Pick and choose the aspects of each culture which you like, and adopt it as your own. Discard the aspects of each culture which you dislike, and disclaim themI tried hard to be one or the other my whole life. Then out of the blue this old man comes in and labels me however he likes. I hanged out with FOBs during high school but we never clicked. I tried to be more American but I've yet met someone who could look past my yellow exterior. It's the same when it comes to women. I stopped chasing Chinese girls for a period of time because I felt they all have the same certain expectations and standards from Chinese guys that I don't have. There were white or Hispanic girls who had crushes on me but when I tried to take it a step further with them I found out we are like worlds apart. Obviously, I'm not entirely either Chinese or American. But if I'm neither both then what I really am is nothing more than a blank state. It's frustrating when someone you don't know tries to steal a piece of your cultural identity. I think this guy in his mid 40's wanted to declare his seniority over me simply for the fact that he was born in the motherland and I wasn't so that makes him more Chinese. I speak fluent Cantonese, I've yellow skin, and I celebrate every Chinese holiday with my family. I'm as Chinese as he is. If I could speak my mind I would've told this old man to do every Chinese person like me a favor and just get over it.