I just had a row with my parents yesterday.
One issue we couldn't come to agreement is that my respect for them. and I press the issue further asking for their definition of "respect", they said I don't listen to everything they told me to do, that when they told me to do something or behave in a certain way, I had to follow without objection or second thoughts.
I tried to tell them this kind of request is not some normal advises or teaching parents offered their children but absolute and blind obedience a military commander wanted of a subordinate.
I went on to give my opinion that "respect" and obedience are completely different things. Respect is a mutual thing. When they had shown respects for their children (like don't force them to make the decision they don't want, don't dictate how they must live their life), your children would return the respect. Shockingly, they said that they, as a parent, do not need to respect their children, and what rights do children have to demand respect from parents?
In reaction to my opinion of mutual respect, they also said and I quote" if you have thoughts like that, you are an unfilial child to you parents" (yes I'm Chinese and my father's a bit conservative in Confucian teaching).
My question is what I did request of my parents (i.e. mutual respect) -
- is it really unfilial as my father had said?
- Please do share what you think as mutual respect between parent and children