The Yeung Gor Hatred Analysis Thread

[Ken Cheng]

Who cares if you haven't got married yet, a couple of my friends that are currently married are arguing every and they keep telling me how they hate going home. Life is perfectly fine being single... its 2010!

I know. Frankly, I do enjoy it myself...but I like to think that it's completely because I *want* to be, not because I have no choice...because I'm not good enough.

I don't think even my cousins knew how potently and irrevocably they were driving that thought into my brain.

[Ken Cheng]

If one revelation has emerged from this discussion, it might be a fairly important one: Yeung Gor isn't the enemy. He's just the *tool* of the enemy.

[kidd]

I'm just constantly filled with a feeling of amorphous hatred, vengeance, and rage. I can't abandon it, nor can I convert it into anything positive. All I want to do is unleash it against those whom I feel deserve it, but my conscience tells me I shouldn't do that either...but I'm feeling like a nuclear reactor about to go to critical mass.

Can you unleash it on a pillow instead? or write on the sand let the wave take it away? Hike to the top of a hill and scream it out?

[Ken Cheng]

Can you unleash it on a pillow instead? or write on the sand let the wave take it away? Hike to the top of a hill and scream it out?

No, because the perpetrators of my pain will still live consequence-free.

It's the *principle* of it that matters most to me.

I must know that those who caused pain have also endured pain in retribution.

[LuNaR]

No, because the perpetrators of my pain will still live consequence-free.

It's the *principle* of it that matters most to me.

I must know that those who caused pain have also endured pain in retribution.

maybe if u come to guangzhou china, i can try to hook u up w/ some1

[chibidaisuke]

How you deal with your problems will probably be only up to you now Ken. Most of the members here have tried their best to help you out.

[LuNaR]

How you deal with your problems will probably be only up to you now Ken. Most of the members here have tried their best to help you out.

word^

except saying that is almost like not saying anything.

[Ken Cheng]

How you deal with your problems will probably be only up to you now Ken. Most of the members here have tried their best to help you out.

But now, hopefully, you have a much clearer understanding of why I've hated Yeung Gor so intensely for so long.

Ironically, I might have discovered that the true source of my wrath lies elsewhere.

[LuNaR]

But now, hopefully, you have a much clearer understanding of why I've hated Yeung Gor so intensely for so long.

Ironically, I might have discovered that the true source of my wrath lies elsewhere.

i still dont know the whole story just bits and pieces here and there.

[Ken Cheng]

i still dont know the whole story just bits and pieces here and there.

I know, Lune, I know. Someday, I'll tell you the whole story. You need to be patient, though, because it takes time to unfold a narrative twenty-five years in the making.

[Candide]

This is like a very cheesy & repetitive TVB drama where some random chick cries all the bloody time and whines about the same old same old, and no matter how much sh!t I'd give my mum for watching this waste of time garbage, sometimes I just can't help taking a look myself.

[yittz]

Ken, we acknowledge what has happened in the past 25 years; but more importantly, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to be a bitter person for the next 25? Or are you going to pick yourself up and show us how the pain and suffering only made you stronger?

[hoatran]

Getting "a beautiful girl" or not is of secondary importance at this point.

It was an analogy Ken. The point is some people are luckier than you. That's just the fact. Get over it, and make the best of the hands you are dealt with.

The most important matter is one of principle: twenty-five years ago, a group of people, through repeated, constant, abusive behavior, forced into my still-developing mind the notion that I don't *deserve* to ever have an ideal companion...that I was defective, not good enough. That caused a domino effect of bad decisions on my part that broadly and deeply affected the next twenty-five years of my life.

That's too bad. You were not only defeated on the outside, it seems like you were defeated deep down. Most people mind are a lot stronger than that. Physically, they might be defeated, and mentally they might be abused. But somewhere deep down inside, they remain defiant. And it's that little defiant, some was able to draw upon to fight back and to rise up against all pressured piled on them.

On the other hand, having an "ideal companion" is a very tall order. I don't think I've seen someone with an "ideal companion" yet. I may have read it in the news, stories, but in real life, I don't think I've seen one. From my experience, what companion you get pretty much depends on what kind of companion you are.

But from watching you on this forum, it seems you do have what it takes to be successful in life as well as in relationships if you know how to direct/focus what you have. You seem to have enough fighting spirits in you. Is that the defiant that I mentioned or just anger. But instead of direct that energy fighting others, it probably be better to direct that energy to fight yourself, to restrain yourself (Yideng gently responded, “Why

should I fight back? What good is it if I win? What good is it if you win? We must fight with ourselves, restrain ourselves!” Ci’en was confused, muttering, “Must fight with ourselves, and restrain ourselves!”) If you know harboring a hate for 25 years is bad, then instead of doing it, direct your energy to write novels, to go tutor, mentor some young ones, go hiking, go do some volunteering. Don't let yourself the time to think about hate.

You also have the ability to restraint yourself. You don't abuse your power to silent others who disagree with you. Do you know what a good trait that is? I've seen a lot of people who acted nice, but when pushed, they would not be able to restraint themselves from trying to silent those who don't agree with them with all means. But you seem to fight fair, even when you hold all the powers. This is a very important element in having a successful relationship: no abuse. So take this trait and try to apply it to your relationships with others. Just relax, treat others nice. When this trait of yours can shine through, it would be just the matter of time before you can have some good relationships, then maybe good companionship.

That's the neglected injustice here. The fact that I'm alone at age thirty-eight is merely a symptom of the problem...not the problem itself.

38 is a little dated, but not that late. But sometimes it's better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. So don't see it as a problem. Just turn your attention to what else can you better direct your energy. See if you can make this your motto: "With a sigh Xiao Longnu said, “We are unfortunate. That is our sad fate. If we could make other people happy, wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

Maybe you are fated to live a bachelor life. Then again, maybe some energies directed toward being nice to others without a reason to might bring you to better relationships.

[Dirt]

Dude, get over it. I'm 37 and I know how you feel and how it is. As you get older, sometimes, you have to leave things behind, that's life. You're 38, not 18. It's time to be mature and own up to your own life. Do it before you turn 40 or 45 and become a laughing stock. The only person you can blame for what you do today is yourself, nobody else is responsible for you or what you choose to do as an adult.

[mawguy]

i was seriously hesitant to write more because i know (1) my blunt and often flippant comments don't always come across well without emoticons and probably offend without me realizing at the time and (2) you probably think me quite presumptious in giving you advice when i hardly know you.

but after 7 pages of this, i feel compelled to point out something. you are most probably aware that there are cases out there of "miracles" for people with cancer or other chronic/terminal illness where just having a positive attitude has helped them tremendously, even to the point of remission.

well, the corollary would also hold true: having a bad, self-abusive attitude can cause serious health problems. i won't say it causes cancer because that most certainly cannot be proved. however, mental turmoil is stress, and when the body is under constant stress of any form, it starts to break down.

i won't go into the ethical issues about why you need to let go -- others have expressed it more than eloquently.

i just want to point out that you owe it to yourself to get rid of this mental anguish because it is not doing your body any good. i don't want you to literally put yourself into an early grave. and you do not deserve to suffer any horrible chronic illness. but the stress you are putting on your body as a result of your inability to let go of your feelings of hatred is poison to your body.

please stop hurting yourself like that.

[Ken Cheng]

Dude, get over it. I'm 37 and I know how you feel and how it is. As you get older, sometimes, you have to leave things behind, that's life.

To me, that sounds too much like I gave up and my cousins *won*...that everything they said about me is right and true.

And damn it, Dennis, I just can't live with that idea...the idea that they were right and that they won.

[Dirt]

And damn it, Dennis, I just can't live with that idea...the idea that they were right and that they won.

How's your life going living with the idea that they're wrong and and they can't win?

Sun Tze wrote:

-知彼知己，百戰不殆；不知彼而知己，一勝一負；不知彼，不知己，每戰必殆
--It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.

[hoatran]

OK. You are a teacher, and you felt you were losing trusts in people... Hm... This is tough, I think. Most people got a different jobs, then when they volunteer, helping others, and get some gratitutes back, they would feel recharged, raise up their trusts in others. But you are already in the helping others job, yet lately events happened to you that make you feel less trusting in other people. Man, I think you are in a tough situation? Where can you go to recharge yourself??? Maybe you need a reverse psychology. You need to find a different job to juice up your competitive spirit. You need a different job to release your anger, your agressions. So maybe it's good that you show your agressions but yet restraint in this forum. But you might need more than that. Are you good at selling? Or maybe immerse yourself into really expressive writings? A la Stephen King style novels? Or like some twisted novels where you can "kill" those whom you don't like at will? I'm just throwing up ideas here ...

[Ken Cheng]

OK. You are a teacher, and you felt you were losing trusts in people... Hm... This is tough, I think. Most people got a different jobs, then when they volunteer, helping others, and get some gratitutes back, they would feel recharged, raise up their trusts in others. But you are already in the helping others job, yet lately events happened to you that make you feel less trusting in other people. Man, I think you are in a tough situation? Where can you go to recharge yourself??? Maybe you need a revese psychology. You need to find a different job to juice up your competitive spirit. You need a different job to release your anger, your agressions. So maybe it's good that you show your agreesions but yet restraint in this forum. But you might need more than that. Are you good at selling? Or maybe immerse yourself into really expressive writings? A la Stephen King style novels? Or like some twisted novels where you can "kill" those whom you don't like at will? I'm just throwing up ideas here ...

Ironically, the only time when I feel OK is when I'm at work. When I'm doing my teaching and it's going well (most of the time), I feel OK.

I know...I know: the next piece of advice is going to be focus on my work. I don't want my life to be defined by my work, though, however successful I might be at it. My work is something I do so that I have money to pay for my living expenses, and yes, I *do* enjoy it, but it doesn't define me.

Should it?

In any case, the success and happiness I might enjoy in my work does *not* offset my continuing problem: no matter how many people I successfully teach, there are *still* my cousins in 1985 constantly reinforcing the idea that I'm a loser forever inferior to Yeung Gor. It's like an anaconda squeezing tighter and tighter and tighter in my brain with each passing day and year.

What I need to be free of this anaconda is PROOF POSITIVE that they were and are wrong...totally and completely wrong about me.

[Ken Cheng]

A la Stephen King style novels? Or like some twisted novels where you can "kill" those whom you don't like at will? I'm just throwing up ideas here ...

I've been writing a fan fiction based on the MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM sci-fi anime series. You can read the parts I've written so far right here on these forums. Just click on the links in my signature (yeah, this is a plug).

Some of what I've written in there relates to my experiences...my frustrations. It's all kind of oblique, though. You might miss the connections unless you know me and my problems somewhat well.

In an upcoming episode, however, I do have plans to write an extended battle scene where the main character (a girl) goes completely BERSERK after seeing one her comrades die, and personally destroys eighty enemy units, Kiu Fung-At-Tsui Yin Manor-style. I plan to describe in painstaking detail how she pummels each enemy to complete destruction and even after all of them lie broken and burning, her bloodlust is still unsatisfied and her *allies* have to struggle to subdue her before she does any more damage.

I'm not sure what that says about my state of mind.