The 10 Biggest Myths About Guys

[kidd]

Msn sometime have interest article. I read this last week. What do you think, guys and girls?

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/deb...tory?gt1=49006

The 10 Biggest Myths About Guys

May 21, 2010

We always find ourselves unable to resist clicking on those articles that claim to know "what he's really thinking" — so when we came across this man's point-of-view piece, we were immediately intrigued. Here's an inside look at the male psyche that helps us better understand the supposedly simpler sex. —Glo

By Brendan Tapley for Woman's Day

What makes a man? The mythology surrounding this question still looms large. So much so that men often experience a hidden battle: whether their decisions should be self-determined or dictated by how masculine they will seem to others. Do I let my wife know how much something is bothering me or will that come across as not being in control? Do I speak my mind at work or does that risk being seen as too emotional? If I take a stand on a principle that bucks the boys' club, will I lose status? Luckily, women can be strong advocates for change by encouraging men to evolve and expand beyond the stereotypes. Take a look at the 10 biggest falsehoods about men that, when debunked, can lead us to true masculinity.

Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional

This may come as a surprise, but men are probably more emotional than women. How is this possible? Unlike femininity, masculinity doesn't permit emoting on a regular basis, so men are like Victorian novels: placid on the outside, but concealing a deep emotional life within. Convincing a man that it is masculine to open up — in fact, it takes more cojones to do so — is a cause women should embrace. By encouraging men to reveal their true feelings, women are helping them release pent-up emotions, leading to a happier and healthier guy.

Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most

Yes, sex is important to men. It's one of the ways we access our imaginations. (At times, it might seem like the only way we do.) But one of the big secrets about men is how much they long for real solidarity with their partner. And sex, because it makes the imagination literal, is something we rely on to achieve that bonded feeling. Next time you see your mate's desire for sex as chauvinistic, remember that he may be asking for proof that you and he are the team he fantasizes about.

Myth #3: A Man Is His Job

For most men, the pressures of work stem from two things: a desire to excel at something (a principle of manhood we were taught as boys) and a need to contribute to the well-being of our families. But duty is not the same as identity, and what one does is not the same as who one is. This is true for women, too; but, culturally, men are more defined by their professions, which can keep their passions — what really identifies them — invisible. Talking with men about their interests is a great way to get away from the conventional ways they are seen — even how they see themselves — which will help ensure a more unconventional (and improved) masculinity.

Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures

“Men are underdeveloped” is the most effective propaganda the male sex has created. Your belief in our limitations brings certain “rewards” (i.e. expectations are lowered; bad behavior is tolerated; apathy becomes a non-negotiable). Women, the usual victims of these limitations, most likely buy into the idea because it elevates them. The thing is, men are not limited; and if women decide to sacrifice a little superiority, they will gain better treatment by men. Just look at the vibrant imagination of any five-year-old boy or recall the way past boyfriends have courted you — we can be highly animated, curious, loving and devoted. Holding your guy to a higher standard may not get thanks right away, but it will actually liberate him to be a more expansive, and more real, man.

Myth #5: Men Hate to Commit

Masculinity is one of the most oppressive forces, as far as behavior goes, because it demands that men appear “tough” at all times — thereby avoiding any overt displays of love and affection, which can be detrimental to a relationship. How often have you witnessed a man shut down during a tender moment or make a joke to detour from it? The toll this eventually takes is enormous, depriving men of the riches of intimacy — one of which is completely giving over to a true and loving partnership. While men may appear to prize freedom and independence, in their heart of hearts they truly value loyalty. In standing by her man, a woman can fill a primal absence. And once he realizes you have his back, he will start to show his feelings in his own way — which may not be “traditional” romantic gestures, but they will be gestures nonetheless.

Myth #6: Guys Don't Communicate

Men like to talk — have you ever tried asking us the best way to get somewhere? But we often censor ourselves based on how we think women might react to a deeper honesty. So, there are times we just don't bother. This is unfortunate, because men's internal lives are interesting and telling, and getting to know them by suspending judgment will encourage a man to be more open and more revealing to you.

Myth #7: A Woman's Looks Are Everything

Non, nein, nope. A woman's beauty is a thing to behold, and sometimes we can behold it at the wrong times (like when passing another woman on the sidewalk). But that's just visual titillation. The stimulus that matters most reaches our hearts and minds. A woman with a laser-like intelligence, sharp sense of humor and a compassionate soul — now, that's a centerfold.

Myth #8: Men Don't Take Things Personally

This is certainly a myth we would like to believe about ourselves. Nothing fazes us: We're breezy, easy, confident. Yeah, right. The fact is that men take many things personally — the light teasing about our paunch, the less-than-stellar bedroom performance, the snide colleague at work — but the principles of masculinity prevent our admitting them. The problem is, these things come out in ways that truly affect us. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men commit suicide four times as often as women, and suicide currently ranks as the seventh leading cause of death for men. Watching for when a guy might be repressing reactions for the sake of masculine pride, and asking him to forgo that habit, is one way women can literally save a man's life.

Myth #9: Guys Don't Listen to Criticism

It's hard to argue that this one is a myth. But the reason men can be diva-like when it comes to criticism is because said criticism is rarely delivered in a way we understand. Women tend to talk around the problem, but it's okay to get in our faces every now and then and just say what's on your mind. Sometimes, the greatest act of love is taking someone seriously enough to risk offending them. In a weird way, those tough conversations get at the truth and, in calling attention to our blind spots, are about helping us. It's when couples no longer think it's worth the trouble that they have to worry. So, next time, try some tough love: We can take it.

Myth #10: Boys and Girls Are So Different

Okay, so your son prefers horseplay and trucks, and your daughter likes dolls and playing dress-up. Who cares! The things that matter in life — whether your kids are ethical; whether they are kind to others; how they achieve self-fulfillment — are as important to recognize in adults as they are in children. Just as you wouldn't indulge your son's overconfidence because that seems “male,” don't allow your husband to get away with things that hurt your feelings because “that's how guys are.” The fact is, when it comes to men and women, our mythologies are — and should be — about living more authentic lives.

[ByTmE]

If anyone has lived with men before, than they should know that these are all myths. Whose the target audience for MSN anyway LoL? Okay, I confess to reading these too from time to time.

Here's an inside look at the male psyche that helps us better understand the supposedly simpler sex. —Glo

That's right, supposedly is the key word here girls and boys.

Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional

I thought that this myth was debunked long ago! Is it really surprising that men are more emotional? If they weren't, then how come they are prone to such extremes of jealousy, violent rages, and shouting outbursts? Conversely, some of them are moody and sulky, such a turn off dude. Victorian novels? Not nearly so profound...hell if I'm going to work on convincing and encouraging a grown a$$ person to communicate like one.

Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most

I also thought this was long ago debunked! Aren't most guys moving from being a walking hard on to be more sensitive new age guys? In truth, there are many women who are just like how men are imagined in this paragraph. We like to bond through sex too, it's a myth that women don't.

Myth #3: A Man Is His Job

Oh? Duty is not the same as identity, yes I already knew that. And what one does is not the same as who one is, I already knew this too! Men are more defined by their professions than women are? I wasn't aware of this existing belief. You're silly, MSN.

Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures

This is just insulting, LoL. This must be a Western myth, and I'm too much of a FOB to understand it hAhA. In truth, I think men are capable of many great and wonderful things, and so are women. However, men are often under greater pressure to actually ACHIEVE those great and wonderful things. This is a man haters myth.

Myth #5: Men Hate to Commit

Men I know risk and sacrifice many things to be with the woman they love i.e. daddy, first brother, uncles, male cousin in laws...in fact, many males marry into my family and bring over all of their kin...we adopt everyone LoL. We're a Khmer Mafia.

Holding your guy to a higher standard may not get thanks right away, but it will actually liberate him to be a more expansive, and more real, man.

Why would you look down on him in the first place if you adore him???

Myth #6: Guys Don't Communicate

Number 6 should be a sub-category under number 1. There is some truth to this, but rather it should be guys communicate differently from gals. If you spend more time getting to know your men, translation becomes much easier. I think guys have a version for girls, "When women say one thing, they really mean something else that's obscure and non-derivable within logical thinking..."

Myth #7: A Woman's Looks Are Everything

hah HaH hah HAH...how can this still be an existing myth? Even great ancient classics will tell you it takes more than looks to capture a man's heart...capturing his attention though is much easier and applies to said myth....but men have short attention spans LoL Besides, we all look, gawd.

Myth #8: Men Don't Take Things Personally

Pettiness is not gender dependent. You're silly, MSN. Hardy har Har har...though I will admit many more guys are willing to overlook many things that a woman may not...and vice versa of course. I've met a lot of petty guys, and well in truth, it's shocking to behold, I guess this one does hold some power over us. With age, some intuitive females come to understand that the men in our lives are more sensitive than the fairer sex.

Myth #9: Guys Don't Listen to Criticism

Who the heck likes criticism? Let's be honest, even constructive criticism is hard to swallow sometimes.

Myth #10: Boys and Girls Are So Different

Heh...I used to teach first graders...it's really very individual. I don't think this one should be included in this list.

Thanks kidd for the fun men and women articles!

[Guo Xiang]

Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most

Yes, sex is important to men. It's one of the ways we access our imaginations. (At times, it might seem like the only way we do.) But one of the big secrets about men is how much they long for real solidarity with their partner. And sex, because it makes the imagination literal, is something we rely on to achieve that bonded feeling. Next time you see your mate's desire for sex as chauvinistic, remember that he may be asking for proof that you and he are the team he fantasizes about.

This really depends on the guy you are dating.

Holding your guy to a higher standard may not get thanks right away, but it will actually liberate him to be a more expansive, and more real, man.

My impression is that they will never thank you, and will not become more man, and in fact reveal the kind of wusses they are. But I'm talking about a segment of men that gave me that impression... Some guys, when they really love a woman, it is very likely they will seek to reach the standards asked of them, even when the standards are ridiculous.

[Banh Mi]

This article is stupid, I don't even know where to begin.

[Candide]

A guy who writes to Woman's Day is a bottom gay guy.

Try asking a manly man.

[ByTmE]

A guy who writes to Woman's Day is a bottom gay guy.

Try asking a manly man.

Manly man? How and where would one go about finding one?

[Candide]

He'd be wearing a fedora and sport an awesome mo or beard.

Also can lift that gay Woman's Day guy up and press him overhead then throw him over a cliff.

[remember_Cedric]

Manly man? How and where would one go about finding one?

ByTme, Candide is trying to say that he is one (manly man).

[ByTmE]

ByTme, Candide is trying to say that he is one (manly man).

Oh really? I didn't know that haha! If that's the case...then...hmmm

He'd be wearing a fedora and sport an awesome mo or beard.

..does the manly man look like Ding Zi Jun??? AKA General Meng Tian AKA Meng Xing Hun???

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[Banh Mi]

Clark Gable fits the bill more.

[Han Solo]

Oh really? I didn't know that haha! If that's the case...then...hmmm



..does the manly man look like Ding Zi Jun??? AKA General Meng Tian AKA Meng Xing Hun???

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Holysh..t,

I thought you were posting pics of Candide.

He looks like pic no. 1!!

Han Solo

P/s: Btw, Manly Man = Homer!!!

[Candide]

Don't think I look like #1, mate, although I like how he rolls. Fedora, casual shirt & jeans and nice simple classic watch (in fact I have the same fedora and watch). I have bigger traps, shoulders and quads, I tend to grow thicker facial hair and I scare little children.

That guy's cool, but he really needs to get his arse in a squat rack and lift some big weights.

[pemberly]

i don't know why, but reading candy's posts usually make me involuntarily roll my eyes.

[Guo Xiang]

Don't think I look like #1, mate, although I like how he rolls. Fedora, casual shirt & jeans and nice simple classic watch (in fact I have the same fedora and watch). I have bigger traps, shoulders and quads, I tend to grow thicker facial hair and I scare little children.

That guy's cool, but he really needs to get his arse in a squat rack and lift some big weights.

HAHAHA I do agree he looks rather scrawny in those pictures. Doesn't help that he looks quite feminine too.

[xJadedx]

i don't know why, but reading candy's posts usually make me involuntarily roll my eyes.

You're not alone :P.

[Candide]

Stop rolling your eyes back ladies or your boyfriends may think you're dirty-chatting with a strange guy on the Net.

[ByTmE]

HAHAHA I do agree he looks rather scrawny in those pictures. Doesn't help that he looks quite feminine too.

LoL I think Ding Zi Jun's a hottie, if Candide could successfully rock that look [or any guy] he automatically would fall into the "worthy of second bathroom trip glance" LoL! FYI he's an avid surfer, diver, and I believe dabbles in martial arts and swordsmanship. Dude, can't help it if he looks like his mother [whom I've heard is a beauty].

Stop rolling your eyes back ladies or your boyfriends may think you're dirty-chatting with a strange guy on the Net.

In a way, this statement is true. They are talking about, well, you and your posts.

[xJadedx]

Stop rolling your eyes back ladies or your boyfriends may think you're dirty-chatting with a strange guy on the Net.

A. That doesn't make any sense.
B. If the girls you're dirty-chatting with are displaying that behaviour, you're doing it wrong.

[Candide]

Oh, it's obvious now that your BF has never made you roll your eyes back. Poor Jade.

[pemberly]

Oh, it's obvious now that your BF has never made you roll your eyes back. Poor Jade.

oh, there i go again.