could give you a green hat to wear.” As I’m sure most of you know, in Chinese culture, if a man wears a green hat it implies that his wife is cheating on him.
(4) The literal expression is to have a cooked duck in hand, and then it flies away. It implies that you seem to have an assured victory, and then suddenly and unexpectedly you lose.
(5) Here again he uses the phrase “wear a green hat.”
Last edited by deathblade; 12-11-13 at 07:51 AM. Reason: changed word for continuity's sake, formatting change
Lots of word play in this part, hope the translation suffices!
Thanks. Nice twist!
Thanks, deathblade.
This character Liu Changjie is really something.
Good job there conveying the word play's intention! Thks.
Thanks deathblade. Becoming gripping