The Yeung Gor Hatred Analysis Thread

[tape]

Well, likely the advice you got in the past sucked, was incomplete, or you didn't follow it and only followed the parts you wanted to.

I didn't click on that link, but if it's just a dating site, your reaction is over the top. Shred of self respect? Surrendering? Please. It's the 21st century, dating sites are incredibly common and the most normal of people use them. If you go into them with such a haughty attitude and look like you're from attack of the geeks, then sure people will laugh at you and think that's exactly the type of person dating sites are for, but if you're a normal, confident outgoing person, then no it is not a strange thing at all.

You have preconceived notions about certain things it seems, and a lot of it stems from romanticized concepts of love and morality and justice in the world. The world is not like that. The sooner you realize that the better.

[tape]

And just remember that every bit of good advice just adds onto the numbers game aspect of life. If you're a happy and optimistic guy, you get +1% chance of finding and achieving what you want. If you look good, you have another 1%, if you have financial and academic success, another 1% etc....

All the good advice given to you is just increasing your probability of finding what you want. In the end you might not get it, but right now wouldn't it be better to have a 85% chance of finding what you want, then having a 30% by being a bitter old man?

[hoatran]

WHY would I want to do this? If there's one thing I find supremely offensive, it's the idea that I would fabricate the most painful moments of my life just for some stupid Internet joke.

AS IF that would happen!

How would anyone know for sure? You are a fiction writer... OK.. OK.. that doesn't mean anything. But your behavior on this forum versus what you described of your life don't seem to match. You are a little like Yang Guo on this forum: you straddle the line between good and bad. Granted that you don't have the reckless streak like Yang Guo's, but you are agressive, indominable, tough to pin down sometimes, but at the same time you respect the rules of the forum, calm, fair and logical at times. On the other hand, the life you described of yourself seem to be more like Song Yuan Qiao in HSDS who was weak, easily dominated by people with stronger personalities, jealous of the people who got what he did not, and foolishly committed to the kind of one way love that was never reciprocated. But more than that, with your intelligence and your strong personalities displayed in this forum, you stuck very strongly to some childhood issues that 99.9% people in the world routinely got over of. That is why I was never sure whether you were for real or not.

[Ken Cheng]

How would anyone know for sure?

Because you couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to.

You are a fiction writer... OK.. OK.. that doesn't mean anything.

The only fiction I write is that GUNDAM fan fiction, and it's nothing at all like my real life. Although there's a part of myself in many of those characters, none of them resemble or represent me at all.

But your behavior on this forum versus what you described of your life don't seem to match.

I admit that I'm a complex person. Even I don't get me sometimes.

[sorceress]

Ken, do you really want any help? or you just want someone or something you can point your finger to blame for something lacking in your love / life?

I have plenty of single friends in their 30s, some of them are miserable of being single, some are quite happy being single. If you are really miserable of being single, then try online dating site, there’s nothing wrong or low about it. Some of my friends did find life partners through those sites, some did not work, but at least they are doing something. I have most respect for people who have tried and failed, rather the ones that keep whining that all good men/women are either taken or gay etc and yet not doing anything about it.

[Ken Cheng]

You have preconceived notions about certain things it seems, and a lot of it stems from romanticized concepts of love and morality and justice in the world. The world is not like that. The sooner you realize that the better.

And where did these preconceived notions come from? They didn't spring out of nowhere: they were drilled into my head by my cousins during that summer of 1985. THAT came about as a direct consequence of those three months of brainwashing. I believed it because they gave me no respite to believe anything else...to the extent that I tried to *live* it, at a cost to me that I continue to pay to this very day.

So do you understand why I fight so hard against the worship of Yeung Gor and Little Dragon Girl? It's too late to do anything for myself, but I don't want anybody to ever, ever, EVER fall for that lie again.

[tape]

As a English teacher then, do you really hate teaching those really romanticized concepts then ? Some poor sap just got a C- for admiring a love story

Just wondering...cause it seems half of the fiction in this world would be pretty irritating for you to teach. Howard Roark is pretty Yang Guo-esque.

[Candide]

Not that I'm not sympathetic to Ken's problem, but only on an Asian forum like this can I imagine one person receiving such outpouring of good-willed condolences and advices all these years, despite refusing to do anything about his problem.

I have to agree. People here are way too nice to him.

[kidd]

I was told, by the people who *supposedly* knew about these things (e.g. the adults in my life), that all I had to do was study hard, get into a good college, earn a degree or two, and then get a good job and everything else would just *naturally* fall into place.

Uh, this is what 99% of parents who want their children to have a good future tell their children. What parents will their young children that 'life sux, you would never get everything you want, even if you study hard and get a good job, you still won't get everything you want'. No decent parents will tell their children this.

Secondly, your parents most probably believe what they told you i.e. studying hard and getting a good job will ensure you a good life.

Lastly, things do kinda fall into place, right? I remember you said you dated a few women and they are good women, intelligent and charming (and you admitted, also has better qualities that Diana).

So, you have

- Decent job
- Decent income
- Chances to date women better than your first crush

Not really a bad deal.

[Ken Cheng]

As a English teacher then, do you really hate teaching those really romanticized concepts then ? Some poor sap just got a C- for admiring a love story

No work of fiction I've ever taught has ever even come close to resembling ROCH. I don't always get my choice of works to teach, but the most common texts that come up again and again include JULIUS CAESAR, FAHRENHEIT 451, LORD OF THE FLIES, A FAREWELL TO MANZANAR, and ANIMAL FARM (among others). These books are pretty light on the mushy romance factor.

The closest thing I can think of to ROCH that comes up in my teaching canon with any regularity is probably THE GREAT GATSBY, and while that novel does have its problematic characters, I don't have much of a problem with it.

Just wondering...cause it seems half of the fiction in this world would be
pretty irritating for you to teach. Howard Roark is pretty Yang Guo-esque.

Don't know who Howard Roark is, but there really aren't many Yeung Gor-like characters out there...at least not in serious literature.

[LuNaR]

No work of fiction I've ever taught has ever even come close to resembling ROCH. I don't always get my choice of works to teach, but the most common texts that come up again and again include JULIUS CAESAR, FAHRENHEIT 451, LORD OF THE FLIES, A FAREWELL TO MANZANAR, and ANIMAL FARM (among others). These books are pretty light on the mushy romance factor.
.

i see u are a high school teacher haha

[Ken Cheng]

i see u are a high school teacher haha

Not exactly. I don't work for a public high school. You might call me an independent contractor (AKA a gun for hire): I work for a private institute whose job is to fill in the gaps that the public schools leave in students' education. Our clientele is literally all ages, with the youngest being as young as five years old and the oldest as old as sixty-five. That's half of my income. The other half comes from my freelance work. The freelance stuff is dominated by college-age students.

[LuNaR]

Not exactly. I don't work for a public high school. You might call me an independent contractor (AKA a gun for hire): I work for a private institute whose job is to fill in the gaps that the public schools leave in students' education. Our clientele is literally all ages, with the youngest being as young as five years old and the oldest as old as sixty-five. That's half of my income. The other half comes from my freelance work. The freelance stuff is dominated by college-age students.

so a substitute teacher + tutor?

wheres rayanna story!!!

[remember_Cedric]

I was told, by the people who *supposedly* knew about these things (e.g. the adults in my life), that all I had to do was study hard, get into a good college, earn a degree or two, and then get a good job and everything else would just *naturally* fall into place.

OK...I did everything they told me I was supposed to do...scrupulously...conscientiously. I'm no closer to "naturally falling into place" than I was twenty-five years ago. What the hell happened?

Well, the adults weren't wrong. At least now you have the time to cry to the moon about your downside on romance instead of a grey future due to not having a decent degree and proper job. What if you had refused to listen to those adults and foolishly indulged yourself in the oh-take-me-to-the-moon romance?

[kidd]

so a substitute teacher + tutor?

wheres rayanna story!!!

You can check out here. Lots of Rayann mentioned, but, don't know if got the whole story or not.

http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showthre...ghlight=rayann

[Ken Cheng]

so a substitute teacher + tutor?

Not substitute, no. My group isn't affiliated with any public school program at all. We're hired by parents (and by college students) who want the kids to learn stuff that the public schools don't or won't teach. Unlike the public schools, we don't have to play political games. We can just plain old TEACH and not worry about what the government wants or doesn't want.

wheres rayanna story!!!

OK, OK. For most of the readers, this is a rerun, but just for you, Lune...

In August of 2007, I got a phone call from a young woman named Rainie, a student at a local college who needed some help with her writing so she could graduate from college. She told me her younger sister Rayann, who was also in college (two years younger) needed even more help than she did, and that it would be a year's commitment (at least). They called on the recommendation of one of my previous students.

I had no idea what to expect. When I got the call, I assumed it was just another job...just like hundreds I had taken before. All I thought I had coming was another big payday.

A few days later, I called on the house where the sisters lived with their aunties (their parents were in Taiwan). It was quite a palatial place in a gated community; undoubtedly, the girls were rich.

I met Rainie (the older one) first...pleasant enough looking, friendly, and always wearing these dark-rimmed glasses that made her look sort of like an Asian Tina Fey (Rayann later told me that Rainie LITERALLY never took off her glasses...not when she went to bed...not in the shower).

A few minutes later, Rainie introduced me to her younger sister Rayann.

I was stunned because she looked *exactly* like Diana had twenty years earlier. Her fashion sense, hairstyle, of course, were updated for 2007, but other than these period details, she was Diana-II...except new and improved (they're quite similar, but Rayann was somewhat superior to Diana in looks...kind of like an improved, newer version of the same model of car, if you know what I mean).

Still, at first, for the first two months or so, I don't think I was in love with her. I noted the similarity to Diana and naturally, I found her hella attractive, but at *that* point, if she'd just suddenly disappeared from my life...I think I would have been OK with it. I didn't have much invested in her at that point, so it was still easy-come-easy go. Things wouldn't turn serious until late December/early January.

Rayann was one of my more frustrating students from a purely teaching point of view. I try to train my students to be better readers, thinkers, and writers...to hone their craft so that even after I stop teaching them, they can hold their own in any writing situation. Rayann wasn't interested in this: she just wanted "quick fixes": do as little work as possible and still get the high grade. From a practical point of view, I couldn't blame her, but from a teaching point of view, working with her was a bit frustrating because I had to spend a great amount of time just coaxing her to write. This is not a problem I have with most of my other students.

Rayann wasn't terribly interested in my advice on writing (except when she had an essay due and *really* needed to get a decent grade on it), but she did enjoy hanging out with me (not sure why, though; we're completely different personalities). I guess we had great fun together because we both had wacky senses of humor (something Diana had less of back in the day).

Things got serious around Christmastime in 2007. I was at Rayann's late one night, helping her to figure out an essay assignment that was due in two days. She had written a rough draft that was nearly incomprehensible (we used to waste huge amounts of time just laughing at the streams-of-consciousness nonsense she strung together in her first drafts) and I was trying to figure out how to make sense of it. That's when I felt her leaning her head against my back and her arms around my waist.

To say I was turned on was an understatement of epic proportions: here I was, alone with a girl who was the spitting image of Diana, and she was coming on to me.

I held her close and stroked her hair. She really enjoyed it. Somehow, however, we refocused on that essay and got it done. She got an "A-" on it (to be honest, I completely reengineered that essay from the ground up; her draft just wasn't going to pass muster and I knew it).

From that point on, we grew closer and closer over the next few months. More and more often, she'd call me up when she *didn't* have any assignments due and asked me to just visit her or go out with her. It was a great time...the best six months or so I'd had in my entire adult life. For the first time since Diana nineteen years earlier, I looked forward to getting up in the morning and getting on with my day...and I dared to dream about a bright future.

In April of 2008, Rayann and I took a quick weekend trip to San Francisco together (she'd never been there before). It was a great time, especially when we went for dim sum on a cold afternoon at this small Chinese deli on Clement Avenue and watched the Lakers win Game 1 of Round 1 against the Nuggets (I'd turned her into a Lakers fan during our time together).

Our birthdays are about a week apart (different years, obviously): for her birthday that year, I got her this HUGE ink pen that looked vaguely phallic. She thought it was hilarious and began to carry it with her everywhere...usually clipped to her bag.

About a month later, her class ended and my job was done. She had to go back to Taiwan for the summer to see her family, but she promised that when she came back in August, nothing would change between us.

It was a long summer. I missed her quite a bit, but I looked forward to her return in August. It was during this summer that my posting habits here at SPCNET began to take a decidedly weird turn.

Eventually, she did come back, but...her attitude towards me changed completely. She was still friendly and pleasant enough, but for some reason, the closeness we'd shared for six months between December and June just evaporated as if it'd never happened. I asked her why, but she declined to talk about it. She just thanked me for helping her pass her English class and told me that she wouldn't need any more help. I saw her one more time in October of that year when she asked me for advice on helping a friend of hers who had developed substance abuse problems (I know the friend). That was the last I ever saw of her.

So October, 2008 was exactly like October, 1988 twenty years earlier...similar girl, similar ending. What a fool I felt like. I'd learned *nothing* in twenty years, and was right back where I had started.

[ByTmE]

I have to agree. People here are way too nice to him.

I think people here are nice in general and much nicer in comparison to other Asian forums I've visited...and Ken is a well thought of member, usually.

Oh it just dawned on me that this thread got a new name....I was wondering why it showed up in my User CP. It's a very appropriate name haha.

[Ken Cheng]

Well, the adults weren't wrong. At least now you have the time to cry to the moon about your downside on romance instead of a grey future due to not having a decent degree and proper job. What if you had refused to listen to those adults and foolishly indulged yourself in the oh-take-me-to-the-moon romance?

My beef with the adults is that they set it up an extreme, binary choice: it was one or the other. Either go supernerd and deny myself all relationships during adolescence to score big during adulthood, or blow it all on a hot and exciting adolescence and end up working at McDonalds for the rest of my life. When they put it *that* way, there really isn't a choice, is there?

The message they *should* have been sending (and that I probably should have figured out on my own anyway) is that there is a BALANCE. For years and years, I didn't know about or try to achieve that balance because I bought the adults' "all or nothing" message about education wholesale. I really believed that I was just deferring that whole other aspect of life...not killing it permanently.

I finally got my degree...and the career, but by the time I did...I'd completely blown my adolescence. I didn't know a *thing* about that whole other aspect of life that my peers had been learning when they were teenagers. I couldn't *start* that in my mid-/late-twenties: I'd be the object of ridicule.

The adults meant well, but by selectively withholding certain knowledge, they set me up to take a detour in which I would waste *years*, and by the time I figured out I was going the wrong way, I'd already lost the best years of my youth.

[Ken Cheng]

Oh it just dawned on me that this thread got a new name....I was wondering why it showed up in my User CP. It's a very appropriate name haha.

Yeah, well...it doesn't feel much like a war at this point.

[Ken Cheng]

You can check out here. Lots of Rayann mentioned, but, don't know if got the whole story or not.

http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showthre...ghlight=rayann

Probably not. The original thread that told the story the first time is gone. I didn't delete it; somebody else did.