Western or Traditional Wedding?

[skylee]

This question was inspired by the "Asians raised overseas..." thread.

For those who intend on marrying in the future, do you plan on having a Western wedding ceremony or a Traditional one (or both)?

For those who have already married, what kind of ceremony did you have?

One of my cousins had a private little Chinese ceremony for the aunties and uncles, and then held a subsequent Western ceremony for her friends. Her husband came to her house, knocked on her door to ask for her hand with the "matchmaker," and they asked for the elders/ancestors' blessings and did the whole shebang. Then the entire wedding party (bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen) changed and went and did a Catholic ceremony. She had a Western style reception, though.

Personally, I prefer Asian style banquets -- the food's better. Actually, I prefer Asian weddings in general. I like that it's a day-long event, and you get to catch up with friends and family and whatnot. I also like the Chinese traditional dresses.

[Yeung Gor]

Neither, I prefer Wuxia style where you and your future spouse can simply kneel in front of a dusty statue of a saint in a rundown temple, and only heaven and earth are your witness as you bow three times to formalize the marriage. It's cheap and romantic.

[Dennis Chen]

Western weddings often seem to involve a church and something called god.

"Traditional" weddings involve elders in the famly and if you're really traditional, ancestors. I get that part. Obviously, the elders are the parents and other elders (and grandparents if a person is lucky) and the future spouse's parents (and other elders and grandparents).

I know my ancestors came before me or I would not exist. What's this god thing?

[Banh Mi]

Neither, I prefer Wuxia style where you and your future spouse can simply kneel in front of a dusty statue of a saint in a rundown temple, and only heaven and earth are your witness as you bow three times to formalize the marriage. It's cheap and romantic.

Sounds like an old school version of a Vegas wedding.

[Ken Cheng]

Neither, I prefer Wuxia style where you and your future spouse can simply kneel in front of a dusty statue of a saint in a rundown temple, and only heaven and earth are your witness as you bow three times to formalize the marriage. It's cheap and romantic.

Sounds like an old school version of a Vegas wedding.

All I have for you guys is a shameless fanfic plug.

But I *swear* it's on-topic...sort of.

What can I say? I'm an opportunist: I should be working in Hollywood...or for Madison Avenue.

[xJadedx]

I'd be having a "Western" styled wedding. I would like to have an outside wedding with a priest and my family and a few close friends. Basically, the smaller and more private, the better.

I may have an "Asian" styled wedding for fun after I officially get married, but I'm not too keen on those. From what I've seen, the Asian styled ones are often loud, fancy, and are more like a family party. I'd rather have a quiet, private ceremony than some fancy banquet where you bow to your ancestors, especially when the only family members I'd have at my wedding would be my parents.

Also, Western-style does NOT mean you need to be inside a church or that you even need to believe in God. Plenty of weddings can occur in the city hall, presided by a city official rather than a priest, if you are atheists or do not want a church wedding.

[jiang bao]

Some of my friends have done the chapel thing during the day and then had the banquet (with lots more people) at night in the chinese style.

[kay &!*]

ahh deja-vu all over again hahah.
i went to a wedding back in June, and theirs was Western. eff, it was so boring!
made me think about MY wedding. traditional no doubt! the food is better, and it's just.. less formal. friends and family don't feel obliged to "act" formal.. i want my wedding to be big and crazy! loud! bottles poppin' everywhere! screams left n right! yeahh

[Trinie]

I just went to a wedding banquet this past weekend and it was the typical traditional Asian wedding banquet. If I did get married one day, I would want a traditional one and try to mix some western customs in as well.My brother's wife's sister had a traditional one but she mixed in some American customs as well, like having a father daughter dance and mother son dance.They also took casual wedding pictures which were all American style. I have only been to one American wedding and did not really like it that much since it was not my style due to the really really loud music, but was something different.

[Trinie]

Neither, I prefer Wuxia style where you and your future spouse can simply kneel in front of a dusty statue of a saint in a rundown temple, and only heaven and earth are your witness as you bow three times to formalize the marriage. It's cheap and romantic.

Yea, I would like that as well... BUT if marriage is supposed to be just a once in a lifetime(which does not seem to be that way these days), then I think we should do more than just that. However, if marriage is not a once in a lifetime thing, then doing it the cheap wuxia way seems to be good and cheap as well.

[Trinie]

Western weddings often seem to involve a church and something called god.

"Traditional" weddings involve elders in the famly and if you're really traditional, ancestors. I get that part. Obviously, the elders are the parents and other elders (and grandparents if a person is lucky) and the future spouse's parents (and other elders and grandparents).

I know my ancestors came before me or I would not exist. What's this god thing?

I have noticed that in a lot of series lately(those modern Korean and Taiwanese series) that they always have a church like ceremony. I guess I can understand that for Korean series since Koreans are mostly Christians. However, I don't think a lot of Taiwanese are Christian or Catholic so why do they have so many of those church like ceremonies and God???

[Ken Cheng]

I was once a guest at a wedding where the bride and the groom batted the crap out of each other with elongated balloons, much to the delight of the guests. The two of them seemed to quite enjoy whacking each other with those rubber weapons.

I guess it was a good idea for them to get it out of their systems *before* spending the rest of their lives together.

[Yeung Gor]

Yea, I would like that as well... BUT if marriage is supposed to be just a once in a lifetime(which does not seem to be that way these days), then I think we should do more than just that. However, if marriage is not a once in a lifetime thing, then doing it the cheap wuxia way seems to be good and cheap as well.

Although I was half joking with my answer, what I like about wuxia wedding is that it isn't about putting on a show for others to recognize your union. It's really just about you two. And it shows that it isn't important whether you are wearing nice wedding clothes or have elaborate decorations and food to celebrate. It just about making that commitment be together for the rest of their life and that's all that matters. Of course the newlyweds will cook themselves a nice meal from what they can catch in the wild and make a toast with water as their wine to honor their special moment. That's what I call love.

[Candide]

As long as there's a rule in place to stop Asian chicks & cougars to stop ruining the photos with their rainbow thick makeups, I don't care whether it's Western or Asian.

Actually scratch that, I'm against marriage, full stop.

[expression]

As long as they don't clamor for divorce within a year, they have my blessing, Western or Oriental style.

[mi do ri]

Yea, I would like that as well... BUT if marriage is supposed to be just a once in a lifetime(which does not seem to be that way these days), then I think we should do more than just that. However, if marriage is not a once in a lifetime thing, then doing it the cheap wuxia way seems to be good and cheap as well.

You could go with the Wuxia style for a start and then throw a big one for your renewal, but I'm not sure why some people do renewals and some don't?

Judging from my sister's wedding, there really isn't a choice for me unless I want to break some hearts and be "unfilial" towards my parents. I don't know about other people's tradition, but it seems like for most of the Vietnamese that I know of, wedding is one of the few events that the parents get to show off and make it "theirs". Just like how if you marry the person, you are to some extent also marrying his or her family. Well, if there is going to be a wedding, it's the whole family's wedding, and not just yours and the groom's or bride's.

As for my own wedding, I'd probably go with traditional, but for wedding reception, I'd really like to have an outdoor one where it's nice during day time and even nicer during night time with lots of those lanterns and white Christmas lights. I want a semi-fairy tale ones. : )

[Ren Ying Ying]

I would like an Indian wedding.
It looks like so much fun and the saris look so pretty.
Too bad I'm not Indian. Maybe I should look for a spouse who is Indian. Or do one just for the sake of fun and have everyone go "WTF"?

[LuNaR]

i prefer western, its simple, shorter, and less $$$ going out.

i attended my cousin's wedding last month and he spent like 6k per table, and there were 40 tables. Add on all the gold his parents bought and the money he spent trying to open the bride's door, i say he spent a total of 60k. this is all rmb of course but its still a lot of money

[ByTmE]

I'm not that keen on getting married but I've overheard my mother's ideas about what kind of wedding I'm apparently going to have haha. In her opinion, she'd like an "Asian" styled one in the United States and another one in the home country where it's going to be a huge party where all the relatives there can eat free. If I do happen to get married...uhm I think I'll let her decide too. If my partner is of a different culture, then I'll accommodate his wishes alongside my mother's because I don't really have an opinion as of yet. haha I told my mom once that it was okay to just get a marriage license [because I'm busy, dude] and she firmly said no.

[Ren Ying Ying]

Lunie, western receptions may be just as expensive depending on how many guests you are inviting and how fancy you want the reception to be...