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Betrayal - Page 4
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  1. #61
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 13 New Friends, Old Friends

    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Tong Hong Hoa-Esther Kwan
    Ly Gia Minh-Ekin Cheng
    Trieu Duc Thang-Benny Chan

    Hong Hoa (Esther Kwan) sat down underneath an apple tree to rest. She ponder about what she had witness back at the restaurant.

    The young girl shiver when she thought back to the dead corpses with blood dripping down their eyes, noses, and mouths.

    As Hong Hoa close her eyes to take a nap, a sound startled her. Her eyes pop open with her ears perk up, alert of any strange sounds.

    Cautiously, Hong Hoa approach the direction the sound have came from. She hid behind a bush and look out.

    A young handsome man was fighting with two big and evil-looking man. A young injure girl lie to the left of Hong Hoa.

    Hong Hoa slowly step out of the bush and crawl toward the young girl. The girl turn toward Hong Hoa with a surprise look.

    Hong Hoa whisper to the girl, "Don't worry, I mean no harm."

    The girl study Hong Hoa's expression and finally decide she could trust the older girl.

    "C'mon, let's get out of here." Hong Hoa grab the girl's arm and drag her away.

    However, the girl made no attempt to move, "I'm not leaving without Tuan Kiet (Louis Koo).", the girl said, determine.

    Hong Hoa look at the three men and them somersault toward them.

    She block one of the large man's swords and kick his leg. She then grab a handful of dirt and throw it at the two men's face.

    Tuan Kiet and Hong Hoa help the girl up and they all run away.


    The sky slowly turn black as the sun sets. The full moon rises, its bright light reflect off the river.

    A shadow sat on the rooftop, watching the full moon.

    "The full moon, has it really been this long? Trinh Trinh?" the shadow whisper to himself and sigh, "Ly Gia Minh (Ekin Cheng), why does you still love her after what she have done? Ly Gia Minh, what is wrong with you?"

    "Love is blind." another shadow appear, standing tall on the roof.

    "Duc Thang (Benny Chan), what are you doing here?" Gia Minh ask before turning his head back to look at the night sky.

    "Ly dai ca (brother Ly), why can you still think about her after all these years?" Duc Thang ask

    There was no reply from Gia Minh.

    Duc Thang finally spoke after a moment of silence, "Guess who I saw today?" he ask, changing the subject.

    "Who?" Gia Minh ask, pretending to be interested.

    "Ngoc Bich."

    "Oh? So how is she doing? Still stubborn as always?"

    "Yep, and look like she got herself a boyfriend." Duc Thang said, amuse.

    Gia Minh and Duc Thang laugh at the thought of their boyish little sworn sister falling in love.

    "How did you saw her?" Gia Minh ask.

    "She and her boyfriend were attack by the Black Python Sect. I saved them but then I left them at an abandoned temple." Duc Thang reply.

    <font size="1">[ June 04, 2003: Message edited by: jeh ]</font>

  2. #62
    Registered User Danielle Lin's Avatar
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    Nov 2002


    Nope she's not the only one! So am I! <IMG SRC="smilies/blush.gif" border="0"> But I'm still on page 2, I'll leave a more descriptive comment later!
    Great job! Update soon, even if I don't manage to catch up <IMG SRC="smilies/tongue.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

  3. #63
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Hey Danielle, glad to see I have a new reader <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0"> Hope you will continue reading this story. <IMG SRC="smilies/wink.gif" border="0">

  4. #64
    Senior Member nickianjo's Avatar
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    Jun 2002


    Jeh!!! I've been gone for so long and you only got two chapters!!!

    Hehe... just update soon... <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">
    "share the glory in the story"


    shut up already

  5. #65
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 14 A Long Night

    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Tong Hong Hoa-Esther Kwan
    Lam Thien Tuan-David Siu
    Thuy Nhi-Kristy Yang

    "Look what you did, I told you to run away but no, you didn't listen. Look what happen to you now?" Tuan Kiet scolded Ngoc Bich as they sat by the burning fire.

    It was night time and the moon shine upon them.

    Ngoc Bich roll her eyes and retort, "shut up, I can take care of myself. I couldn't run away. You still have to pay me back for breaking my flute. Don't think I've forgot about it. Beside, you should thank me for taking that hit for you instead of...." she stop and cough violently.

    "See, I told you. How many times have I told you that I'm not paying you back. It was an accident and I don't have money to pay you. Stop talking too much and go to sleep. You need to rest so you can recover." Tuan Kiet told Ngoc Bich.

    "You do have money, a whole bag full. You will pay me back or I'll keep on following you and annoying you." Ngoc Bich said and stuck her tounge out at Tuan Kiet.

    "You are so childish."

    "Does it look like I care?"

    "Just go to sleep, you need to rest. You won't recover if you don't rest."

    "Why are you worrying so much about me? I am fine. I'm not sleepy."

    "I'm not worry about you. Why should I be?" Tuan Kiet turn away from Ngoc Bich as he blush.

    Ngoc Bich giggle, "Are you blushing?" she ask amusingly.

    "Just go to sleep!!!"

    Hong Hoa watch the two as they bicker on and on with eachother. She have notice that Tuan Kiet have a special feeling toward Ngoc Bich and vice versa.

    Sighing, Hong Hoa was suddenly jealous of the young maiden. Ngoc Bich have someone who care deeply for her. Hong Hoa, however, was all alone. She have no family and no friends.

    Looking at the night sky, Hong Hoa softly ask, "When will I find him? Please give me a sign of his whereabouts, please." she continue to look at the sky searching for a reply. There was none.

    Tuan Kiet wave his hand back and forth in front of Hong Hoa's face. Startled, Hong Hoa eye him questionably.

    "Here, eat. You must be hungry." Tuan Kiet hand her a roast bird on a stick.

    "Thank you." Hong Hoa took the stick from him and started eating.

    "Hey, where's my food?" Ngoc Bich whine and pouted.

    "You're not getting anything." Tuan Kiet said and took a bite out of his food.

    "You jerk, give me that!" Ngoc Bich jump forward as an attempt to grab the roast bird from Tuan Kiet's hand.

    "Jump up and get it, shorty." Tuan Kiet held the stick up high while Ngoc Bich try to grab it.

    "Yes!!!" Ngoc Bich took hold of the roast bird and start to eat it.

    "You are so unladylike. Why am I stuck with you? A handsome guy like me must be accompany with a pretty companion. Why am I stuck with you?" Tuan Kiet sigh.

    "Handsome? You? Don't make me throw up." Ngoc Bich joke.

    "Hi, miss. My name is Luu Tuan Kiet and that tomboy over there is Ha Ngoc Bich. What is your name?" Tuan Kiet turn to Hong Hoa and ask.

    "Oh great, you're flirting with girls again? Sorry to say this but your flirting skills SUCK!" Ngoc Bich butt in.

    "Shut up!!!" Tuan Kiet shouted

    "What? You always start the conversation off with something lame." Ngoc Bich reply.

    Hong Hoa chuckle while Tuan Kiet glare at Ngoc Bich threateningly.

    "OKay, okay. Don't say I didn't warn you." Ngoc Bich said.

    "So miss, what is your name?" Tuan Kiet ask Hong Hoa again

    "My name is Tong Hong Hoa." Hong Hoa reply while giggling at Ngoc Bich who was making funny faces behind Tuan Kiet.

    "Ah, Hong Hoa. What a beautiful name. Thank you for helping us get away from those thieves this afternoon. We really appreciate it." Tuan Kiet ignore Ngoc Bich and continue talking to Hong Hoa.

    Suddenly, they hear fighting noises to the left of them.

    Curiously, the three peek out to see Thuy Nhi (Kristy Yang) standing face to face with Lam Thien Tuan (David Siu). Several girls in white and blue with their faces covered were fighting with men in black.

    Ngoc Bich was shock to see her worst enemy, Thien Tuan, here. She was also curious to why that friend of Tuan Kiet, Thuy Nhi, was talking to that loser.

  6. #66
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Nicki, now it's three
    Last edited by jeh; 06-15-03 at 09:54 PM.

  7. #67
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 15 Jealousy?

    Lam Thien Tuan-David Siu
    Thuy Nhi-Kristy Yang
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Tong Hong Hoa-Esther Kwan
    Duong Chi Thanh-Raymond Lam

    "Give me the Blue Pearl and I will let you go peacefully." Thien Tuan told Thuy Nhi.

    Thuy Nhi scoff and reply, "I don't have it and even if I do have it, I wouldn't give it to you. I got important duties to attend to so good bye." Thuy Nhi turn around and walk away.

    "You can't go that easily." Thien Tuan said and prepare to attack Thuy Nhi. He put his sword forward, wanting to stab her.

    Thuy Nhi suddenly dissappear. Puzzle, Thien Tuan look around trying to find her. He could smell her perfume so she must be near him.

    Smiling, he turn around and clash his sword with Thuy Nhi's sword. The two swords met causing sparks to erupt and flew everywhere.

    "How did you...." Thuy Nhi ask in confusion but was cut off.

    "Next time, don't wear such stronge perfume." Thien Tuan said slyly.

    Thuy Nhi, now fuming with anger, chop her sword down on Thien Tuan's head. He dodge and counterattack.

    Thien Tuan made an attempt to slash her arm. Thuy Nhi move out of the way and come face to face with several of his poisonous projectiles. With nowhere to go, she try to ward them off. The projectiles flew to a tree and it erupt in flame.

    The fire soon grew bigger and cover the whole forest. Smoke was flying everywhere.

    Thuy Nhi try to get away before the fire could get to her but more and more projectiles were flying toward her on all sides.

    The fire was closing in on her, Lam Thien Tuan have dissappeared. Thuy Nhi continue to ward off the projectiles as she cough. Her eyes were getting watery cause of the smoke.

    Ngoc Bich, Tuan Kiet, and Hong Hoa have been watching the fight between Thien Tuan and Thuy Nhi the whole time. They decide to help Thuy Nhi escape.

    However, a shadow swoop down and send his internal energy toward the projectiles. His internal energy was so strong that all of the projectiles exploded.

    The shadow scoop Thuy Nhi up into his arms and flew away. The fire continue to burn down the whole forest.

    Ngoc Bich, Tuan Kiet, and Hong Hoa ran after the mysterious shadow.


    "I'm tire, can we stop now?" Ngoc Bich whine as she trail after Tuan Kiet and Hong Hoa. They have been chasing after the mysterious person all night. It was morning now.

    The two turn around and sigh, "Lion, we have to go after Thuy Nhi. To make sure she's okay." Tuan Kiet said.

    "Why? We don't even know her. Don't tell me you like her? Seeing how she always cover up her face, she must be really ugly. Why do you like her?" Ngoc Bich ask

    "Can you stop getting out of the topic?!" Tuan Kiet said, his face was red from blushing.

    "C'mon, Ngoc Bich . What if that shadow was someone bad. That young miss will be in trouble for sure. She's a friend of Tuan Kiet, we must go and hep her. Beside, it look like it's going to rain. We better hurry and find a shelter." Hong Hoa said.

    "Fine, fine." Ngoc Bich said exhaustedly and follow the two.

    They haven't gone far when it started to rain. By the time they reach a cave, all of them were soaking wet.

    They were startled to see light coming from inside. The three walk inside the cave cautiously.

    Tuan Kiet's face light up when he see Thuy Nhi sitting by the fireplace.

    "Co nuong (young miss), you're okay!" he exclaim happily.

    "Tuan Kiet? What are you doing here?" Thuy Nhi ask.

    "I saw you being taken away by that mysterious person. Did he harm you?"

    "No, why would I harm my martial sister?" an unfamiliar voice spoke up.

    Tuan Kiet look up and for the first time, he notice a stranger sitting next to Thuy Nhi. It was a handsome young man slightly younger than Tuan Kiet.

    "Who are you?" Tuan Kiet ask

    "My name is Duong Chi Thanh (Raymond Lam)." the man reply coldly.

    Tuan Kiet found himself not liking this man one bit. He walk to a corner of the cave and sat down.

    Ngoc Bich sat down on front of the fire and try to warm herself. She was soaking wet from head to toe. Hong Hoa sat down next to her.

    "Hey pervert, come here and dry yourself or you'll get sick." Ngoc Bich shouted to Tuan Kiet.

    Tuan Kiet just ignore her.

    "Fine then, sit there and freeze yourself to death." Ngoc Bich said.
    Last edited by jeh; 06-16-03 at 03:52 PM.

  8. #68
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 16 Confusion

    The rain continue to pour down, not showing a sign of stopping. The wind whip furiously against the tree. Lightning flash across the sky and the roaring sound of thunder was heard.

    The loud sound startle Ngoc Bich, causing her to jerk awake from her sleep. She look around in fear. The fire have long burn out, causing the cave to become very dark. The condition outside did little to lighten the eery mood.

    Ngoc Bich jump up, startle to a sneezing sound coming from a corner of the cave. She squint her eyes to see who it was. Realizing it was only Tuan Kiet, she grin mischievously and crawl toward him.

    "What do you want?" Tuan Kiet suddenly spoke, causing Ngoc Bich to jump up.

    Tuan Kiet laugh at the sight, "Trying to scare me? Not a chance." he said.

    Ngoc Bich shot him an innocent look, "What are you talking about? I was just seeing if you were awake or not," she try to defend herself then change the subject, "You're not afraid of ghosts?" she ask curiously.

    "Why should I when something worst than a ghost annoyed me everyday?" he said while smiling slyly.

    Ngoc Bich slap his shoulder and retort angrily, "I am not more worse than a ghost and I am not annoying. I happen to be the nicest person."

    Tuan Kiet pretend to be throwing up while Ngoc Bich shot him a dangerous look.

    Lightning bright up the whole cave as thunder soon follow. Ngoc Bich quickly hug Tuan Kiet.

    Tuan Kiet awkwardly sit there as Ngoc Bich hug him tightly. Her hair flowing in front of his face. The smell of white blossoms reach his nostrils. As he smell her hair, Ngoc Bich quickly pull away.

    She shiver and said, "Brr, why are you so cold?" she feel his forehead worrily.

    "I think I'm sick, I've been sneezing all day." Tuan Kiet said as he sneeze.

    "Eew, don't get your germs on me. Cover your mouth." Ngoc Bich said, disgusted, she then change her tone, "See, I told you. You should have dried yourself up. Now you're sick." she scolded caringly.

    "Stop acting nice, I know you're really laughing."

    "I am not that bad," Ngoc Bich get out a white bottle and pour out a blue pill, "Here, swallow this." she handed the pill to Tuan Kiet.

    He examine it suspiciously and said, "You're sure you're nopt trying to poison me?"

    "Just swallow it!!!"

    "I'm serious, for all I know you might be trying to poison me."

    "Yeah, it's poison. If you swallow it, your flesh will disintegrate into nothingness. You will die a painful death." Ngoc Bich roll her eyes.

    "If you put it that way..." Tuan Kiet said teasingly and pop the pill into his mouth, "Bleh, disgusting." he whine as he swallow the pill.

    Ngoc Bich laugh at his distorted face and comment, "You are such a big baby."

    "Well, I'm a cute baby then."

    "Hah, you wish."

    On and on they bicker until they fell asleep.

    Tuan Kiet woke up and clutch his chest painfully. He get out a white pill and put it into his mouth. The pain slowly subsided. Sweats trickle down his handsome face.

    Tuan Kiet's attention was turn to the girl with her head on his shoulder. A smile crept up his lip seeing her talking in her sleep. He brush a strand of hair away from her serene face. A smile was lingering on her red lip.

    "She look so different." he murmur to himself.

    Tuan Kiet's hand reach up to lightly touch Ngoc Bich's cheek. She tremble lightly to his touch and murmur something, he could catch the words, "Pervert....annoying....." and then "foods....bed....", Tuan Kiet shake his head and chuckle.

    "She is so innocent, not a care in the world." Tuan Kiet said.

    Tuan Kiet's eyes than wander to Thuy Nhi's sleeping form to the far right of him. He was still puzzle as to why he was so anxious to know if she was safe or not. Then, he suddenlt felt sad yet mad at the same time seeing her with that other man.

    "These unexplain feelings....strange." Tuan Kiet whisper.

    He turn to Ngoc Bich then back to Thuy Nhi, to Ngoc Bich then back again.

    "These two women..." he thought, "with one of them, I always joke around and tease her. Somehow, I don't want to make her cry. I don't want to see her sad. With the other women, I try to act like a gentleman. I sense...jealousy when seeing her with another man. What is wrong with me? I feel so....attach to them. I get worry seeing them get hurt. Is it what they call...love? How can I love two women at the same time?!" Tuan Kiet sigh and shook all of those thoughts out of his head.

    "C'mon Tuan Kiet, Ngoc Bich is annoying and you hate her. Thuy Nhi is so cold and emotionless. You hate all women remember?" he try to calm himself.

    "Pervert, why are you talking to yourself? What are you mumbling about?" Ngoc Bich suddenly ask sleepily.

    "Nothing. Stop being so nosy!" he snap.

    "Why are you getting mad?! What did I do?!"

    "Nothing, go back to sleep."

    Ngoc Bich mumble and then close her eyes.

    Tuan Kiet clutch his head angrily. He was confuse, mad, annoyed. He didn't know why.

  9. #69
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    Jul 2002


    just started to read this jeh,

    seems like your writing skills are improving with each new chapter and the dialogue is lively and amusing - just be careful not to fall into cliches and anachronisisms (unless you're doing it in a nudge-wink way )

    anyway, I hope you update soon as this is a very good attempt for a first time fanfic

    (sorry for sounding like a )
    my right arm slams shut

  10. #70
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Here is the poster. Thank you to Tido for making it.

  11. #71
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Hey MYF,

    Glad to know you like the story. Hope you continue to read and commenting. Thank you for the advise. By the way, what does anachronisisms mean? One question, have my story fallen into cliches and anachronisisms yet? What is a nudge-wink way? Sorry for asking too much questions. Hope I didn't scare you away.

  12. #72
    Senior Member MYF's Avatar
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    Jul 2002


    Anachronism is something that is historically incorrect for example Ming Emperors riding on Jetski's through the sewers of New York. I only mentioned it because this line stuck me as odd:

    "Eew, don't get your germs on me. Cover your mouth." Ngoc Bich said, disgusted, she then change her tone, "See, I told you. You should have dried yourself up. Now you're sick." she scolded caringly
    Maybe they had knowledge of germs - who knows?

    But a nudge wink means being ironic - like you know that they had no knowledge of germs, but put it in anyway to create a particular effect - such as to make the reader aware that they are reading a piece of fiction or just to laugh at this irony.

    Anyway, Nope, the questions didn't scare me away one bit... (although I'm starting to suspect that people don't really understand me - I was asked a similar question Fridaythe13th on the round robin no3 thread...)

    Update soon.
    Last edited by MYF; 06-21-03 at 08:53 PM.
    my right arm slams shut

  13. #73
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 17 Dead Corpses

    It was morning and the sun shine brightly. The birds chirp happily as they dance from one tree to another. The rain had just stop. The earth was still soggy due to the nonstop raining yesterday. Droplets of water drip down the green leaves of the trees as a sign of the raining.

    The sunlight reach the cave and woke up a sleepy Ngoc Bich. She yawn and stretch sleepily.

    "You've finally wake up. Geez, do you know that it is almost noon. You pig." Ngoc Bich didn't have to look at the person who was talking. Only Tuan Kiet would say things like that.

    Ngoc Bich turn around and open her mouth to argue back. She stop when she saw Tuan Kiet roasting a huge chicken. The smell of it made her mouth watered. She quickly crawl closer to the food and look at it hungrily.

    "This is not for you, this is for Hong Hoa and I. You can go find foods yourself." Tuan Kiet said.

    Ngoc Bich pretend to not be interested in the food,"Hmph, who would want to eat that?"

    Tuan Kiet smile slyly and said,"It's ready, Hong Hoa. Come and eat." He handed Hong Hoa a huge drumstick as Ngoc Bich look on hungrily.

    Tuan Kiet look at Ngoc Bich and handed her a drumstick. She grab it and started eating,"Hey, how did you get this chicken anyway. Is there a village near here?" she ask with her her mouth full.

    Tuan Kiet shook his head at Ngoc Bich and reply,"There's no village near here. The nearest one is about 50 miles from here. The chicken just walk pass the cave so I catch it and kill it."

    After everyone was full, Ngoc Bich look around the cave questionably,"Hey, where's that girl and that guy?" she ask.

    "I don't know. They were already gone before I woke up." Tuan Kiet reply.


    Hong Hoa say goodbye to Tuan Kiet and Ngoc Bich and went on her way. The two watch her go and then went in the opposite direction.

    They stop at a river to rest. Ngoc Bich splash her face with cold water. She sniff her nose as she smell something. Ngoc Bich look around and then take a drink at the river.

    "Yuck!!!" she spit out the water while yelling out disgustedly.

    "What's wrong?" Tuan Kiet ask.

    "This water is disgusting. It taste like...like..." Ngoc Bich said as Tuan Kiet take a drink.

    "...blood." Tuan Kiet ended the sentence.

    They look at eachother in fear.

    "Let's trace the river to it starting place." Tuan Kiet said and begin walking. Ngoc Bich follow him, eagerly. She love mysteries like this.

    As they walk farther and farther away, it start to grew more quiet. The birds stop chirping and they could hear their own hearts beating against their chest.

    The surrounding have also change drastically. There were no trees, the only ones remaining were close to dying. The grass below their feet have traces of being burned. Was it just a forest fire that result in this. Then what was the explanation for the river that taste and smell like blood.

    Ngoc Bich walk closer to Tuan Kiet as it get darker and darker. She look at the river and gasp,"Look!!!" she yell out.

    The clear water of the river was replace by red blood. The smells were nauseating. Tuan Kiet quicken his steps as Ngoc Bich try hard not to let him out of her sight.

    Tuan Kiet suddenly stop in his track causing Ngoc Bich to bump into him.

    "Why did you...?" Ngoc Bich begins but stop when she look at the river. She quickly bury her face on Tuan Kiet's chest as she shiver in fright.

    Dead corpses were floating on the river. Ahead of them were more dead corpses. Judging from the smell and the condition of the corpses, these people have been dead for 10 days already.

    Tuan Kiet pull away from Ngoc Bich and walk forward. What seem to be a village was burnt down to the ground.

  14. #74
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Hi people, just wanted to let yall know that this story have three parts to it. This is only the first part. It is call Fate.

  15. #75
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Chapter 18 Invincible Sword

    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Invincible Sword-Nick Cheung

    A rustle of leaves startle Ngoc Bich and Tuan Kiet and they quickly turn around. They smile in relief seeing it was only an injured rabbit. Ngoc Bich pick the rabbit up while trying not to hurt it. Its left front leg was wounded and blood have stain its white fur.

    Ngoc Bich examine the the rabbit's leg worrily. She frown seeing how serious it was. Tuan Kiet just stood there, observing her.

    He then look up at the sky, "It's getting dark, we better find somewhere to rest," Tuan Kiet said.

    "Anywhere as long as it is not here," Ngoc Bich said and look around fearfully.

    "I wonder who would be cruel enough to kill off this entire village." Tuan Kiet sigh

    "It is none of our business. Let's get out of here." Ngoc Bich said and drag Tuan Kiet away.

    Darkness soon fall upon the whole area. The moon was totally cover by the clouds. The stars were still visible though.

    Ngoc Bich was tending to the rabbit's wound while Tuan Kiet look at the stars. He ponder about the dead corpses. Who have killed them and what is his purpose for killing them?

    Tuan Kiet pick up his sword and stood up, "I'm going for a walk." he said.

    "At this time?!" Ngoc Bich ask, a look of surprise cross her face.

    Tuan Kiet ignore her question and walk away. His feet finally lead him back to the dead bodies.

    He examine the wounds on the bodies and said in amazement, "Impressive, judging from the wound, it was a very light slash yet it leave a very deep wound."

    Tuan Kiet senses footsteps and turn around. A young man was standing right in front of him. His clothes were tattered and he wield a sword.

    "Who are you?" Tuan Kiet ask.

    "People call me Invincible Sword (Nick Cheung)." the man reply.

    "Oh, so it is the famous killer, Invincible Sword. It is an honor to finally meet you." Tuan Kiet said sarcastically.

    The other just laugh, "Just don't get in my way and I won't kill you." he said threateningly.

    "Why did you kill these people?"

    "It's none of your business."

    "You can't just go around killing innocent people like that. They didn't do anything to you."

    "They get in my way, they have to die."

    "Hmph, I won't let you kill innocent people anymore!" Tuan Kiet said and charge toward Invincible Sword.

    Invincible Sword block the attack easily and kick him in the shin. He then hit Tuan Kiet on the chest and unsheath his sword for the final blow.

    However, Invincible Sword suddenly stop in his track and flew away.

    Ngoc Bich appear and ran toward Tuan Kiet, "are you okay?! I told you not to interfere in other people's business. You could have been killed!!!" she scolded

    "I'm not dead yet," Tuan Kiet retort and stood up. He walk away and Ngoc Bich follow him.

    Suddenly, Tuan Kiet was about to collapse but Ngoc Bich balance him. Her heart suddenly ache as she see him in pain.

    "Are you sure you're okay?" she ask.

    "I'm fine," Tuan Kiet reply and smile when he look at Ngoc Bich's worry face, "Stop worrying, I won't die. I'm only injured," he said, trying despearately to cheer her up.

    "Seriously injured!!!" Ngoc Bich corrected.

    Last edited by jeh; 06-23-03 at 08:48 PM.

  16. #76
    Join Date
    May 2003


    Heya Jeh!

    You've been working hard on your fic...keep going.....and oh you're making it a trilogy?

    Always enjoy the bickering between Tuan Kiet and Ngoc Bich....

  17. #77
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
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    Aug 2002


    Hey Paige, glad you enjoy the bickering between Ngoc Bich and Tuan Kiet. Yeah, this is going to be a trilogy. Hmm, look like as old readers come and go, a new reader come. Then, they left and then the cycle continue. Kind of weird, don't you think?

  18. #78
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002


    Chapter 19 Sad

    Tong Hong Hoa-Esther Kwan
    Tran Van Long a.k.a Invincible Sword-Nick Cheung
    Ha Ngoc Bich-Kristy Yang
    Luu Tuan Kiet-Louis Koo
    Lam Thien Tuan-David Siu

    Hong Hoa was walking on a strangely quiet road when a man suddenly leap out at her.

    "Co nuong (young miss), help me!!!" the man scream out and then collapse. Hong Hoa check his pulse, he have stop breathing.

    Hong Hoa observe the dead man, despite the blood stains and dirt, Hong Hoa could see that his clothes were made from the finest silk. He must have been a very rich man.

    Hong Hoa was startle when another man suddenly leap out. She take a look at him and froze in place. Those pair of eyes that have once mesmerize her with its loving gaze now stare at her emotionlessly. The sword in his hand, the scar on his arm were all so familiar to her. It must be him!

    "Van Long..." she mutter as tears roll down her eyes. Tears of happiness and love.

    At the sound of his name, the man quickly flew away. There is only one person in this world who know his real name.

    "Van Long!!! Van Long!!! Stop!!! Wait for me!!!" Hong Hoa shouted as she ran after him. She trip on a rock and fell down. Van Long turn around, about to catch her but stop.

    "You still care for me, why must you run away from me? Do you know how hard it was for me to find you? Now that I have found you, you run away from me. Why, why?!" Hong Hoa ask.

    "No, Tran Van Long (Nick Cheung) is dead, I am Invincible Sword," the man said.

    "No, in my heart you'll always be Tran Van Long, my fiancee,"

    "Don't follow me anymore, go home. I will only ruined your life. Good bye, Hong Hoa," the man said and flew away despite Hong Hoa's shoutings.


    "Can we rest now?" Ngoc Bich ask for the umpteenth times that day.

    "What part of no don't you understand?!" Tuan Kiet shouted back, extremely annoyed.

    "Don't have to yell at me like that, geez," Ngoc Bich retort and then ask again, "Can we rest now?"

    "Fine, let's rest here," Tuan Kiet said and set his baggage down, "I'm going to find something to eat. Strange, we have been walking for days already but there are still no signs of a city or village anywhere," Tuan Kiet mutter and then walk away.

    Ngoc Bich ignore Tuan Kiet as she pet her rabbit. It was the injured rabbit that she have helped earlier. She scratch the rabbit's soft white back and hum a tune she have heard her teacher play on his flute.

    "Nice to see you here, miss," a voice spoke.

    Ngoc Bich look up, her surprise look turn into a look of disgust, "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" she ask rudely.

    Thien Tuan (David Siu) chuckle and advance toward Ngoc Bich as she scoot back.

    "What do you want?!" she ask again, raising her tone.

    "Now now, why are you being so rude? Can we be friends?" Thien Tuan ask as he reach out to touch her cheek.

    Ngoc Bich dodge his hand and back away as far as possible from Thien Tuan while he try to get closer to her. He suddenly push Ngoc Bich down on the ground and pin her arms, refraining her from struggling.

    Ngoc Bich try to struggle out of Thien Tuan's hands but he was too strong for her. Seem like his internal energy has gotten higher.

    Thien Tuan put his lips on Ngoc Bich's lips and kiss her. Ngoc Bich try to push him away as tears roll down her eyes. Thien Tuan then attempt to rip off her shirt. The tearing sound of fabric cause her to cry harder. She struggle violently but it was no use.

    From out of nowhere, a fist hit Thien Tuan's eye. He stagger away from Ngoc Bich and clutch his eye in pain.

    Tuan Kiet appear, his face darken due to anger. He continue to punch Thien Tuan furiously. Thien Tuan try to block Tuan Kiet's punches while trying to punch Tuan Kiet back.

    The two man fought with eachother while Ngoc Bich try to cover herself. Tears blinded her vision as she cry. She wrap her arms around herself as she thought of what had happened.

    Thien Tuan was able to kick Tuan Kiet away. He quickly run away as Tuan Kiet shouted imsults to him.

    Tuan Kiet wipe the blood lingering on the corner of his lip and turn to Ngoc Bich. His expression soften as he look at her. He take off his overcoat and wrap it around her.

    "Tuan Kiet!!!" Ngoc Bich call out and hug him tightly as she sob on his shoulder.

    "Don't cry, everything will be okay. Shh, don't cry," Tuan Kiet said and hug her while he curse at Thien Tuan in his head.

    *Bastard, I swear I'll kill him if I ever see him again!!!* Tuan Kiet thought to himself.
    Last edited by jeh; 06-27-03 at 03:49 PM.

  19. #79
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002


    Chapter 20 Goodbye

    Tuan Kiet let go of Ngoc Bich, "I saw a city not far from here, I'm going to buy you new clothes. Stay here," he said and was about to leave but Ngoc Bich stop him:

    "I want to go with you. Please don't leave me here. What if...what if he come back?" she pleaded.

    Tuan Kiet hesitate, her clothes were ripped in many places. Going to the city like that wasn't a good idea but then...he couldn't leave her here alone.

    Sighing, Tuan Kiet nod his head, "C'mon, let's go," he said and begin walking. Ngoc Bich follow him awkwardly while trying to cover herself with the long overcoat.

    They soon reach the bustling city fill with people. All eyes turn toward them curiously when they notice Ngoc Bich's tattered clothes.

    Ngoc Bich look down while Tuan Kiet try his best to ignore them.

    The two walk into a clothing store and the owner greet them. He eye Ngoc Bich and then ask, "How can I help you?"

    After changing into a more suitable outfit, Ngoc Bich left the store with Tuan Kiet. They walk inside an inn and ask for two rooms.

    Ngoc Bich went to her room and close the door behind her. She sat down on a chair and sob. The horrific event keep replaying in her mind. If Tuan Kiet have come later, she don't know what would have happened to her.

    A knock on the door made Ngoc Bich jerk up, she wipe her tears and cautiously went to open the door. She breathe out a sigh of relief seeing it was Tuan Kiet and not Thien Tuan.

    "Are...are you feeling okay?" Tuan Kiet ask worrily, noticing her red eyes from crying.

    "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Ngoc Bich lie, forcing a smile.

    "I got something for you."

    "What is it?"

    Tuan Kiet brought out his hand and show her the butterfly hairpin. It was a hairpin with a yellow on the top of it. Two strands of pearls hang from the butterfly.

    Ngoc Bich gasp at the beautiful hairpin, she look up at Tuan Kiet and said, "Thank you,"

    "You're welcome,"

    Ngoc Bich examine the hairpin happily and ask, "How much does it cost?"

    "Not that much, only 5000 taels."

    "5000 taels!!!" Ngoc Bich exclaim.

    "It's not that much, really."

    "Well, don't think this can make up for my flute. You still have to pay me back for the flute. You said you didn't have any money!!!" Ngoc Bich scolded.

    "I'm not paying for that flute,"

    "Hmph, you will pay!!!"

    "No, I'm not!!!" Tuan Kiet and disappear down the corridor.

    Ngoc Bich look at his retreating back before closing the door. Her face sadden and a drop of tear roll down her eyes.....


    Tuan Kiet knock on Ngoc Bich's door but there was no answer. Worry, he anxiously kick the door open and went in. The room was empty.

    A letter lay on the table with the butterfly hairpin on top of it. Tuan Kiet pick up the letter and read it. It says:

    Tuan Kiet,

    You must be surprise about my sudden departure. I'm so sorry for leaving so abrubtly without a goodbye. After the incident earlier, I feel awkward and confuse. I need time to think things through. Don't try to look for me. I want to be alone. You don't have to pay me back for the flute. It was just an accident, right? I can't accept the butterfly hairpin you've gave me. I'm not worthy of such an expensive object. If fate let us meet eachother then so be it but if not then I'm going to treasure the times I've had with you. Those were the happiest moments in my life. Goodbye and farewell.

    Your Friend,
    Ha Ngoc Bich

    The letter was short and written hurriedly. Tuan Kiet look at the hairpin and then back at the letter.

    Then, he quickly zoom out of the inn to look for Ngoc Bich.

    "Lion!!! Monster!!! Ugly!!!" he call out all of the nicknames he gave her. People turn around to look at him weirdly.

    Tuan Kiet ignore them and continue calling out for Ngoc Bich, "Lion!!! Ngoc Bich!!! Ha Ngoc Bich!!!" he called, that was the first time he said her name.

    On the opposite road, Ngoc Bich walk slowly as she stare blankly ahead. She didn't really know where she was heading, she just want to get away and be alone.

    "Hey tieu muoi muoi (little sister)!" a cheeful voice of a young man call out.

    Ngoc Bich look ahead to see her second oldest sworn brother running to her happily. He was a young man slightly older than her. The only strange thing about him was halg of his fave was covered by a mask.

    Ngoc Bich sigh and walk over to him.

    "Nhi ca (second oldest brother)!" she call out and try to smile.

    Duc Thang (Benny Chan) notice his sister's awkward smile and puffy red eyes, he ask, "Okay, who pick on my little sister? Tell me and I'll beat them up for you," Duc Thang said.

    Ngoc Bich chuckle and lie, "Nothing, I just scratch my arm. It hurt so bad that I have to cry," Ngoc Bich show Duc Thang her scratched arm. Those scratchs were actually caused by Thien Tuan.

    Duc Thang didn't believe the story but seeing how his sister was reluctant to talk about it, he decide not to ask.

    "Are you okay? I told you to watch where you're going but you never listen. Tsk tsk tsk," Duc Thang said jokingly.

    Ngoc Bich know her brother didn't believe her lie but she was glad he didn't ask further questions. She change the subject, "Where is dai ca (oldest brother)?" she ask.

    "Oh, he's at home. C'mon, I'm going to take you to him. He will be so happy. He been drinking a lot lately. You know why," Duc Thang said and drag Ngoc Bich away.

  20. #80
    Senior Member jeh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002


    How come nobody reply? Is this story that bad?

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