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Thread: Round Robin #3: Battle of Wulin

  1. #41
    Senior Member C Monster's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    Know what you all mean about this story having great potential. The way the story was first setup really drew a lot of interest. But somehow too many of the central characters perished in the climatic battle with that stone chest made me lose my way.

    About the yellow silk that Qin Nam had wrapped around his hand... my idea had been to connect it to the government somehow... a lost piece of a wardrobe worn by a kidnapped/lost prince that Qin Nam was able to retrieve... Sam Siu was meant to be a high court official exiled from the Imperial Palace (or even part of the royal clan) who's planning to rescue the prince in order to install a new regime in government.

    I know. I know. Very unoriginal ideas. Sounds like the recent Andy Lau & Cecilia Ceung movie, "Cat and Mouse" I just saw that was about Qin Chiew "Royal Cat" and the Silver Mouse.

    So I'm actually glad for the changes in this story. The quick switch from one setting to the next gives it a very Gulong mysterious flavor that is very different from the "Legend of the Kilin" which is more linear Jinyong based.

    As for Em's idea to incorporate "aliens" into this story, you are not the first one to have that idea. My overlong, overwrought fanfic "Gatekeepers" that's taking forever to get down on paper touches on this...

    I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to contribute much to this story though. It would be great if more people could join in.

  2. #42
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    ahhhhh..... first of all my apologies to all the former writers for killing off a whole host of 'main' characters in my first post - I do plea guilty of ignorance, arrogance and stupidity, sorry.

    However, let me also try and give you my humble reasons why I had decided to kill of a few characters. Firstly, since not a lot of people were posting to the thread and it had been laying dormant for a while - I'd tried to give the story a change of direction and characters - establishing that what went before was a kind of prologue, where the characters you thought would survive (like the monk) wouldn't (Something different to the many wuxia stories I've come across). Secondly, I felt that the start was, in a way too similar to kilin.

    *************

    Anyhoo:

    About the yellow silk that Qin Nam had wrapped around his hand... my idea had been to connect it to the government somehow... a lost piece of a wardrobe worn by a kidnapped/lost prince that Qin Nam was able to retrieve... Sam Siu was meant to be a high court official exiled from the Imperial Palace (or even part of the royal clan) who's planning to rescue the prince in order to install a new regime in government.
    Hmm.. thats what I had suspected when I reread your section more carefully and actually notice that you had slipped this piece of plot information in there. It's cool, because yellow is usually a colour related with royalty and the emperor (since in the past only emperor's could wear yellow) and I can see the potential in establishing this in the story.

    But now that Sam Siu is dead then it 'could' open up a whole new direction of relations between the government and the wulin.


    *******************************************

    ***Haha.. not a bad plan. I'm sure there are readers, but the fanfic section in general has been quiet lately. You should write for the writing's sake though... the number of readers you get should be a bonus.
    Yeah, that wasn't a major point, but the fanfic section has generally been a bit quite in readership - which was why I had brought it up

    *** Treasure of some sort with some special martial art skill? Some sort of symbol of power to do with the government? The secret to being immortal? I'm not sure that this has been decided... or ever will be.
    I brought this up because the idea of having everyone in the wulin world searching for something like a special martial arts skill or similar, seemed a bit cliche (IMHO) and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions about what was in there. (This dialemma is kinda similar to 'Kilins' in which I don't think the writers are really sure yet what the secret of the 4 kilins hold - although each has their own opinion, its just who wishes to take the plunge )

    ***Err... he's dead? Will he be resurrected? (Em is doing the girly thing of answering questions with questions.... oops!)
    Yeah, he's dead too , but that doesn't mean hes absolutely dead, people just think hes dead. If you want to bring him back you're welcome (In fact, I think Goofy is thinking about bringing him back arn't you Goofy )

    8 - Who was Sam Siu?
    ***The undercover inkeeper, but he's dead now anyway.

    9 - Who was the mysterious masked woman who appeared to Chu Shu on top of the Three Laughters Inn?

    *** She's dead as well...
    Erm... sure they're 'dead' but what the heck, they've got to be important later right?

    And as for the aliens, hmm..... Qin Nam as the beliving 'Mulder' and the woman in purple (shes called Ling) is his long lost sister? or is she a clone? j/k
    Last edited by MYF; 07-05-03 at 02:08 PM.
    my right arm slams shut

  3. #43
    Senior Member Chi Mei's Avatar
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    This the first SPC Round Robin fic that I've read and so far, I've enjoyed it I would also like to take part in it so I'm just wondering if I can just join in after someone posts....I hope this doesn't sound too upfront =\

  4. #44
    Senior Member TigerWong's Avatar
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    The monk opened his eyes.

    The dirty street urchins who were finding it amusing to paint the face of this sleeping fellow with mud all screamed and ran away. The screams were mixed with excited laughter as their fear turned into the thrilling feeling of being chased.

    But the monk did not chase them.

    He was still a little dazed and was slowly starting to remember yesterday’s events.

    He should be dead but he was not.

    Nor was he surprised. Not anymore. Not after all the previous times.

    Like that time he was running away from a pack of wild dogs. He had scrambled up a large tree to escape but as he neared the top, he lost his grasp and fell. If the fall didn’t break his bones, the dogs would surely have mauled him to death.

    By the time his old uncle discovered him and ran over with a large stick to chase the animals away, he had already been bitten many times. The odd thing was there was hardly a mark on his body. What was stranger was that his uncle didn’t seem to question this too much. He said that it was a perfect example of how all the exercising he made him do was paying off and why he should continue to drink his nasty soups despite their bitter medicinal flavor.

    Although he didn’t quite believe all that, he didn’t really have a better explanation.

    And he shouldn’t be surprised that he survived yet another near death experience. The only thing he should be surprised about is how he could still be such a coward after everything that's happened.

    It was hard to suppress his natural instincts though. He was still expecting his good fortune to disappear at any moment.

    He stumbled to his feet and headed back towards the direction of the inn. Somehow he got flung over two blocks away.

    He saw that people were cleaning up the site. A multitude of corpses were laid out unceremoniously on carts outside and more were being carried out.

    Two men were lifting that woman in white. The one he saw walking up the stairs when he was hiding underneath. His face reddened slightly as he remembered fighting the instinct to look up her dress.

    One man was saying: “This one is quite pretty. Too bad she’s dead, otherwise.....heh, heh.”.

    The other man stared at him: “Quiet! Have some respect for the dead!”

    The vulgar one just laughed some more, took the woman, and tossed her across the air toward a cart already piled high with carcasses.

    Suddenly a figure flew by, grabbed the woman, and slapped the man across the face seven times.

    This all happened in the blink of an eye.

    When the monk finally got a good look at the new arrival, he found it hard to breathe.

    She was a woman in white. And she looked exactly like the dead person she was now gently holding in her arms.

    They could be twins. Except she was even more icier and serious, if that was possible.

    "Who did this to my little sister?".

    Although it was clear that her voice held a hint of anger, her face remained calm and expressionless.

    Which frightened the monk even more.

    =====

    The man continued sipping his tea as the palace servant rushed in and bowed.

    "Gung Gung, I have a message from the carrier pigeons".

    He had heard him coming even when he was still several courtyards away. Even though he was old, he could hear better than most people.

    He raised his arm, indicating the servant to give him the letter.

    The servant walked over hesitantly, trying not to stare at the exceptionally long fingernail hanging from the eunuch's pinky finger.

    It was clear that he was frightened and wished to leave as soon as possible.

    The eunuch read the message to himself: "He has it".

    Just three simple words, but he recognized their significance and understood all too well what it would entail. A sinister smile formed on his thin, wrinkled face.

    "Now it begins.....".
    Last edited by TigerWong; 07-05-03 at 06:55 PM.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool The monk is back!!

    Good, the monk has come back. Somehow, he reminds me of Zhu Xu.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  6. #46
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    This the first SPC Round Robin fic that I've read and so far, I've enjoyed it I would also like to take part in it so I'm just wondering if I can just join in after someone posts....I hope this doesn't sound too upfront =\
    Hey, thats ok with me, and Iam sure this is a round-robin (unless my english is that bad ). Join in after anyones post.

    But in the light of a forthcoming revolution within this fanfic community - May I recommend staying clear of the following cliches as main plots:-


    - Revenge for relatives/friends

    - An all powerful martial arts manual that everyone is chasing after.

    - Secret Evil Sects that really arn't that evil really.

    - Love between good and bad sides which ends in tragedy.

    - forbidden love between classes (teacher/student, apprentice/masters' daughter etc...)

    - Cliff's, please use sparringly if not at all

    - Love relationships that involve the two protagonists arguing with each other until finally they realize they love each other to bits...

    - Long lost siblings/parents/dog unite and fight bad/each other.


    Ok, thats all my warnings for the moment.

    But by all means, take into consideration some of that and you'll have fun posting away Chi Mei

    *******************************

    To Tigerwong: thats cool man I enjoyed reading your post immensely, especially in the way it pays such a homage to Gu Long's writing style. I hope you will write more

    ***************

    As a side note, I think that all future posts should be at least in a similar tense - don't you agree? I think would be best in a past tense, but what the hey, decide whats best for yourself and remind us when you post it.

    However, the majority of the fic so far is written in past, and unless one wants to stray radically for any reason, shall we leave it so?
    Last edited by MYF; 07-05-03 at 05:28 PM.
    my right arm slams shut

  7. #47
    Senior Member TigerWong's Avatar
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    Default Re: The monk is back!!

    Originally posted by Goofy
    Good, the monk has come back. Somehow, he reminds me of Zhu Xu.
    I did it just for you

    Actually, I would have been quite happy to leave the monk dead and consider him as a plot device, playing the role of the clumsy idiot who triggers the trap and kills everyone, but oh well.... Now that he's back, there is only one area I might be interested in developing him, but otherwise I'll let his fate fall where it may.

    Originally posted by MYF
    To Tigerwong: thats cool man I enjoyed reading your post immensely, especially in the way it pays such a homage to Gu Long's writing style. I hope you will write more
    Thanks, man. But it was you who originally injected that bit of Gu Long flavor with your little shake up. I'm very intereted in finding out how you will develop the mysterious man with the chest.

    Originally posted by MYF
    As a side note, I think that all future posts should be at least in a similar tense - don't you agree? I think would be best in a past tense, but what the hey, decide whats best for yourself and remind us when you post it.
    I thought all the postings so far have been in past tense.

    I personally don't really care what tense people post in, but I think that past tense sounds the most natural for me.
    Last edited by TigerWong; 07-05-03 at 07:02 PM.

  8. #48
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    Hello again, Have updated this fanfic in the Storyvault so you can read it there if you so wish....

    Btw, I'm on holiday for about 2 weeks, so no updates from me until then (or in some readers cases)

    However, it would be cool to find more posts when I get back
    Last edited by MYF; 07-05-03 at 09:02 PM.
    my right arm slams shut

  9. #49
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool I am stressed

    and I feel like letting steam out by writing.

    Tigerwong, I will try to make the monk interesting, and if others don't like him in the future, then he can always be killed off.


    The monk could not help letting out a squeak. His heart beat frantically although it might not entirely come from fear only. The young lady in white looked a lot alike the dead maiden lying there except that she was more beautiful and attractive despite her coldness. And more importantly, she was much alive!

    Unconsciously, the young monk blushed deeply. He quickly closed his eyes in order not to look at her anymore, but his feet somehow rooted there. However, his ears could still hear fine, so the minute that the two big men screamed, he opened his eyes and saw two more fresh corpses on the street.

    They were the two men who had just made joke at the dead body of the young woman. Now, their mouths looked puff and their faces were purple. Their eyes showed frights and extreme pain. They would never speak again.

    The monk gasped stupidly. He wanted to run away but he had lost strength to do so. His eyes were drawn to the lady in white who were staring at his dusty appearance. Their eyes met, and the monk shook as if the ice had developed around him. However, he was strangely calm.

    Everytime that a person survives death, he may be a bit braver than the last time. Besides, the monk was still a man. And under such pretty woman's stare, he automatically straighted up his back and tried to act more confident.

    Suddenly, the lady asked him with unconcerned voice. "Were you here?"

    The monk nodded, swallowing his saliva and trying not to fidget.

    The other's eyes sparked. She asked on with a bit impatience. "Did you see what happened to my sister?"

    The monk nodded again. He was about to recount the horrific event to her when unexpectedly his shoulders were grasped. He cried out as his feet felt no ground. His calmness flew away, and he struggled to find that he could not move at all.

    'Am I being tested by some demons?' He wondered then realized that his pressure points must have been sealed. He did not know any kung fu but had heard from his elders at the temple of such art.

    Also, he had realized that he had shut his eyes again. Well, not seeing things sometimes helps to lessen fear. Yet, his nose could still smell and breathe, so he also realized refreshing scent of flowers next to him. His eyelids fluttered, and peeked. The lady in white was next to him, or in fact, he was being held by her.

    She was so near him that her black hair brushed against his cheeks. He could almost feel even her breathing. The monk turned even redder, but the lady in white did not even bat her eyes. She was not embarrassed to be this close with man because she never thought about men.

    She had spent her life in a secluded valley and hardly had connection with outsiders, unlike her sister that had some friends in the martial realm. Probably aside from her sister, nobody might even aware of her existance.

    The two seemed to fly through air, and if the monk knew anything about kung fu, he would have been impressed with the other's level of lightness kung fu.

    Then, out of the blue, the lady in white dropped him. At the same time, she unsealed his pressure points and whispered to him to run away. "My enemy is here, and I might not be able to protect you."

    The monk scrambled up and ran, but he stopped a few paces away and ducked behind a bush. He was coward, but he was also curious. He was also a man eventhough he was a monk.

    So he watched from the bush as the woman's 'enemy' appeared.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  10. #50
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool Has nobody read this fanfic anymore? :D

    The wind waved silently, and red petals floated down gently to the ground. At that minute, a woman appeared out of nowhere. Her dress was red, and her hair was lustrous black. Her skin was pale white, and her body was alluring. The monk thought she was a young girl at first, then at the second look, he thought she was older than he was. Somehow, she seemed to look different each time he looked at her. She was ageless, yet at the same time so old and so young. One thing for sure, her beauty was no less than that of the young lady in white.

    The young monk did not witness how the latter had killed the two big men on the street, so he was ignorant of her kung fu ability. And with this newcomer, he would hardly believe that she processed any kung fu at all.

    However, the next minute left him with jumping heart, or in fact, his heart only jumped once and almost stopped beating altogether. The new lady attacked the other without speaking. Her stances were ruthless and vicious, beyond the monk's dream. And the younger lady countered forcefully. For the fearful monk, it was like watching a python fighting a tiger. The batter was hardly something he would have expected to see from two beautiful and elegant looking ladies.

    At one point, the two ladies were engaging in the battle of inner power. Their palms touched each other; their faces were serious, and the monk could see beads of sweat on their foreheads.

    Suddenly, a streak of silvery light flashed by. The monk had quick eyes and he discerned a silver needle flowing toward the lady in white's waist.

    Without thinking, he leapt out of the bush.

    Three things happened then simultaneously:
    1. The monk's arms clasped around the young lady's waist, and the needle just landed right on his arm.

    2. The outer force from the monk upset the circulation of force between the two women. Each was thrown back ten steps and suffered internal injury.

    3. A figure jumped forward from his hiding; in his hand was another silver needle that he released even before his feet touched the ground.

    However, this time, the needle was aimed toward the woman in red.

    ---------------------------------------
    How do you like it?
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  11. #51
    Senior Member fridaythe13th's Avatar
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    Default suggestions

    This is my suggestions to the questions...

    We may change the title...suggestions welcomed

    1 - Yuan (Mongol invasion)

    2 - the story is flowing into different directions, possibly something to do with the corruption of the government, or chaos in wulin

    3 - I don't really care

    4 - ???

    Suggestions to minor questions...

    1 - originally, the cloth was no significances, but looks like a silk from the royal clothes

    2 - mystery, possibly linked to the silk

    3 - he came back, I suggest he will end up with the silk and the treasure

    4 - ???

    5 - I think she might have something to do with the rich family - with Chu Shu being the assistant

    6 - the workers thought he was dead, so they just dumped him there, or he accidently fell into a secret hole in the inn that led to the well...

    7 - the leader of wulin led the attack...the 5 elements are part of the guardianship (forgot the name) - they escort treasures or people to destinations

    8 - innkeeper related to the governemnt, he died (see C Monster's post)

    9 - she was originally my main female character somehow related to Qin Nam...she died (can we bring her back...although I can't tie her in with the story yet)
    “我停在原处也许就是为了让大家在累的时候,有个可以回头休息的地方。”

  12. #52
    Senior Member TigerWong's Avatar
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    Haha, well there goes my next part of the story. I didn't think the lady from GuMo could be so vicious, just killing those two workers, and one of them even defended her sister! I had big plans for that worker too, but that's how it goes with these Round Robins. "You snooze, you lose"...I shoulda updated quicker. Anyway, I'll need to rethink this a bit more.
    Last edited by TigerWong; 07-11-03 at 02:58 AM.

  13. #53
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool

    sorry, TigerWong,

    I overlooked that defending part.

    I think it would be neat to make the monk as an observer of the wulin battles without actually making him another Xu Shu...
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  14. #54
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    Default Re: suggestions

    Originally posted by fridaythe13th
    This is my suggestions to the questions...

    We may change the title...suggestions welcomed

    1 - Yuan (Mongol invasion)

    Hmm... if it is set in the Yuan era, then shouldn't Yang Gor still exist as part of the GuMo sect? and since we've brought in this blantant influence from Jin Yong are we going to stick close to his timeline of events in his condor trilogy - i.e. in that after the fall of Seung Yueng City, and with the death of Guo Jing, the martial and political world fell into chaos for another 100 years until the time of Cheung San Feung (in HSDS).

    Is it this hundred years of limbo we're writing in?

    Or are we using Em's suggestion of Ming era? after all the GuMo would have existed in secrect for a long time time now and its martial arts would have degraded somewhat. Also, the political world would have been stable, but doomed eventually to chaos by manchu aggression.

    I suggest the lenght of time post JY's DGSD's but before the condor trilogy, this leaves about a hundred years for developing fully fledged clans and whatever. However, the only way this would work is if all references to the GuMo sect are changed to another (as it would have not existed at this time yet).
    my right arm slams shut

  15. #55
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool

    the story doesn't have to have connection with either GL's or JY's. We can pretend that Gu Mo is some different sect totally!
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  16. #56
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    Smile

    Alright

    Thats cool by me, just wanted to make sure the connections were'nt too concrete and unchangeable.

    Still though, is this set during the Yuan dynasty or Ming? - or are we making it up as we go along? (the only reason for this is in case we want to establish relations to fictional versions of historical figures)
    my right arm slams shut

  17. #57
    Senior Member fridaythe13th's Avatar
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    Default Yuan???

    If the plot is about the government against wulin, then I think it would be better if it was the Yuan Dynasty...we could drive out the Mongolians.

    I have a crazy idea about bring the three wuxia Round Robins together.
    “我停在原处也许就是为了让大家在累的时候,有个可以回头休息的地方。”

  18. #58
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    I've decided to hold this section of my post and enter it later at a suitable point when things have moved a little. Come on writers... more writing (And goofy please continue )
    Last edited by MYF; 07-28-03 at 05:39 AM.
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  19. #59
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Cool

    The monk dazedly opened his eyes then felt something was put in his mouth. The taste was bittersweet with the smell of honey. He heard a man's voice, "who's this bald headed beggar?"

    A snicker came from another person, following with a groan.

    Finally, the young lady answered. "He is a monk who witnessed Sister's death. I was about to ask him the details when...," her voice lowered then turn bittered, "when Mother tried to ambush me."

    The person who had snickered earlier raised her head with difficulty and shouted back ferociously. "Doesn't a mother have a right to punish her child?" She pointed her trembling fingers at the young woman then turned to the standing man pleadingly. "With her jealousy, she had turned her sister out to the cruel world which led to my baby's demise." She spatted; tears flew down her cheeks but upon looking at her husband's face, she sighed disappointedly.

    "I know you will always be on that devil's side. From their births, she's yours and the other's mine. I can't blame you on that, but at least you should do something before she kills me too." At this point, she spat out blood.

    The old man's brows creased. He coldly observed. "It actually would have been the other way around if I had not intervened. And have I not thrown the needles at her first for daring to fight you?"

    The woman from the ground smiled bitterly. She nodded. "Yes, and after that, you turned to attack me as well. Clearly, you flavors her over me. Therefore, there is nothing left to say between us." She suddenly got up and with her last effort, bound away.

    The young woman gasped. She kneeled to the old man. "Father, please punish me. I have wronged you and Mother."

    Her father heaved a sigh. He patted her head with love. "It is not your fault, child. Your mother and I..." He sighed again and mentioned his daughter to follow him.

    When she hesitated and looked at him, he gave a frown but finally gave a slight nod. Then with a strong palm, he caught the confusing monk's shoulders and flew with great speed.

    ------------------------
    short... I am during mourning.
    "History's third dimension is always fiction."
    -- The Glass Bead Game, Hermann Hesse

  20. #60
    Senior Member fridaythe13th's Avatar
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    If we get actors and actresses for our characters, this is what I suggest:

    1. Qin Nam - Louis Koo
    2. Ling Er - Alyssia Chia
    3. the young monk - Shi Xiao Long

    I want a heroine who doesn't really like Qin Nam, someone like Xiao Long Nu or someone a bit evil. Any suggestions?
    “我停在原处也许就是为了让大家在累的时候,有个可以回头休息的地方。”

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