Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Wulin Gazette

  1. #1
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,369

    Default Wulin Gazette

    THE WULIN GAZETTE

    The World's # 1 Source of Daily News From Wulin

    Edition 77, Issue 49

    Sunday, November 15, 1100

    5 copper coins; 8 copper coins on Sundays

    BEGGAR'S UNION CHIEF KIU FUNG IDENTIFIED AS KHITAN; RESIGNS AS UNION CHIEF

    by Ken Cheng, Wulin Gazette staff writer

    APRICOT WOOD, Gong Nam, China - Beggar's Union officials revealed Saturday evening that their Chief, Kiu Fung, is in fact a Khitan descendant.

    In recognition of the ongoing Khitan/Sung war, Beggar's Union regulations stipulate that Khitan men are forbidden membership in the union.

    "Naturally, if Kiu Fung is a Khitan, then according to our bylaws, he could no longer remain a member of our union, let alone serve as chief," remarked Elder Bai, one of Kiu's closest former associates in the Beggar's Union.

    Chief Kiu could not be reached for comment, but was heard shouting, "I AM A KHITAN!" from several kilometers away.

    "It's a dark, dark day for our Beggar's Union," remarked Elder Sung, "Chief Kiu...excuse me, former Chief Kiu was the reason why our union was respected throughout wulin. Without his leadership and his martial arts skills, it will be much more difficult for us to contend with the Mo Yung Family and the warriors of Hsi-Hsia."

    Not all members of the Beggar's Union were sorry to see the end of Kiu's tenure, however.

    "Good riddance," said Elder Cheun Gwoon Ching, "I knew that guy was bad, bad news the day he joined the union. We'll be better off without him. At least we now know we can trust all of our brothers in the union."

    Beggar's Union officials have declined to speculate on who will serve as their next chief, although Bai, Sung, and Cheun are probable candidates. Official word from Beggar's Union headquarters is that the matter will be decided at next month's conference.

    Kiu Fung first became Chief of the Beggar's Union after the death of the previous chief, Chief Wong. Chief Kiu's Hong Lung 28 Palms have created quite a stir in wulin in recent years.


    Other Stories:

    Sports: Chinese-Mongolian Archer Shoots Down Two Condors With One Arrow in Mongolia (see Page 2)

    Science: Unusual Honeybee Activity Found In Vicinity of Mt. Chung Nam (see Page 3)

    Business: Sai Mun's Bakery To Open 1,000 New Franchises Nationwide (see Page 4)

    Arts and Entertainment: Peach Blossom Island Band To Perform In Gong Nam Next Month (see Page 5)

    Health: Castration For Martial Arts Training: Is It Really Worth It? (see Page 6)

    Weather Today: Snow Storm Predicted For Summit of Mt. Hua (see Page 7)

  2. #2
    Senior Member forgot password's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    449

    Default

    funny stuff, but there should be a gossip column for the Shaolin-Abbotgate.

  3. #3
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,369

    Default

    ***ADVERTISEMENT***

    ONE NIGHT ONLY!

    THE GA HING VILLAGE THEATER

    THE PEACH BLOSSOM ISLAND BAND IN CONCERT!

    Maestro/Flute: East Heretic Wong Yerk See

    Lead Guzheng: Wong Yung

    Rhythm Guzheng: Luk Sing Fung

    Drums: Gwok Jing

    TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

    $this->handle_bbcode_img_match('http://img.tv.cctv.com/image/20080829/IMAG1219990252191485.jpg')

    THE PEACH BLOSSOM ISLAND BAND FIVE LAKES, FOUR SEAS TOUR CONTINUES...

    November 21, 22: Seung Yeung

    November 28, 29: Bien Leung

    December 5 (one night only): Yinjing (sold out)

    December 24 - January 2: Lin-an

    ***ADVERTISEMENT***

  4. #4
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    5,498

    Default

    Errata : Quan Guan Qing is not an Elder. He is an 8 pouched disciple.


    Where is the 'Aunt Agony' column with Bao Bu Tong?

    And the food review from H7G?

    And the 'Make-Up and Beauty' column from Chief Dongfang.
    Its BIxie Jianfa Gawdammit you guys!!!!

  5. #5
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,369

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CC View Post
    Errata : Quan Guan Qing is not an Elder. He is an 8 pouched disciple.


    Where is the 'Aunt Agony' column with Bao Bu Tong?

    And the food review from H7G?

    And the 'Make-Up and Beauty' column from Chief Dongfang.
    Hey, well...this newspaper isn't a one-man operation.

    We need WRITERS.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    3,580

    Default

    Nice work Ken. Much, much better than reading about Yang Guo bashing. Story titles are pretty awesome.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Extremer88's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    LOHAH - Land of Honour & Happiness
    Posts
    2,405

    Thumbs up

    This is uber creative. Thumbs up.
    ..ext88

  8. #8
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    18,425

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tape View Post
    Nice work Ken. Much, much better than reading about Yang Guo bashing.
    I agree. Let's all spend more time enjoying than bashing.
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    523

    Default

    THE WULIN GAZETTE

    The World's # 1 Source of Daily News From Wulin

    Edition 77, Issue 49

    Sunday, November 15, 1100

    5 copper coins; 8 copper coins on Sundays

    BEGGAR'S UNION CHIEF KIU FUNG IDENTIFIED AS KHITAN; RESIGNS AS UNION CHIEF

    by Ken Cheng, Wulin Gazette staff writer

    APRICOT WOOD, Gong Nam, China - Beggar's Union officials revealed Saturday evening that their Chief, Kiu Fung, is in fact a Khitan descendant.

    In recognition of the ongoing Khitan/Sung war, Beggar's Union regulations stipulate that Khitan men are forbidden membership in the union.

    "Naturally, if Kiu Fung is a Khitan, then according to our bylaws, he could no longer remain a member of our union, let alone serve as chief," remarked Elder Bai, one of Kiu's closest former associates in the Beggar's Union.

    Chief Kiu could not be reached for comment, but was heard shouting, "I AM A KHITAN!" from several kilometers away.

    "It's a dark, dark day for our Beggar's Union," remarked Elder Sung, "Chief Kiu...excuse me, former Chief Kiu was the reason why our union was respected throughout wulin. Without his leadership and his martial arts skills, it will be much more difficult for us to contend with the Mo Yung Family and the warriors of Hsi-Hsia."

    Not all members of the Beggar's Union were sorry to see the end of Kiu's tenure, however.

    "Good riddance," said Elder Cheun Gwoon Ching, "I knew that guy was bad, bad news the day he joined the union. We'll be better off without him. At least we now know we can trust all of our brothers in the union."

    Beggar's Union officials have declined to speculate on who will serve as their next chief, although Bai, Sung, and Cheun are probable candidates. Official word from Beggar's Union headquarters is that the matter will be decided at next month's conference.

    Kiu Fung first became Chief of the Beggar's Union after the death of the previous chief, Chief Wong. Chief Kiu's Hong Lung 28 Palms have created quite a stir in wulin in recent years.


    Other Stories:

    Sports: Chinese-Mongolian Archer Shoots Down Two Condors With One Arrow in Mongolia (see Page 2)

    Science: Unusual Honeybee Activity Found In Vicinity of Mt. Chung Nam (see Page 3)

    Business: Sai Mun's Bakery To Open 1,000 New Franchises Nationwide (see Page 4)

    Arts and Entertainment: Peach Blossom Island Band To Perform In Gong Nam Next Month (see Page 5)

    Health: Castration For Martial Arts Training: Is It Really Worth It? (see Page 6)

    Weather Today: Snow Storm Predicted For Summit of Mt. Hua (see Page 7)
    Now that was funny!
    有了你開心D乜都清心滿意鹹魚白菜也好好味

  10. #10
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    18,425

    Default

    ***ELOC of the Week***
    This week, we introduce you a special ELOC from East of the Mountain: The God of Justice, The Justice of God, IRON FACED JUSTICE GOD IMPARTIAL JUDGE Shan Zheng! Presented in Demi-Gods Semi-Devils during the Qiao Feng identity crisis, IMPARTIAL JUDGE Shan Zheng is best known for having his sword helplessly snatched by Xiao Feng through the air without physical contact.

    ***Riddle of the Day***
    Few know me,
    Though many know the one who uses me.
    My very name exemplifies the purpose of swordsmanship;
    To kill other men!
    What am I?
    (C) Ren Wo Xing

    ***Cantonese Name Education of the Day***
    Wan Hok Sai = Yin Kexi
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  11. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    182

    Default

    Reward if Found

    Last seen at an inn near Ox Family Village, green bamboo stick. No Questions asked, reward if found. Contact your local Beggar's Clan Headquarters.

Similar Threads

  1. Wuxia: What If you're part of wulin?
    By Suet Seung in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-01-09, 01:43 PM
  2. Wulin Mengzhu
    By PJ in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-08-07, 01:10 AM
  3. Who do the wulin elite spar against?
    By Ken Cheng in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-03-06, 02:48 PM
  4. Rules Of Wulin: Who created them?
    By TommyH in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 04-12-06, 04:24 AM
  5. Wulin University
    By bliss in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 09-08-05, 02:59 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •