Just for laughs (Share ya daily funnies)

[LuNaR]

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[LuNaR]

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[LuNaR]

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[LuNaR]

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[remember_Cedric]

Nice contributions, everyone. LOL Lunar, you love this thread huh?

Sparky, I thought the favourite sport of Mexicans is.... Gun & Ranch?


Now, I have here, from a particular website. This comment-cum-question from an anonymous commenter (of the website), and reply from the website master by the name of Jim:

Anonymous poster: I loved your site. It's the work of pure genius. I have a problem that I think only a genius such as you can help me with. How do you know when a cat hates you? I ask because I think that my cat hates me. A lot. I think that my goldfish hates me, too.

Jim: Goldfish have only one brain cell, that cannot be in HATE-MODE all the time, because it has to eat. They also have a 10 second memory, so they will forget that they hate you and start all over, most likely by loving you, but that is a job for the stats folks to worry about. Now your cat... oh yeah, that bastard hates you.

[LuNaR]

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[LuNaR]

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[Sparky]

Is this something to due with immigration. Hurdles (over fences)?

Haha that's actually not bad...never thought of that. The answer I was looking for was Cross Country though. There are some really good XC jokes. "I'm bringing XC back."

AND WHOA LUNAR. Talk about hijacking a thread. You do realize this is in Academia...Han Solo is not gonna be impressed tsk tsk

[LuNaR]

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[LuNaR]

Haha that's actually not bad...never thought of that. The answer I was looking for was Cross Country though. There are some really good XC jokes. "I'm bringing XC back."

AND WHOA LUNAR. Talk about hijacking a thread. You do realize this is in Academia...Han Solo is not gonna be impressed tsk tsk

but im still on topic ok i'll stop now lol

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[remember_Cedric]

Lunar, it's your game huh? I like one with the man walking into the room and kicked the old woman in her head, and PWNT.

[LuNaR]

Lunar, it's your game huh? I like one with the man walking into the room and kicked the old woman in her head, and PWNT.

glad u enjoyed it

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[remember_Cedric]

glad u enjoyed it

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My favourite of all times. Stripe comics. To share with everyone. Enjoy!

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Caption: Mitnick(Cat) hates your computer because there is no mouse to play with. (courtesy of mycathatesyou.com)

Typewriter Favourites from Jerry Lewis (the inspiration of James Carey)

[Han Solo]

AND WHOA LUNAR. Talk about hijacking a thread. You do realize this is in Academia...Han Solo is not gonna be impressed tsk tsk

I'll give you guys some latitude on this thread but if you guys start spamming, the i'm gonna own this thread!

Han Solo

[LuNaR]

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[Jilly]

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[JamesG]

Found this on a WWII Aircraft site
"4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. "

[shen diao xia]

Just got this today;

Useful Translations - Dictionary for women's personal ads

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - *****

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?



MEN'S ENGLISH


1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

[remember_Cedric]

Just got this today;

Useful Translations - Dictionary for women's personal ads

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - *****

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?



MEN'S ENGLISH


1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

That translation, is toooo funny LOL!

It's easier to learn english, that way. That is my favourite part of english lessons


James, one acroymn LOL Psychologically funny

Jilly, that is one good suggestion for busy people. I could use that idea.

[PJ]

MEN'S ENGLISH


1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
[/FONT]

I think I'm getting the idea.

12. I farted = I'd like to have sex with you

13. Dude! That's my ***! = I'd like to have sex with you

14. Mommy, can I have some cereal? = I'd like to have sex with you

15. In the Jin Yong universe, no one has demonstrated the ability to absorb energy from a distance of 5+ meters away = I'd like to have sex with you

16. I'd like to have sex with you = I ran out of things to say