One Too Many

"Faith, hurry up!"

I looked up from my desk, my friend stood by the door, beckoning me; I smiled at her, a friendly smile, a smile one expects from a co worker.

"I can't come out for lunch today; I have something to do today."

She nodded and smiled and said some polite words, words that as real as the smile on my face.

Today was the 21st, my sister’s death anniversary; she has been gone for 7 years to this day.

The phone rings on my desk, he was always on time.

"Hello?" I said, knowing well who was on the other line.

"Are you ready to go? I'm parked downstairs."

"I'll be down in 10mins."

I packed up my things and hurried out the door, taking the elevator down I notice him parked just to the side.

Some girls stood to the side, chatting to him.

"Who is he? Is that why you’re ditching us?" I turned slowly, I had not realised I had reached the lower levels faster than my friend.

"He's my brother-in-law."

Her face paled, as I expected she had more polite words to offer. Everyone knew my sister was dead, any new person would comment on the beautiful girl in the picture on my desk, and each time I would tell them it was my decease sister, and more polite words would come pouring through.

I walked up to the car; my brother-in-law leaned over to open the door for me. Those girls looked on with envy, it didn't give me any satisfaction, nor did it make me feel disgusted.

My brother-in-law David was a handsome man, even though he is well into forties, he was strongly built and had a powerful aura about him.

He was the owner of a series of car retails, so he often had the luxury of driving the latest models out.

Since my sister died, he had been living exactly as he had when she was alive, he would arrive home exactly at 8pm every day.

Today, he was smartly dressed, as per usual, but there was a sadness about him that tore at me, the death of my sister had hit him hard, even after all these years.

I remember when I arrived at the hospital, he stood silently to the side, and my sister's body lay on that cold metal table, a white sheet covering her body.

Her face was left uncovered; she looked peaceful, as if she was asleep.

***********************************************************

My sister was 36 at the time and had been married to my brother-in-law David for 18 years; they had married as soon as it was deemed legal.

For as long as I could remember, they had been together; my childhood memories were filled with them and them only.

My mother had committed suicide not long after she had given birth to me; my father was as far as I could remember a hot tempered man.

The few memories of him I could recall were of his abuse, I remember him hitting my mother, my sister and myself. He’s loud voice, the force of his hands, the image of his sneer.

The majority of my childhood was filled with my sister, David and I playing around, I remember their laughter, my sister’s warmth, our happiness.

My sister had always told me to keep quiet about David, or we will never see David again, once or twice I would slip up and my father would go into a ferocious rage, the brunt of it was always aimed at my sister.

My father died shortly before my sister had married David, they had been dating since they were 15, and a fact that I believe my father was ignorant off. He had objected to the marriage from the start but not long afterwards he had agreed, I remember their joy when my father agreed to the marriage.

My father, however, did not live to see the day they were to be wed.

I know not of David’s background or how they met, but he loved my sister and my sister loved him, they were fiercely devoted to each other, had I not been part of their family I would have not been included into their warmth.

A fact I cherish, greatly.

***********************************************************

"We're here."

Stepping out of the car, he opened the back door, taking out a large bouquet of flowers and a basket of essentials.

I follow his steps, taking the stairs one at time, always two steps behind.

Lost in my own thoughts I had not realised he had stopped, from behind I could not see his face but his body shook, from anger? From sadness?

I dared the few steps forward and peered over his shoulders. My heart skipped a beat.

Next to my sister was the image of a woman I had not laid eyes on for years. Skye.

***********************************************************

I was 13 when they first met.

It was my friend’s birthday, back when friends were more than just polite words.

I had begged my sister to take me to take me to her birthday party, I begged for those things that seemed so essential at that time but now, it seemed more like a waste of time.

My sister had always indulged me, she loved me more than anything in the world, and I exploited that.

My sister was 29 at the time and had been married to David for 11 years, they had never had children, and it wasn’t until years later that I realised my sister was unable to have children.

We arrived at that party dressed in our best clothes, although my sister was 29 she was extremely young looking for her age.

She had a small frame and a beautiful face, I was proud of that, I was proud that my sister and brother-in-law were very good looking people, and once in a while, I would hear them say I look just like her.

My sister would always smile and say “because we’re sisters”.

It was here that we first met Skye.

Skye was 18 at the time, she was a cousin of one of friends, and she had the body of a model and the friendliest disposition we’ve ever met.

From the first moment we entered the room, she had been especially kind to us, especially towards my sister.

At the time, I had thought it was because my sister was older than the rest of us so she felt it necessary to engaged her in conversation.

My sister however, was ill at ease and had wanted to leave on many occasions, but Skye insist that she stayed, and in my naivety, I had begged her to stay.

That night for the first time, I heard my brother-in-law raised his voice. I could not make out the words but he was angry, my gentle brother-in-law was angry.

It wasn’t until some weeks later that we met Skye again; my sister and I had just left the shopping centre and were sitting in the park to rest when she came upon us.

My sister was shocked at seeing her but there was something in her manner that even with my innocent eyes, I could see their relationship had changed.

That night my brother-in-law slept on the couch.

My friends and I had organised an outing the following month, I had gone away for 3 days, it was the first time I had left home for so long.

I remember the joy of coming home, the anticipation of telling my brother-in-law and sister the fun I had, the things I did, the people I met. I wanted to tell them so much I had not stayed over at my friend’s house as I had planned but came back immediately.

Those joys I had felt vanished from me the moment I open that door.

My sister was sitting on the couch, Skye before her, their bodies separate but their lips locked in embrace.

Hearing me, my sister pulled back, her cheeks flushed, her eyes blurred, she looked at me in shocked yet she said nothing.

I ran.

I was scared, I didn’t know what had happened, why it had happened, and so I ran.

My brother-in-law found me that night, he had been searching for me all day, he told me how worried my sister was, how she was crying at home.

I wanted to tell him, “let her cry!” but I didn’t dare. I didn’t know how much he knows, did he know about Skye, about my sister’s relationship with Skye? I didn’t want to hurt him, he was so kind to us, he loved her so much, but she had betrayed him.

I hate Skye, my sister was happy with David, she and David were happy. Why did Skye have to ruin it?!

I returned home that night with David, I had so many words I wanted to say to my sister, I wanted to tell her she was stupid for doing something like that, for throwing away her marriage with David.

My words choked in my throat, I could not say it, the look on her face when she saw me, her relief, so heartfelt, and she had never feared that I would tell David, she was only scared for me.

I hugged her, I wanted to tell her to stop it, to stop whatever she was doing, but I never had the chance to say anything, David told me to go to bed, and the coward in me took the lifeline.

The next morning, my sister had left before I woke up, the moment had passed, I could not muster up the anger I had yesterday, all I wanted was to be hugged by her, I wanted her to tell me nothing was going to change, that we would still be as before.

David told me to go to stay at a friend’s house for that night, I had asked him why, and he smiled.

“I love you, I love your sister, and I don’t want to lose this family.”

“Neither do I”

I listen to him that night and stayed at a friend’s house, it was the longest night of my life, I feared, what would happen that night? Would David convince my sister to give up Skye?

I thought of that morning, my sister had never left the house before me; she would always wait till I’ve gone or walk with me. Skye, it was Skye she had gone to see so early in the morning.

I returned the next morning to an empty house, my fear grew, and did my sister not give up Skye? Did my brother-in-law leave as well?

I cried, I cried so hard I fell asleep. The brushing of my hair woke me up, my sister’s face peered from above me, my head on her lap, and she smiled at me, her gentle smile.

“Dinners ready”

David called from the kitchen, he came out with two dishes on each hand, and he smiled at me.

“Let’s have dinner” my sister said.

We sat down for dinner, our family of three, my happiness has returned to me.

For the next few months, we returned to our old routine, the Skye incident was never mentioned, I had convinced myself it was just a bad dream that a girl named Skye had never appeared in our lives.

I had stopped hanging out with my group of friends, so afraid that they would bring up Skye again, afraid Skye may one day decide to come visiting, and I distance myself from them, from everyone. We were happy the way we are, we didn’t need anyone else in our family.

My self denial was short lived, it was Christmas and we were preparing to celebrate, I returned home early that day, I wanted to hide my presents so that my sister and David wouldn’t know I had bought something.

I picked up the mail on my way in, there were a few from my brothers workers and some from the various charities my sister takes part in. We were a very close family, our cycle of friends was limited, and it was uncommon for us to receive personalised mail.

The sky blue envelop sent shivers down my spine, I shoved it in my pocket and kept it hidden, our Christmas passed without drama, we were happy.

Valentine’s Day came not long afterwards, somewhere in the pit of my stomach; I knew I had to be home early, I was so afraid I had rushed home early every day for one week prior to Valentine’s Day. My hunch was right, a sky blue envelop arrived by mail.

Another arrived at my sister’s birthday, then another for a particular day that I knew not of its meaning. Each time I would carefully hide it away, I was afraid my sister would see it, yet I could not bring myself to destroy it. Each envelop added onto my conscience, the love Skye had felt for my sister weighed each letter.

For years they kept coming, each special day was marked, my mind started to change, or maybe because I started to understand that feeling called love. Skye loved my sister, like David loved my sister, who did my sister love?

I don’t know, she was happy with David, I could see that, but I could also sense there was something between them, some sort of understanding, for even if she did not love him, she would never leave him.

To say she loved Skye, I could not be sure off, as she had never mentioned Skye, and when they finally did meet, on that faithful days 5 years later, my sister had nodded at her with her polite smile and walked away.

For the first time in my life, I looked at my sister as a person, she was calm, or devoid of emotion, she loved me, I could see the love in her eyes, but on that day she met Skye, who stood before her with so much love in her eyes, she looked at her with politeness, the coldest emotion.

I had thought after that incident, those blue envelops would stop coming, but they did, like clockwork they came each and every year. My heart ached, Skye’s love became my burden, those envelops tearing at me, I wanted to tell my sister, but each time I looked at David, I couldn’t bear it.

When my sister passed away three years later, my burden deepened, she had never known Skye had remained in love with her all those years.

I wondered, if she had known, that meeting 3 years earlier, would it have turned out the same way?

To add to my guilt, even after my sister’s death, those envelops kept coming, I realised Skye had no way of knowing my sister had died, I wanted to tell her but I couldn’t bear to reveal I had kept her letters all these years. As much as I hated Skye before, I hated myself even more.

I was a selfish coward, I had kept Skye and my sister apart, I had lied to myself and told myself it was for David, but I realised now, it was for me only. I didn’t want my sister to live with Skye, I was afraid to lose my happy family, I was more afraid that if my sister really did fall in love, she would no longer loved me.

With that realisation, came comprehension, my sister did not love David, if she had loved him, Skye wouldn’t have been able to touch her like she had, yet David, loved her, he loved her so deeply he had stayed in that same house all these years.

***********************************************************

“What are you doing here?” David asked in he’s cold manner.

Skye was older than before, that youthful face beaming with love has been marred with time, a sense of loneliness hung about her, the same kind of loneliness I had detected in David.

She looked at me, nodded then turned and walked away, David didn’t stop her, and neither did I.

David started to act strange after that day, the return of Skye left him in trauma, I don’t understand why, since my sister had passed away, even if Skye returned she could do no harm to him.

My sisters birthday came up, as like each year we went to her grave, I had gone ahead of David as he was held up in traffic, my heart sank a little this morning, the blue envelop had not arrived on time.

It was idiotic of me to believe the envelopes would still come when Skye had at last found out my sister was dead, no doubt she would wonder where all those other letters had gone.

I stopped it my tracks, Skye stood just in front of my sister’s grave, her hand holding a little blue envelop, even from my distance I could see her eyes were brimming with tears.

She looked at me, nodded, she carefully places the envelop on the ground and walked away. I wanted to stop her, I wanted to say sorry, but my courage failed me.

I could hardly sleep that night, the box containing those blue envelops lay beneath my bed. David had once asked me what they were; I had lied and said old love letters I had not thrown away.

It was impossible for me to sleep, I have to return them. I must. I must admit to my fault and tell her the truth, my sister had never known she had written, my sisters coldness was in belief that she had moved on.

In three days time, would be that day when the blue envelop would arrive, I am sure Skye would be at the grave to hand over the blue envelop.

I arrived earlier than expected; I didn’t know what time Skye might arrive so I had asked for the day off.

The box of envelop, the last addition only 3 days ago, sat firming within my arms. For its basic appearance, who would have thought it held 15 years of love lost within.

Hearing footsteps I stood up, Skye stood from me no more than 4 meters away, her hands clutching a blue envelop.

“I’ve been waiting for you” I said lamely, trying desperately to keep my courage from receding.

She looked at me, looked at my sisters picture, putting the envelop in her pocket she smiled politely at me.

“It’s about time we had a chat.”